Yes, this can be difficult. Believe me, no one calls me and says online dating is just wonderful. Nope. Nobody is super excited to call me. Hopeful, perhaps! What I hear is:
· I’m exhausted
· This doesn’t work
· It consumes my time
· Are there any great men (women) left
· I don’t know where to start
As a dating coach for nearly 30 years, I am always hopeful. Why? I see success on a weekly basis. Remember, it only takes one and that one could be your next date. Now, while I am an optimist, I understand the emotions and exhaustion that can take a toll on you from the numerous dating sites and apps. (I myself went through online dating a year ago after 25 years of marriage. I get it.). And there is not one site/app that is magical.
It’s more of a (like my dad drilled in his 6 children) “When the going gets tough, the tough get going” or “Winners never quit, and quitters never win”. Yes, I played a lot of sports and this is ingrained in me.
Ok, enough rhetoric and let’s get down to nuts and bolts of hot to stay up with online dating:
1. Forget finding the one and just have fun
Phhheww, did you just feel the pressure and anxiety diffuse? Yes, going out into the dating marketplace with low expectations helps you be yourself and achieves results.
2. Don’t become obsessed with your dating app
As a matter of fact, I coach my clients to only go online 3x a week for 30 minutes searching for potential dates. This can’t be your full-time job or you’ll go crazy.
3. Yes, there is dating fatigue
So, what do you do? The sensible thing—take 2-4 weeks off and don’t look at all. So, what if you are paying for the app still? You need some time to recover, explore some other things and just take a break. Then come back refreshed and positive.
4. Try new things
Ok, you are exploring the world of online dating. How about taking the time to explore some things that have sat on a bucket list or been in the back of your mind? Studies show people are happiest when they try new things and get out of their daily routine. I have a slew of clients now playing pickleball—learning a new sport and being exposed to new people. Take a class in person. Join a Meet-Up—instead of hiking with your BF try a group. Oh, so many things to try!
5. Concentrate on what you can control
For one, your own time. Being selective in who you choose to date.
So, you needn’t just listen to me! Here is what a few clients have said this year:
Tim, NYC, ER Doc, 56:
Working with you was an absolute delight. I called you my “canary in a coal mine”, because with your vast experience you were able to really predict what was going to happen. That included my initial interactions on the sites and subsequent dates. You saved me a lot of time weeding out the chaff and with your help I was able to find the life partner who I plan to spend the rest of my life with.
Anna, 67, Boston: It may be that the lucky #14 Match date is a keeper! Charles and I met in late August and have been dating for 9 months. I like him a lot, and he thinks I am terrific. We are spending a lot of time together and passed by your stomping grounds last week on our way to see the Van Gogh Immersive exhibit in Miami. We have much in common and very similar values.
6. Don’t take it personally
Your time is valuable. You went on a fun date with Mike on Saturday. You never hear from him again. It happens. Don’t spend time wondering why he didn’t call or why he didn’t like you. It’s a total waste of your time when there are millions online—and some will be thrilled with your attention and really like you.
7. Don’t make dating your whole life
Do I need to say more?
8. Lower your expectations for first dates
Oh, wow, I could write a book on this one. This is aimed at singles who spend an hour on the phone with someone before going on the first date. By the time the date rolls around, you are way too excited from that fabulous phone call. No, if you must do a phone call first keep it to 10 minutes with boundaries in place. I like my clients to text “Excited to have a 10-minute call and see if we’d like to meet in real life”. Boundary set. A phone call is not a date nor are numerous texts. Who needs a pen pal?
9. Refuse to give up
Yes, you may take a break. Arianna met Tom on her 19th date. It’s been 6 months and they are making big plans for a life together. Michael met Susanna on his 12th date—just as he was about to throw in the towel.
10. Date many people
A common mistake I often see is a client going on one date—-then saying “I’m done. He/she is the one”. One date does not make a relationship—and I always am adamant you must not stop dating until you’ve been on multiple dates with a person and you both feel the same way.
That’s it for today! Happy dating and chin up. Need help? Text me at 702-494-7344 for a free 15-minute-chat to see if I can help and we are a good fit.
I was in my late 40s and experiencing hot flashes – nay – nuclear flashes, several times an hour, round the clock. As a result, I was absolutely miserable and irritable and I was losing hope fast.
My midwife immediately knew what was happening – I was in full-swing perimenopause and it was having it’s way with me. She tested my hormone levels and low and behold – my estrogen had peaced out for good. She gave me a prescription for hormone replacement and it was a game-changer. While it took some trial and error with dosage and delivery mechanism, we finally landed the plane. And what a pleasant trip it’s been.
Please note that my symptoms were at the extreme end of the spectrum – everyone’s experience is unique. But I do know that so many women struggle in silence because they either don’t know where to turn, or perhaps they’ve been dismissed by care providers who received little to zero peri/menopause training in med school.
Did you know that there are 34 documented symptoms of peri/menopause? And most if not all of them can be either eradicated or at least improved by replacing estrogen. While not everyone is a good candidate for HRT (due to medical hx or age, for example), most women are. In addition to peri/menopause management, studies show that it can also be protective against heart disease.
** By submitting your information, you agree to receive email from Maze periodically; you can opt out at any time. Maze does not share email addresses nor any other personal or medical data with third parties.
In this episode, Jayson interviewsLayla Martin, a vibrant and inspirational woman who teaches a tantric approach to sex, love, and relationship. Layla will remind you of your brilliance in the bedroom in this discussion about everything from hand jobs to female self-pleasure practices. This episode contains powerful sex practices for anyone ready to deepen their sex life.
Timestamps:
What happened in Layla’s childhood that started her path to helping people improve their sex lives? [3:35]
Layla shares the biggest struggle and opportunity she sees in couples regarding sexuality. [9:05]
What do women and men each struggle with the most sexually? [10:40]
A simple exercise a woman can do to improve her sexual experience [19:05]
A simple three-part exercise to do after sex that will deepen your sexual connection [26:45]
What to do when a woman has a stronger sex drive than her partner [33:15]
How to respond when a guy loses his erection [33:55]
Should a woman have sex even if she’s not wanting to? [34:30]
Layla explains one practice to transform a woman’s orgasms and sex life. [37:15]
Layla’s take on threesomes and polyamory [41:31]
Links:
Guest Bio:
Layla Martin is a next-generation sexuality and tantra expert. She has over 100,000 subscribers to her weekly guidance on all things sex, relationships, and love. Her work has been featured in the Huffington Post, Refinery 29, Women’s Health Magazine, and Elite Daily. She makes sex and love mastery entertaining and hilarious. You can sign up for her free weekly videos/emails, or browse her books and other free resources atLaylaMartin.com.
The Bible is full of history and wisdom needed to guide our lives. But some sections of the Bible are confusing and, if we don’t understand the context, concerning. Am I really supposed to hate my family? Taken at face value, Jesus plainly told us that we must hate not only our mothers and fathers but our entire family and ourselves. In Luke 14:26, He says, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” That seems awfully harsh and even makes me question Jesus. Why would the embodiment of Love itself tell us to hate so many people? Does He really mean it?
We have to recognize that Jesus sometimes spoke in hyperbole, which exaggerated statements not meant to be taken literally. You and I speak in hyperbole often. My children, who refuse to wear coats, shout, “I’m freezing!” As dinnertime approaches, I say, “I’m starving!” When my husband comes home from a rough day at work, he says, “I had the worst day.” All of these are exaggerations that make the point we are seeking without being the absolute facts.
Jesus sometimes spoke in hyperbole in His parables. In Matthew 5:29-30, Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Shortly after, He commands us to, “Be perfect…as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). Later, He tells His followers, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God” (Matthew 19:24). Jesus offended many people when He “said to them, ‘Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you” (John 6:53).
All of these are examples of Jesus using hyperbole to make His point. While not to be taken literally, these statements are examples of the bigger picture, the truth that Jesus is always pointing us to–that He is better than anything we could ever imagine, and the sacrifices that we must make in this short life are nothing compared to the beauty of eternal life with Him. Jesus’ hyperbole reminds us that earning our salvation is impossible and that “it is by grace you have been saved, through faith…not by works” (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Love
Knowing that Jesus used hyperbole, how can we know what He meant in Luke 14:26? The best way to interpret Scripture is with Scripture. We compare the information we have to the overall theme of the Bible. If something goes against the Bible, it is not true. When we look at one verse, we do not have the full picture. Yes, Luke 14:26 tells us to hate our mother and father, but while considering the use of hyperbole, we must compare that to the numerous verses that tell us to love others:
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12
“Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” (1 John 4:20)
“Each of you must respect your mother and father…” (Leviticus 19:3)
“Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” (Proverbs 23:22)
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” (Colossians 3:20)
“But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this pleasing to God.” (1 Timothy 5:4)
“Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.” (Exodus 21:17)
Considering all of these verses, and many more throughout the Bible, that speak of loving others and ourselves, it is clear that God prioritizes love and wants us to respect our parents. (Of course, this does not mean subjecting yourself to abuse. If you have a difficult or dangerous relationship with a family member, you can love them from afar through prayer to keep yourself safe.) So why did Jesus tell us to hate?
What Does It Mean?
When Jesus tells us to hate our mother and father, He is using hyperbole to speak to a bigger point. One of the Ten Commandments is “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). When God says, “No,” He means it. Not even our mother or father shall be a god before Him. We should not treat ourselves as a god before Him. Jesus does not want us to hate our family; He clearly wants us to care for them. But He absolutely does not want us to worship anyone over Him.
The Bible speaks of physical idols that people created, but an idol can be anything that we worship or esteem above God. When we admire something more than God, then we have created an idol. In respecting and loving others, we must ensure they do not come before God. If what my mom thinks of me is more important than what God thinks of me, then I have made my mom an idol. If spending time with my dad is my priority over spending time with the Lord, then I have made my dad an idol.
When Jesus was asked to name the greatest commandment, He replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37). When He said to hate our mother and father, He meant in comparison to our love for him. No one, not our selfish desires or even our parents, should get in the way of our love for the Lord. To be His disciples, we must be willing to have boundaries with others and always put the Lord first.
How can we care for our families and still put the Lord first? In all your love and serving or “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord” (Colossians 3:23). When you seek the Lord first, the Holy Spirit works to help you “flee from idolatry” (1 Corinthians 10:14). It may seem impossible, “but not with God; all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). Continue to honor your parents, care for your family, be kind to your siblings, and love yourself. But do not let anyone come before the Lord your God.
Megan Moore is a military spouse and mom of 3 (through birth and adoption). A speech-language pathologist by training, she now spends her time moving around the country every couple of years. She is passionate about special needs, adoption, and ice cream.
This week, Jess and Imani get into all clownery and corruption at the Supreme Court and what they learned from last week’s Senate Judiciary Committee hearings over SCOTUS ethics (like Chief Justice John Roberts refusing to show up and testify).
Mentioned in this episode:
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Heaven. The goal for every believer in Christ. It’s the place described as having streets paved with gold, filled with unimaginable mansions and pearly gates upon entry. Heaven is the home of Our Heavenly Father. It is God’s dwelling place designed for total praise and worship. Earth. The world we live in. The place where humans dwell. The ground on which we walk on. The place that God Himself formed for His glory. As we can see by the brief descriptions, it is clear that heaven and earth are naturally two different realms that have few similarities.
Nonetheless, heaven and earth are both God’s creations, with distinct purposes for existing. Many people wonder many things about heaven. For instance, some wonder how soon they will see Jesus; will they reunite with loved ones, or will their pets be alive in heaven? While these and other wonders ponder through the minds of numerous believers, another question lingers in the thoughts of Christian singles; will there be time for dating in heaven? There are a number of unmarried believers here on earth who are either searching for their soulmate or patiently awaiting their arrival. Unfortunately, many of them never get the chance to meet them before God calls them home to live with Him. Not only this, but many single Christians have a difficult time dating here on earth, so this question gives them hope for the possibility of better dating options. The answer to the question of dating heaven is a hard no. Here’s why.
