DENVER – (Spoof News) – The Mile High City is exporting its finest green to all 50 states and 17 countries worldwide, including China, Norway, Ethiopia, and Macedonia.
Local pot farmers credit the Rocky Mountain snowmelt for nourishing the plants and giving them a sweeter taste than any imported strain from Yucatan, Sinaloa, Cabo San Lucas, or Tijuana.
Pot growers in Colorado have revealed that they have been playing classical music to their plants to enhance their growth. According to them, the weed seems to prefer Mozart over Beethoven, and they have noticed a significant difference in the size and potency of the plants.
Mozart’s Melting Madness has been voted “The Best Damn Marijuana In The Entire Northern Hemisphere.”
SIDENOTE: In other news, a notorious drug dealer from Durango, Colorado, has been caught shipping two pounds of Durango Bango to Mar-a-Lago every month, according to Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle.