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  • Newborn Dressing Essentials: From Onesies to Footies

    Newborn Dressing Essentials: From Onesies to Footies

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    I remember how overwhelming it was when I was pregnant with my first, not knowing what I actually needed, how much of each thing I’d need, etc. The names even confused me. A onesie is a shirt with snaps at the bottom? It would make sense to me for it to be what an all in one baby outfit is called, but those were called stretchies, or babygro’s… So many names, so many things… If you are going to have a baby for the first time, you might also be at a loss of where to start. Here’s a list of the types of clothes your baby will need, at least for the first year. And of course, to keep costs down, see how many second hand items you can get. Baby diaper explosions ruin clothing so fast, so even if you buy pristine, perfect, brand new clothes, they won’t stay looking that way for a while… So better cut costs there. And maybe buy one or new nice outfit for a special occasion, like their baby naming ceremony, or the first wedding they’ll attend.

    As a new parent, you have many decisions to make before your first baby arrives. You need a safe car seat that fits with the stroller you like – and trust me, there are tons of strollers to pick from! A carrier is essential, too, for those times when your baby just wants to cuddle close. You’ll have to choose the right type of carrier for you among the many styles available. Then, you get to pick out bassinets, bouncers, and swings. And let’s not forget about setting up the nursery with furniture, colors, and decorations. It’s a lot, but with some planning, research, and tips from friends and family, you’ll start to fill up your registry.

    Our Ultimate Baby Clothes Checklist is here to simplify at least one part of getting ready for your baby’s arrival. Creating your baby’s wardrobe shouldn’t stress you out. It really boils down to keeping your little one comfy and making your life as a new parent easier. Stick to the essentials, and you won’t need much. Your newborn will probably spend most of their time in onesies and footies for the first few months – and that’s totally fine. Remember, babies grow quickly, so always keep that in mind when shopping. With our checklist, you’ll be able to put together a functional yet adorable wardrobe with ease.


    1. Onesies

    Onesies are the backbone of any baby wardrobe. They’re versatile and comfortable for your little one. Look for onesies with snaps at the bottom. This design makes diaper changes quick and hassle-free. I recommend getting onesies in various sizes because babies grow so fast. Cotton onesies are great because they’re soft on your baby’s skin.


    2. Sleepers and Footies

    Sleepers, also known as footies, are perfect for keeping your baby warm and cozy, especially during naps and nighttime. The best part? They cover your baby from neck to toe, so you don’t have to worry about socks falling off tiny feet. Many sleepers come with zippers or snaps, making them super convenient for those middle-of-the-night changes.


    3. Special Occasion Outfit

    There will be moments when you want your baby to look extra chic—a family photo, a holiday gathering, or another special event. These beautiful
    newborn dresses Jacadi for little girls or a dapper little suit for boys, can be just the thing for these memorable occasions. Look for something with easy access for diaper changes to keep your baby looking stylish without sacrificing convenience.


    4. Hats and Socks

    Babies lose a lot of heat through their heads and feet, so hats and socks are essential, especially for outings or cooler environments. You don’t need too many – just a few pairs of socks and a couple of soft hats should do the trick. Choose materials that are gentle on the skin and won’t irritate your baby.


    5. Seasonal Wear

    You’ll need some seasonal items depending on when your baby is born. In summer, lightweight and loose-fitting clothes will keep your baby cool. In winter, you’ll want warm jackets or snowsuits if you live in a cold climate. Always remember to layer – it’s the easiest way to adjust your baby’s temperature.


    6. Swaddle Blankets

    Swaddling helps newborns feel secure and can even help them sleep better. A good swaddle blanket is a must. It’s like giving your baby a gentle hug all night long. You can find swaddle blankets with Velcro or simple ones that you wrap manually. Whichever you choose, make sure it’s soft and breathable.


    7. Bibs and Burp Cloths

    Keeping your baby’s clothes clean can be challenging with feeding and drooling. A good supply of bibs can protect those adorable outfits from spills and stains. Soft, absorbent burp cloths are also essential for cleaning up after feedings.


    8. Playwear

    As your baby starts moving and exploring, you’ll want durable playwear that can withstand crawling and the occasional mess. Look for rompers and jumpsuits that offer freedom of movement and can handle frequent washing.


    9. Knitwear

    Soft, knitted garments such as sweaters, booties, and caps are perfect for keeping your newborn warm and cozy. They’re also stretchy, which means they can grow with your baby for a while. Plus, knitwear often comes in adorable patterns and styles that add a touch of sweetness to any outfit.

    Remember, dressing your newborn doesn’t have to be complicated. With these nine essentials, you’ll have everything you need for those first few months. Keep it simple, focus on comfort, and you’ll be a pro at this before you know it.

    Before you go, check out our guide for first-time moms. You can learn so many things and be prepared for the journey ahead.

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  • Greenville Youth Chorale: Sharing A Love For Singing

    Greenville Youth Chorale: Sharing A Love For Singing

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    Do you know a young person who loves to sing? Greenville Youth Chorale is a children’s choir offering a four-choir program that serves Upstate singers in K5 through 12th grade. This is the real deal with professional-level choral instruction and inspirational performance opportunities for the Upstate’s young people. GYC is celebrating 5 seasons this year!

    Thank you to Greenville Youth Chorale for sponsoring this article.

    Greenville Youth Chorale

    Greenville Youth Chorale is the creation of Dr. Steven Brundage, a pianist and teacher. Founded in 2019, GYC rehearses in downtown Greenville and serves nearly 100 singers throughout its 4 choirs each season.

    “We are creating a community of young people who love to sing and are committed to vocal and personal growth,” says Artistic Director, Laura Brundage.

    Husband and wife team, Steven and Laura Brundage, lead GYC with a priority towards excellence and inspiration. Their staff of conductors include a talented and award-winning group elementary, high school, and collegiate choral conductors from all throughout Greenville county.

    Inspirational Experiences

    GYC singers experienced a milestone this past year as they performed at the Peace Center with the Greenville Symphony Orchestra in their “Holiday at Peace” shows throughout December. “Providing inspirational and transformative experiences is foundational to our programs and belief system,” says Steven Brundage.

    Chamber Singers, GYC’s high school choir, performs each Christmas with the International Ballet and Greenville Symphony Orchestra in their production of “The Nutcracker,” singing the angelic “Snowflake Waltz” scene.

    Beginning this past April, GYC’s annual spring concert is now held at the Gunter Theatre in downtown Greenville, providing its singers, family, and audience with a world-class performance experience.

    There are so many more transformative experiences awaiting young people who sing with Greenville Youth Chorale. This summer, an ensemble of GYC singers are performing in New York City at Carnegie Hall as part of the National Youth Festival Chorus, and in summer 2025, GYC will perform in London and Canterbury, England!

    The 2024-2025 Season

    Reaching year-five was no easy feat. GYC’s first season was cut short by the COVID pandemic, halting all regular season activities for Greenville Youth Chorale until the fall of 2021.

    “Starting GYC in 2019 with more than 100 singers and such a positive response from the community and then immediately stopping all regular activities before our first season had even ended was hard,” says Steven.

    Greenville Youth Chorale July 2024

    Greenville Youth Chorale bounced right back from COVID shutdowns, beginning the 2021-2022 season with 100 singers back in their rosters.

    The upcoming 5th season will be a celebration of the past while looking to the future. “We have such a wonderful community of singers and families who love the music making, the camaraderie, and who really enjoy the experience of singing together.” says Steven.

    Greenville Youth Chorale will cap their 5th season with a performance in London next summer, 2025!

    Join GYC

    Looking for a music-making community perfect for your child? New singers can apply at greenvilleyouthchorale.com and schedule an audition for August!

    Interested in staying up-to-date during 5th GYC season? Follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

    Greenville Youth Chorale July 2024

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    Kidding Around Team

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  • Float in a Saltwater Pod and Come Out More Relaxed Than Ever

    Float in a Saltwater Pod and Come Out More Relaxed Than Ever

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    Need some time to relax? Heard of a spa called Drift in Greenville, SC? Kidding Around’s Kristina Hernandez headed to Drift Float & Spa to check out their unique spa and saltwater pods for floating. She thought it was really relaxing! Find out about her experience and what you can expect at Drift Float & Spa.

    Floating by myself in the dark in a super epsom salt bath was not necessarily at the top of my list of things I thought would be relaxing. But there I was, doing that exact thing at Drift Float & Spa in Greenville recently. Honestly, it was my curiosity that got the best of me and having heard about what you do at the spa and how relaxing it was, I wanted to try it out. 

    Spa H relaxation room

    Floating in a Pod at Drift: Greenville, SC

    The premise of floating in warm water that has over 1,000 pounds of Epsom salt is that it will not only relax your body and declutter your mind, but that it will also rejuvenate sore muscles, ease pain and migraines, suppress stress hormones, and improve oxygen use.

    You are given a private suite with a pod and a shower. There are no cameras (that was my first question!), and it’s secluded. You first take a shower to remove any dirt and oils while the pod fills with water. The pod is cleaned and sterilized after every use, so you will be floating in a completely clean pod and water.

    Waterproof earplugs are provided, as is vaseline to cover any cuts. Don’t shave beforehand since the salt will not feel good on those areas. You can turn down the lights in the room and get in your pod. They suggest floating in the nude, but if you want to bring a swimsuit, that’s totally fine as well–whatever makes you comfortable. 

    The water is skin temperature so it’s suggested that the initial shower be cool and not hot. Once you get in the pod, you stretch out and float. There is a floating headrest if you’d like to use it, which I did since it was a little more comfortable. You can close the pod, although not all the way, to keep the water warm during your float. Those who are claustrophobic may not want to close it or just close it a little. 

    There are some low lights and music that will fade after five or ten minutes and then just, nothing, darkness. It’s just you and your mind floating in the water. 

    Floating Experience

    We have so many channels of information coming every second, whether it’s a crying kid or the radio or someone else’s music outside or the television or social media. It’s hard to turn it off. That’s where Drift comes in.

    Drift explains that when the sensory overload is shut off, pretty cool things happen: “It turns out that when you’re not fighting gravity or constantly taking in information, your body has a lot of extra resources at its disposal; your mind is able to unwind and flow freely without distraction, your brain pumps out dopamine and endorphins, and your body gets to rest, de-stress, and heal.”

    My mind is always spinning. There is almost never a time when I just stop and think. Even when I relax, I’m listening to a podcast or reading a book – there is always information thrown in my direction. There is never just nothing, a blank space. 

    Honestly, I’m not okay with nothing. I like to think and be mentally stimulated. I have an awful time relaxing. But here in this pod in the dark just floating, you have to let that go and let your mind wander. 

    At first, I was not comfortable floating in the dark. I have a fear of dark water and yes, the water is mere inches deep but still, I think about weird things. I forced myself to stop thinking irrational thoughts and enjoy the time alone. The water is set at body temperature so that you have a hard time figuring out where the water begins and your body ends, that they just flow into each other. I felt that and it was really neat. 

    Even when I tried to think of important stuff, my mind didn’t want to go there. Drift explains that sometimes people solve tough problems in their lives during their float or come up with creative ideas. This makes sense since all distractions are silenced. 

    Floating turned out to be quite relaxing and I can say that I’m no longer so hesitant to be alone with my own thoughts. That’s a win, right?

    Lobby and wiating area at Drift Spa in Greenville, South Carolina

    After Floating

    Music and lights will gently come on to let you know your time in the pod is up. After you’re done, you can take a nice, hot shower to rinse off all the Epsom salt. Shampoo, conditioner, soap, and towels are all provided.

    There is a beauty bar provided with a hair dryer and makeup table with lights if you’d like to do your hair afterwards. 

    Head down the hall to the lounge where there is complimentary water, tea, and even adult coloring books. The whole vibe to Drift is very subtle with dark blues and golds. 

    I felt really good after my float, even better than after a massage. I tried to go to Drift without expectations and more to satisfy my curiosity but left feeling like I wanted to do it again at some point. As someone who has a hard time relaxing and unwinding, I felt like this was a way to tap into both those things that I had not tried before and that worked better than other things I’ve tested. 

    Want to Float? Info and Pricing on Drift: Greenville, SC

    Floats are available for purchase for $85 for a 60-minute float and $99 for a 90-minute float. Packages and memberships are available that lower those prices. And be sure to follow Drift on Instagram or sign up for their email newsletter – that’s how I found out about a 50% off discount on floats and was convinced to give it a shot.

    Gift cards are also available on their site. Parking is available for free in the lot around the back of the building on Main Street, right next to Ji-Roz and Two Chefs Market. 