Dating is a multifaceted action with many purposes and definitions. The world defines it as a period in one’s life where a person is actively seeking intimate connections. It’s further defined as an action designed for unmarried individuals to discover the one they will spend the rest of their lives with on earth through the process of trial and error, heartbreaks, and disappointments. During this time, an unmarried individual decides the type of dating relationship they desire for different periods of their single lives. For instance, someone can decide on casual dating, meaning they are not seeking long-term commitment. There are monogamous dating relationships where people decide to commit to one another to see if they are compatible for a long-term commitment. There are heterosexual, homosexual, and even sexual dating relationships.
From the Christian perspective, many may argue that dating isn’t biblical because it is often associated with many sins; fornication, lying, backbiting, covetousness, lust, jealousy, and other sinful temptations. In the dating world, these are some of the things/sins that people (believers and non-believers) engage in, consciously and subconsciously, that are covered up as typical, physical and emotional actions and reactions resulting from dating interactions. Unfortunately, many Christians fall prey to these dating expectations simply because standards for dating have not been established for believers based on biblical standards, so it’s hard to understand why many would wonder if there will be dating in heaven.
With dating, temptation can be at an all-time high. Physical attraction, financial attraction, and the need to compete with others to secure the heart of someone can tempt a person to indulge in sinful activities to fill their fleshly desires. Temptation is a sin that does not exist in heaven. We will no longer exist in fleshly bodies; therefore, we will no longer have a sinful nature.
While dating, many people often confuse lust with love in search of it. I Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” The traits that describe love seem to be missing in many relationships in this world. Many people fail to be patient with others. They don’t show kindness. Some are envious of others’ relationships, dating, or marriage. People who are casually dating or in some dating relationships are often self-seeking; they’re only concerned with what they can get from someone else. Others post and boast about their dating relationships on social media for the approval of onlookers/on-likers, while others date multiple people simultaneously and are untruthful about it. This is not love or the process of seeking it. This is lust of the flesh. 1 John 2:16 says, “For everything in the world- the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.” Desires of the flesh will not be the experience in heaven. Why? Because, again, we will no longer exist in sinful natures; desires will automatically be different. Besides, lust for the flesh and satisfying them are temporary, and who wants temporary satisfaction? There will be a different experience with love in heaven. Honestly speaking, true love will be experienced in heaven. It will be the unconditional, everlasting love of God. The love that we should show each other every day while on earth.
Heaven will be filled with peace and joy. While dating is an exciting time, it comes with ups, downs, and disappointments which can disturb someone’s peace. The agony of uncertainty with certain relationships. Anticipating hearing from someone. The various pressures from the world and even family can accompany dating. Now again, dating is an exciting journey but can bring unpeaceful and unpredictable situations. Heaven is filled with the peace of God that only He creates.
Heaven will be filled with praise and worship of the Most High God. Souls will be focused on praising and uplifting God, so there won’t be time to focus on dating. Heaven will also be filled with adoration and joy for God. In the game of dating, people focus on admiring the traits of others to see if they are a compatible partner for them. If the focus is on someone else, then the focus won’t be on praising God.
The game of dating has varying purposes with varying outcomes. However, no matter what the end goal is, one thing’s for sure: people are seeking love and companionship. While the methods of seeking it here on earth can be difficult to fathom, believers who are saved and secure in that knowledge won’t have to be concerned with finding love on the other side of this world. Therefore, they won’t have to be concerned about dating in heaven. And let’s be honest; if heaven is truly the believer’s goal, then they should know that things we do on earth will not be the same in heaven. Not only this, but they should look forward to seeing God, meeting Jesus, and praising Him. Honestly, I believe if more people included God in their dating relationships, choices, and actions here on earth, things would not seem so daunting. Not only this, they would have experienced dating at its fullest and won’t have to look for it in heaven. Dating is a blessing that teaches lessons that can change someone’s life forever. While it is a learning experience, it is meant for dwelling on earth.
Author Liz Lampkinis an experienced writer, teacher, and speaker. She is an advocate for singles who encourages them to live their best life God’s way. Follow her on Instagram @Liz_Lampkin.
«РТК-Солар», системообразующая компания в области кибербезопасности, объявила о запуске крупнейшей в отрасли инвестиционной программы, которая нацелена на все регионы Российской Федерации. Стратегические инвестиции «РТК-Солар» составят 22 млрд рублей с горизонтом до 2025 года и будут направлены в развитие технологий кибербезопасности – перспективные стартапы, более зрелые компании и собственные разработки. Для поддержки наиболее перспективных региональных команд «РТК-Солар» совместно с Фондом «Сколково» разработали ряд инициатив для опережающего развития отрасли кибербезопасности в России и запустили проект «Хаб Кибербезопасности».
“Секрет фирмы” нашел пять российских стартапов, которые иллюстрируют типичные причины неудач.
Всегда можно пойти жарить котлеты в «Бургер Кинг» и иметь достаточно денег.
Об этом говорили на «Дне предпринимателя-2022», который проходит в тюменском технопарке.
И надо гордиться тем, что ты из Тюмени», — говорит Илья Пискулин, генеральный директор архитектурно-брендинговой компании «DeVision».
Как считает Николай Персиянов, управляющий партнер и CEO HIC Capital Group, осознанное потребление уже вышло за рамки модного течения и стало закономерным в обществе явлением.
И это неполная статистика, поскольку некоторые венчурные фонды предпочитают не публиковать отчеты.
Более 57 процентов участников опроса отметили, что не стоит недооценивать необходимость вложений в рекламу и PR. Для запуска бизнесмены посоветовали выбирать большие города. Вслед за облачными хранилищами данных, избавившими нас от необходимости покупать серверы и RAID-массивы, пришла пора отправить в облака и процессоры с видеокартами. Чтобы игра не тормозила, достаточно подключиться к сервису, который взвалит на плечи своих суперкомпьютеров всю обработку игровой графики и отведет домашнему ПК нехитрую роль ретранслятора. Все, что требуется от самого игрока, – обеспечить быстрое соединение, что с учетом грядущего перехода на 5G будет несложно. Кстати, уже существуют работающие по тому же принципу приставки, например, медиаплеер Shield TV обслуживают суперкомпьютеры Nvidia.
полезные нейросети — сервисы для перевода, презентаций, аналитики и создания контента
Артур Золотаревский, на digital-фабрике для Европы в Лионе сейчас работают те ребята, которые несколько лет назад начинали со стартапа. Теперь они часть компании и продолжают развивать и масштабировать своей проект. — Мы не первый год смотрим в сторону российской экосистемы стартапов. Так, в декабре 2016 на French Tech Connect мы познакомились с GenerationS, в апреле 2018 запустили совместный акселератор, чтобы локализировать работу со стартапами. Сейчас мы запустили приложение Road Connect, которое хотим развить дальше и даже создать экосистему между Michelin IPO и российскими стартапами. Жаркий климат, относительная нехватка природных ресурсов, внутренние конфликты и войны с соседними странами, милитаризованное общество, где в армии служат даже девушки.
В текущем году на разработку первых стартап-студий на базе отечественных высших учебных заведений направят 1,5 миллиарда рублей. Демобилизовавшись, Бланк переехал в Пало-Альто, город, получивший впоследствии известность как центр Кремниевой долины. Бланк переехал в Кремниевую долину в 1978 году, в самом начале делового бума. Компания помогала правительству разбираться в советских технологиях и военных разработках во время Холодной войны. В первую очередь не ждать, что «что-то изменится», «уже скоро выстрелит». Жить тем, что здесь и сейчас, сразу разбираться, какие факторы мешают для развития, меняться, чтобы быть в тренде.
Скелет в шкафу: как искать работу после конфликтного увольнения
«Большие, долгие, дешевые» кредиты нужны и состоявшемуся бизнесу для дальнейшего развития. Вливание финансирования в реальный сектор снизит инфляцию, считает Владимир Шевчик, председатель совета директоров ХК «Сибинтел». Однако санкции, уход крупных игроков формируют условия для новых стартапов. И здесь главная роль отводится малому и среднему бизнесу, который более гибко реагирует на все изменения. Об этом говорили на «Дне предпринимателя-2022», который проходит в тюменском технопарке. Перепечатка материалов и использование их в любой форме, в том числе и в электронных СМИ, возможны только с письменного разрешения редакции.
В опросе участвовали действующие владельцы компаний, индивидуальные предприниматели и самозанятые. Инвестиции — термин, применяющийся к размещению капитала, финансовым инструментам и прочим вещами, которые исключительно про бизнес, а не про людей. Однако, за последнее время стартапы, направленные на помощь социуму и окружающей природе, становятся все более привлекательными с точки зрения инвестиций.
64% все еще работающих в Украине стартапов базируют свой бизнес на мировом рынке. При этом 12% опрошенных компаний закрыли свою деятельность после российского вторжения. Об этом свидетельствуют результаты исследования, подготовленного командой Polish-Ukrainian Startup Bridge в партнерстве с Варшавской фондовой биржей и Ukrainian Startup Fund, сообщает AIN. Какие стартапы могут “выстрелить” в новых условиях, выяснили ко Дню российского предпринимательства – 26 мая – аналитики платежного сервиса ЮKassa.
Наталья Коротченкова, заместитель генерального директора АО «Корпорация «МСП», отметила важность уникальных продуктов для разных сфер производства, что поддержит и поможет развиваться. Спикер также отметила высокий уровень доверия тюменских предпринимателей к местным властям. Более 80% стран, включая Россию, тратят на научные разработки менее 1% ВВП. Уже около 50 лет израильское правительство предоставляет самую серьезную государственную поддержку технологичным компаниям. Создана сеть акселераторов и инкубаторов, разработаны привлекательные условия для иностранных инвесторов, регулярно проводятся конференции и выставки.
Но это только малая часть огромного рынка агротеха, который ждет решений», — считает Мисюра. «Кроме своей коммерческой деятельности я также являюсь одним из лидеров сообщества Go Global World, что дает максимально широкий взгляд на венчурную индустрию и возможность отслеживать зарождающиеся тренды. Основная миссия организации – «распространение ценностей и подхода Кремниевой Долины для каждого стартапа в мире». Она полностью укладывается в стратегию новых венчурных рынков, где уже сейчас формируются необычайно сильные стартап-сообщества и интересные инвестиционные возможности», — уточняет Тращеев. Но одновременно с этим, абсолютное большинство людей никогда ни с кем не воевало — даже самые отъявленные любители таких метафор.
This article is for women who have had negative sexual experiences and traumas and need reassurance and hope that God sees them and protects them, even in the act of sex itself.
Personally, I think God knew how scary sex could be when he created it, especially for women, since we are (typically) physically weaker and historically more dependent on our husbands —and therefore more likely to be taken advantage of. Truthfully, sex is vulnerable for everyone. But the beautiful thing is that God put up safeguards in the design of sex to ensure that his daughters are protected and given proper love and attention.
Whether you are currently married, engaged, dating, or single, I pray that you find hope and healing in these acknowledgments of how beautifully God created sex and his protection of women therein so that you can find freedom.
My Story
I have been married for a whole nine months and have had to wrestle with so many fears around sex since my husband asked me to marry him last year.
While I was engaged (and celibate), one of my bridesmaids and best friends was in town to help set up my bridal shower. She casually slid down onto the couch where I was sitting and abruptly asked me, “So, Kelly-Jayne, how does it feel that you’re about to have sex!?”
She was single and genuinely curious about how I was feeling about my next stage in life. But with this simple question, I almost immediately began to cry. Sex, at this time, did not have a positive connotation for me. At all.
Sex meant a lack of safety. It meant a loss of control. Sex, in my mind, was all about the man getting what he wanted, and the woman being used up and disposed of. It did not feel safe enough to talk about casually and sure as heck did not feel safe enough to experience.
My negative sexual history with unloving men had led me to this extremely sensitive and fearful state. And even more than that, it was in the deep emotional processing of the fact that I was soon going to be sexually active that I remembered that I was molested as a child. I only share that detail with you to say that I get it.
If you are like me and feel like sex equals fear rather than love, I understand. Sex is one of the most vulnerable experiences a human can have. That is why it is so beautiful. But it can also be so damaging when not enacted as God intends.
God is the God who sees you (Genesis 16:13). You are not wrong, unfaithful, or weak for having fears around sex.
But you can also be completely healed.
For my healing journey in this area, I needed to know that God saw my pain and fears and that I wasn’t dumb for having them. I wasn’t broken just because I reacted to the idea of sex differently than other people would. Just because I had some extra healing work to do, didn’t mean that I didn’t trust God or didn’t love my husband.
I just needed to reframe sex to think about it the way that God does, as a safe place. Maybe even the safe place.
Sex as a Safe Place: A Replica of the Garden of Eden
Fortunately, my husband and I received a lot of counseling in this arena before we got married. The wise couple who mentored us gave us a mental picture to hold onto: the marriage bed can be seen as a mini-Garden of Eden.
In the Garden, “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame,” (Gen 2:25). We get to re-experience this state of being free of shame, totally vulnerable, totally visible, with nothing to hide when we experience sexual intimacy with our spouse.
Another way that sexual intimacy is reflective of the Garden of Eden is that the best sexual experiences are the most selfless ones, where each partner is attuned to the desires and needs of the other. Surely, if we were still in the Garden, this is how we would always exist: completely selfless and giving to one another. Thankfully, we can practice this in the act of marriage.
Hebrews 13:4 exhorts us to keep the marriage bed pure. How beautiful is it that the marriage bed is pure in the first place? Undefiled and innocent. Safe from anything that would debase it. It truly is a gift.
Plus, I love that it’s called a marriage bed. Beds are a place of warmth, rest, and comfort. This is what God wants for our sexual experiences.
Understanding that God designed the marriage bed to be a place of safety changed everything for me. And I believe that God underscores and proves this desire for his beloved daughters to feel safe through how he designed the very act of sex itself.
Here are three ways that helped heal my view of sex through God’s inherent protection:
1. Foreplay Necessitates That Wives Are Pursued Selflessly
Foreplay provides time for the wife to be “wooed and won.” The act of intimacy can be painful or even impossible if her body has not been made ready for it through foreplay. Without the intimate kissing, thoughtful touching, cuddling, and closeness that foreplay provides – things that the wife needs to feel loved – actual intercourse might feel less connected, more domineering and less special overall. Either that or penetration might not be physically possible at all.
I love that it’s almost like God put up this safeguard for women through the necessity of foreplay. The husband must slow down and be selfless towards his wife if intercourse is to be pleasurable and intimate.
The Christian book Intended for Pleasure puts it this way: “Most women like to be wooed and won. Let the man indicate by the way he approaches his wife that he is demonstrating his love for her, not claiming sex as his right. The husband must be careful not to appear hurried, crude, rude, mechanical, or impatient!”
It means so much to me to know that God creates a space for his precious daughters to be loved and pursued and that that pursuit is almost like it’s a prerequisite for sex to happen at all. God knows our need to be approached with affection and gentleness, so he wove that into the design of sex itself.
2. The Way for a Husband to Increase His Wife’s Sex Drive Depends on His Own Selflessness
It’s no secret that husbands typically have a stronger sex drive than their wives. Before I was engaged, I had unfortunately been exposed to many negative attitudes about this fact, and it made sex out to be a duty for women more than a delight.
It seemed like the only two options were for the wife to grin and bear it or for the husband to bottle up his own needs and suffer through it instead. But luckily, I was able to stumble upon this passage from The Act of Marriage that highlights a beautiful third option:
“The wise and loving husband will therefore learn as much as he can about this subject in order to bestow on his bride the greatest lovemaking experience possible for both her benefit and his own. The more he strives for her enjoyment, the more he will help to create in her a favorable and exciting attitude toward the relationship. And the more she enjoys it, the more she will welcome and take delight in it.”
The world makes it seem like the sex drive of the husband drives him right towards impurity and a caveman attitude. But God’s design is to usher this sex drive towards greater joy for his wife and greater union between the two of them. How beautiful is that?
I felt so protected and special to God when I read this for the first time. God’s design for sex is for both partners to be uplifted and given to! And he makes it so that the most satisfying relationship is one where the wife is also given attention and honor. Selflessness on the husband’s part is 100 percent necessary for this to happen, or he loses out, too.
3. God Celebrates Women Through Sexual Climax
I know, I know, you might be blushing by now while reading this. But pleasure is nothing to be ashamed of. As the book title suggests, we were intended for it! And the well-known, biological fact that women have the capacity to experience multiple orgasms within a single session, while males can only experience one, makes me feel really special to God.
There isn’t any scripture to back me up on this, but this is how I interpret this fact: it’s almost like a counterbalance to men’s stronger sex drive. Yes, they may be driven to initiate intercourse more often, partially out of pleasure for themselves, but God makes it so it isn’t all about them.
This isn’t as much physical protection as it is protecting your attitude. I feel God’s heart to give women special attention and care by creating women’s ability to achieve multiple orgasms. It ensures the spotlight is shared and reads to me like a little wink from God, ensuring his daughters feel pampered and beautiful.
Every orgasm is also a chance for the wife to feel special and connected to her husband, naturally helping her to trust him more and more. As I’ve said, God knew that sex could be scary – and every time a wife reaches climax, she feels relaxed and grateful for the love shown to her. It is so kind of God to increase this capacity for women because he knew we would need it to trust our husbands increasingly.
There is much more to be said about the spiritual implications of sexual intimacy and how to heal from sexual wounds, but I hope these thoughts give you a starting point for trusting God. I believe he went out of his way to design sex with protections for women in mind. He sees you, and he loves you! And wants nothing more than for you to feel pursued, special, and safe at all times – especially in an area so vulnerable as intimacy.
Kelly-Jayne McGlynn is a former editor at Crosswalk.com. She sees the act of expression, whether through writing or art, as a way to co-create with God and experience him deeper. Check out her handmade earring Instagram and Etsy for more of her thoughts on connecting with God through creative endeavors.
We live in a spiritual realm. Many times, what we consider fleshly battles with other people or circumstances may in fact be a full-on attack from the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 6:11-12 instructs believers: “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (NIV).
It’s interesting that Ephesians 6 tells us to put on the “full armor of God” so that we can withstand spiritual attacks, and then every piece of armor listed in verses 14-17 refers to the Person of Jesus. That passage is basically telling us to clothe ourselves in Christ – to bear His truth and righteousness, exercise faith in Him, yield His Word as our sword, and trust in Him as our salvation. In other words, abiding in Christ, and worshipping Him is our full defense against Satan’s attacks.
Here are five ways to put on the full armor of God and worship Him as your weapon against spiritual attacks:
1. Say the name of Jesus.
Ephesians 6:17 tells us the “armor of God” includes “the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 4:12 says “Salvation is found in [Jesus and] no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” Furthermore, Scripture tells us the word of God was made manifest in Jesus (John 1:1,14). Simply put, there is power in the name of Jesus. So incorporate that power not just by ending your prayers with the words “In Jesus’ name,” but start praising Jesus and Who He is to remind yourself (and the spiritual forces of darkness) of the power in that name. For example, pray: “Jesus, You are more powerful than my enemy.” “Jesus, when You are for me, who can be against me?” (Romans 8:31) “Jesus, Your name is above every name in heaven and earth” (Ephesians 1:21). “Jesus, You have all authority” (Matthew 28:18).
When you say His name aloud, through praise or a call for help, you are enlisting all of heaven’s armies, which respond to the beck and call of Jesus and His loved ones (Psalm 18:6-19, Romans 10:13).
2. Keep a heart of praise.
First Thessalonians 5:18 exhorts us to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” To give thanks in all circumstances means to praise and thank Him in the midst of disappointment, in the midst of heartache, in the midst of pain. As those are often times when we are at our weakest, and most prone to spiritual attack, your praise-in-all-things mentality just may ward off the enemy’s attacks in the first place.
But if you’re like Job, and you’re being attacked in spite of your upright living, then obey 1 Thessalonians 5:18 and thank Him that He is stronger than any forces that will ever come against you. Thank Him for how the trial or attack is developing you spiritually and perfecting and maturing your faith (James 1:2-4). As you keep a heart of praise, which is the essence of worship, you are abiding in Him. Psalm 22:3 says God inhabits the praises of His people or is enthroned in our praises. When God is inhabiting the person of praise, Satan’s attacks can irritate but not penetrate. Keep your heart and mind set on thanking Him and you will be wielding spiritual attack with a weapon of praise.
3. Sing the scriptures.
One thing I love about the old hymns and even some of the newer contemporary worship music is that many of them contain direct quotations from Scripture which make them easier to memorize and recite. All of Scripture’s Psalms (which literally mean “songs”) were originally set to music and meant to be sung. Compose your own tune in your head as you sing the Bible’s Psalms aloud or sing some Psalms or New Testament passages that have been set to music by 19th-century composers or contemporary music artists.
As you sing the scriptures you remind yourself of who you are in God’s eyes. For example, you are His beloved (Jeremiah 31:3), you are His friend (John 15:13-15), you are His adopted child (Romans 8:15), you are “His masterpiece” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT). When you quote scripture back to Satan, he knows that scripture, and he trembles – and backs off – at the power of the written word of God.
4. Pray Scripture aloud.
We tend to think of worship as singing or some other form of praise, but worship also involves prayer, reading the Word, quiet admiration of and reflection on God, and focusing on His worthiness. In fact, think of worship as a focus on God’s “worth-ship.”
I have found Psalm 145 particularly effective for teaching young believers how to pray through Scripture. Read each verse aloud, then paraphrase it and personalize it in a prayer back to God. For example, Psalm 145:8 reads: “The Lord is gracious and compassionate; Slow to anger and great in mercy” (NASB). Pray that back to God by personalizing it: “Lord, You are gracious and compassionate. Thank You for being slow to anger and great in mercy when it comes to Your love toward me. I know I can bring anything to You.”
By personalizing the Word to your life and situations, keeping God’s attributes and the truth of Who He is intact in your prayer, you are applying Scripture to your everyday life. That is what it means to pray Scripture over your situation and to use it as a weapon in spiritual attack.
5. Remember Who has the power and authority.
If you learned in Sunday School or believe today that God and Satan are equals, that is a lie. Satan is a created being, a fallen angel, one who is still subject to God’s authority and judgment. Satan’s attacks are nothing compared to the Almighty omnipotent everlasting God who was not created but created all things. The battle – and any battle of yours – truly belongs to the Lord (Proverbs 21:31). First John 4:4 tells us greater is He who is in you (Christ Jesus), than he who is in the world (Satan and his minions). Romans 8:31 asks the rhetorical question: “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Those verses build our faith in the One who has absolute power and authority.
Spiritual attacks often come when we are already feeling defeated — or when we believe we could never be defeated. Guard yourself against pride and a belief that you are above attack by reminding yourself of God’s authority and ability, not your own. Humble yourself before the Lord (James 4:10) and depend on His power to get you through.
According to Ephesians 1:20-23, God raised Jesus from the dead and “seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.” Jesus, Himself said in Matthew 28:18: “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.” Praise Him for that authority, call upon Him and His authority, and realize the authority you have, in Him, as believers. When you worship and remember Christ’s authority, you are also reminding yourself and Satan of Satan’s imminent defeat.
Congratulations Gifts to Celebrate Your Loved Ones
Has someone in your life just been promoted, passed a major exam, or won an award at work? Maybe your bestie just completed her first marathon, or your little sister recently purchased her first home?
These remarkable achievements required loads of hard work, perseverance, and determination. So, it seems only fitting that you’re looking for thoughtful congratulations gifts that convey how proud you are AND helps them along on their new adventures!
The “usual” congratulations gifts often seem impersonal, impractical, and overpriced! That’s where we come in! We’ve gathered 30 affordable, sentimental, and innovative congratulations gifts to help you celebrate your loved ones and their impressive accomplishments in a way that won’t break the bank but will also add a little sparkle to the new journey they’re embarking on!
Check out this list of 30 creative congratulations gifts for every celebration.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. To learn more about ’em, click here.
Below, you’ll find our selection of unique new job gifts, funky congratulations gift baskets, and sentimental congratulations gifts for the many milestones and accomplishments your loved ones may achieve throughout their lives.
For ease of reading, we’ve split it up accordingly. We truly hope you’ll be inspired to use one or more of these awesome ideas to celebrate the people who matter most in your life!
1.Engraved Wooden Pen Set: This elegant pen set contains two pens cocooned in a beautiful rosewood box, both of which can be engraved with an inspirational message or the recipient’s initials or name. This gorgeous keepsake will serve as a constant reminder of their success and how far they’ve come.
This engraved pen set is a beautiful, sentimental new job gift.
2. New Job Who Dis, 100% Soy Wax Candle: Available in a variety of deliciously calming scents, this darling new job gift can help them unwind and relax after a stressful, tiring day of back-to-back meetings or making tough decisions.
Send this quirky candle to a loved one as a new job gift and put a smile on their face every time they use it!
3. Anti-theft Travel Laptop Bag for Men and Women: Equipped with ample storage, waterproof material, and anti-theft locks that keep their devices safe and secure, this is an ideal and stylish new job gift for those who’ll be traveling extensively as part of the new role.
This laptop bag is a must-have new job gift for those traveling extensively as part of their new role.
4. Personalized Plaque: Bursting with pride at your loved one’s new job or promotion? Customize this charming desk plaque (for both men and women) to your heart’s content so they’ve got a sweet, inspirational reminder whenever they sit down at their desk!
This desk plaque is a sweet reminder of their achievement, so it’s perfect for a new job gift.
5. Custom Friends-Themed Mug: New jobs may require longggg days at the office (at least while they are still figuring it all out!). Infuse some fun into their coffee breaks with this sassy, personalized Friends-themed mug.
A custom Friends-themed coffee mug makes a cute new job gift for friends and family.
6. MistoBox Coffee Subscription: Do you know what pairs well with a Friends-themed coffee mug and a new promotion? A MistoBox coffee subscription that delivers bags of coffee—personalized to their tastes—straight to their door! MistoBox offers over 600 variants of coffee, priced at $20 per bag, and you can choose between three, six, or twelve-month gift subscriptions or send a once-off number of bags.
MistoBox coffee subscriptions are excellent congratulations gifts for coffee lovers.
7. Electronics Travel Organizer: If their promotion warrants a fair amount of travel, this durable, waterproof electronics travel organizer is a must-have! It stores all their electronic gadgets, cables, and tech accessories in one place, fits perfectly in a backpack or carry-on suitcase, and makes remote working around the country (or globe!) efficient and smooth sailing!
Frequent travelers will really appreciate this electronics travel organizer as a new job gift.
8. Desk Name Plate: What better way to celebrate their new job than to have this fabulous acrylic name plate personalized with their name, new title, and possibly their company logo? Add a pop of color to their office desk with this eye-catching congratulations gift!
Just imagine how pleased they’ll be to receive this personalized desk name plate as a new job gift?
9. Motivational Stress Balls: If they’re desk-bound and knee-deep in number-crunching, tricky formulas or algorithms, they’ll appreciate the stress-relieving, calming effects these stress balls offer. Infused with delightful aromatherapy scents and covered in bold motivational sayings, it will help reduce anxiety and boost productivity.
Motivational stress balls are great for those tough meetings or late nights, so this new job gift will really come in handy!
10. Unique Encouragement Cards With Inspirational Quotes: Alleviate imposter syndrome and inspire them to believe in themselves and their abilities with these motivational affirmations. Filled with glossy, inspiring quotes from well-known individuals from various walks of life and space to jot down one’s own inspirational thoughts, it will be a powerful tool for their success.
In a world filled with self-doubt, inspirational congratulations gifts like these motivational affirmations are what our loved ones really need.
11.Custom Leather Portfolio: Sleek. Sophisticated. Pairs well with a new job! Enough said?! Boost their confidence and help them “look the part” when they arrive on their first day with this contemporary personalized leather folder. Makes a meaningful graduate gift, too!
Help them prepare for their new role with this smart and sleek leather portfolio as a new job gift.
Thoughtful Congratulations Gifts for a New Home
12. Personalized Coasters Set: Congratulations gifts don’t need to be fancy to be meaningful. The sentiment behind them and the purpose they offer are enough. These personalized slate-stone coasters are striking, practical (every new homeowner can attest to this!), and unique.
Custom congratulations gifts like these beautiful coasters add a touch of charm to their new home.
13. Custom Door Mat: How adorable would this be for a family who’s just purchased their forever home? A doormat is essential, and when you add a touch of charm by personalizing it with the members of the household … well, you’ve got yourself a winner right there!
Personalize a much-needed household item, like a welcome mat, and you’ve got yourself an epic congratulations gift.
14. Fireproof & Waterproof Document Bag: Help new homeowners safeguard their important documents, devices, and other valuables in this fireproof, waterproof document bag equipped with an anti-theft locking system. Key features include ample space, portability, and extreme resistance to heat and water in the event of a fire or flood.
This fireproof document bag is a must-have congratulations gift for new homeowners.
15. EveryPlate Subscription: If your loved one has just moved into their new home, groceries are typically quite low on the to-do list for the first few days (or weeks!). EveryPlate delivers pre-planned meal boxes to their door that require minimal prep and basic utensils. It costs around $7 a meal, and the site guides you on how many meals they can get from the amount loaded on the gift card. Genius!
Congratulations gifts, like this meal subscription, are a huge help to new homeowners trying to settle in.
16. Personalized Key holder: Rustic and beautifully designed, this household staple is a must-have for new homeowners. Customizing it adds the extra heartfelt touch that will make them think of you every time they use it!
New homeowners will love receiving this beautiful, rustic custom key holder as a congratulations gift.
Creative Congratulations Gifts for Every Celebration
17. She Believed She Could So She Did Medal Holder:Is there an avid runner in your life? Have they just completed their first marathon, and you want to shower them with a gift that will inspire them to keep going? This motivational medal holder (you can customize it for men, too!) will do just that. They can proudly display their running medals and be inspired to fill the whole rack up. Win-win!
Runners will love this themed medal holder as a congratulations gift for completing a milestone race!
18. Way to Grow Set of 3 Succulents: Send this adorable “Way To Grow” congratulations gift basket to a loved one who’s won a well-deserved award at work. The message is quite fitting, and these lovely succulents will brighten up their office! Also a fantastic option for a student who’s just passed a big exam or a new graduate.
Gift this “Way To Grow” congratulations gift basket to a loved one who’s just won an award or hit a major milestone at work.
19. New Driver T-Shirt: Getting a driver’s license is an exciting new chapter for any young adult, so it’s only fair we find a cool, funky way to celebrate them. Available for men and women in a variety of sizes and colors for the new hip driver to proudly display their achievement!
Send this funky new driver t-shirt as a congratulations gift to someone who’s just achieved this milestone in their life!
20. 1500 Days of Fun Things to Do in Retirement: Celebrate the new retiree in your life by helping them create an epic bucket list of things to do in this new season of life. This book is chock-full of activities, hobbies, and even side hustle ideas that will inspire them to make every moment of this hard-earned chapter count.
Gift this fun retirement book as a congratulations gift to inspire the new retiree in your life.
21. Custom Leather Retirement Bookmark: Step 1: Inspire the new retiree to make the most of this new stage of life with a fun, insightful retirement book (above). Step 2: Add a sentimental memento to the gift with an elegant, personalized leather bookmark.
22. Leather Business Card Holder: Starting a business is no easy feat, so it’s certainly a major accomplishment to celebrate. Customize this smart leather business card holder for your loved one so they can proudly promote their new venture in style!
23. Wall Sign Name Plate: Another clever way to celebrate someone who’s just started a new business? Help deck out their fabulous new premises! For starters, you could purchase this sophisticated wall sign for them to display on their office door/wall to alert potential or new customers to their business offering.
24. Custom College Acceptance Initials: Getting accepted into a college or university of their dreams is HUGE!!! Send them off to their new dorm room with this groovy decorative wooden initial that can be personalized with their school’s emblem and colors.
25. Open When Letters For College: Open when letters are such an endearing, thoughtful gift, so it’s a really sweet way to celebrate a youngster going off to college!! These open when envelopes cater to every new experience they’ll have when they’re off working on their dreams! All you have to do is add an encouraging note inside each one.
26. Congratulations Pamper Gift Box: Studying for a big exam requires a lot of sacrifice, willpower, and effort. If they’ve just passed a big exam, pamper them with this awesome congratulations gift basket that includes delicious snacks and sweet trinkets for them to relish in their success.
27. Cookie Bouquet: Unique. Indulgent. SUPER cute! So they’ve put in countless long nights studying toward a career-determining exam? Reward their efforts and celebrate their success with this yummmmy cookie bouquet, delivered nationwide by a bakery specializing in these delish edible arrangements!
28. Custom Moving Away Pillow: Mixed emotions got you confused about what to gift a loved one that’s moving away? Celebrate their bold, brave new move with this sentimental gift that they can hold onto every time they miss or think of you! Add a special message that will get them through the tough days.
29. Wedding Planner: We think this gorgeous, chic wedding planner is the perfect way to congratulate a newly engaged couple! It has everything they need to plan the wedding of their dreams, including wedding planning tips, budget advice, an 18-month planner, appointment checklists, note sections, and wallets to store magazine cutouts, fabric swatches, business cards, and photos. When they’re ready, we’ve got tons of great bridal shower and bachelorette gift ideas, too!
30. Conversation Cards for New Parents: Do you know a couple who’s just announced their pregnancy and are about to become new parents? Celebrate this joyous occasion with a gift just for them that they can use right away! These conversation cards for new parents stimulate deep, insightful conversations to help them prepare for what lies ahead.
If you’re totally obsessed with this gift, check out our conversation starters for couples and families. While you’re at it, why not get ahead on your baby shower gift, too?!
And there you have it! 30 fabulous congratulations gifts to celebrate the people you adore and their journey to making their dreams come true!
Met someone you like? Starting to think there could be a future in this relationship? Here are ten pieces of advice that will enable you to get off on the right foot and build something really special together.
Look forward, not back
Whether you’re 20 or 50, you will have had some experiences and previous relationships that will colour your view of your new relationship. While you shouldn’t deny your past, it’s important to not let issues or difficulties from your past affect your future. Focus on how you want life to be, rather than ruminating on what went wrong previously.
talk about what you want
It’s vital to be clear about what you’re looking for in a relationship early on. Want to get married and have a family? Definitely don’t want kids? Plan to live abroad for a while? Spell this out as soon as possible to avoid disappointment later on if your partner has different desires.
do you like them or the idea of them?
