At one time or another many of us have felt that we either backed down from a fight too soon or pushed too strongly.
In part two of this episode we explore how to make the decision of whether or not to back down from a fight.
The main takeaways from this episode include:
1. Consider your style
When it comes to relationships, personal insight is almost always beneficial. This is incredibly true when it comes to knowing when to back down or push through a fight.
Take a moment and reflect on your personal style or tendency. Do you tend to “sacrifice for the sake of peace” or do you tend to be a “win at all costs” type of person?
If you imagine general tendencies or style on a continuum, it can be helpful to work toward moving toward the center, which is a balanced approach to arguing.
Meaning, you back down when things seem like a little deal or when you “agree to disagree” and you push through and assert yourself on bigger deals.
2. Consider your content
The content of the discussion matters when deciding whether to back down or not from a fight.
If you find that you are building resentment or are regularly triggered about a particular content area, it may be time to assert yourself or assert yourself more strongly.
If the content is minor and you can agree to disagree or you can abandon this area without building resentment or the relationship being harmed, this may be a time to back down.
The bottom line is that if your relationship is deteriorating because of a particular area of concern, this is a clue to continue to push forward in this area and work toward a resolution that feels better.
3. Consider your relationship
The closeness, level of trust, and commitment to maintain a relationship all matter when determining whether to back down from a fight or not.
If you have a high level of trust in someone, you may feel more secure asserting yourself because you know that they will consider your heart or intention.
If you have a low level of trust or confidence in someone, it may not feel as safe asserting yourself or continuing a discussion around a particular content area.
Also, your level of commitment to maintaining a relationship will matter when you decide whether or not to back down from a fight.
Your commitment to making it work with your partner, may be different than your commitment to making it work with a new friend.
What else is there?
To learn more, and hear about what may be necessary to maintain a relationship with someone you “agree to disagree” with make sure to listen to the full episode.
We hope you listen, subscribe, and review the podcast. If you want to apply to be a guest on the podcast, we’d love to hear from you.
Dr Morgan Cutlip
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