    Drift Float Spa also offers other services:
    Infrared Sauna – Starting at $45 for 45 mins
    Lucia Light Therapy – Starting at $55 for 45 mins
    Swedish Massage – Starting at $55 for 30 mins
    Oxygen Bar – Starting at $10 for 15 mins

    Drift Float & Spa
    644 N. Main Street, 105, Greenville
    864.414.2388

    Have you visited Drift in Greenville, SC? Let us know what you enjoyed best!

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    Kristina Hernandez

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  • Tube All Day for Less Than $30 for a Family of Four on Deep Creek

    Tube All Day for Less Than $30 for a Family of Four on Deep Creek

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    Planning a tubing day trip? Bryson City, NC is home to Deep Creek tubing, a popular river tubing destination. With several places to rent tubes, plus local campgrounds, Deep Creek tubing is a great choice for a tubing adventure.

    KAG’s Kristina Hernandez spent a day tubing with her kids. Here’s how her day went tubing at Deep Creek, plus some tips for planning your own tubing adventure.

    Tubing has been on my summer bucket list for awhile. I had to wait until I felt comfortable taking my nearly five-year-old out on the river. This was the summer we made it happen and it all went down at Deep Creek in the Great Smoky Mountains in Bryson City, North Carolina. And we did it for super cheap, only $8/person for all day tubing. 

    Tubing on Deep Creek

    Deep Creek is a stretch of pretty shallow water stretching along the Smoky Mountains on the North Carolina side of the park in Bryson City. There are several campgrounds and places to rent tubes from in a stretch of less than two miles. 

    We rented tubes from Deep Creek Tubing & Campground where tubes cost just $8/each. They come with a life jacket for a refundable 100% $10 cash deposit (and a 50% refundable $10 credit card deposit). I brought ours from home so we didn’t need them. I saw other places, like Tube World just down the road. There were several others outside the park entrance. 

    Since you are parking inside of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, you need a parking sticker. You can get them at kiosks around the park. It costs $5/day, $15/week or $40/year.

    I was a little worried I wouldn’t be able to get a tube since I went on July 4th but there were plenty of tubes and I understood why Deep Creek Tubing doesn’t take reservations. 

    Tubes in the water at Deep Creek

    How Old Should Kids Be to Tube?

    This is a question that parents need to ask themselves. Since it was just me taking my two kids, ages eight and almost five, I needed to be confident enough to know I could safely handle my kids and their tubes floating down the river since we would be tethered together.

    Many tubing places have age restrictions, which we list in our giant list of places to go tubing in NC, SC, and GA. Deep Creek Tubing didn’t have any restrictions. I’ve gone tubing several times, just not with my kids, so I knew what to generally expect and could figure it out from there on what would be safe.

    Both of my kids can swim but I wasn’t taking chances and they both wore life jackets. It can be a wild, bouncy ride. Great Smoky Mountains National Park now requires children 13 years of age and younger to wear a life jacket while tubing. You may bring your own, or rent one at Deep Creek with a $10 deposit, which is 100% refundable if you pay with cash and 50% refundable if you pay with credit card.

    I saw several parents hang onto their kids’ tubes or use twine or ropes to tether tubes together. I felt more comfortable doing that, especially since my youngest was kind of scared the first run down the river. 

    Prepare to Walk

    This was the first tubing experience I ever had where I had to walk my tube to the drop-in point and do it over and over again until I was too tired. Other places take you and your tube to the drop-in point and you float down the river until you hit the outfitters where your car is parked. Not at Deep Creek because vendors are not legally allowed in the park.

    How it works is that you rent the tubes from the rental place, get some help tying them to the roof of your car, drive into the Great Smoky Mountain National Park maybe a mile down the road, park your car either in the big picnic area or up a little ways into another parking lot, get the tubes down from your car and then carry them about a half mile to the first drop-in point, the lower part of the river where the rapids are more calm. You can walk further for a little more adventure but we didn’t do that. 

    Either way, you’ll pass Tom Branch Falls, a beautiful waterfall right on the river. We saw it multiple times because it’s on the trail you walk to get to the drop-in point. Its beauty never got old!

    I had to carry the tube of my youngest kid twice and then both kids another two times – so three tubes total for a mile. It was a workout for sure but still fun and enjoyable. Water shoes are a must since rocks are slippery and the trail is very rocky. I saw people wearing sneakers so whatever works for you, as long as you have shoes on.

    Tubes on a car for transport at Depp Creek

    What to Bring

    Don’t bring much with you because it’s very easy to lose valuables in the river. I bought an awesome little waterproof phone carrier where I put my phone and keys and had it around my neck. We applied sunscreen before we started tubing and again midway through the day. We all had hats, which one of my kid’s lost, of course. 

    Some people had sticks or rods to help push them out of the rocks when they got stuck – my version was to either use my feet to push off or get out of the tube in the rapids, slip on the rocks, listen to my youngest get all upset while I was flailing around, and then somehow hop back into the tube and reassure my child I was fine. Everyone has their methods. 

    Since you get out of the river usually where your car is parked, you can take a break during the day and eat lunch. Be sure to drink a ton of water since it’s hot and you don’t want to get dehydrated, which can totally happen even though you’re in water all day. There are no vendors anywhere in the park but since I had to bribe my youngest kid to get in the water, I did find out there is a good snack bar with ice cream right outside the entrance to the park. They also have nachos, hamburgers, hot dogs, etc.

    Day Trippin’

    Bryson City is only about a two-and-a-half-hour drive from Greenville so it’s certainly doable as a day trip. If you want to make it a weekend trip, I’d recommend staying at Sky Ridge Yurts, about 20 minutes away from Deep Creek. Yurts are awesome and Sky Ridge Yurts will blow you away. There is also great hiking, including the Deep Creek Trail (which you can take to Indian Creek for a waterfall view). You can go hiking, biking, and picnicking at several gorgeous places near Bryson City, including the Nantahala Outdoor Center.

    bryson city, nc

    Tube for Free

    You don’t have to rent a tube at Deep Creek to have a fun day on the water. If you already own a river tube, you can park inside the Great Smoky Mountain National Park and hike the half-mile to the drop-in point and tube down the river.

    If I had a river tube, I’d totally do this! I saw a bunch of people tube with their own tubes or other flotation devices. Look for sales at the end of the season to score a big tube for a great price – or just go to Walmart. There’s nothing like tubing on a hot summer day.

    Deep Creek Tubing Rentals

    The Deep Creek area has a few places to rent tubes right near the entrance to the Smokies and Deep Creek. These companies generally operate from Memorial Day weekend through Labor Day, but some could may continue after Labor Day. You’ll find these on West Deep Creek Road in Bryson City.

    Have you been tubing in Deep Creek?

    Where to go tubing near Greenville, SC and find great "tubing near me".

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    Kristina Hernandez

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  • Healthy Sabudana Idli Recipe for Babies, Toddlers, and Kids

    Healthy Sabudana Idli Recipe for Babies, Toddlers, and Kids

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    Introducing a delightful and nutritious dish perfect for your little ones: Sabudana Idli! This recipe is specially crafted for babies, toddlers, and kids, ensuring a healthy and tasty meal that even the pickiest eaters will love. Sabudana, also known as tapioca pearls, is packed with essential nutrients and provides a great energy boost, making it an ideal ingredient for growing children. Let’s dive into this easy-to-make and delicious recipe that will surely become a family favorite.

    Sabudana Idli is not only a treat for the taste buds but also a powerhouse of nutrition. Sabudana is rich in carbohydrates, providing a quick source of energy that is essential for active kids. It is also gentle on the stomach, making it suitable for babies and toddlers with sensitive digestive systems. The fermentation process involved in making idlis adds to the nutritional value by enhancing the bioavailability of vitamins and minerals. Additionally, this recipe is gluten-free, making it a great option for children with gluten sensitivities or allergies. The soft, fluffy texture of Sabudana Idlis makes them easy for little hands to hold and eat, promoting self-feeding and fine motor skills. Serve them with a side of coconut chutney or a mild vegetable stew, and you have a wholesome, balanced meal that is as nourishing as it is delicious.

    Health Benefits of Sabudana

    Sabudana, also known as tapioca pearls, is a versatile and nutrient-rich ingredient that offers numerous health benefits, making it an excellent choice for babies, toddlers, and kids. Here are some key health benefits:


    • Energy Boost : Sabudana is a rich source of carbohydrates, providing a quick and sustained energy boost. This makes it ideal for active children who need plenty of energy to play and grow.
    • Easy Digestion : Sabudana is gentle on the stomach and easy to digest, which is particularly beneficial for babies and toddlers with developing digestive systems. Its soothing properties can help alleviate digestive issues such as constipation.
    • Gluten-Free Option : For children with gluten sensitivities or celiac disease, sabudana is a safe and nutritious alternative to wheat-based products. Its gluten-free nature ensures that they can enjoy a variety of dishes without any adverse reactions.
    • Rich in Essential Nutrients : While primarily a source of carbohydrates, sabudana also contains small amounts of protein, calcium, and iron. These nutrients are crucial for the healthy growth and development of bones, muscles, and overall body functions in children.
    • Supports Weight Gain : For underweight children or those needing to gain weight, sabudana can be a helpful addition to their diet. Its high-calorie content provides the necessary energy and nutrients to support healthy weight gain.
    • Hydration and Cooling Effect : Sabudana has a natural cooling effect on the body, making it a great food choice during hot weather to keep children hydrated and prevent heat-related issues.
    • Versatility in Recipes : Sabudana can be used in a variety of recipes, from savory dishes like khichdi and vadas to sweet treats like kheer and puddings. This versatility ensures that kids can enjoy different textures and flavors while reaping the health benefits of sabudana.

    Incorporating sabudana into your child’s diet can provide these numerous health benefits, ensuring they receive the essential nutrients needed for their growth and development.

    Recie of Sabudana Idli

    Sabudana Idli

    Ingredients

    • Sabudana/Sago/Tapioca: ¾ cup
    • Idli Rava: 1 cup
    • Curd: 1.5 cups
    • Cooking Soda/Baking Soda: ¼ tsp (optional)
    • Water: 1.5 cups
    • Salt: as required
    • Ghee: 1 tsp
    • Mustard Seeds: ½ tsp
    • Cashews: 6

    Instructions

    • Measure out the sabudana, idli rava, and curd.
    • Wash the sabudana thoroughly and mix it with the idli rava.
    • Beat the curd and add it to the sabudana-idli rava mix.
    • Add the required amount of water and salt, and mix everything together.
    • Cover the mixing bowl with a plate and let it soak overnight or for at least 8 hours.
    • The next morning, mix everything well again.
    • If the idli rava has absorbed most of the water, add more water to achieve an idli batter consistency (neither too thick nor too thin).
    • In a tadka pan, heat the ghee and add the mustard seeds.
    • Once the seeds crackle, add the broken cashews and sauté until golden brown.
    • Add the tempered mixture to the sabudana idli batter.
    • Add baking soda (if using) to the batter and mix well.
    • Pour the batter into each idli mould.
    • Steam the idlis with a cup of water for 15 to 20 minutes on medium flame.
    • Check the idlis with a spoon; if it comes out clean, the idlis are ready.
    • Switch off the flame and remove the idlis from the mold.

    Enjoy these healthy and delicious Sabudana Idlis with your favorite chutney or sambar!

    Sabudana Idli

    Sabudana Idlis are a perfect blend of taste and nutrition, making them an ideal meal for babies, toddlers, and kids. This recipe ensures your little ones enjoy a healthy and delicious dish that is gentle on their stomachs and packed with energy-boosting carbohydrates. Whether served for breakfast, lunch, or as a snack, these idlis are sure to become a family favorite.

    Give this easy and nutritious Sabudana Idli recipe a try today, and watch your children relish every bite! Don’t forget to share your experience and any variations you tried in the comments below. Happy cooking!

    Sabudana Idli

    Frequently Asked Questions

    Can I use regular rice instead of Idli Rava in this recipe?

    Yes, you can use regular rice. Simply grind the rice into a coarse powder to mimic the texture of Idli Rava. However, the texture and taste may slightly differ from the traditional Idli Rava.

    Is it necessary to soak the sabudana and idli rava mixture overnight?

    Yes, soaking the mixture overnight or for at least 8 hours is essential. This allows the sabudana to absorb moisture and soften, resulting in a better consistency for the idli batter.

    What can I use as a substitute for curd in this recipe?

    If you want a dairy-free option, you can use plant-based yogurt such as coconut or almond yogurt. Ensure it has a similar consistency to curd to maintain the right batter texture.

    Buy Healthy Nutritious Baby, Toddler food made by our own Doctor Mom !

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  • To Other Parents, Please Stop Asking me THIS Question

    To Other Parents, Please Stop Asking me THIS Question

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    “Where are you going to school?”

    “What will you major in?”

    “Are you excited?”

