Herschel Walker has achieved so much in his life. He says he was a cop and he was in the military and trained with the FBI, and of course we all know by now he threatened to kill his wife by putting a gun to her head.
Every one of his family members has told him not to run for politics. His son Christian says:
“You have no idea what I’ve been through in my life,” he said. “You have no idea what me and my mom have survived. We could have ended this on day one. We haven’t. I haven’t told any stories. I’m just saying don’t lie. Don’t lie on my mom. Don’t lie.”
Well, Herschel ain’t lying when he says he’s a pro surfer, and he’s won tons of surfing medals, he saved a baby seal from Antifa, and foiled a plan by Al-Qaeda single-handedly by using his amazing surfing skills. (Naturally, Herschel was unable to give any details about all of his heroics, but what do facts matter to a Republican, especially a Christian?)
No Herschel has an erection, and Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz (two people not normally seen in the company of someone not white – but too many Democrats have “stolen” Republican positions in various states) want to help out their new buddy. (But not invite him to any of the good Reb dinners, just the ones for the media to broadcast).
Will Lindsey and Ted give Herschel a hand with his erection? Will things get greasy and hot and even maybe result in a little tongue wrestling? Enquiring minds want to know!
If any of them lose their jobs, gay porn is always hiring!