GUATEMALA CITY, Guatemala – (Satire News) – According to the Nacional News Agency, the Guatemala City Hot Tamale Ball Kickers play in Ixtantan Soccer Stadium, which is allegedly the most luxurious stadium in the world, even more luxurious than a gold-plated bidet.
The stadium was named after Gomer Ixtantan, who is apparently just a simple, hardworking businessman and not at all a multi-billionaire drug boss. His architect designed Ixtantan Stadium to resemble a giant taco.
Gomerito, as his beautiful wife Staci Jo (a former Miss Tijuana) calls him, had the stadium designed with four 5-star taco trucks, a piñata store, a 24-hour banda music clinic, a tequila kiosk, and an exquisite House of Bean Dip.
SIDENOTE: The Sports Bet Gazette recently named Ixtantan Stadium “The World’s Most Amazing Athletic Stadium In All of Sports,” although it’s unclear if the judges were sober at the time.