    My daughter fields these questions with ease. She’s been eagerly awaiting post-high school life since the age of 13 when she declared herself ready for college. While these last four years have flown for me, she’s been slogging through it and she’s ready to go.

    Why do people ask ME what I’LL do once my daughter leaves home? (Shutterstock insta_photos)

    My daughter answers questions about her future with ease

    She’s asked many questions – polite and inquisitive conversation starters. As the graduate’s mother, I’m asked just one, delivered with a sympathetic smile or a patronizing pat on the shoulder. It’s a question that can easily lead me into an exaggerated eye roll or a total rage, the type of feelings that come in ALL CAPS. 

    “And how about you, mom? What will you DO after she leaves?”

    I try to respond with pleasantries while I silently seethe.

    What will I DO after she leaves? As if there will suddenly be NOTHING TO DO once our youngest heads out? As if we haven’t prepared for this moment over the days, weeks, months and years leading up to it? As if I am not my own person with actual – I don’t know – THINGS TO DO?

    Why do people always ask what I’ll do when my daughter goes to college?

    Do they anticipate finding me months from now, curled in the fetal position on my daughter’s freshly laundered bed, an empty box of bon-bons beside me, tears and drool staining the pillows she left behind?

    What shall I do with this NOTHINGNESS, these seconds and minutes and hours that need to be filled? What do they THINK I will do once she departs?

    Yes, I will cry. A bit. Out of relief and joy and nostalgia, not sadness. And then I’ll do all the normal things one does like, say, take a shower and put on pants and show up for obligations and figure out what to make for dinner because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last few decades, it’s that it’s not going to make itself.

    Sure, I might bemoan the relative quietness of the house. I might miss her. I might also, be really, really busy. Why? Because there’s still so much to DO.

    I have been juggling work and home

    How about work, for one? I’m currently juggling a full-time role, two adjunct teaching positions, and a consultancy practice. Frankly, I could use a few extra hours in my day. For many of us, work will continue or will start up again. Earning a paycheck, making the most of our capabilities, and saving for retirement will be all the more important with two kids in college. 

    How about that other role, the one that suddenly snuck up on us? Just as our kids insist they no longer need our parenting, we’re now called to parent the parents. We’re not just parents of sons and daughters, we too are daughters and sons as well as and aunts and uncles and cousins and friends and neighbors. There’s a village we’re part of that we have benefitted from and that we will continue to contribute to.

    Does the doing stop once your child leaves home?

    There are pets to care for, errands to run, laundry to do (albeit a little less than before), and houses and lawns to tend to. Does the BUTLER FAIRY suddenly show up and take on these tasks? And what I’ve gained by launching the glass hoarder in my house (why are there 6 empty ones in your room and why can’t they find their way to the dishwasher?), I’ve lost my garbage taker-outer, my mail picker-upper, my occasional dog walker.

    Does the DOING stop once the child departs? Haven’t we been waiting for the merry-go-round to slow a bit so we can get stuff DONE?

    So, I apologize if I seem a little snippy when responding to your question, but what do you expect me to say? Does life cease to exist when our kids leave for college? It may feel like that, for a few days, and then life goes on. I suspect you feel the same. You take a moment to enter their room and sniff the air, hoping for the fading scent of them (yes, this is a little weird, but admit it, you’ve done it) and then you realize that while they have departed, YOU are still here.

    You are still you. And you have things to do!

    The words of Dr. Seuss shared with so many graduates apply to us too:

    You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

    What is your next chapter?

    What’s in your next chapter? You get to craft this story page by page. And though staring at the blank spots may seem daunting, when there are fewer daily “should do’s,” there are many more “could do’s” to consider.

    There are friends you’ve missed that you’ll want to see. What will you talk about? Your kids – yes, for sure – but also YOU. Who you are and what matters to you and why you put that on the back burner and how you’re going to pick it up again now, scorched plate and all, and revive it into a life that continues long after these last 18 years are complete.

    Maybe you’ll pick up pottery or pickleball, start that side gig, or watch that Netflix series you’ve had on your list since 2016. Maybe you’ll meditate, moisturize, finally get that colonoscopy you’ve been putting off. Maybe you’ll take a moment to breathe and to BE, rather than to DO.  When was the last time you did that? 

    Parenting doesn’t stop when kids leave home

    There are dreams to be had and plans to be made and just when you get comfortable with that very idea of when you’ll get the text. Your college kid needs you. For the bursar bill or a care package or challenges with a roommate. So, you drop what you’re DOING so that you can DO for them, what you can from afar, no longer leading the band, but pulling up the rear when necessary. 

    This parenting thing doesn’t stop when they leave home. You still DO it, just differently from before. And hopefully that leaves time to DO those other things you’ve left undone.

    So please stop asking me what I’ll DO when my kid leaves for school. Stop looking at me with sympathy and sadness, as if I’ll fall apart any moment. I might, but I promise I’ll pull myself back together again.

    Why? Because I’ve got things to do. And you do too. And, by the way, you’d better get on it. They’ll be home before you know it for break. 

    More Great Reading:

    Not Crying at College Drop Off? GOOD! Don’t Feel Any Guilt About it Either!

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    Valerie Gordon

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  • As I Parent My Daughter, I Can Feel Everything About Being a Teen All Over Again

    As I Parent My Daughter, I Can Feel Everything About Being a Teen All Over Again

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    My 15-year-old, Nora, was recently in a musical produced by a local community theater program. It was funny, and sweet and mildly irreverent, and the schedule leading up to the show dates was increasingly busy. When it was over there was the expected letdown although, to be honest with you, Nora does really well with letdown.

    It’s like she was born with the ability to experience peace, to succumb to a deserved state of rest, without all the emotions that get in the way of fully enjoying it. The sadness or regret or wondering what’s coming. I’m not saying she doesn’t feel those things at all, but she’s much better at navigating transitions like these than I am.

    Mother and daughter
    It’s hard not to insert myself into my daughter’s life. (Photo credit: Cara McDonough)

    My daughter is better at navigating transitions than I ever was

    After the last performance and the cast party, she and a few fellow cast members went to see yet another show at a high school a couple towns away. I drove her and a friend, listening to them chatter about the previous few days, laughing over photos they’d taken, texting others who’d be meeting them there.

    I remained contentedly quiet, hands on the wheel, eyes on the directions. It’s like an observational tower, really, the front seat of a minivan. 

    The part of parenting I can’t get over at this juncture is remembering exactly how it felt to be Nora’s age-exactly how-and not mentioning it every other second. Holding myself back, at least for the most part, from uttering that truth, which would undoubtedly be met with quick dismissal, total disbelief. Letting her moments take their own shape.

    It’s so hard not to foist my knowledge on my daughter

    What I can’t get over is how hard it is not to foist my current or former emotions, my wants and my know-how on her unique experience, as though the teen-now-adult me knows better, because lord knows, I do not. I don’t know better, I just know. And teenagers, the thing about them is that they don’t think anybody does. I realize this because I have and was one. The latter, it seems like yesterday, I swear.  

    It’s what makes that age so glorious and terrifying, I think. That feeling of being the first person to experience a particular feeling ever is what makes the friendships so intense, and the heartbreak so unbearable. It’s what makes the fun next-level. 

    I can feel that next level fun still, can pull it so easily from the depths. The time my friends and I tore the silly poems we’d been writing for each other all year from our lockers and submitted them to our high school’s literary magazine five minutes before their deadline. The time we got the cartilage of our ears pierced, all together, all giddy and on display in the middle of the mall (I removed my earring days later; it hurt when I slept on it and I was a complete wimp in the presence of that relatively minor pain).

    Sleepovers, laughter, late, late-night meetups at the diner. So much running. So much urgency. There’s plenty of urgency in my grown-up life as a parent and a professional. Not the same, though, not the same in the slightest.

    I think about how invisible my parents were to me when I was 15

    When I dropped Nora and her friend off for that show, they tumbled out of the car and said goodbye, but otherwise, as they scouted the scene for friends, made last minute calls, I was invisible. As it should be. I think about this all the time these days.

    How present, loving and sometimes invisible my parents were to me when I was Nora’s age. Not in a negative way. Not that they weren’t there, every step of the way, when I needed them. But that they let the harmless teenage glory be. They let me have it. 

    And driving home, some deep emotional trench opened up. Not the kind where you’re longing or clinging or sad. But like I could feel that part of my life again, and be grateful for it, full stop. Like I could be both ok with and deeply moved by it, having had it. Witnessing it again now. It’s so rare, that feeling. A deep alright-ness with the ways of this world, of your world, where you don’t want it different.

    I’m now just in charge of logistics

    I let that feeling carry me home, where I’d soon be summoned to deliver or pick a child up from another location. Them lost in the singularity of their days, me contentedly tethered to the logistics that make it possible. 

    I am probably right in guessing, considering the usual patterns of our family life, that Taylor Swift was playing in the car, the ultimate soundtrack for days gone by tied to these days now. I settled into the comforting role of chauffeur, keeper of many secrets, like the fact that I, too, was once very young. 

    More Great Reading:

    At 15 I Hold Onto the Boy but Also the Emerging Young Man

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    Cara McDonough

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  • Family Games Your Kids Will Love – Janet Lansbury

    Family Games Your Kids Will Love – Janet Lansbury

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    Does your family have any extra downtime this summer? This may be the perfect time to introduce your kids to some simple, giggle-inducing, creative games to play anytime and almost anywhere. I have ideas for you! These are games my kids begged me to play over and over again that would never fail to crack me up too, and even became family lore. Some of these you’ve definitely heard of, others my kids and I invented. None are about winning, losing, screens, or making any sort of product, just learning (without realizing it) and lots of FUN.

    Transcript of “Family Games Your Kids Will Love”

    Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled.

    I’m excited. I think this is going to be fun—at least for me, hopefully for you too. Most of the time when you hear me talking about play, I’m usually talking about how to help nurture our child’s ability to create their play, to be self-directed, because there are so many benefits to this that are well-documented, creatively, cognitively, socially, emotionally, and physically. In terms of developing skills and self-confidence, there’s really nothing like knowing that you have ideas and you can play them out with other children or by yourself. This is a lifelong gift we can give our children. So, most of the time you’re hearing me talk about that. Often it’s about our boundaries, being comfortable not being as involved in play. Being able to be a supporter and a responder rather than somebody that’s doing the play for them in an entertaining way, therefore possibly creating dependencies.

    Today’s going to be completely different because I’m going to talk about games to play with our children. It might be surprising for you to know that my family is a games family. We love games, even now. My kids are adults and we still play games when we’re all together and we really get a kick out of that. And as a parent, I did that too. I would play games with my children when they asked me. Not always. Because I had also tried to cultivate their self-directed play, they didn’t ask me that often to play with them. I would enjoy watching them a lot of the time. I’d enjoy being in the next room and just hearing what was going on. I loved those days when my children used to talk out loud to themselves, playing the different characters that they were imagining or just thinking out loud. Of course, children stop doing that around five or six to eight years old, somewhere in there. They don’t do that as much, especially if they think you’re watching. But I loved those days. So I got a lot out of them being able to play on their own too. I also got breaks, I got to do things I wanted to do and feel like they were doing something really positive.

    But we would also play things together. We had games. Some of them we made up on our own, some my children brought to me that they’d heard somewhere or someone else had played with them. All of these games are creative, they’re simple, they need almost no preparation and only minimal equipment, just household stuff, which I love. They’re unplugged, screen-free, non-board games that un-bore children, and they’re all about playing rather than producing something or winning or losing. Best of all for me, as a parent who is not crafty, they don’t cause big mistakes and mess-ups that disappoint everyone and make me look foolish because I didn’t inherit those crafty genes. There’s no product involved.

    Some of these games are more eccentric and originated in my family, and some of them are so odd that I really wondered why my kids enjoyed them so much. But these all generated giggles and fun, so I thought I would share them with you today.

    The first one is Sardines. Everybody’s probably played that before or heard of it. You need three players or more; the more, the squishier. And a two-year-old can play this, ages two to 102. As many of you know, this is a classic game of hide-and-seek, but it’s turned inside-out. Only one player hides, and then the others try to find him and secretly snuggle in next to him in his hiding spot. And then the last player to find the hiding spot opens a can of very giggly sardines. I’ve been that last person, it gets so quiet and you know you’re the last person. It’s really embarrassing because you know everyone’s having a good laugh at your expense. For a child that’s very young, it’s better to have them team up with someone so they’re not going hiding on their own. Kids love it, and it’s actually really fun for grown-ups too. So that’s a really fun one.

    Next: Folding Game. There are actually two different versions of this, but I’m going to talk about the one that’s, I would say, for ages four and up. What you need for this game is paper, just regular letter-size paper, and crayons or markers. I guess you could also do it with a pencil. Each player has a piece of paper that’s folded into thirds, or you could do it with quarters if you have four or more players. Each player draws on the paper that’s in front of them, at the top of the folded page. They draw a head and shoulders of any kind. It could be a person, an animal, a vegetable, a mineral, a monster, an alien, whatever. Just in that top folded section, that top third. And what they’ll do is then continue the shoulder lines, so the outside of the shoulders, very slightly so that it goes onto the next folded section, the second folded section, the middle section.

    So the next player can have those lines for guidance for what they’re going to draw, but they’re not going to see that first part at the top of the page. We each fold that part back, that head and neck and shoulders thing that we made, we fold that part back to hide what we’ve drawn and only expose the rest of the paper with just those little lines of guidance showing for the next person. I’ll share a picture of this in the transcript, so don’t panic if it’s not making sense.

    Then, each one of us passes our sheet of paper onto the next person, and then each of those players draws a midsection of any kind. It can include hands and arms, if this creation happens to have hands and arms, and they can be in any position. And from there, we’re going to continue those lines of the hips and maybe the tops of the legs very slightly into the bottom folded section. So there’ll be maybe two or four lines there, two for each leg. Those will be slightly coming down for the next person, who has the third section. And if you do this in four sections, you can have it be the head, the midsection, the hips to the knees, and then the knees to the feet. We’ve done it that way too, it’s pretty fun.

    Now we’re going to fold that part back too. So all the next person’s going to see on our paper is the bottom section with just these four little lines coming down at the very top of that section. All they’re getting is that. And then for this last round, everybody draws legs and feet, any kinds of legs and feet, or maybe it’s a mermaid and they have a tail. We just have fun with it. And really, even if somebody’s drawing stick legs, it still comes out cool, it’s amazing.

    Then we’re going to unfold and just enjoy our communal person or beast or thing, whatever it is, and maybe we’ll name it if we want to. This game, long hours of fun. There’s this great surprise at the end with what it looks like, it makes us all laugh. So that’s Folding Game.

    There’s another Folding Game that children have to be older to play, because they have to be able to read and write. In this game, at the very tippy-top of a piece of paper, as small as possible, you make a picture of anything. It could be a little star or a heart, an animal’s face, it could be a scribble, anything. You pass that to the next person. The next person looks at that and they think of a way to describe it, simply. Maybe they’re using an analogy, maybe they’re just titling it with a couple of words. And then what they’re going to do is fold down that picture. So now the top picture is hidden and I’m writing on top of it this description.

    And then the next person doesn’t unfold it and look at the picture that was under there, all they see is that description. Then they fold that description down, and on top make a picture that that description brings to mind. Anything, it could be totally random. And I’ll be sharing an image of this in the transcript as well. Now you pass that to the next person, and they make a description on top of that, folding it down a tiny bit, and no one’s looking at what’s underneath.

    That goes on and on and on until you get to the end of all the papers. And then you open it up and it is hilarious. It’s a hilarious adult game because it’s sort of like telephone, but much more visual. You see how something gets totally distorted and becomes something completely different because of people’s imagination. And you might end up with a description or you could end up with another picture, but it’s probably better to end up with a description at the end. So everyone stops there and then, Wow, does this describe that very first picture at all? No, it doesn’t.

    Third game, we made this one up: Close Your Eyes and Open Your Mouth. All this takes is a parent and one child or more, could be ages two to 102. And all we need here is some food. Players take turns closing their eyes while mom, dad, or a trusted older sibling brings tiny bites of various edible items. Nothing totally gross, that’s not fair. And the players have to guess, with their eyes closed, what they’re tasting. It’s sort of an exercise in trust as well, because you’re closing your eyes and you’re really hoping somebody doesn’t give you something that you don’t like at all. We try to be very kind. And of course it’s very tempting to take full advantage and put highly nutritious foods into our child’s mouth that we know that they don’t like. But I’ve found it’s really best to hold the cod liver oil and give samples that children can at least tolerate. So, Close Your Eyes and Open Your Mouth.

    Alright, next game: Copy. My kids turned me onto this. I did not think this one up and I never played it as a kid. Two or more players, ages three to 103. All you need is paper and crayons or markers. Now this one’s really, really simple, but my children have played it with me and with each other, better yet, for hours. So entertaining. Each child has a piece of paper and one child draws whatever they want to draw—a shape, a dot, a figure, whatever it is—anywhere on their paper. Then the other child tries to copy that. Then they pass the papers on, or to each other if they’re just two of them, and the other child or the parent tries to copy that onto their paper and then they add something more. So I’m going to make what you made as best I can, and I’m going to add something more. And then I’m going to pass it back to you, we’re going to pass it back to each other, and then we’re going to continue that idea: copying what that person added and adding a little more. This copying back and forth, back and forth continues until the children decide that they’re done. And it’s so interesting, you end up with two drawings that are similar but surprisingly different as well. So that’s Copy. I highly recommend it. 

    Charades. Many of you already play charades or you know what it is. We need at least two players (but the more, the merrier), small scraps of paper, and a pen or pencil. This game is a personal favorite of mine and in my family. I loved charades parties in my teens and twenties, so I wanted to introduce the concept to my children as soon as they were old enough to understand it. Younger children can begin by recognizing an image, so they don’t have to be able to read, and they can act out what it represents. There’s a board game— that isn’t sponsoring this podcast, I promise!— called Kids on Stage that has picture cards in three categories, either animals, actions, or objects. And children love to act them out. You saw a snake picture, so they’re trying to slither like a snake to make us guess that. And charades then became a favorite after-dinner party game when we’d have friends or family over. The younger ones, they need a little help. Sometimes they need a partner and they need a lot of encouragement at first, but soon everybody’s willing to go out on a limb, behave foolishly to try to help people guess that movie or book or famous person that they’re acting out. And the things we all do are so silly. There’s lots of laughter.

    Spice Girls. This is one that we made up, my daughters and I. You need one adult and one child or more, maybe one older child and one younger child. And then you need spices. This is a guessing game that’s kind of a variation on that food game, Close Your Eyes and Open Your Mouth. With this one, one person closes their eyes while the other one holds a spice jar under their nose. Then you have to try to distinguish the spice. Adults should really try this one too. It’s hard, and it’s interesting how some of the most commonly used spices have this really unappealing smell when you just smell them from the jar. Maybe other people know that, but I didn’t. Another sort of, I guess you’d call it educational game that’s actually really silly and fun.

    Next, scavenger hunt. Everybody knows what a scavenger hunt is, right? I just want to tell you a little about how I did them, because it was just such a great feeling to send my kids off knowing they’re going to learn a lot, that they’re having great social time if there’s more than one child, but they can do this on their own as well. They’re exploring environments, preferably outdoors, so they’re out in nature, maybe. For this you need at least one child, ages three to 103, and then we have to make the scavenger hunt. This does take some preparatory work for us, but it’s worth it because children get really, really into it. At least mine and their friends did. So it was always worth the trouble. And it was kind of fun to figure out for me too, I’ve got to admit it. I would resist sometimes at first mentally, but then I would embrace the challenge and it was really fun.

    We’re blessed to live in a semi-rural area, so we do have a nice, unmanicured yard. When I was prepping it, I would wander about, note colors and shapes and designs of leaves, things like that, small rocks, flowers. And I’d make a list that might include something like something purple, something that smells good, something that smells bad, something sharp, something soft. When my kids were pre-readers, I would just do it with pictures. I would draw little pictures of what it was, and they would try to match the picture with the real-life object and find it. These searches get much more complex as children get older, and then you can get really educational. You can include items like, I would say a piece of eucalyptus bark the length of your humerus or a live isopod crustacean, which is a roly-poly bug. I’d be really proud of myself for figuring those out. And then the hunt would always end up being this creative, educational, kind of rewarding for me too experience. It’s a good accomplishment.

    That’s been one of our all-time favorites. Of course, my kids haven’t asked for that kind of thing for years, unfortunately, so I’ll have to wait for possible grandchildren someday, and I can make scavenger hunts for them as well. You could also do this in the house, maybe just narrowing it down to one room where you do things, or in a park if you’re able to supervise little kids.

    Those were our mainstays. But other things my kids played and loved that really didn’t involve me much at all were we had all these scraps and weird dress-up clothing item-type things, hats and old stuff that we collected in a big box. And children would put them all together differently and make weird fashion shows and we’d have them walk the catwalk, pretend, and maybe I’d take a movie of it. They loved to do that, especially with friends over. My oldest daughter loved making up shows or she would do shows. I did this as a kid. We actually would sell tickets to our shows and all they were were us lip-syncing to Disney soundtracks. So you can get a soundtrack of a musical and have your kids just enjoy making a show to them.

    But those kinds of games, we can’t really say, Okay, this is what you’re going to do or This is what we’re going to do. It’s more about letting those happen, maybe giving our child the idea and then letting them take that idea and go with it, or not. Trusting. A lot of trust around play, that’s the key. The more trust we give children, the less we try to tell them what to do or how to do it, the more confidence they feel, the more freedom they feel, and the more joy they get out of this in so many areas. The way that it makes them feel like they’re creative people, that it makes them feel like their ideas can be a success. Those are the kind of messages we want to give children. Especially in the summer when we’ve got some looser time, hopefully. They can explore these kinds of things.

    Other board games that my kids liked: Well, all my kids went through a Candy Land phase when they were really little. Of course, you have to tie me down and ply me with something to play that, pretty much. I don’t know why kids love it. Well, I do know why kids love it, I think, because it’s this wonderful idea that we’re in a candy land and there’s all this candy. But when you play the game, you’re just looking at pictures of it and it’s kind of a boring game. But my kids did all like that, I have to say, that was a rough one.

    But the board games that I did like, besides Kids on Stage, Guess Who? I loved Guess Who? You could see how it’s teaching deductive reasoning, sort of the way that 20 Questions does, but it’s so much easier because the pictures are right in front of you. Does the person have dark hair? No. And now I can put away all these pictures of people with dark hair. It’s a very clever, simple game that I would almost always say yes to.

    And when I was a kid back in the stone ages, here’s some other things that we did. I have three sisters, so there were a lot of us, and one of the things we did that actually took a lot of time, and it was a game in itself, was we had all these different games and activities we could do and we would make a list of all of them, a lot of them we’d made up in the past, and then we would each get to vote. We would write down number one, number two, number three. What we wanted to do the most, the second-most, third-most, fourth-most, all the way to tenth or whatever it was. And then we would just add up the totals and whichever game had the lowest number, that’s what we would do. That kind of planning is so good for children. They learn so much, and it’s such a team-building exercise too. So I would consider all of this play. Anything the children engage in like that, you can be sure that they’re learning a ton.

    Another thing we did, my dad worked for this early kind of Xerox-type company, I don’t even know if they had Xerox back then. But he would come home with these huge sheets of paper, I guess now you could use poster board or maybe there’s a place you can buy huge sheets of paper. We would make drawings together. It wasn’t like Copy, that game that I brought up, it was when we were a bit older. We would have a scene, like, we’re in a park. That was all we would tell each other. And then each of us would make our own little scenes within the scene. I mean, we liked to draw, so it wasn’t such a stretch that way. None of us were great at drawing, but we really enjoyed it.

    Another thing we used to do is make scary stories where we’d have sound effects, and sometimes it’d be this music box that played this scary theme, or it could be thumping or screaming. We would make up a whole story and we would act it out on audio. I guess that’s for much older kids, but I remember that so well. All the fun we had doing that. Oh my gosh, so many laughs.

    I really hope some of these play ideas come in handy for you, or maybe they inspire your children to spin off their own ideas on them. I didn’t always want to play with my kids when they asked me, but honestly when I think about it, I never regretted saying yes. It was bonding, we created memories and rituals and family lore, and it was a way to carve time out of our busy lives and just focus on each other. So enjoy the games that your family’s into and consider the value and the added pleasure of doing less, enjoying more. As Magda Gerber said, keeping it simple. I hope you get to do that this summer. Carve out some time where you have no agenda except just hanging out. I really hope some of this helps.

    Thank you so much for listening. We can do this.

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    janet

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  • Things to Do in Asheville, NC

    Things to Do in Asheville, NC

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    In need of a perfect plan, packed with fun things to do in Asheville, NC, for your next family-friendly trip? We have you covered! Situated between the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Great Smoky Mountains, Asheville makes a beautiful day trip destination. But if you’re looking for something a little longer, there’s enough to do in Asheville to fill up a long weekend. This Guide to Asheville, NC will help you plan your trip!

    What Would You Like to Explore in Asheville, NC?

    Day Trips and Date Nights: Things to Do in Asheville, NC

    Asheville has a lot to offer families. These places make great day trip destinations in Asheville, NC. String a few together and you’ve got a mini-vacation!

    If you’re looking for more day trip ideas in the Asheville area, visit our Guide to Western North Carolina where you’ll find many more ideas!

    Western North Carolina Nature Center

    WNC Nature Center is a great place to spend the day with the family and learn about animals native to Western North Carolina! The nature center is home to foxes, black bears, cougars, a hellbender salamander, and more!

    WNC Nature Center
    75 Gashes Creek Road, Asheville, NC

    Cougar at the Western North Carolina Nature Center

    WNC Nature Center is so fun. We also LOVE eating at Farm Burger.

    Erin

    Biltmore Estate

    If you’d like to visit the Biltmore Estate, check out 10 Things You Must Do at Biltmore and if you’re visiting Biltmore with young children don’t miss Our Ultimate Guide to Visiting Biltmore Estates with Children. They have a fantastic historical walking tour.

    Biltmore Estates
    One Lodge Street, Asheville, NC

    Biltmore gardens in Asheville, North Carolina

    Mountain Play Lodge

    Mountain Play Lodge is an amazing indoor play space for kids and makes a perfect stop for your day trip to WNC.

    3389 Sweeten Creek Road Arden, NC
    828.676.2120

    View of indoor playground at Mountain Play Lodge in Asheville, North Carolina

    We’ll make a trip to visit Mountain Play Lodge and eat at Farm Burger

    Craig

    Asheville Adventure Park at Adventure Center of Asheville

    Ride KidZip, the first Zipline in the country built for kids ages 4 to 10. But don’t think this place is just for younger kids, there’s an adult zipline course, a climbing wall, and their Treetops Adventure Park, and more!

    1 Resort Drive
    Asheville, NC 28803
    828.225.2921

    asheville adventure park kidzip

    Asheville Pinball Museum

    This unique museum houses all things Pinball, and you can get to play the machines!

    1 Battle Square #1b, Asheville
    828.776.5671

    Asheville Pinball Museum! You pay to get in and play unlimited pinball (and some arcade) games. They have 80 machines

    Stephanie

    Asheville Retrocade

    Old school, retro games and you can play all day for one price.

    Asheville Retrocade

    800 Haywood Road, West Asheville, NC
    828.575.9488

    Splasheville at Pack Square Park

    Asheville’s only public splash pad is a very popular place to be in the heat of summer! It is the perfect place to cool off while visiting downtown.

    Pack Square, Downtown Asheville

    There’s a splash pad at pack square that was nice after walking around downtown.

    Allyson

    North Carolina Arboretum

    The North Carolina Arboretum is a beautiful place to spend a few hours. Enjoy the gorgeous flowers, plants, and fountains. Stroll through the Bonsai Garden, or watch the outdoor model train run through a garden village. The NC Arboretum is located just before the entrance to the Blue Ridge Parkway, so you can explore there once you leave.

    100 Frederick Law Olmsted Way, Asheville
    828.665.2492

    Bonsai tree display at the NC Arboretum

    NC Arboretum is a nice stop for sights/hikes.

    Glenn

    Zen Tubing

    Have a lazy day floating down the French Broad River with your family and enjoy cooling off with Zen Tubing in Asheville.

    Walking to the water with tubes

    French Broad Chocolate Factory Tour

    Find out how their chocolate is made, and even have a taste test, at the French Broad Chocolate Factory. Be sure to book your tour ahead of time.

    French Broad Chocolate Factory and Cafe
    821 Riverside Drive, Asheville, NC

    French Broad Chocolate Factory

    River Arts District and Asheville Art Museum

    It wouldn’t be a visit to Asheville if you didn’t embrace the art culture there. There are art galleries galore to explore, with tons of local and award-winning artist’s works on display.



    Winter Things to Do Near Asheville

    Winter activities in Asheville include skiing and snow tubing. Here are a couple of places where you can enjoy these winter sports and activities in Asheville.

    Appalachian Ski Mountain

    View of skis while skiing at Appalachian Ski Mountain

    Fall Season in Asheville

    We love corn mazes! Asheville is home to the Eliada Corn Maze where you can get lost in a corn maze, but also enjoy hay rides, cow train rides, a small hay bale maze, spider web play area, giant slides, corn cob guns, giant checkers game and more!

    Head to Asheville for a Fun Day at Eliada Corn Maze

    Fun activities on the farm at Elida Farms in Asheville, North Carolina

    Places to Eat: Things to Do in Asheville, NC

    Sierra Nevada Brewery

    Grab a great meal and a beverage at Sierra Nevada Brewery. It is kid friendly!

    100 Sierra Nevada Way, Mills River, NC
    828.681.5300

    Sierra Nevada Family friendly brewery

    Sierra Nevada has a great family area outdoors to play games and just hang out and their desserts are amazing

    Jordain

    Creekside Tap House

    Choose a table outside and watch the kids play on the playground and explore the neighboring creek while you enjoy a great burger and a beverage.

    8 Beverly Road, Asheville
    828.575.2880

    Creekside Tap house is the best with kids (back deck, play area, creek to wade in)

    Brianna

    Old Europe

    Perfect pastries and delicious coffee are what you’ll find at Asheville’s Old Europe.

    13 Broadway Street, Asheville
    828.255.5999

    Old Europe cafe in Asheville, North Carolina

    Old Europe is another great place. Desserts and coffee (plenty of gluten free and vegan options for allergies)

    Glenn

    Farm Burger

    Get tasty grass-fed beef burgers at Farm Burger, along with amazing fries and milkshakes.

    10 Patton Avenue, Asheville
    828.348.8540

    1831 Hendersonville Road, Asheville
    828.575.2393

    Buxton BBQ

    Local meat smoked in-house! What more can you ask for? Buxton has BBQ with all the sides you can imagine.

    32 Banks Avenue, Asheville
    828.232.7216

    Buxton BBQ is delicious and huge!

    Chelsey

    What are your favorite things in Asheville?

    Looking for more places to spend the day with your family? Here’s our list of Day Trip Towns that are just a short drive from the Upstate.


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  • This Is Why You SHOULD Take That Epic Moms’ Trip

    This Is Why You SHOULD Take That Epic Moms’ Trip

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    I just got back from another annual epic girls trip with a crew of smart, beautiful, incredible women-all of whom happen to also be teachers and moms. Even though we can’t remember exactly how many years we’ve racked up on our adventures, we know we need more than two hands to count them.

    We spend countless hours making up for the lost time of the school year, when schedules never seem to line up-a wall of sports schedules, meetings, drop offs and pickups, blocking our way from seeing each other with the regularity that our earlier years brought.

    Find yourself a group of mom friends. (Photo credit: Amy Keyes)

    We celebrate and support each other

    Our own kids, as well as the kids we teach, span a diverse range of ages. We have experienced moments in our lives that have redefined who we are and how we see the world. We share a stage in life in which we are simultaneously caring for younger and older generations-an endeavor that is emotionally charged in ways too hard to articulate.

    Together, we have fallen and risen up from unfathomable loss and celebrated incredible milestones both for our children and ourselves. Laughed so hard that we cried, and cried so hard that we laughed. Entered new decades and stages of life, side-by-side. We don’t take for granted how lucky we are to have found one another. And that is a gift in and of itself.

    Our time together is a balance of rediscovering ourselves in these middle years of life, as well as a time to share and grow together as moms, figuring out this journey of parenting. Each of these special women continuously have shown me so many ways to be a better mom, teacher, and person, and I hope to always soak in the lessons I learn from them time and again. This circle holds a lot of wisdom, both from the head and the heart.

    So to honor these moms who I continue to learn and grow with, here are some of the biggest things they have taught me over the years.

    Four lessons I’ve learned from my mom friends over the years

    1. Embrace the moment and say yes

    There is so much life to be lived. I’m so good at finding a reason to say no, overthink, and let my anxiety get in my own way of enjoying a world of things I don’t even know are out there. Trying new things is not my strongest suit, and I love being surrounded by women who take risks and look for adventure. Slowly, over the years, I am becoming more open to the unknown.

    I know when I embrace the mindset of “yes,” I’m also setting an example for my kids to try new things and open their minds and hearts to experiences that will shape the people they become.

    2. Even when we don’t realize it, our presence for others matters more than we know

    I just saw a meme that said how disappointed the Beastie Boys would be seeing how our generation goes to bed at 9pm after they fought so hard for our right to party. When I say 9pm is pushing it for me, I’m not kidding, but on these girls trips I somehow find a way to channel my youth and rally into the late hours. Truth be told, sometimes it’s to party but more importantly, it’s because we tend to talk into the late hours of the night.

    Old school slumber party vibes is when all of the real stuff comes out. In these middle years we have, and continue to face a lot. Whether it’s losing parents, repairing our aging bodies, sharing the ups and downs of teen parenting, or facing the emptiness of our kids leaving home, all of these things- big and small- can weigh heavy in the day to day.

    Even though we can’t always do it in real life as much as we want, the phone calls, texts, check-ins build a blanket of support that reminds each other that we are always present for one another. This loyalty and care for one another is another reminder not just for ourselves, but also for our kids, of how important friendship and presence is in life.

    3. Face life’s challenges with patience and grace

    Life is full of obstacles. As I get older, I realize more and more that how we face those challenges and respond to them, is what really matters. Sometimes I have a hard time making lemonade out of lemons, and being with this group of friends reminds me that there is so much light and learning to glean in moments of adversity.

    Some of the things that we have faced individually, and collectively, are of a depth that rivals the ocean. And, yet here we are. A little more beautifully scarred, but not at all broken. Finding the hope and the good in the toughest of situations is an example I want to keep setting for my kids as long as I’m here.

    4. Find the beauty in the journey of friendship

    If you’re lucky enough to cherish the gift of a friendship that spans decades, there is no doubt that you have seen it all side by side. One of the best gifts I have received from this group of friends is the knowledge that there is beauty in every step of the journey. We have learned to be teachers together. To be moms together. To be middle aged together (okay, some of us are still working our way there).

    We have walked life’s path of grief and resilience, and through it all, have known that there is an unconditional love that makes the beauty of friendship something beyond magic. No matter the destination, the journey is one we know we take together.

    It is my sincerest hope that this band of moms continues to nurture one another for life, and that our students and kids continue to see the incredible beauty that comes in the bonds we form with others.

    I only hope that everyone has the fortune of finding some moms who they can learn and grow with in life.

    More Great Reading:

    What We Can Learn from Childhood Friendships: I’ll Always Have Laura

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    Amy Keyes

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  • Will makes custom limbs that help kids do what they want to do

    Will makes custom limbs that help kids do what they want to do

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    By Louise Kinross

    When Will Goessaert was 12, he helped Holland Bloorview scientist Jan Andrysek test a new prosthetic knee designed to prevent falls. At the time, his old device might give out a few times a day, causing tumbles.

    Today he’s a prosthetics and orthotics technician making devices for clients at Holland Bloorview. And he doesn’t remember his childhood falls. “What really bugged me was when the leg would come apart—the foot would fall off or get bent backwards,” he says with a smile. “Your friends would think it was kind of funny if you’re in pants, and it looks like your leg is backwards.”

    Will, who was born with an above-knee amputation, says his experiences as a child at Holland Bloorview were positive. “I could always ask my clinician if I needed to figure out how to do something,” he says. “It might have been padding for football, or how to get hockey or baseball gear to fit.”

    Now Will is on the other side of the fence, making custom limbs and orthotics for kids. “The most fun is when a child comes to us and wants to achieve something—whether it’s run or play a sport or an instrument—and we can give them a device that helps them out with that,” he says. “As a child, having a well-fitting leg meant I was able to run around in comfort, and that was a huge deal for me.”

    Will says on a typical day he’s working on three to five devices in the lab. Clients may be born with a limb difference or acquire one through illness or accidents. “There are a lot of moving pieces and different stages to each prosthetic we make, because they’re all unique.” 

    Will initially consider being a nurse or paramedic. But when he had to find a high-school co-op job it was in the middle of SARS, and access to hospitals was limited. “I told my prosthetist here and he said ‘Why don’t you come work here? You already know more about this than I do.’ At the time I said: ‘That doesn’t make any sense.’ But now I understand he meant my lived experience.”

    Will did a high-school co-op and a summer internship here, then went to school at George Brown College to become a prosthetics and orthotics technician.

    Although he doesn’t have a lot of direct contact with children and youth in his job now, he does sometimes share practical advice. “A couple of weeks ago a clinician had a client who had some questions about driving I could help with,” he says. “I hope seeing me gives them some trust that I may have gone through some of the same things. Amputees get good at solving different problems.”

    Will says he didn’t experience a lot of challenges growing up. “I guess I got teased but I stood up for myself and it didn’t happen again,” he says. “I had really good friends, and I didn’t have any serious issues that still burden me today. As an amputee, there are things you have to overcome. I think ‘wanting to be normal’ is the biggest one. I thought I was more different than I was for a long time. Now I realize I’m the same as everyone else—I just have a couple of things that are different about my leg.”

