Strapped for cash, a political party peopled with a few billionaires is thinking that they might have to privatise Gravity in order to balance the books.
The naturally occurring phenomenon is useful for keeping things close to the ground and would cause no end of problems if it was to be privatised, but still, the government are thinking it will be a good idea.
Ministers for Keeping the truth from the Public and The Department for stupid ideas are said to be in talks.
‘We tried it once’ said Lewis Money ‘but it didn’t work. The whole building went up, so did the pens, Sandra from Accounts was deeply traumatised, but I suspect it is just a question of scale.
Priscilla Stupid continued ‘Yes, once we move this to a national model, it will be great. We can float all of the United Kingdom closer to America, so we can be friends with them.’