Love celebrities, dontcha? What would you do to own a piece of your fav star? Or rather, what part of your fav star would you like to own?
Well, ever since Lady Gaga got puked on with green liquid — and blew the house down, raising the bar for other celebs — fans want a taste of that Gaga magic!
Gaga herself didn’t puke, but if you’d like to own a few drops of her vomit (in a rainbow of colors — Happy Pride, everybody), then you too can buy a perfume bottle of ‘Gaga Chunder’ for the low, low price of $200 per bottle. The bottle is the size of an eye dropper, without the bottle or rubber squeeze bulb, and only half the size, maybe less… small… and expensive.
And awesome!
Taylor Swift can’t stop making money! She wants in. Want some of her concert sweat? Got $700 – $1500 burning a hole in your pocket? For a scrap of lint-filled cloth stained by Taylor’s authenticated forehead sweat (sorry, fans, just the forehead, anywhere else is gonna cost ya), you too can own the smell of Swift.
Justin Bieber hasn’t been around much since Covid made his face droop permanently — not good for concerts, posters, and t-shirt sales — unless his publicist can come up with a great marketing campaign to spin the ugly into something beautiful… which she did.
Want some of Justin’s sperm? Good luck! Pee, poop, bile, snot, blood… whatever he’s got, you don’t get to have. But if you’d like to own a 2-ounce cheap plastic bottle into which Justin has breathed… ‘Bieber Breath’… it will only set you back $500 each. And that’s on sale for Pride Month only.
So save up and buy, buy, buy a piece of your favorite celebrity. They don’t really care about you, only your money… so get some of them while you still can and while they’re young and pretty and you too are young enough to realize you ain’t no suckka, you’re just a huge fan!
And not at all crazy… after all, they’re making the money and you just bought puke, dumbass.