    As a teen, Will was a competitive para skier. He says he loved the freedom of skiing on one ski. “It was the only para sport I did, and I liked competing against direct peers in the same category as me.”

    Will says his work brings him excitement and joy, and “sometimes a bit of sadness for kids who are in certain difficult situations.”

    Hanging out with his wife Elizabeth Dunphy, and his stepdaughter, Emilia, is the best stress relief, he says. Will met Elizabeth when they both began working in orthotics and prosthetics at the hospital during the pandemic. “There’s a lot of full-circle stuff for me at Holland Bloorview,” Will says. Elizabeth now works as an executive assistant in our Teaching and Learning Institute.

    Will and Elizabeth got married earlier this year and they recreated their “I do” moment at Holland Bloorview in May. CBC captured it in this story. The photo below was taken when Will was 12.

    Like this content? Sign up for our monthly BLOOM e-letter, follow @LouiseKinross on Twitter, or watch our A Family Like Mine video series.

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  • ASSE International Student Exchange Programs Invites American Families to Host an Exchange Student

    ASSE International Student Exchange Programs Invites American Families to Host an Exchange Student

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    Press Release


    Jul 3, 2024 07:00 PDT

    Share the Joy, Traditions and Stories of Your Holidays with a High School Student from Abroad

    ASSE International Student Exchange Programs (ASSE), a non-profit, public benefit organization, is inviting American families to discover the many rewards of hosting a foreign exchange student. 

    ASSE exchange students hail from more than 50 countries worldwide, including Italy, France, Spain, Brazil, and Thailand, among others. They are between the ages of 15 and 18, and they are eager to experience American culture, family life, school, sports, and more. They also enjoy sharing their own culture and language with their host families, who open their homes to them as if they were members of their own families. This provides everyone involved with a rich cultural experience. 

    Host families can be single parents, couples, or single people. Exchange students arrive with pocket money for personal expenses and full health, accident, and liability insurance. ASSE students are chosen based on their academic and personal qualities, and host families choose their students from a wide range of backgrounds, nations, and interests. 

    Those interested in hosting an exchange student this fall should contact Saphia Lesch at 1-800-736-1760, visit www.asse.com, or send an email to asseusamidwest@asse.com to learn more or begin the application process. Students are eager to learn about their American host family, so start the process of welcoming your new son or daughter today. The memories and the friendships you create with your exchange student will be cherished forever.

    Source: ASSE International Student Exchange Programs

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  • I Thought We Would Be Friends Forever, it Hurts So Much That I Was Wrong

    I Thought We Would Be Friends Forever, it Hurts So Much That I Was Wrong

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    Lisa is typing

    For the past 20 plus years, my life has been full of fun. Admittedly, much of this fun was the result of having kids. We met other families and made friends with people because our kids were friendly with their kids.

    “Can we have dinner with Bobby’s parents?” Can Skyler sleep over?” “Is it ok if Charlie comes with us to the park?”

    These kinds of asks were just the beginning of a beautiful season-one where friends became chosen family-truly! We welcomed other kids into our home regularly. We had great nights out with kids and parents together, and we created lasting friendships.

    Or so I thought. But, where are all my friends now?

    Where are all my friends now? (Photo credit: Jacqueline Graham)

    We used to meet other families at the beach, park, dinner or at concerts

    My kids are grown and out of the house-the empty nest season is suddenly upon us and I wonder-where are all those parents who were so happy to join us for dinner at the Mexican restaurant. They were delighted to meet us at the community pool for a BBQ or hang out with us at the beach/park/concert.

    I was happy to be the planner. For years, I was the one to get things organized. I planned beach days for large groups, including parents and siblings. I planned pool days and BBQs. I planned get-togethers at the park, bowling outings and trips to amusement parks.

    And, I loved it. Not everything was a big deal- sometimes it was just an afternoon at the local park with friends. Sometimes it was a fancy graduation party.

    Maybe I was the glue that held our group of friends together

    But I guess maybe I was the glue? Maybe I’m the one who kept it all together.

    What happened to everyone?

    The kids went their separate ways to college, but we parents still live close by. Was it a pretend friendship? Do we not have enough to keep it going without our kids around? Was it just a friendship for that season in life and now that the season has passed so has the friendship? I really don’t know.

    I feel wistful. But, I also feel tired. The party planner in me sometimes thinks that I could do it again. I could create an event and I’m sure people would come. But then I think that maybe someone else could try for a change? Maybe, if it was important enough to them, someone else would pick up the reins and try organizing something.

    It doesn’t feel good to always have to be the planner

    If everyone is still waiting for me to plan stuff, they may be disappointed. Because, to be honest, it doesn’t feel good to never be invited; to always be the one doing the inviting. It would be nice if someone else organized something fun. It would be nice, for a change, to be the one asking “What should we bring?”

    I guess for now, I’ll still wait and see what happens to those friends.

    More Great Reading:

    I Don’t Fit In With the Parents of My Teen’s Friends

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    Jacqueline Graham

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  • Where to Cuddle & Play with Goats Near Greenville

    Where to Cuddle & Play with Goats Near Greenville

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    Do you love goats and want to see and/or play with them around the Upstate, SC? Lucky for you, if you’re looking for goat farms near Greenville, SC to visit, Kristina is sharing where to play with them. 

    This story is a long time coming. We should have written a kidding around with goats in Greenville a long time ago but whatever, today’s the day. There are few things I love more than goats, especially baby goats. Obsessed may be accurate. They are so darn cute and cuddly and playful and they make me ridiculously happy. I hope, that since you’re reading this story, you agree. 

    Let’s stop kidding around and get to the list. 

    Baby goats at Carl Sandburg House
    Playing with goats at Carl Sandburg Home

    Where to See & Play with Goats in or near the Upstate

    Split Creek Farm

    Not only will you get to see baby goats and little goats and a whole herd full of amazing goats, but Split Creek Farm is an award-winning goat dairy farm which means they also sell delicious goat cheese and goat fudge. Don’t leave there without getting some. In the spring, they have an event where you can play with baby goats called Spring Means Babies. You are welcome to visit the farm to see the goats all year and self-guided tours are available Friday and Saturday 10 am – 6 pm. The farm store is open Monday-Saturday 10 am – 6 pm and is where you can buy goat milk products. There is no admission charge. No pets allowed.

    3806 Centerville Road, Anderson
    864.287.3921
    Split Creek Farm Website

    Playing with goats at Split Creek Farm
    Split Creek Farms Goats

    Ballyhoo Petting Zoo

    Ballyhoo Petting Zoo Website is the Upstate’s only dedicated petting zoo and they have a lot of animals, including goats! The owners are really kind as well and they often have family-friendly events to enjoy. They are open Thursday through Saturday from 10 am to 6 pm and Sundays from 1 pm to 6 pm. Tickets are $10/adults, $9/Seniors & students, $8/kids, free for ages 2 and under. Ballyhoo Petting Zoo also offers memberships starting at $48.

    849 Norris Road, Anderson
    706.436.7249
    Ballyhoo Petting Zoo Website

    Carl Sandburg Estate

    You can play with the goats at the estate for free and some months during the year, they have events where you can read to the goats, which is adorable. I love this place because if I need a quick goat fix, they are always open and it’s an easy drive up to Flat Rock. In the spring, there are baby goats! Plus at the Carl Sandburg Estate Website, you’ll also find hiking trails to enjoy, a fish pond, and so much more. There is no admission charge to the estate, goat barn, or hiking trails.

    81 Carl Sandburg Lane, Flat Rock, NC
    828.693.4178
    Carl Sandburg Estate Website

    Lucky Acres Farm

    Lucky Acres alpaca farm has goats and chickens. Gloria, the owner, makes hats, scarves, mittens, and blankets from the alpacas fleece and gives great tours on the property. When I was there, Gloria had fainting goats, which basically pass out as a defense mechanism. None of us scared them apparently since they remained on all fours. Tours are free but donations are accepted. You will want to call ahead.

    1024 Milford Road, Townville, SC
    864.287.2339 
    Lucky Acres Farm Website

    Red Clay Soap

    Red Clay Soap in Travelers Rest makes soap from the milk of the goats raised on the farm. They offer field trips, events on the farm, and “goats to go”, which is a party package where the farm brings goats to you. Honestly, I don’t even need a party. I just want them to bring goats to me. 

    2310 Tigerville Rd., Travelers Rest
    864.834.9317
    Red Clay Soap Website

    Hidden Pastures Farm

    While primarily known as a unicorn farm, Hidden Pastures in Fountain Inn also has baby bunnies, goats, and chicks. They are open Saturday and Sunday only from 11 am to 4 pm. Admission is $12/person, under 2 are free. 

    245 Little Virginia Road, Fountain Inn, SC
    864.477.9284
    Hidden Pastures Farm Website

    Winchester Creek Farm 

    A beautiful drive from Greenville through the mountains to Waynesville in Western, NC, this farm has alpacas and lots of miniature animals like horses, cows, and donkeys – and goats! They let us play with the baby goats when we were there last and it was great. You can feed and interact with some of the animals. Tours are by appointment only and tickets are $15/adults and teens over age 13, $13/ kids 3-12, kids under 3 free. Seniors, Active Duty Military, and Law Enforcement Personnel tickets are $13.

    386 Walker Road, Waynesville, NC
    828.246.9486
    Winchester Creek Farm Website

    Petting baby goats at Winchester Creek Farm

    Antler Hill Village at the Biltmore

    This is the furthest, and most expensive, place to see goats on our list. The goats are at the farm at Antler Hill Village, which is included in your admission to the beautiful Biltmore Estate Website. Admission starts around $80. Children are free over the summer with an adult ticket.

    One Lodge Street, Asheville, NC
    800.411.3812
    Antler Hill Village at the Biltmore Website

    What are your favorite goat farms near Greenville, SC to visit?

    Petting zoos and farms in Greenville, SC


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    Kristina Hernandez

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  • 8 Road Trip Safety Tips for ADHD Drivers

    8 Road Trip Safety Tips for ADHD Drivers

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    Gearing up for a road trip this summer? Stay safe behind the wheel with these road trip safety tips for remaining alert and distraction-free for miles and miles.

    ROADTRIP: 8 Road Trip Safety Tips

    Review it: Map your route ahead of time, taking note of tolls, planned road work, and other happenings that may impact your travel. While GPS is very helpful, a general understanding of your planned path improves your ability to adjust quickly to possible reroutes and other shifts that may be needed.

    Give yourself more time than you think across your road trip and be realistic about the activities you can undertake along the way. By allowing plenty of time for your trip, you’ll avoid the temptation to rush, speed, and ignore details that could be important as you navigate the roads. You’ll also be able to stop for breaks to stretch, move, eat, and rest until the next leg of your drive.

    Out of reach: Put cell phones and other potentially distracting items in secure places that are out of sight and out of your reach to reduce distractions.

    Air it out: Turn on air conditioning or roll down the windows to keep cold air flowing inside the vehicle. Avoid warm temperatures that can make you feel drowsy.

    [Read: “I’m Too Distracted When I Drive”]

    Dine right: Stay away from sugary and salty junk food or jolts of caffeine when road-tripping, as you may feel sleepy when their effects crash out of your system. To maintain steady energy levels, hydrate with cold water (which will also help keep you alert) and eat small, energy-boosting snacks such as nuts, popcorn, seeds, bananas, kale, hummus, spinach, lean meats, dark chocolate, or whole grain cereal before you hit the road.

    Track your eyes: Stay focused, especially on long stretches of road, by shifting your eyes every few seconds to scan the roadway or check your mirrors. Consistent eye movements increase alertness and awareness of surroundings while also avoiding the trance-like state that can occur over the monotonous interstate miles.

    Revitalize: Give your brain sensory stimulation with gum or essential oils. Chewing refreshing mint gum can increase alertness and keep you from continually reaching for a snack while driving. Smelling invigorating scents such as peppermint can trigger the brain for alertness and focus.

    Insert reminders: Set reminders to refuel, hydrate, and take bathroom and movement breaks. Consider programming location-based reminders to go off as you approach gas stations, service areas, and even touristy spots you don’t want to miss.

    [Read: Road Trip Hacks for (and from) ADHD Families]

    Prep before you go: Make sure you’ve adjusted your mirrors, seat, and car temperature before you hit the gas. Have a pre-made music playlist (so you won’t be tempted to look at screens to search for the right song) and consider adding upbeat tunes that keep you alert.

    Road Trip Safety Tips: Next Steps


    SUPPORT ADDITUDE
    Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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  • Top 100 Vampire Last Names With Meaning And Origin!

    Top 100 Vampire Last Names With Meaning And Origin!

