“People are gonna say the target is on our back, but I hope it’s right on our forehead in between our eyes. I hope I can see the red dot.”
Joe Mazzulla has delivered plenty of memorable quotes over his two seasons as Celtics head coach. (Danielle Parhizkaran/Globe Staff)
Joe Mazzulla has only been head coach of the Boston Celtics for two seasons.
But the hyper-focused and often blunt basketball coach has already delivered decades worth of headline-stealing quotes and viral musings while fielding questions from the media.
The 2024 NBA champion already set the tone for the upcoming 2024-25 season on Monday, stressing that Boston isn’t focused on pressure amid their title defense because, as the 36-year-old coach put it, “we’re all going to be dead soon.”
With the 2024-25 Celtics set to tip off on Tuesday (and with more Mazzulla soundbites inevitably on the way), here’s a look back at 30 of Mazzulla’s best quotes since taking over as Boston’s head coach.
“People are gonna say the target is on our back, but I hope it’s right on our forehead in between our eyes. I hope I can see the red dot,” Mazzulla said when asked on the “Locked On Celtics Podcast” about teams targeting Boston as the reigning champs.
“I wouldn’t say I enjoyed the offseason. I enjoyed the parade. I thought the parade was a rather intense experience.” — Joe Mazzulla on his summer.
“Before I forget, no one’s ever asked me what my favorite scene from ‘The Town’ was. I know you guys all know that’s my favorite movie, but no one’s ever been curious about what my favorite scene is? … My favorite one is Doug MacRay is getting ready to leave town, and he skips by the FBI’s car and leaves a nice, well-thought-out handwritten note underneath the antenna, and then gets out of town. That’s my favorite scene.” — Mazzulla on “The Town.”
“Zero, feel zero difference. And I think if you’re ever lucky to do again, when it does feel different — that’s when I’d rather not do it anymore.” — Mazzulla on whether the 2024-25 season feels different after winning a championship.
“If we ever decided to rob Fenway, I was like, ‘We could probably really get away with this.’ How could you not go to Fenway and think you couldn’t rob it?” — Mazzulla on visiting Fenway Park after watching “The Town.”
“That will never happen if you don’t run back on defense, rebound, execute, and get to your spacing. That’s the most important thing.” — Mazzulla when asked before Game 5 of the NBA Finals about joining the ranks of other legendary coaches in Boston.
“Nobody cares.” — Mazzulla’s response to Derrick White after the Celtics guard congratulated him for winning NBA Coach of the Month earlier in the 2023-24 season.
“We’re either gonna win or we’re not, and 40 years from now, none of you are invited to my funeral and that’s it.” — Mazzulla on why the media doesn’t affect him in his job.
“I was kind of excited about the whole situation. So I enjoyed watching it.” — Mazzulla on the on-court scuffle between the Celtics and Heat during Game 1 of their playoff series in April.
“We’re watching the scene where Batman goes into the interrogation room with Joker and they’re talking and Batman’s like ‘Why do you want to kill me? And like the Joker starts laughing. “He’s like, ‘I don’t want to kill you. He’s like, I need you. You complete me.’ And it was like the coolest moment. Like good and evil has to coexist.” — Mazzulla on “The Dark Knight.”
“If you’ve ever been in a fight with someone and you think you’re about to beat them, you usually get sucker-punched. The closer you are to beating them up, the closer you are to losing.” — Mazzulla on the Celtics being up 2-0 in the 2024 NBA Finals.
Everybody wants to win until it’s really time to win. And then you have to nut up and do a lot of [expletive] that you don’t want to do.” — Mazzulla on the Celtics’ mindset during the playoffs.
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Conor Ryan is a staff writer covering the Bruins, Celtics, Patriots, and Red Sox for Boston.com, a role he has held since 2023.