XJJohnson/jpistudios.com

Single File: DAYS’s Marlena (Deidre Hall) listened to Alex’s (Robert Scott Wilson) dating observations.

There were so many clever lines uttered on soaps between May 22 and May 29, and in the capable hands of many of daytime’s most dynamic actors, these sitcom-worthy lines truly tickled our collective funny bone. Here’s a sampling of the humorous dialogue that stood out to Digest editors this week.

 

Bold And Beautiful

(Donna asks Eric about his workout.)

Eric: “I really accomplished a lot. I think I‘ve earned myself three extremely dry martinis.”

 

Days Of Our Lives

(Ava, Harris and Lucas look for a place to grab something to eat in Montana, where they’ve met to search for Clyde.)

Harris: “I saw a gas station at the edge of town. I think they had a convenience store.”

Lucas: “Oh, right. I saw the signs. They had guns and ammo and fireworks and bait.

Ava: ”Oh, guy, but I had bait for lunch.”

 

(During a therapy session with Marlena, Alex opens up about his less-than-ideal love life.)

Alex: “To be honest with you, Dr. Evans, nowadays it’s about the money for a lot of women.”

Marlena: “For a lot of women? Have you done a survey?”

Alex: “No survey, but I’m speaking from personal experience.”

Marlena: “And what have you learned?”

Alex: “I have learned that since I became the heir to the Kiriakis fortune, women are throwing themselves at me a lot more than usual.”

 

(Stefan meets Kristen at an eatery at Horton Square.)

Kristen: “So what does this place have? Hot dogs? Chicken wings? Can I at least get a glass of wine?”

Stefan: “We’re here to talk, Kristen.”

Kristen: “What? We couldn’t have talked in the mansion? In one of the 52 rooms?”

 

General Hospital

(In Brennan’s hospital room, John calls him out about the delay tactics his lawyers are using.)

John: “Seems your lawyers are very busy asking for postponements, and their justifications are flimsy at best. Almost as if they’ve been given the directive to stall. You’d better watch that legal bill. It’s gonna be a doozy.”

Brennan: “Yeah, I told them to take their time because I wanted the full Pentonville experience. My stay just wouldn’t be complete until I’d been stabbed in the showers.”

 

Young And Restless

(Sally is grateful for Nick’s understanding.)

Sally: “You’re amazing, Nick.”

Nick: “I mean, that’s the rumor.”

 

(Sally laments to Chloe about them no longer working together.)

Sally: “I do miss you giving me a hard time about Adam.”

Chloe: “I would gladly do that even if we aren’t speaking to each other. I mean, I can send you daily emails.”

 

(Now that Sally has been rehired at Marchetti, she wants to bring Chloe on board.)

Chloe: “I think you’re being overly optimistic about Summer bringing me in at Marchetti.”

Sally: “Hey, let me handle that part.”

Chloe: “I burned a really big bridge.”

Sally: “Yeah, well, I torpedoed that same bridge and Summer still brought me back.”

 


Mara Levinsky

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