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    The world of vampires has long captivated human imagination, conjuring images of enigmatic beings who walk the night. Vampire last names often carry an aura of mystery, power, and ancient lineage. Thus, here are 100 vampire surname ideas for you!

     

    About Vampire Surnames

    vampire last names

    Vampire surnames are often imbued with an aura of antiquity and darkness, reflecting the eternal nature of these mythical beings. These names can be derived from various sources, including historical figures, ancient languages, and dark folklore.

    They often hint at power, immortality, and a connection to the supernatural. Understanding the meanings and origins of these surnames can provide deeper insight into the characters and stories within vampire lore.

     

    Popular Vampire Last Names

    • Dracula – Derived from the Romanian word “drac,” meaning dragon or devil; famously associated with Vlad the Impaler.
    • Tepes – Romanian for “impaler,” a nickname for Vlad III.
    • Nosferatu – Of uncertain origin, often associated with the Romanian term for vampire.
    • Orlok – Named after Count Orlok in the film “Nosferatu.”
    • Alucard – Reverse spelling of Dracula, popularized in various vampire fiction.
    • Bathory – From Elizabeth Bathory, a notorious Hungarian countess.
    • Cullen – Made famous by the “Twilight” series, of Irish origin meaning “handsome.”
    • De Ville – French origin, meaning “of the town.”
    • Sanguine – Latin origin, meaning “blood.”
    • Moroi – Romanian folklore, referring to a type of vampire.
    • Salvatore – Italian origin, meaning “savior,” from “The Vampire Diaries.”
    • Lestat – Created by Anne Rice, no specific origin.
    • Duval – French origin, meaning “of the valley.”
    • Strigoi – Romanian origin, referring to troubled spirits rising from the grave.
    • Stoker – After Bram Stoker, author of “Dracula.”
    • Raven – Symbolic of darkness and mystery.
    • Varney – From “Varney the Vampire,” a Victorian-era gothic horror story.
    • Blackwood – English origin, suggesting dark forests or woods.
    • Vladislav – Slavic origin, meaning “glorious ruler.”
    • Eclipse – Symbolic of darkness and hidden power. Source

     

    Cool Vampire Last Names

    coolcool

    • Nightshade – Refers to a family of poisonous plants, hinting at danger and mystery.
    • Grimm – German origin, meaning “fierce” or “grim.”
    • Shadowalker – Evocative of moving through shadows.
    • Bloodworth – English origin, suggesting a place associated with blood.
    • Helsing – From Van Helsing, the famous vampire hunter.
    • Darkholme – Suggestive of a dark home or origin.
    • Ravenwood – Combines the dark symbolism of ravens with the mystique of woods.
    • Nocturne – Latin origin, meaning “of the night.”
    • Vesper – Latin origin, meaning “evening star.”
    • Nightwing – Suggestive of nocturnal flight.
    • Moonstone – A gemstone associated with the moon, implying a connection to the night.
    • Ashford – English origin, meaning “ash tree ford,” with a dark twist.
    • Crowley – Irish origin, possibly meaning “hardy” or “descendant of the hard-haired one.”
    • Blacksoul – Implies a dark or tainted soul.
    • Sinclair – French origin, meaning “from the saint’s clair (clear) or illustrious one.”
    • Graves – English origin, suggesting a place of burial.
    • Blackthorn – A type of dark, thorny bush.
    • Stormrider – Suggestive of one who rides the storm.
    • Whisper – Implies quiet, secretive nature.
    • Darkwind – Evocative of a mysterious, dark breeze. Source

     

    Gothic Vampire Last Names

    • Ravenscroft – English origin, meaning “raven’s nest.”
    • Graven – Related to grave or carved in stone.
    • Hex – Germanic origin, meaning “witch.”
    • Drake – English origin, meaning “dragon” or “male duck.”
    • Bloodmoon – Refers to a lunar eclipse where the moon appears red.
    • Nightbane – Suggestive of one who brings harm in the night.
    • Darkheart – Implies a sinister or evil heart.
    • Silverfang – Suggestive of sharp, silver fangs.
    • Shadowblood – Evokes images of blood in darkness.
    • Grimstone – Combines “grim” and “stone,” suggesting a harsh, immovable presence.
    • Mournblade – Evocative of a weapon associated with mourning.
    • Ravenwood – Again, symbolic of dark forests filled with ravens.
    • Darkmore – Suggestive of more darkness.
    • Thorne – Refers to a sharp, pointed part of a plant, often associated with protection and pain.
    • Morbid – Latin origin, meaning “diseased” or “unhealthy.”
    • Obsidian – A dark, volcanic glass.
    • Dread – Implies fear or apprehension.
    • Vengeance – Suggestive of revenge.
    • Cryptkeeper – Implies guardianship of crypts.
    • Ebonshade – Evokes the image of deep, dark shadows.

     

    Some More Vampire Last Names

    • Von Carstein
    • Black
    • Hallow
    • Mordecai
    • Shade
    • Wolfbane
    • Gore
    • Darkov
    • Luna
    • Blackfire
    • Vein
    • Silverlight
    • Vladimirov
    • Darkwater
    • Grimoire
    • Sable
    • Nightfall
    • Ravenclaw
    • Hollow
    • Nighthawk
    • Fang
    • Gloom
    • Abyss
    • Darkblade
    • Venom
    • Shade
    • Eclipse
    • Sable
    • Omen
    • Nightwalker
    • Dreadful
    • Gore
    • Nightbringer
    • Doom
    • Death
    • Umbra
    • Gloom
    • Myst
    • Thorne
    • Noir

     

    Summary!

    Vampire last names carry an incredible depth of meaning and history, often tied to the dark and mystical elements of their lore.

    From names rooted in historical figures and ancient languages to those imbued with gothic and supernatural connotations. We hope you enjoyed this article!

    Also Read: Top 90 June Baby Names With Meanings!

    Tinydale is on YouTube, Click here to subscribe for the latest videos and updates.

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    Sneha Talwar

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  • I Worry That We’ve Treated Our Son Like a Kid for Too Long

    I Worry That We’ve Treated Our Son Like a Kid for Too Long

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    My 17-year-old son and I just had a heart to heart. The kind I’ve been craving. Wishing for. The kind that’s full of raw emotion. Real feelings. The kind that reminds me of the way we used to talk back in the day. When he was young and uninhibited. And not on the edge of adulthood.

    The kind that broke my heart a little – okay a lot- as I held up a mirror to the reflection that he sees in me as a parent. So different from the one that I think is staring back.

    I had a powerful heart to heart with my teen. (Photo credit: Amy Keyes)

    My son has always had an old soul

    My son is a rule follower. He is academically and athletically driven. Brainy in a way I never was. Competitive in a way I never will be. He goes about his business working hard at everything he does, with what seems like very little help from me. You know the type-the old soul who has always seemed like someone you would be going out to dinner with rather than driving him to track practice. The type of kid you forget is a kid because he is so independent and self-driven.

    He spends most of his time out. At sports practices. Work. Friends’ houses. Seemingly anywhere else but here. And when he is home, I often feel like I’m trying to get to know this young man, who used to be my little baby, and has quickly grown into this person about to leave home.

    I think I’ve done a pretty good job as a mom

    Over these teen years, I’ve tried to ask the right questions. Show the right support. Remind him that I’m here without being TOO here. Remembering full well what went on in my youth and trying to make sure he doesn’t feel like he has to navigate his own without being forthright and honest about things.

    In a nutshell, I felt like I’ve done a pretty good job.

    My son’s perception of my parenting is not aligned with my reality

    A good friend once told me that perception is reality, and tonight I discovered that his perception of my parenting is not aligned with my reality. When I boil it down, it’s nothing new. I was the same way – I wanted to maintain my independence and feel like I had some pieces of my life that were just mine, and my parents wanted to know more than I wanted to give.

    The difference was that I didn’t always make the same positive choices that he does, so he feels like my questions take away every bit of making anything his own. That part I understand and empathize with-I mean, I’m now on the flip side, doing the parenting, but it makes sense to me nonetheless.

    The pill that was a little harder to swallow was when he told me he’s not feeling super prepared to be an adult. Not ready to go off into the world and feel confident that he can do it. Feeling frustrated that we’ve treated him like a kid for too long, but also realizing that he has the privilege to be one because he doesn’t have to grow up too fast.

    My conversation with my son left me thinking how I can approach this year with him differently

    It was a conversation that left me thinking about so many things. Like, generational patterns of things we learn…or don’t. What we choose to carry forward from what our parents taught us, and what we choose to abandon for something different in the way we raise our own children.

    How to tip the scale of everything- physically, mentally, emotionally-into balance so that our kids feel like they can become their own people and also so that we, as parents, can remind them that they are not quite yet adults and still need us.

    It left me thinking about the last few years and how its impact is still leaving its mark on everyone-parents and kids alike. How the shells we built around ourselves as a society may still not be fully cracked open. The restrictions that we set, based around fears that we had, still sealing up some of the social spaces of the past few years.

    Mostly, it left me thinking about how I can approach this year with him differently. How my heart can get past the tear that his truth opened up in my own parenting confidence. How I can own the words that are his reality and help make sure that I am doing what is in my power to help him build the fortitude and courage to walk out of this house next summer feeling ready.

    I will be more intentional about making my son feel more adult

    He knows I will never stop asking. Never stop wanting to know where he is, who he’s with- worrying until he’s safely back home. But, now I will be more conscious of what I’m asking- and how. I will be more intentional about taking this year to build in the things that will make him feel more adult than not, and work hard to give him the space he needs to stumble and grow from the choices he’s making.

    These teen to adult years have been sparse in the heart to heart department. I’m learning that with each one, I can glean a pearl of wisdom in the oyster of parenting to help me better understand what my kid is going through.

    And over time, maybe I’ll look back in that mirror and see the same reflection that he does.

    More Great Reading:

    At 15 I Hold Onto the Boy but Also the Emerging Young Man

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    Amy Keyes

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  • Midlife Crisis: This Life is Not One I Could Have Imagined

    Midlife Crisis: This Life is Not One I Could Have Imagined

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    Almost twenty-five years ago, I graduated from law school and became an attorney. I was young and newly married without kids. As a little girl, I had always dreamed of growing up and becoming a professional woman in the working world—after all, my mother was a successful physician and I felt like I had to follow in her footsteps by building a meaningful career.

    I had the best laid plans, and they definitely included achieving significant things in my chosen profession. But they also included being a mom.

    I was determined to have both career and family. (Photo credit: Holli Clayton)

    I was determined to make motherhood and my career work

    Just two years after I began my career as a lawyer, I had my first daughter. I continued to work, but I’m not going to lie, it was tough. I remember being in the middle of meeting with a client when I received a call to pick up my daughter from day care because she had fever. After leaving work abruptly to take my daughter the doctor, I stood in line at Walgreens to pick up a prescription with a screaming infant in my arms—while at the same time holding a cell phone to my ear, trying to participate in the closing of a million-dollar business deal. Nevertheless, I was determined to make motherhood and my career work, so I soldiered on.

    Twenty-one months after my oldest daughter was born, I had my son. Once again, I attempted to continue working. What ensued was a grueling struggle to balance my job as a lawyer and my job as a mom. I really wanted to give 100% to both, but felt like I was only giving half of myself to each.

    I decided to give up my job and stay at home with my children

    I felt like I was failing both my clients and my kids. So ultimately, I made the very personal decision to be a stay-at-home mom.

    Fast forward to 2021. After many years of being at home with my kids, my oldest daughter graduated from high school and headed to college, and my son was set to do the same thing the very next year. I also had a younger daughter at home (she was turning 11), but it felt like time was flying and that she would soon be grown and gone, too.

    The pandemic had been very isolating, and I’d had a lot of time to really stop and think about my changing role as a mother. My identity as I had once known it—being a mom and taking care of kids full-time—was fading away and becoming replaced by something that felt very unnerving. 

    I worried about what life would look like after my teens left home

    That’s when the scary question popped into my head. What was my life going to look like when I had an empty nest?

    I hadn’t worked in years, and I certainly wasn’t getting any younger. Mid-life had indeed presented a crisis. I had never planned to become a full-time stay-at-home mom, although I was very glad that I did. And at the same time, I also felt that I had missed out on something: using my skills in the working world. 

    After all, I had studied hard. I went to law school and passed the bar and got a job as a municipal bond attorney. I once had meetings with clients and projects and duties that I actually received a paycheck for. There was an empty place in my heart that still longed to have a career and I needed to fill it.

    So one day, I told my husband that I was going back to school to get my Master’s Degree in Social Work (my undergraduate degree was in psychology, so this made sense). At first, he looked at me like I was crazy but he was extremely supportive, and, long story short, I took the plunge. I applied to graduate school at the age of 45 and—drum roll—I got in! 

