Suella Braverman is reported to have sent the Russian President a recipe by email. The message, sent from her work email to her personal email account and then forwarded, attached a Word document entitled Roasted Asylum Seeker with Beans.
Miss Braverman handed herself in to the British authorities promptly, after speaking privately to several Tory backbenchers over the course of several hours, and explained that the error was caused by Google’s predictable text algorithm, which had changed “Rishi Sunak” into “Vlad Putin”. So it wasn’t really her fault anyway.
Meanwhile, MI5 insisted that the Home Secretary has their full support and has even been affectionately issued with a double-0 codename. She is 00-zero.
Michael Gove immediately popped up to defend Miss Braverman, saying what an intelligent, useful and caring politician she is and how she’s so full of … integrity. He later denied that Google had changed the spelling of the word he was trying to type.