Make sure you like the person you are dating, rather than the idea of being in a relationship. If you overlook red flags and flaws just because you want to a partner, you’ll regret it later on.
don’t keep talking about your ex
It’s important that your new partner knows your previous relationship history, but they don’t need to know the nitty-gritty about your exes. If you talk about them excessively, whether it’s good or bad, they’ll be wondering if you’re ready for a new relationship.
get to know their friends
Getting to know someone’s friends gives you a great indication of who someone really is, rather than the best side they are showing you. If you don’t like their friends, you may not know your partner as well as you think you do.
have big conversations face-to-face
Got something important to talk about? Do it face-to-face, rather than via text or email. Talking about big stuff can be scary, but it’s better to do it in person.
be clear when you want to go exclusive…
If you’ve both been dating other people, but you’ve realised you want to be exclusive with one person, be clear about making that request. It will save heartache later if you fudged the conversation and find out they’re still seeing other people.
… AND know if a situation isn’t right for you
If you’ve told someone you want to move your relationship on to a more serious level and they want to keep seeing other people, don’t hang on for ages for them to change their mind. Being able to recognise when a situation is no longer right for you will help you move on and find something that is.
don’t spend every second together
Having time apart is healthy for all relationships, so build that on early. While you may be loved up now, the honeymoon period will pass, and it’s important to maintain friendships in the meantime so those people are still around later.
KEEP your word
Whether you’re agreeing not to see other people or simply a time to meet for dinner, stick to your promises. Being honest and accountable to your partner creates safety and security, which is the bedrock of a really solid relationship.
We’ve all been told that we should never come on too strong, and that playing it cool is the best way to get someone interested. But how much interest is the right amount to show in the early days of dating?
In today’s brand-new video, I share 5 tips on how to approach this in the early stages of dating so you can not only show the right amount of interest, but also encourage the same in the other person.
Finally Begin Healing & Believing in Your Own Worth. Learn More About The Matthew Hussey Virtual Retreat . . . TAP HERE
Matthew:
How cool should you play it in early dating? There is a period of the dating process, isn’t there, where we’re so worried that we’re going to come on too strong and scare someone away, that we reserve the parts of ourselves that really want to come out, parts of ourselves that feel like they’re authentically us. Maybe we’re someone who loves affection, but we’re afraid to show too much affection because we don’t want that person to think it’s too much, or we’re worried if we get seen to be liking them too much, that we’re going to lose all of our power. We may love being the kind of person who’s expressive with our words, but we hold back our words and censor ourselves for fear that we’re going to say too much. We may love quality time, but we act like someone who doesn’t really care that much about seeing someone else because we don’t know whether they like us as much as we like them, and we’re worried they’ll like us less if they think we’re too available.
I had a question in recently from someone who said, “I am affectionate. I love quality time. I have so much I want to give, but I find myself holding back for fear that it’s going to be too much for somebody else, that it’s going to drive them away. And so when I show up to parties with that person, I’m afraid to be too all over them at the party. I’m afraid to ask for too much or express myself. And my anxiety is what’s making me hold back.” Now, I think it has to be said that there is this conditioning that so many of us have, that if a woman is trying too hard, that’s desperate. If a guy is trying really hard, then it’s romantic. The stereotype of the love bomber is one that often we see, rightly or wrongly, because women can love bomb too, but we see it as more of a male thing.
A guy love bombing, a woman showing he’s really, really interested, and then not backing it up. We don’t as commonly associate the love bomber as being the woman. We associate the woman as being the one who has to hold back in order to be attractive. So the question is, how much is playing it cool necessary? And I’ll give you a little bit of what I said to this woman who asked this question, because I know that I have, in my own past, been on dates with people who were holding back, and I didn’t know that on the date. On the date, all I knew was . . . I didn’t think the person was into me. I didn’t think the person was attracted to me at all, and then I was really surprised to learn, 24 hours or 48 hours later, that that person wanted to see me again.
They would send me a text and say, “I had such a great time. I’d love to see you again.” And I would think I was going crazy. I’d be like, but I didn’t get anything for . . .I didn’t feel you flirted with me. I didn’t feel you showed any attraction towards me. I certainly didn’t feel you desired me. And so I was really surprised to know that they wanted to see me again, we have to ask ourselves, “If I expressed a desire to see someone again, would it surprise them based on my experience or my interactions with them? So far?” A lot of the time, the answer is ”Yes.” So one of the things I say to people is, I’m going to give you five points today, but the first point is we have to encourage people to keep trying with us by the small things we do that communicate interest or desire.
Those could be very small things. It could be touching someone lightly on the arm. It could be telling someone that they look really good in that jacket. It could be texting someone after a date and telling them that you had a great time, or you’re really funny, or you looked really good tonight. It could be someone that you’ve met on a dating app and it’s not escalating to a date. And you’re having a great time with them and there’s lots of rapport, and you send them a message saying, by the way, in case you were wondering, if you asked me out on a date, I’d say yes. Little things that show people, “Hey, I’m giving you a green light to try more because I am attracted to you.” Sometimes we’re so afraid of scaring someone off that we don’t even give them the encouragement to actually try with us.
Now, when we’re showing someone a little encouragement, that can help to decrease our anxiety if we think about it like small baby steps of encouragement, instead of I’m immediately going to say and do everything I want to say and do, which isn’t always advisable at the very beginning of dating. What we want to do is invest, then test, give a little, see if they respond to that. And if they respond to our affection with some affection, then that’s great. We have confirmation that we’re both in the same place.
Point two is something that can really help with your anxiety. See, our anxiety about showing too much in early dating is often about this feeling of once you know how into you I am, I will have lost all of my power. I think that a big part of that is because we see our attraction as this constant, like it’s sort of just a universal truth. You are going to find out how into you I am.
But the truth is, attraction is an evolving thing. It can go up. It can go down. Interest in someone is an evolving thing. It can go up. It can go down. So I like to think of our interest in someone like a photograph. If you take a photograph of how interested I am in you today, that is only a photograph that represents that today. It’s a snapshot in time of how I feel. But next week, I might feel something different. If you take a new photograph a week from now, it might show a very different level of attraction. And if we get that way of thinking into our own minds, then when we’re showing someone interest, we’re not thinking I’m giving up all of this power, we’re just thinking, by giving you a little interest today, I’m showing you how interested I am today.
If you don’t reciprocate, if you don’t meet me there, if I try to give you some affection or some nice words or show that I want to see you and you don’t give me the same back, I reserve the right to change how interested I am at any point. It can change overnight if I feel like, oh, you’re not here with me, you’re not consistent. Oh, I don’t feel safe with you. I don’t feel your attraction back. I’m going to take that energy and direct it elsewhere. And you’ll find that out. The next time you try to see me or the next time you want to hang out, the next time you want to give me affection, you’ll find out that you actually lost some of my interest and intrigue between the last time I showed it to you and right now when you suddenly want it again.
So if someone sees, through your actions, that your interest is not a constant, your interest is something that has to be fed and watered and reciprocated, you know that you’ve never lost your power by showing interest. All you’ve done is taken a photograph about how you feel today and given it to them. If they’re under any illusion that that photograph is just a constant truth, they will realize how wrong they are the next time they try to get your attention if your attention has moved on.
Number three, one great way to still maintain your personal power or “play it cool,” which is not a term I like, but a great way to not feel like you’ve given up all of your power is to show that you don’t need an emotional babysitter. I think of the example that this woman gave me where she said, “When I go to a party with someone, I don’t give them any attention or affection because I’m afraid that it’s going to be too much.”
But what tends to be too much for someone is when we never leave them alone or we show we can’t be alone. Now, that’s not me saying that a party, you have to just leave that person and go and talk to other people all the time, but showing you can is very powerful. Showing you have the ability to walk into a room with someone and truly enjoy being next to them, being in their company, but also be incredibly comfortable having another conversation, feeling like you are an independent presence in the room, that you can hold court on your own, that’s a really powerful thing. It’s a way of creating space for someone to miss us, for someone to observe us at a distance, which can be incredibly attractive, for someone to see that we are an autonomous independent person away from them and that our needs for affection, for connection, for proximity aren’t the same as neediness.
Neediness is, I have to be around you. Don’t leave me alone. Don’t leave me here. I can’t handle myself on my own. Needs are something very different. Needs are just, this is a requirement for me to give my time to someone, to give my energy to someone, is that there’s an appropriate level of affection, of interest, of stability, right? Those are needs. Neediness is I can’t be without you. I can’t be happy without you. I can’t be secure without you. I can’t make myself feel good. I’m making you responsible for that, and that’s one of the things we should explore. That’s a good place to get some self-awareness in early dating, is are we coming from a place of having needs, which is valid, or neediness, which is making someone else responsible for how we feel about ourselves?
Number four, we should be more afraid of getting someone who isn’t a match for us than scaring away someone with our interest.
Some of the things that were put to me by this woman is she said, “I’m an affectionate person. I really enjoy quality time. I really enjoy a touch.” Well, those are things that are important for her to know someone else can give, right? She has an awareness that that’s what she’s like. She needs to, at some point, learn whether that person can reciprocate those things. So yes, she doesn’t want to give all of her time to this person at once. Yes, she doesn’t want to suddenly give all of the physical affection to someone in date two that she would give to someone in month six of a relationship. But unless we start to bravely give some of the things that we ultimately want to get back, we’ll never see if that person’s able to reciprocate. Now, if we’re never being touchy-feely with someone or holding their hand, or giving them a kiss on the street because we are scared that by doing those things, they’re going to think we’re too much, we’re also never learning if they can be the kind of person that makes us happy.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you really like affection and the other person doesn’t? That’s going to make you miserable. You know it if you’ve felt it, if you’ve been there. So during the dating process, I’d be more concerned about, “Can this person be physically affectionate? Is that in them?” If my physical affection scares someone away, then I’ve scared away someone who’s not compatible with me. I can’t keep taking the lesson that, “Oh my God, I should never have given that affection because it scared them away.” That’s the wrong lesson to learn.
Number five, whenever you find yourself playing it too cool in early dating, remember that it is your standards that ultimately allow you to hold onto your power, not your indifference. When we communicate interest in somebody, there’s always the fallback of our standards. We communicate a little interest, we see what happens. And if that person shows that they cannot meet our needs, we can always have the standard of saying, this isn’t enough for me. I don’t get enough of my needs met in this situation.
And in early dating, we can’t have so many needs that someone says, “Oh my God, we’ve only known each other two weeks and you’re already asking for everything that you would get from a relationship from this situation.” That’s having needs that are out of context, needs that should be reserved for someone that we know better that are being placed on someone we don’t know very well at all. If we find that even our most basic needs aren’t being met, the need for respect, the need for a level of consistency in the way that this person is reaching out to us, or the cadence of seeing each other and talking to each other, the need for a level of affection when we are together, if our needs aren’t being met in that area, our standards is what are what saves us and allows us to hold onto our power.
People often think of standards as this very kind of aggressive thing, like, “I am telling you this is what you have to do, and this is what I need from you.” And often, standards can seem a little over the top, and even entitled for someone that we don’t know very well. It’s like, “Why are you asking me for all of this? We don’t even know each other very well.” Standards, to me, in early dating are often quieter. Standards are just where we direct our energy. And if I don’t get enough back from you, then I am going to take my energy and direct it somewhere else, to other parts of my life or other people, other dates. And when you feel that, I can explain why that is if you are asking me that question. But you’re quickly going to realize that if you don’t give me more, you are not going to get more.
That’s a standard. A standard doesn’t always have to be spoken. And that’s why I was talking about with the idea of the photograph. Just because you gave attention to someone last week, just because you showed interest last month, it doesn’t mean that they still have it. And your standards are what show someone that they don’t still have it in the same way that they did before. Because when they come back asking for what they got last month, they’re going to quickly realize there are consequences to not meeting you where you are at. And a standard is a much better way to hold onto our power than just indifference. Ultimately, playing it cool is a form of indifference. I’m holding onto my power by being indifferent to you, but we all know it’s bullshit, because we’re not indifferent. We actually like the person. We actually want to see where it could go. And unfortunately, if we’re not vulnerable with a person, we’ll never see how far it could go because we’re not actually giving what we want to get from someone else, which is vulnerability, letting our guard down, actually showing up, being affectionate. So we have to be willing to be vulnerable and let our guard down, but our standard is what ultimately saves us. If you don’t meet me there, I can move on with my attention.
And what we have to do is trust ourselves to move on with our attention if we don’t get it back from them. That’s what really allows us to be bold and confident in showing someone we like them, is that we realize the moment I feel like you are not there with me, I can start to move on. And I trust myself to do that, and not to keep chasing your approval, your attention, trying to get more of you when you are not giving me the same as I’m giving to you. And in order to do that, in order to have that self-trust, we have to root it in something real. That always is, I know that I can be happy without you. I know that I don’t need you. You could be an incredible addition to my life. Building something with you could be amazing. Seeing where this goes could be amazing, but I do not need you. See, when we don’t need someone, we’re free to enjoy them. When we need them, we can no longer enjoy them.
Because when we feel like someone has our happiness in the palm of their hand, we can’t be ourselves because we’re constantly under threat. I’m constantly trying to appease you and make you happy and second guess what you want because I’m afraid that you’re going to take away my happiness. If you can’t take away my happiness, then I can really be myself with you, and we can really see what this could be.
Now, for those of you who know deep down, you haven’t got to that place where you can feel safe and secure, and happy without someone . . . And be honest with yourself right now. I’m really asking you this, because people love on Instagram to say, “I’m good on my own. I love my own company. I’m happy just with me.” People will love saying things like that because they sound good, but most people don’t actually behave like that.
Most people, the moment they come across someone they think is super attractive, someone who represents a level of charisma or charm or sexiness, something that makes them very eligible, immediately that goes out of the window. And it goes out of the window because you start to see people chasing people that aren’t worthy of that chasing. They start to overvalue someone, to get anxious around them, to fear their abandonment. They get anxiously attached. I’m asking you honestly right now if you identify with those feelings. Because if you do, that’s not your fault. That comes from something in your life. It comes from somewhere in your life, a time where you thought you had to chase people to get their approval, or just growing up and feeling like you weren’t enough on your own. You had something to prove, or other people were better than you, or that you’d never be okay on your own, that you’d never survive, so you go looking for someone that can make you feel safe.
Somewhere along the way, we learned this wiring that we are not safe, that I’m not okay on my own, that I’m not enough unless I’m validated by somebody else. And those are the root cause of the reasons why we end up chasing people. And in order to protect ourselves, rather than be vulnerable in a constructive and powerful way, we feel like it’s safer just to be indifferent and to numb ourselves, and to detach ourselves and keep someone at arm’s length. If you know this is you and you relate to this, the kind of work that gets people to feel safe in their own bodies, to feel happy on their own, to feel like they don’t need that approval or that validation from other people is exactly the kind of work I do on the Virtual Retreat.
And I’m doing one final Virtual Retreat this year in June from the second to the fourth. I also have incredible support in this. Dr. Ramani is joining me for this, and she’s going to be helping you as well, overcome the trauma of your life. So this is a team of heavyweights coming to you on this Virtual Retreat. This is a moment in time that I don’t want you to miss, especially if you know there are patterns that exist for you that have not and will not go away on their own. And after 15 years of coaching people, I’m here to tell you they do not go away on their own. They go away by us doing the work, and the work is what we are going to do in June. So to apply, come to MHVirtualRetreat.com.
And if you get there and you have questions and you want to know, “How does this program apply to me? What will it do specifically for me in my situation?” I have a very small family of people that I love and trust who can talk to you about it and talk you through the process as well in a tailored way to your life. You’ll find all of that information on the page for how to book your call with one of them. But go over there now before you forget, plug this date in your diary, the second to the fourth of June, and go find out about it at MHVirtualRetreat.com. Thank you for watching. And like always, I’ll see you next week.
The Phoenix is an affordable device that offers at-home treatment for erectile dysfunction, using Low-Intensity Extracorporeal Shockwave Therapy (LI-ESWT). Before we get to the review, we’re going to explain a bit about the science behind the Phoenix.
LI-ESWT – also called shockwave therapy or acoustic wave therapy – is one of the most promising new treatments for erectile dysfunction. The treatment uses a device that administers painless, non-invasive, low intensity sound waves to the penis. It improves blood flow in the penis in two ways:
It breaks up and eliminates the buildup of plaque, which causes blockages in arteries in the penis.
It causes microtrauma in the tissues of the penis. The body’s natural healing mechanisms then generate new blood vessels through a process called angiogenesis.
Dozens of clinical trials have shown it to be a safe and effective treatment for vascular erectile dysfunction (ED resulting from insufficient bloodflow). Shockwave therapy has also shown promise in treating Peyronie’s Disease.
Until recently, shockwave therapy was only administered in clinics, using an expensive medical device (which can cost $30,000 or more). Patients usually received several treatments, over a period of 6 to 12 weeks, at a total cost of $3,000 to $6,000.
It’s important to note that LI-ESWT is not a permanent cure. Patients lose the beneficial effects after one to two years, and must repeat the process, making clinical shockwave therapy an expensive treatment option.
In 2020, a southern California company called Launch Medical developed a new product, the Phoenix, which allows men to administer LI-ESWT therapy at home. The device was created by inventor Jon Hoffman, author of the book Inventing Success: Five Steps From Idea To Shelf.
According to Dustin Wolff, co-founder of Launch Medical, the Phoenix uses the exact same treatment protocol (number of pulses, frequency, and intensity) as the clinical equipment. Each treatment delivers 15,000 pulses at 3.0 bars. A bar is a measurement of pressure corresponding to 100 kilopascals, or roughly to the atmospheric pressure at sea level. (See our Interview with Dustin Wolff.)
Dr. Paul Thompson, co-creator of the Phoenix, is the Chief Medical Officer for Launch Medical, and President of the Thompson Clinic. Dr. Thompson is a board-certified urologist and a Fellow in the American College of Surgeons. He is a member of the American Medical Association, Missouri Medical Society and American Urology Association.
The Phoenix comes with clear instructions – including online videos – for using the device, and how many sessions are required. The device has LED indicators to tell you when you need to change positions. It also has a “lock out” feature to prevent you from over-treating. This is an important feature. Shockwave therapy damages tissues at a cellular level, triggering your body to “rebuild” the damaged areas. But too much damage can actually be harmful, and set back your treatment. That’s why it’s important to use a device that has been designed based on clinical treatment protocols.
The Phoenix has been tested with thousands of patients who have seen significant improvements in SHIM scores. The device is FDA Registered, and the company in currently working on FDA Approved status (which has stricter requirements). Note that the Storz Li-ESWT clinical device, which costs $40,000 and is used in clinics around the world, is also “FDA Registered.”
Does the Phoenix Work?
Here’s what we can say about the Phoenix:
The Phoenix uses Low-Intensity Extracorporeal Shockwave technology, which is clinically proven to be a safe and effective treatment for vasculogenic erectile dysfunction.
The reviews on the Get My Phoenix website are collected and audited by an independent firm, Yotpo, which verifies that they come from actual users, and that they are unaltered. Based on these reviews, the Phoenix has an average rating of 4.3.
The manufacturer, Launch Medical, has an A+ Rating with the Better Business Bureau.
The company offers a 60-day risk-free trial.
Our staff members have personally tried the Phoenix and seen good results (see our Tips below).
No product will work for everyone, but based on these factors, we believe that most men will benefit from the Phoenix. More importantly, the company seems to be ethical and stands behind their product.
The Phoenix Price
The current price of the Phoenix is $879, which is much less expensive than the cost of a series of clinical treatments – and right now it is on sale for $200 off! There is also a financing plan available on the company’s website.
Launch Medical is having a Third Anniversary Sale, and offering $200 off the price of the Phoenix!
Just use the coupon code 3YEARS at checkout.
We don’t know how long this sale will last, so take advantage of it!
We asked Dustin Wolffe, co-founder of the company, how they are able to sell the device for such a low price, when clinical shockwave devices cost tens of thousands of dollars.
The big difference is the amount of use the device will get. A clinical unit is used all day, every day, for weeks or months at a time between servicing. The home unit will only be used once every few days, until the treatment is completed, so it doesn’t need to be “industrial grade.”
The company has also made several engineering advances to improve and lower the cost of the device, and has filed three patents.
The Phoenix versus the Phoenix Pro
You may have seen clinics advertising the Phoenix Pro. According to Jame Lang, Director of Customer Experience at Launch Medical, “The Phoenix Pro and The Phoenix are the same device internally. The difference is the Pro is offered by clinics, with their more comprehensive advice. The Phoenix is less expensive and can be shipped directly to your home without an office visit.”
So unless you feel you need extra hand-holding, order the Phoenix directly and save some money.
Hands-On Experience and Tips for using the Phoenix
Having tried the Phoenix, we have some helpful information and tips that go beyond what you’ll find on their website.
The Phoenix is not a rechargeable device. It needs to be plugged in when in use. so find a comfortable place near an electrical outlet.
The Phoenix is pretty loud. Not jack-hammer or leaf-blower loud, but certainly louder than a typical vibrator. It’s pretty close to a barber’s hair clipper.
The Phoenix comes with several packets of Lidocaine numbing cream. We’ve heard from lots of men in online discussion forums, and haven’t found anyone who uses this.
It also comes with a few packets labelled “Heat Shield.” This is simply a lubricant. You can use any water-based sex lube, or you can buy a lube specifically intended for shockwave treatments. Aquasonic offers a 1-liter bottle of sonic gel for under $15. You can put a little lubricant in a shallow bowl so you can dip the tip of the Phoenix if it starts to dry out.
Treatment is applied to a flaccid penis, holding it by the head to stretch it. This can be very awkward, especially if you get lube on your hands. As a tip, place a cock-ring or constriction band just behind the head of your penis; this will give you something to grip. The Erec-Tech constriction system has tabs that make it easy to put on, grip, and remove.
You will get lube on your hands, and everything you touch, including the Phoenix. Have some wet-wipes or a damp towel nearby!
After each use, be sure to remove and clean the tip using alcohol or an anti-bacterial cleaner.
The O-ring on the base of the tip is subject to a lot of stress and can wear out; you can buy replacement O-rings at Amazon if you need them.
As part of the overall treatment plan, the company also recommends that you use a penis pump for ten minutes, twice a day.
“This is an absolute game changer. Every guy has some degree of plaque in their blood vessels, along with vessels that are becoming weaker. It’s only a matter of time until it becomes an issue. “
MAXIM, January 5, 2021
“Extracorporeal shock wave therapy (ESWT), is exciting and innovative. It is a new therapeutic modality that has been available for a number of years and is now being used on a worldwide basis.”
Tech Times, February 11, 2022
“The bottom line? This at-home shockwave therapy device for ED could be a game-changer for men seeking a more satisfying sex life – especially as they grow older. With 40% of men experiencing difficulty by age 40, it’s never too early to start thinking about maintaining and enhancing blood flow below the belt.”
LA Weekly, November 30, 2021
The secret is The Phoenix’s acoustic sound wave technology. Unlike other options like pills or injections, The Phoenix gets at the root cause of the problem, resulting in healthier erections that are easier to achieve.
Men’s Journal
The Bottom Line
Shockwave therapy has been shown to be a safe and effective treatment for vascular erectile dysfunction (the most common cause), as well as Peyronie’s Disease. (It is not an effective treatment for other causes of ED, such as nerve damage, low testosterone, or side effects of medications.)
The Phoenix brings the price of shockwave therapy down to an affordable point, and allows men to administer the treatment themselves in the privacy of their home.
Phoenix is a revolutionary new option for men with ED.
The Phoenix is an affordable device that offers at-home treatment for erectile dysfunction, using Low-Intensity Extracorporeal Shockwave Therapy (LI-ESWT). Before we get to the review, we’re going to explain a bit about the science behind the Phoenix.