    I graduated with my MSW and became a licensed master social worker

    Fast forward to 2024. After three long years of going to class and studying and writing papers and taking exams once again, I officially graduated with my MSW and became a licensed master social worker. It was quite an interesting journey. I was one of very few students in their late 40s and beyond who were married with a family, trying to complete a program alongside more “traditional” students who were in their 20s, close to the age of my own grown children.

    I learned a lot about myself through this. I sat at softball fields and in basketball bleachers and outside of my kids’ tutoring sessions and attended parents’ weekends at my kids’ colleges with my AirPods in, dutifully joining Zoom meetings for many of my graduate school courses. I holed up in my home office doing countless hours of research and writing for lengthy assignments.

    I also did 900 hours of internship work—all while continuing to take care of my family and manage my changing role as a wife and mother to two young adults and a pre-teen. It certainly wasn’t easy, but I did it. 

    Making a comeback in the working world has energized me

    Today, I’m proud to say that I’m loving my “encore” career. Making a comeback to the working world has energized me. I’m working with individuals, families, and groups as a licensed therapist, and it has truly brought me back to life. I’m currently in the process of developing evidence-based curriculums that I hope can help women with different life transitions, like coping with the many changes that come about when your kids leave the nest. 

    My kids are proud of me. My husband is proud of me. But, most of all, I am proud of me.

    So here is my message: if you want to make a transition back into the working world when your kids begin to grow and go, know that you absolutely can do it.

    More Great Reading:

    Stay-At-Home Mom: This is the Reason I Have No Regrets

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    Holli Fawcett Clayton

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  • Pigtails & Crewcuts- Five Forks is the Best Place for a Haircut

    Pigtails & Crewcuts- Five Forks is the Best Place for a Haircut

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    Pigtails & Crewcuts Haircuts for Kids- Five Forks offers much more than a haircut. Their attention to detail, inviting atmosphere, and helpful stylists remove the stress out of getting your child’s haircut. Plus, what kid doesn’t want to sit in a tiny airplane or train engine while getting their new ‘do! We were invited to the Five Forks location so you will know what to expect during your next visit to Pigtails & Crewcuts. Thank you to Pigtails & Crewcuts for sponsoring this article!

    Our Experience at Pigtails & Crewcuts- Five Forks

    We all know that getting your kid’s hair cut, especially if it is their first few times, can be overwhelming for most children. The staff at Pigtails & Crewcuts at Five Forks go above and beyond to ensure that each child feels safe and comfortable while in the stylist’s chair. We took our two-year-old for a trim, something that has been quite emotional for her in the past. However, our stylist Lexy, made the experience effortless! 

    When we arrived, Lexy had my two-year-old decide which of the awesome chairs she would like to sit in, and she b-lined to the model airplane. There are 5 unique chairs to choose from, including a train engine, fire engine, police car, racecar, and an airplane. There are also a couple of regular barber chairs to accommodate older children. 

    Child in airplane for a haircut at Pigtails & Crewcuts - Five Forks

    Beginning the Haircut

    Lexy then engaged in conversation with her, making her feel at ease before gently spritzing her hair and beginning to cut based on what we were looking for. She even gave me some helpful tips on dealing with her fine yet curly hair texture. Lexy truly loves her job and says that her most favorite thing about working with kids is “watching them grow up. [I’ve] been here for seven years now so I have seen some go from kindergarten to middle school.” 

    My daughter was so distracted by the magnetic toys, Frozen playing, and the airplane chair that before we knew it, our haircut was complete! Our stylist even platted her hair in two pig tail braids before we left the chair. She was then able to pick a small toy from the treasure box.

    Young girl getting a haircut at Pigtails & Crewcuts -Five Forks

    A+ Effort While Working With Children

    The staff are also comfortable working with children with sensitivities, developmental challenges, medical challenges, and children who may have difficulties getting a haircut. Lexy, who has a lot of personal experience working with children on the autism spectrum, knows all the tricks for working through the process, saying the staff “try to pull out all the tricks and all the things by gently approaching and letting them get used to the environment.” 

    The studio provides “tons of accommodations. Whatever we got to do to get it done” while promoting a calm and relaxing environment. Parents are even welcome to bring their child in and just spend some time there, hanging out in the playroom at the back of the studio, and getting adjusted before their first haircut.

    My Personal Opinion Of Pigtails & Crewcuts at Five Forks

    Overall, our personal experience was fantastic! Their staff was so gentle and kind to my two-year-old daughter, and they took their time to ask questions from me about what I wanted to see in her haircut. Our stylist was able to do everything so seamlessly, and my daughter was happy the entire trip. The shop is super clean, is adorably decorated, and I absolutely love the chairs! I would highly recommend this haircut studio to all families.

    What Types of Haircut Packages Do They Offer?

    Pigtails & Crewcuts- Five Forks offers several packages to choose from, including:

    • Kids Cut: This is the basic haircut package for both boys and girls. Prices start at $24.95.
    • 1st Haircut Package: The 1st haircut is always a big deal, and Pigtails & Crewcuts will help make it a special experience. Your child will even get their picture hung on the 1st Haircut Wall, what an honor! Prices start at $29.95.
    • Bang Cut: Looking to shape up your child’s bangs and get them out of their eyes, then this package is for you. 
    • Dad’s Cut or Mom’s Cut: You might as well shape up your own ‘do while your little one gets a cut. The studio offers cuts for Mom’s and Dad’s!
    • Detangling: In need of some TLC for your kid’s tangled hair. The stylists can help gently remove those tangles to improve hair health.
    • Fairyhair: Add a little sparkle to your kid’s hair with Fairyhair, we promise they will love it!
    • Neck Trim: Short hair shape up? Get a neck trim to keep it sleek.
    • Up-Do/Style: Have a special occasion where your kid needs to look a little more spiffy? The stylists can create a stylish hairstyle or up-do for your kid.
    Picking a prize from the treasure chest at Pigtails & Crewcuts Haircuts for Kids - Five Forks

    Making an Appointment With Pigtails & Crewcuts – Five Forks

    To book an appointment with Pigtails & Crewcuts, you will need to make an account on the Pigtails & Crewcuts online portal. Making an account is super easy, and allows you to choose the the type of appointment your child needs and the stylist you would like to book with. Once your stylist is chosen, you are shown available times based on your preferred date. Once booked, you will receive reminder emails, so you do not have to worry about accidentally missing your appointment thanks to their built-in reminder system!

    Pigtails & Crewcuts Haircuts for Kids- Five Forks
    Pigtails & Crewcuts Haircuts for Kids-Five Forks Facebook
    2815 Woodruff Road, Suite 105, Simpsonville, SC
    fiveforks@pigtailsandcrewcuts.com
    864.626.3338

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    Erin Gorges

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  • I Stayed Home With My Kids and Now I Regret It

    I Stayed Home With My Kids and Now I Regret It

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    The most expensive decision of my life I made alone. There was no realtor, no car dealer and no travel agent when I chose to leave the paid workforce and become a stay-at-home mom. There was just me looking at my husband, my children (both those inside and outside of my body) and the chaos that was our lives.

    At no point did I calculate the lifetime impact of diminished earnings and prospects.

    I looked at the year we were in and the following year, and I bolted. No part of my brain sat itself down and thought, what is the price both in this year’s dollars and my lifetime earnings, to leaving the workforce, and is it a decision that a decade or two from now I might regret?

    At no point did I examine the non-monetary cost which would loom just as large. I just looked at the lives we were leading: two demanding careers, two small children and a third on the way, resulting in two adults feeling hopelessly out of control.

    I stayed at home with my kids because I wanted to but there are many reasons why I regret that decision. (Shutterstock fizkes)

    One day I was on the trade floor and the next I was on the playroom floor and became a housewife

    One day I was working on the massive trading floor of a London bank, the next I was on the floor of my children’s playroom. And while it meant I would forgo this month’s paycheck and the next, not once did I think of what the job market would look like for me once these small children were launched into their school lives and then their own lives. And therein lies my most expensive mistake.

    I stayed home with my kids because I wanted to be with them. I had a job that allowed me very little time with them on weekdays and I felt our time was short. I left before they woke up in the morning and came home to children who had eaten dinner and were bathed and in their pajamas. I often wondered who was raising them. I did not stay home because I believed they needed me or that the nanny I had hired could not do a great job.

    Now, on the downslope of parenting, I have misgivings about my decision to stay home. It would be far too strong a word to say I have regrets. I don’t know any parent who regrets time spent with their kids, especially kids who have moved on to their own lives. Although I am fully aware that being a stay-at-home parent was certainly a luxury, staring at an empty nest and very diminished prospects of employment, I have real remorse.

    Here are the regrets I have about staying home with my kids

    1. My world became very narrow

    During the years at home with my children I  made the most wonderful friends, women I hope to know all of my life.  But living in the suburbs among women of shockingly similar backgrounds, interests and aspirations, narrowed the scope of people with whom I interacted.  In the workplace my contacts and friends included both genders and people of every description, and I was better for it.

    2. My husband and I slipped into a more traditional marriage

    Before I quit working, my husband and I did the same job. We left in the morning together and came home together to stare at each other and at our small children through a blinding haze of exhaustion. In every way my husband sees me as his equal but in the years that I have been a housewife, our partnership has developed a faint 1950’s whiff. He doesn’t ask me to run to the dry cleaners or fish store, but let’s be fair, they are both closed by the time he gets home.

    3. I became outdated

    I worked in banking on Wall Street in a technologically cutting edge department. Just as I mastered every new computer or system it would be whisked away and replaced by newer faster models and programs. I was au fait with software the public wouldn’t see for years and anything I didn’t understand was explained to me by MIT-trained analysts. In my world I often use my young adult kids as tech support and endure their snide remarks and eye rolling, knowing deep inside that at one time it was very different

    4. I let down those who went before me

    In some cosmic way I feel that I let down a generation of women who made it possible for every young girl to dream big even though I know the real goal of the Women’s Movement was to be able to dream anything. One summer I read The Feminine Mystique curled up on a couch in my grandparents’ home. The book spoke to me, and my mother and grandmother spoke to me warning me not to tread the path they had taken, leaving the workforce after their children were born. But the book and my mother spoke to a young ambitious preteen, not a young mother.

    5. I used my driver’s license far more than my degrees

    I got my driver’s license after a short course and a couple of lessons in 11th grade.  My post secondary education took six years of hard work and yet, for years, I used my driver’s license far more than my formal education.  And on one level I felt like I was short-changing myself, those who educated, trained and believed in me had prepared me for more than driving carpools.

    6. My kids think I did nothing

    They saw me cooking, cleaning, driving, volunteering and even writing, but they know what a “job” looks like and they don’t think I had one.

    7. I got sucked into a mountain of volunteer work

    Some of this work was deeply meaningful and some of it trivial in the extreme. It is very easy to feel as though you are doing something whether it is sitting on a hospital board or raising funds for a nursery school. Volunteer activities involve a flurry of activity but, at the end of it, those who are running the organization carry on and your job is over.

    8. I worried more

    Being around my children so much of the time gave me the chance to focus on them at a granular level. And I feel fairly certain that neither they nor I benefitted from the glaring light it shone upon us. Helicoptering takes time, and I had the time.  If I had worked outside our home I would have still worried about them but might have confined my concerns to more substantive matters.

    9. I lowered my sights and lost my confidence

    But far and away my biggest regret about my years at home was that I lowered my sights for myself as I dimmed in my own mind what I thought I was capable of. I let go of the burning ambition I once held because I didn’t feel as though I could hold it and three babies at the same time. My husband did not do this, my children did not do this, I did this.

    In the years that I was home I lulled myself into thinking that I was accomplishing enough because I was. I was raising my children and, as any parent who had spent a day with a child knows, that can fill all of the hours in a day. What I hadn’t realized was how my constant focus on my family would result in my aspirations for myself slipping away. And despite it being obvious, I did not focus on the inevitable obsolescence that my job as mom foretold.

    If I could what would I do differently?

    If I could wind back the tape, have a do-over, what would I have done differently? Looking on at my grown and nearly-grown sons, I am grateful for the gift of time we had. Yet, I wish I had tried to keep a finger, a toe or a hand in the working world to ease an eventual return.

    I wish I had kept the pilot light lit under a career so that when I was ready to return, when my teen’s lives were more their own, I could turn things back up again. I did not have a job well suited to part-time work, and work at home was technologically impossible at the time. But, the solution required imagination, not capitulation, and with hindsight, I would have recognized that, over time, my parenting and career would both ebb and flow, but neither would–nor should–ever end.

    More Great Reading:

    Stay-At-Home Mom: This is the Reason I Have No Regrets

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    Lisa Endlich Heffernan

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