Wow, I get asked this question on a daily basis—there is no one set formula, but there are proven strategies that can work for you.
I was out to dinner with 3 couples last night—and guess how they all met? We laughed as of course it was online! Once couple has been married 25 years and met in the early Match.com years. Couple #2, together 6 years, giggled about Tinder—a second marriage for both. The last couple (guess who) approached six men in 10 days with fun, direct messages—and yes, number 6 was it for me. (oh, after 5 years of not dating post-divorce).
So, is it luck, work or just the right site at the right time?
7 Tips and Tricks:
1. Writing a Dating Profile
For women, the shorter your profile, the better. For men, the more information the better. Think about it: (not that I’m being sexist, just sharing my experiences as an online dating coach for almost 30 years) —Men get to the point quicker and don’t want to read a long, flowery history of your life. Think Men’s Magazines. There’s a reasons editors write in blurbs or bullet points—it’s the attention span. Women, on the other hand, like plenty of information up front.
2. Make it unique.
I’m looking for a LTR with a gentleman who is…………..Ok, I’m falling asleep just typing this.
Here’s one partial profile a male client and I laughed over yesterday and sent her a message immediately:
“……..starts as friends with sparks and becomes best friends with fireworks – Dr Seuss quote “ We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual Weirdness and call it love!”
They have a date tomorrow.
3. Oh, those photos
Matter! Action works. Posing not so much. A reader: sitting on the floor at a Barnes and Noble with his favorite books stacked around him. A cook: at her pasta press making fettucine. A swimmer: action shot off a diving board.
A grandpa: teaching his grandchildren how to make tamales. Ok, you must have a lovely head shot too—and we know if its been photoshopped and filtered. Don’t forget to date your photos—June 2023. Christmas 2022. We all want to see the current you.
4. Always send a message even if you are on the fence
What do I mean? Let’s say you are 50/50 on someone—send a message as it does not hurt and worst case, you’ll get a bit more info. No likes, hearts, winks. Waste of time.
5. I’ve been online 5 nights this week and nothing.
Ok, my first question is: How many messages did you send? Generally, it’s “oh I was just looking and there is no one”.
Wrong attitude. Why when I as your online dating coach go online together each week do we find 5-8 singles to message? Zero action equals zero dates.
6. Don’t be shy
Ok, there are no rules here. You needn’t send 3 messages each, then ask for a phone number, then make a date. A Stanford study shows that from the time you reach out to a person to the first date/meet, no more than 5 days should pass or the likelihood of a date drops to under 15%. Whew!
Everyone online wants to meet someone—so be graciously direct! Here’s some examples of first messages:
“Hey Henry, you have an adorable puppy! Bon Jovi is my golden, 2 years old and rocks. I’m into archery too—actually a tournament tomorrow. Should we skip the calls and meet for a glass of red Sunday afternoon? I’m interested—Warmly, Carrie”
“Missy, your photos are so happy and your daughters look just like you. I can’t believe you live in Chevy Chase—you’re my neighbor and you bike and we’ve never run into each other. Would you be up for a coffee this weekend—or a bike ride? Matt”
7. This is NOT a full-time job
Keep online dating fun—but schedule it. I recommend 3-4 times per week, for 30 minutes each time. With one big caveat: during that 30-minutes, send 5 new messages. This gives you accountability….and dates!
Have a happy weekend and fun dating!
Andrea McGinty
Founder, 33000Dates
Founder, It’s Just Lunch (sold)
702-494-7344
Specializing in:
Dating Consulting Services and help with writing an online dating profile
Andrea McGinty
Source link