LI-ESWT – also called shockwave therapy or acoustic wave therapy – is one of the most promising new treatments for erectile dysfunction. The treatment uses a device that administers painless, non-invasive, low intensity sound waves to the penis. It improves blood flow in the penis in two ways:
It breaks up and eliminates the buildup of plaque, which causes blockages in arteries in the penis.
It causes microtrauma in the tissues of the penis. The body’s natural healing mechanisms then generate new blood vessels through a process called angiogenesis.
Dozens of clinical trials have shown it to be a safe and effective treatment for vascular erectile dysfunction (ED resulting from insufficient bloodflow). Shockwave therapy has also shown promise in treating Peyronie’s Disease.
Until recently, shockwave therapy was only administered in clinics, using an expensive medical device (which can cost $30,000 or more). Patients usually received several treatments, over a period of 6 to 12 weeks, at a total cost of $3,000 to $6,000.
It’s important to note that LI-ESWT is not a permanent cure. Patients lose the beneficial effects after one to two years, and must repeat the process, making clinical shockwave therapy an expensive treatment option.
In 2020, a southern California company called Launch Medical developed a new product, the Phoenix, which allows men to administer LI-ESWT therapy at home. The device was created by inventor Jon Hoffman, author of the book Inventing Success: Five Steps From Idea To Shelf.
According to Dustin Wolff, co-founder of Launch Medical, the Phoenix uses the exact same treatment protocol (number of pulses, frequency, and intensity) as the clinical equipment. Each treatment delivers 15,000 pulses at 3.0 bars. A bar is a measurement of pressure corresponding to 100 kilopascals, or roughly to the atmospheric pressure at sea level. (See our Interview with Dustin Wolff.)
Dr. Paul Thompson, co-creator of the Phoenix, is the Chief Medical Officer for Launch Medical, and President of the Thompson Clinic. Dr. Thompson is a board-certified urologist and a Fellow in the American College of Surgeons. He is a member of the American Medical Association, Missouri Medical Society and American Urology Association.
The Phoenix comes with clear instructions – including online videos – for using the device, and how many sessions are required. The device has LED indicators to tell you when you need to change positions. It also has a “lock out” feature to prevent you from over-treating. This is an important feature. Shockwave therapy damages tissues at a cellular level, triggering your body to “rebuild” the damaged areas. But too much damage can actually be harmful, and set back your treatment. That’s why it’s important to use a device that has been designed based on clinical treatment protocols.
The Phoenix has been tested with thousands of patients who have seen significant improvements in SHIM scores. The device is FDA Registered, and the company in currently working on FDA Approved status (which has stricter requirements). Note that the Storz Li-ESWT clinical device, which costs $40,000 and is used in clinics around the world, is also “FDA Registered.”
Does the Phoenix Work?
Here’s what we can say about the Phoenix:
The Phoenix uses Low-Intensity Extracorporeal Shockwave technology, which is clinically proven to be a safe and effective treatment for vasculogenic erectile dysfunction.
The reviews on the Get My Phoenix website are collected and audited by an independent firm, Yotpo, which verifies that they come from actual users, and that they are unaltered. Based on these reviews, the Phoenix has an average rating of 4.3.
The manufacturer, Launch Medical, has an A+ Rating with the Better Business Bureau.
The company offers a 60-day risk-free trial.
Our staff members have personally tried the Phoenix and seen good results (see our Tips below).
No product will work for everyone, but based on these factors, we believe that most men will benefit from the Phoenix. More importantly, the company seems to be ethical and stands behind their product.
The Phoenix Price
The current price of the Phoenix is $879, which is much less expensive than the cost of a series of clinical treatments – and right now it is on sale for $200 off! There is also a financing plan available on the company’s website.
Launch Medical is having a Third Anniversary Sale, and offering $200 off the price of the Phoenix!
Just use the coupon code 3YEARS at checkout.
We don’t know how long this sale will last, so take advantage of it!
We asked Dustin Wolffe, co-founder of the company, how they are able to sell the device for such a low price, when clinical shockwave devices cost tens of thousands of dollars.
The big difference is the amount of use the device will get. A clinical unit is used all day, every day, for weeks or months at a time between servicing. The home unit will only be used once every few days, until the treatment is completed, so it doesn’t need to be “industrial grade.”
The company has also made several engineering advances to improve and lower the cost of the device, and has filed three patents.
The Phoenix versus the Phoenix Pro
You may have seen clinics advertising the Phoenix Pro. According to Jame Lang, Director of Customer Experience at Launch Medical, “The Phoenix Pro and The Phoenix are the same device internally. The difference is the Pro is offered by clinics, with their more comprehensive advice. The Phoenix is less expensive and can be shipped directly to your home without an office visit.”
So unless you feel you need extra hand-holding, order the Phoenix directly and save some money.
Hands-On Experience and Tips for using the Phoenix
Having tried the Phoenix, we have some helpful information and tips that go beyond what you’ll find on their website.
The Phoenix is not a rechargeable device. It needs to be plugged in when in use. so find a comfortable place near an electrical outlet.
The Phoenix is pretty loud. Not jack-hammer or leaf-blower loud, but certainly louder than a typical vibrator. It’s pretty close to a barber’s hair clipper.
The Phoenix comes with several packets of Lidocaine numbing cream. We’ve heard from lots of men in online discussion forums, and haven’t found anyone who uses this.
It also comes with a few packets labelled “Heat Shield.” This is simply a lubricant. You can use any water-based sex lube, or you can buy a lube specifically intended for shockwave treatments. Aquasonic offers a 1-liter bottle of sonic gel for under $15. You can put a little lubricant in a shallow bowl so you can dip the tip of the Phoenix if it starts to dry out.
Treatment is applied to a flaccid penis, holding it by the head to stretch it. This can be very awkward, especially if you get lube on your hands. As a tip, place a cock-ring or constriction band just behind the head of your penis; this will give you something to grip. The Erec-Tech constriction system has tabs that make it easy to put on, grip, and remove.
You will get lube on your hands, and everything you touch, including the Phoenix. Have some wet-wipes or a damp towel nearby!
After each use, be sure to remove and clean the tip using alcohol or an anti-bacterial cleaner.
The O-ring on the base of the tip is subject to a lot of stress and can wear out; you can buy replacement O-rings at Amazon if you need them.
As part of the overall treatment plan, the company also recommends that you use a penis pump for ten minutes, twice a day.
“This is an absolute game changer. Every guy has some degree of plaque in their blood vessels, along with vessels that are becoming weaker. It’s only a matter of time until it becomes an issue. “
MAXIM, January 5, 2021
“Extracorporeal shock wave therapy (ESWT), is exciting and innovative. It is a new therapeutic modality that has been available for a number of years and is now being used on a worldwide basis.”
Tech Times, February 11, 2022
“The bottom line? This at-home shockwave therapy device for ED could be a game-changer for men seeking a more satisfying sex life – especially as they grow older. With 40% of men experiencing difficulty by age 40, it’s never too early to start thinking about maintaining and enhancing blood flow below the belt.”
LA Weekly, November 30, 2021
The secret is The Phoenix’s acoustic sound wave technology. Unlike other options like pills or injections, The Phoenix gets at the root cause of the problem, resulting in healthier erections that are easier to achieve.
Men’s Journal
The Bottom Line
Shockwave therapy has been shown to be a safe and effective treatment for vascular erectile dysfunction (the most common cause), as well as Peyronie’s Disease. (It is not an effective treatment for other causes of ED, such as nerve damage, low testosterone, or side effects of medications.)
The Phoenix brings the price of shockwave therapy down to an affordable point, and allows men to administer the treatment themselves in the privacy of their home.
Phoenix is a revolutionary new option for men with ED.
Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) has become a popular practice in recent years, allowing businesses to delegate non-core tasks to external service providers. BPO service providers offer a wide range of services, including customer service, data entry, accounting, and more.
However, choosing the right BPO service provider can be a daunting task. Here are some tips to help you select the right BPO services for your business.
Determine Your Business Needs
Before you start looking for a BPO service provider, you need to determine your business needs. What tasks do you need to outsource? Which areas of your business do you need to improve? By answering these questions, you can narrow down your search and find a BPO service provider that specialises in the areas you need help with.
Assess Their Expertise
Once you have identified your business needs, you should assess the expertise of potential BPO service providers. Look for providers who have experience in your industry or specialise in the services you require. Consider their track record, client reviews, and case studies to determine their level of expertise.
Evaluate Their Technology
The right technology is essential for a BPO service provider to deliver quality services. Evaluate the technology infrastructure of potential service providers to ensure they can handle the volume of work required and have the necessary security measures in place. Ask about their software and hardware, communication tools, and data storage solutions.
Determine Their Scalability
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Your business needs may change over time, so it’s important to choose a BPO service provider who can scale their services to accommodate your changing needs. Look for providers who have the flexibility to expand or reduce their services as required, without compromising quality.
Check Their Location
The location of a BPO service provider can have an impact on the quality of their services. Look for providers who operate in a time zone that aligns with your business hours. Consider the local language proficiency of their team, as well as their cultural knowledge, to ensure effective communication and understanding.
Pricing is an important consideration when choosing a BPO service provider. Look for providers who offer competitive pricing, but also consider the value for money. Avoid providers who offer services at unusually low prices, as this may indicate a compromise on quality.
Assess Their Communication Skills
Communication is key when outsourcing tasks to a BPO service provider. Look for providers who have strong communication skills and a clear understanding of your business goals. Ensure they are responsive and available to address your concerns and questions promptly.
Data security is a critical concern when outsourcing tasks to a BPO service provider. Ensure they have appropriate security measures in place to protect your sensitive data. Look for providers who have certifications such as ISO 27001 or SOC 2, which demonstrate their commitment to data security.
Check Their Availability
Finally, consider the availability of potential BPO service providers. Look for providers who can accommodate your preferred timeline and have the capacity to take on your work. Ensure they have a contingency plan in place in case of unexpected events such as natural disasters or power outages.
Choosing the right BPO service provider for your business requires careful consideration of several factors.
By determining your business needs, assessing the expertise of potential providers, evaluating their technology and scalability, considering their location and pricing, assessing their communication skills and data security measures, and checking their availability, you can select a BPO service provider who can meet your business needs and deliver quality services.
Inflatable animals have become a popular item for summertime fun in pools and on beaches, but their uses go far beyond just water activities.
In fact, inflatable animals have been utilised for a wide range of purposes, from advertising and marketing to education and entertainment. In this blog, we will explore the many uses of inflatable animals.
Advertising and Marketing
Inflatable animals have proven to be an effective way to grab attention and promote products and businesses. Companies have used inflatable animals in their advertising campaigns, placing them on rooftops, car parks, and other high-visibility locations to draw attention to their products or services. Inflatable animals are often used by car dealerships and retail stores to promote sales and events.
Inflatable animals are also used for trade shows and conventions. Companies use them to attract visitors to their booths, where they can showcase their products or services. Inflatable animals can be customised with a company’s logo or message, making them a powerful tool for brand awareness.
Entertainment
Inflatable animals have become a popular source of entertainment for all ages. They are often used at fairs and carnivals as part of games and attractions. For example, inflatable animal obstacle courses and bounce houses are a hit with children, while adults can enjoy inflatable sumo wrestling and jousting.
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Inflatable animals are also popular at concerts and festivals, where they can be used to create unique and immersive environments. Giant inflatable ani
Many of us have questioned whether or not a friend is a narcissist. Sadly, there are many narcissists in the world, and they will try to abuse your friendship. Rather than being a friend to you, they will put you down, manipulate you, and hurt you. It is not good to remain friends with a narcissist because they will continue to hurt you and abuse your kindness.
