A man was supported online when he said he wasn’t willing to sell his mother and sister the house he bought when they offered him the same price he paid 12 years ago.

The man, u/Puzzleheaded-Rush413, shared his side of the story to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole, earning over 6,600 upvotes and 1,100 comments for his post, “[Am I the A**hole] for refusing to sell my starter home for under market value to my mother & sister?”

The original poster (OP), 34, says he bought his 1,000 square-foot townhome when he was in his early 20s for $120,000. He spent a lot of time upgrading the house and now it’s worth about $400,000. OP planned to sell his home and use the proceeds towards a down payment on a larger house with a price tag of $600,000. However, when his mother and younger sister heard he was planning to sell, they demanded he sell them the home.

“Even with their combined income, neither could afford a mortgage that size. They want me to sell them my home for the $120k I bought it for,” u/Puzzleheaded-Rush413 wrote.

He refused their demand, though, saying that not only has he not had a good relationship with the pair, he actually moved out of state to escape them.

“They keep trying to convince me to sell the home for under value so ‘they can finally have some stability in their life,'” he wrote. “Both of them are p**sed at me, & have dragged the whole family into the drama. Half are on my side, & half are on their side. I need outside opinions at this point.”

A man was supporting for refusing his mother and sister’s demand that he sell them his house for the exact price he paid for it over a decade ago.
iStock/Getty Images

Though the real estate market has cooled somewhat, due to higher interest rates, things aren’t so bad that one would have to sell off their home for under a third of its value. And though Newsweek has reported on some people trying to use familial bonds to pressure homeowners into giving up their houses, those with the homes have usually been supported over family members looking for a free or cheap house.

Robert Hinojosa, LCSW & Certified Financial Social Worker told Newsweek that when it comes to family looking for a handout that one’s not willing to give, it’s important to set firm boundaries.

“Finances and family are some of the worst aspects in life to mix, especially if your family has some toxic tendencies. Setting good boundaries sometimes means choosing what you will and will not talk about with your family, especially if you know what is safe to talk about and what things could potentially be taken advantage of,” he said.

Hinojosa added that when it comes to someone trying to force the extended family to take sides, it’s often best just to “explain that they do not have all the information and ask them to stay out of the middle of it.” And sometimes when the conflict is based on what is, on its face, an unreasonable request, it can help to explain the reasoning for the rejection.

“Saying no to an unreasonable request is surprisingly simple, but getting up the courage to do so can be incredibly difficult. Simply put, you just have to point out that what they are asking is not realistic and why, i.e. ‘I cannot loan you $500 because even though it may seem I live a fairly comfortable life, my money is strictly managed with a budget and I cannot afford that’. Notice that the statement did not focus on reasons they were asking or why they needed the money in the first place, only on what is realistic for the person being asked,” he said.

“This is a simple way to avoid conflict and blaming leading to escalation of a situation while still getting your point across. Saying this to a family member, however, can be difficult because of feelings of obligation to family, your own values and morals around supporting family and duty around family, and your own ideas around showing your own stability and worth, as well as many other factors,” Hinojosa added.

Redditors took u/Puzzleheaded-Rush413’s side in the conflict.

“[Not the A**hole] all the family on their side are welcome to give them a home or money for one. Because if you sell for that price they can just turn around and sell it and get money right away. Even if they don’t sell it you would be giving them a house basically,” u/Pomegranate_1328 wrote in the top-rated comment, earning 10,900 upvotes. “Even if they live in the house for years they can sell it for a profit. I definitely think OP is [Not the A**hole] and shouldn’t sell.”

“And the thing is, they’d probably do it too. Anyone so self involved and entitled to ask their estranged relative to literally gift them 300K and get p**sed when told no is just as likely to take the gift and sell it for a profit without a care in the world about how damaging any of it was to the person that did them a favor,” u/Lendyman added.

“I gave a former friend of mine a deal on an old snowblower because I was in the market for a bigger one and he was ‘low on cash and really did not want to shovel anymore’. $80 for it. Showed up at his house about a month later and noticed it was shoveled instead of snow-blown. I asked him if the snowblower was broken. Nope ‘oh, I sold that for a couple hundred. Needed the cash’. Former friend for a reason,” u/Shwagoneer shared.

“[Not the A**hole] Your toxic family (which you moved out of state just to get away from), is asking you to just give them $280k,” u/ed_lv wrote. “Sell your house, and cut the leaches out o your life for good.”

“[Not the A**hole] why should you lose profit on a home you’ve worked hard to pay the mortgage on and do up,” u/Lia_Delphine wrote. “Tell your mother and sister that it’s not your responsibility to give them stability and that’s 280,000 you would have to pay out of your own pocket for the new house. God I’m sick of entitled family members.”

Newsweek reached out to u/Puzzleheaded-Rush413 for comment. We could not verify the details of this case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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