If you are wondering if your friend is a narcissist, here are five subtle signs to look out for:
1. They View Themselves As “Better Than You”
One subtle sign your friend is a narcissist is if they view themselves as better than you. This is very common among narcissists. By viewing themselves as better than you, they think they can walk all over you and abuse the kindness you have shown to them by being their friend. This is not how a friend is supposed to treat you. A friend is supposed to be caring, loving, and supportive.
Narcissists view themselves as better than others because of their pride and false view of the outside world. They believe others are inferior to them and that other people (including their “friends”) are not as important as they are. If you have noticed your friend has been viewing themselves as better than you or has directly told you they are better than you, it’s time to step away from the friendship. Remaining friends with a narcissist will only cause more problems for you in the future.
2. They Aren’t There When You Need Them Most
A second subtle sign your friend is a narcissist is if they aren’t there when you need them the most. Narcissists only stay around when something exciting is going on. They will not stick around when you are grieving, hurting, or going through a difficult time. Narcissists don’t stick around because they only think about themselves. They are not going to be thinking about you in your time of need.
If your friend isn’t there when you need them most, you won’t be able to rely on them. If they are only there for the good times, summer vacations, and parties, but not in the difficult times, you won’t be able to form the strong bond known as friendship. Friends who are not narcissists want to be there for you and won’t put you down during your difficult times. They will surround you with prayer, hope, and encouragement.
3. They Make You Feel Bad About Yourself
A third subtle sign your friend is a narcissist is if they make you feel bad about yourself. If you have noticed your friend has been making you feel down about who you are, or where you are in life, it is best to take an honest, real look at your friendship to see what’s going on. Friends shouldn’t make each other feel bad about themselves. Narcissists will make you feel bad about yourself because they will always be putting you down and reminding you of how much “better” they are than you. It’s a subtle, cruel ego boost for them.
If you are constantly feeling bad about yourself because of friends, it is probably because they are narcissists. While you should still be kind and friendly, you are under no obligation to remain in the friendship. The Lord doesn’t want you to surround yourself with people who will make you feel bad about yourself. Always putting yourself down can result in a negative self-image, depression, anxiety, or an eating disorder. It is best to step away from any and all friendships that cause you to feel bad about yourself.
Since we are all prone to be our own worst critics, we don’t need someone else to reinforce negative thoughts or views about ourselves. If a “friend” is making you feel bad about yourself or comparing who they are to who you are in a negative light, the best route to take is to step away from the friendship. If you are already struggling with anxiety, depression, or another mental illness, you must surround yourself with friends who encourage and uplift you. When you take the step to make new friends, ask God to guide you to these individuals and help you be a good friend in return.
4. They Never Feel Bad When They Hurt You
A fourth subtle sign your friend is a narcissist is if they never feel bad when they hurt you. If your friend has recently hurt you and has shown zero signs of remorse, it is probably because he or she is a narcissist. Since the individual is a narcissist, he or she is not going to accept the fact that they hurt you. Instead, they might try to place the blame on you and gaslight you. Narcissists don’t have much of a bandwidth for sympathy. Therefore, they most likely won’t feel bad when they hurt you.
You don’t deserve to be in a friendship with a narcissist. Rather, you deserve friends who uplift you, sit by your side in your grief, and stand up for you. You won’t find any of these qualities in a narcissist. Part of the friendship process will involve having to apologize for mistakes and working at fixing those mistakes. A narcissist will never make this effort and will instead try to act like they did nothing wrong.
This can be extremely taxing on your mental health because it can make you feel as though you are going crazy. If you know this “friend” has hurt you and tries to make it out to be that nothing happened, they are gaslighting you. You have the choice to step away and remove yourself from the situation. As long as this friend isn’t a roommate, you should be able to properly distance yourself from this individual. If this individual is a roommate, it would be a good time to look into new places to stay.
5. You Feel Exhausted and Drained After Spending Time with Them
A fifth subtle sign your friend is a narcissist is if you feel exhausted and drained after spending time with them. If you are spending time with someone who makes you feel good about yourself, you will go home feeling great, loved, and recharged. However, if you go home feeling exhausted and drained, you might be dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists drain the energy out of others because they normally make you feel uncomfortable, invalidate your feelings, and can even make you feel crazy at times (gaslighting).
If you have noticed you are feeling exhausted and drained after spending time with a friend, try to see the reason why. Was the person making you feel bad about yourself, putting you down, or insulting you? If so, it would be best to distance yourself from the person. Sadly with narcissists, they might not even notice you distancing yourself and will move on to other friends. Don’t let this get you down because there are always new friends you can make who won’t be narcissists.
Even if you invested a long time in a friendship with a narcissist, know that it is okay to let this person go. You can mourn the friendship, but you also have to remember all the times you were hurt by them. You can experience healing and growth in the future by making new friends. Some great places to meet friends are church, a Bible study, college, or work. There are many great people out there who need a friend just like you.
Vivian Bricker loves Jesus, studying the Word of God, and helping others in their walk with Christ. She has earned a Bachelor of Arts and Master’s degree in Christian Ministry with a deep academic emphasis in theology. Her favorite things to do are spending time with her family and friends, reading, and spending time outside. When she is not writing, she is embarking on other adventures.
To the military wife and ones who love, support, and desire to encourage her, this one’s for you.
Life’s not always a bowl of juicy peaches, sweet cherries, or fresh tree-ripened mangoes. Sure, our tenure includes bright sunny seasons sugared with laughter, joy, and good times. But dotted among those experiences and memories simmers a topic many wives refuse to discuss.
Quiet as the sea mist, though, we bare it and trudge on. Because tradition assumes we should.
A notion ripples through the military community and civilian world alike. Military wives are a strong batch. Don’t mess with ‘em.
With a branding of pride, we military wives carry the weight of the world while twirling a dozen virtual dishes. Not a single one falls. Our fix-it know-how seemingly flows better than Bob Vila’s, and if anyone faced Chuck Norris toe-to-toe, it’d be the military spouse. So it seems with this well-touted notion that military wives are be-all, do-all kinds of women. They hold the world together, sewing torn seams on a moment’s need and never, ever, EVER fall apart.
Because that’s what military wives do.
Or is it?
We feel pressured to stand strong one hundred percent of the time, never faltering or allowing weakness to see the crack of day, let alone shine brightly for all to see.
Because that’s what’s expected. But by whom?
Are we falling prey to those thoughts? Is it the enemy’s ploy in this unseen battle for the heart, bending us toward self-sufficiency, shame, or pride when, in truth, weakness, holy confidence, and an overwhelming need for an Almighty God trump all else?
Military wife, you’re not alone.
Don’t fall prey to the notion. It’s okay to wobble with weak knees, to raise a hand for help, to showcase those vulnerabilities stuffed for far too long.
Because when we are weak, He is strong.
You’re not alone. Trust this. Our Father abandons not His loved ones.
Military wives experience heavy feelings at times. The worn and torn, I’m-ready-to-fall-apart, I-can’t-do-it chorus sounding on replay can nearly do us in. However, tuning into to the truth, we find hope.
We’re not alone. God is with us.
It’s okay to allow our weaknesses and imperfections the light of day, because often then we see the power and work of God.
I came to my realization of this after a rough journey.
In 2006, my husband deployed. Again. We were building a house in the North Carolina countryside on some acreage—the slower-paced, rural life we’d longed to offer our three children was morphing into reality. The house was to be completed before my husband shipped out. Instead, we faced multiple construction delays, leaving me to sell our existing home, close on the new house, and move with three youngsters in tow. Tagging along was a long punch list of items headlined by mineral issues in the water, which left me stumped. It brought a rise of frustration I found difficult to shake, and I spiraled downward.
To add to this list of issues, my husband and I felt guided by the Lord to homeschool our children—all this around the time he deployed. My selfish bent pined for those quiet moments while the oldest was at school. Erase that with homeschooling. What about “me” time? After all, I’d be the pseudo-single parent.
I focused on the negatives versus the wonderful opportunity we faced. Negative self-talk became the norm.
Other wives could handle this. Why couldn’t I?
Why did I react like a deer in the headlights whenever fresh problems arose?
Would history pen me as the world’s only weak military wife?
A declaration of godly obedience somehow surfaced, though. By golly, I’d obey God no matter what it took. Buckle up. Pull up the bootstraps. I was a military wife. Pride and self-sufficiency took the wheel. Again.
And so I trudged forward with hubby half a world away, punch list in hand, and kids at my heels.
I refused to ask for help or share about my struggle. In all honesty, knowing how to do either was part of the problem.
And the spiral continued.
A few friends and a long-distance relative expressed concern. I held them at bay. Shouldn’t I be able to handle daily life? Others did. I determined to hold the world together in my husband’s absence—whatever the cost.
So I continued forward, until one night, the weight proved heavier than typical. I stood beside my bed and considered ending it all. Loneliness kept me company. Desperation and exhaustion, too. I needed a way out from under the heaviness, and life seemed to offer no other options.
The lie touted its goods. Shame heaped on top of it because any “good” Christian wouldn’t teeter like I was. Surely.
The enemy wove those thoughts, threading a mindset that he could kill, steal, or destroy. After all, that’s Satan’s ploy. As children of God, we’re to be on call against this deception—to resist it, flee, and stand firm on the foundation of Jesus Christ. And sometimes, as Aaron and Hur did with Moses as Joshua battled, then defeated the Amalekites (Exodus 17), we need fellow arm-holders. Others. People. And the God who strengthens us to win spiritual battles.
That night, I curled up in bed and continued until the deployment ended. I’m grateful to God.
I never sought outside help but should have. Over several months, and with wisdom from Above, healing came. We moved out of the Carolina house and headed to Joint Base Pearl Harbor Hickam in Hawaii. There, through a conversation with a fellow Navy wife, I realized the truth. Other spouses struggle, too.
I realized I wasn’t broken or weak after all. And most definitely not alone.
These women battle against emotional lows, feelings of overwhelm and weakness, exhaustion, and even the “d” word: depression. It happens, and it’s okay to not have it all together—to need and ask for help.
Because when we are weak, then He is strong. And God’s strength causes mankind’s to pale. Under His wings, friend, we rest in safety. We’re wise to run to Him.
A few practical tips include searching for a local friend or two. Try church, small cell groups, moms or military organizations, or in the neighborhood. With wisdom, doors open to share about daily life with authenticity and transparency. Prayer helps, too, as does digging into God’s word. So does bartering with a trusted friend for babysitting services and pushing ourselves to take that step and ask for help.
For those who love and want to see military spouses succeed, offer help regularly, and put action to words. Don’t wait, simply bring that meal. Listen. Help put up the Christmas tree or offer to watch the kids during doctor appointments or grocery runs. Mow the yard. Invite them to your dinner table, and don’t be afraid to share, because real friends challenge us and whisper the hard truths when others won’t.
National Military Appreciation Month and Mental Health Awareness Month occur in May. Military Spouse Appreciation Day is observed on the 12th as well. So when that day rolls around and for the remaining three-hundred-sixty-four days each year, know that you are appreciated, military wife. Dearly.
God sees you, and He is near. Friends, too.
Be strong in His mighty power, and carry on, beautiful one. Because of Christ, you’ve got this—even if some pieces fall along the way.
“‘Behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.’” Amen. (Matthew 28:20 WEB)
Kristi Woods is a writer, podcaster, and speaker—but mostly a Jesus girl. She offers a free 30-Day Psalms Bible reading plan, Bible studies, prayers, and other faith-building tools for a deeper walk with God at www.KristiWoods.net. You’ll also find her new podcast, Intentional Living with Kristi Woods at LifeAudio.com. Kristi, her handsome, retired-from-the-Navy husband, and their three children survived a nomadic, military lifestyle and have set roots in Oklahoma—where she keeps a close watch for tornadoes and good chocolate.
