Category: Dating & Love

Have you ever deeply fallen for someone only to feel them gradually fading away?

In today’s new video, I’ll show you the best strategy to give yourself the maximum chance of salvaging the relationship (or help you move on to find the RIGHT person for you).



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Matthew:

Have you felt someone in recent memory or very recently in your life pull away? What was your reaction to them pulling away? In fact, what do you feel was the reason that they pulled away in the first place?

In today’s video, I’m going to tell you a quick story about someone who came to me about someone pulling away and what they did, and I’m going to show you a very, very common three-part pattern that happens in situations like these. And as I go through each of these three parts, I want you to just see where you might be able to see your own pattern aligning with that because it might be that you see exactly this pattern show up frequently in your life.

The woman who came to me told me a story of a marriage that she had recently left, an eight-year marriage, which for five of those eight years had become devoid of passion, there was no sex, there was no real intimacy or romance. It was essentially a relationship of two roommates. And she left that relationship, went back out there into the dating scene, and then met a guy that she felt an intense chemistry with. Now, in feeling all of this chemistry and the excitement of it and how important that felt, she suddenly started to give an awful lot to this situation, and she said herself that the text messages from her got longer and longer and his messages got shorter and shorter. There was a strong initial interest from him, but it started to fade. And as it faded, as she felt him pulling away, she felt this urge to make it work. Then when she happened to see that he was hanging out with another woman, she tried to reach out and assert a boundary and say that she wasn’t comfortable with that.

He said, “That’s way too much control for me at this stage.” He wasn’t willing to oblige and then suggested they go their separate ways. This is the point at which I entered the dynamic. And she said, “Matthew, what do I do here? I really like this guy. I feel something extraordinary with him that I didn’t feel in my marriage. Why did this happen when he showed all of this initial interest and then faded away? And what did I do wrong in trying to assert my boundary about this other woman that he was hanging out with?” Now, let me explain the three-part pattern that this aligns perfectly with that happens to so many people when they feel an intense chemistry.

The first part is that we overvalue something in the situation. Now, let’s take her story. She was in a marriage for eight years where for a very long time she was not feeling that chemistry and they weren’t having sex. So now the first person that she really meets and connects with, when she feels an intense chemistry, it feels like the most important thing in the world, that this is exactly what was missing in my marriage. Now, when we feel like we’ve been missing something for a long time, we can hyper focus on that thing and not all of the things that perhaps a marriage is important for and provides. In other words, when we find someone new, we still have to have the good parts of that marriage, the teamwork, the mutual respect, the thinking about each other, all of the ways we show up for each other, the consistency, the stability. We still need all of those things. It’s just that we were missing a very, very important component of a long-term relationship, which is intimacy.

But when she felt chemistry, it made her forget about all of these other things someone would need to have and massively overvalue that chemistry. So that’s part one, and that happens to so many of us when we meet someone. There is something they have that we overvalue. And because we overvalue it, we put them and the possible relationship that may emerge with them on a pedestal. 

The second part of the pattern is this. When we overvalue something, based on that overvaluation, we begin to give way too much. So for her, her effort that she was putting into this was effort that corresponded with how important she thought it was because of the chemistry she was feeling. It did not correspond to how important he was making it or how important it really was. She had just decided that because she was feeling something intense, this was a really important thing to hold onto, and she gave in accordance with that. That made him feel like he was getting way too much for what he was giving.

And I’m not suggesting that this person would’ve been capable of a real relationship had she given the appropriate amount, but what is guaranteed is that he got way more than he was giving, and that only lowers her value in his eyes, that this effort is cheap. I don’t need to do much to get this amount of investment. And what was the investment based on? It wasn’t based on real qualities. It wasn’t based on character. It wasn’t based on how much he was investing. It was based on some attention that he’d given her that had resulted in some chemistry. I see this pattern a lot where someone says, “But Matthew, he seemed to really like me. In the beginning, he was giving a lot.” And we have to almost stop thinking of someone liking us as meaning one thing. Someone liking us can be they really like having sex with us because we’re good in bed.

Someone liking us can mean they like not feeling alone. They like the feeling they get when they have companionship around us. Someone liking us can be that they like that we’re a really great person, but maybe they don’t feel romantically about us, but they do like being around us because we have great values and they feel secure around us. Someone liking us can mean they’re just having a great time right now, the same great time they’re having with five other people. So what does liking us really mean? Not a lot on its own. Liking us just gets us some of a person’s attention, but attention is not intention. It’s not the intention to have a relationship with us, the intention to build something with us, the intention to be a permanent feature in our life, and even intention doesn’t mean real investment because not everyone who has the good intentions can back it up with real investment over time.

In her case, she didn’t have intention or investment. She just had attention, attention that she was vastly overvaluing, and that overvaluation was making her give way too much. 

Now, here’s the third part in this pattern. Her giving so much and him realizing, “Oh, I really don’t need to do a lot to get this amount of investment,” which naturally makes someone go, “Well, maybe I can give a little less. Oh, I still get the investment. Maybe I’ll give a little less. Oh, I still get the investment.” When he feels that, he’s giving less, and she’s feeling more and more out of control. So in response to feeling out of control, the third part of the pattern is: “I now try to exert control in the wrong way because I don’t feel in control of how much this person is giving, but I can be in control of trying to tell them I’m not happy with them hanging out with this person in this case.” So we try and exert control there.

The problem with exerting control in a way like that is that, A, it doesn’t show control over the right things. It doesn’t show that I’m just simply controlling whether my perception of whether you are right for me, or I’m controlling how much I give to this situation. Those are higher-value ways of controlling, but a low-frequency way of controlling is, “You can’t do that. I don’t feel powerful right now. I feel like I’m trying to get you, and I can’t get you, so I’m going to try and control you in this way.” Often when we do that, and it’s coming from a place of desperation and insecurity, we are trying to make a demand at a time where we don’t have leverage. In life, when we ask for something, we usually need some form of leverage. In dating, if I say, “You have to commit to me,” I have to have some form of leverage. And I know that may sound like a crude way of looking at it, but what makes someone commit?

I don’t want to spend time without you. I don’t want to lose you. I want this to continue. You represent so much importance in my life that I couldn’t have you not in my life. I really like you, or I love you. That’s a form of leverage. We don’t think about it like that because it sounds too kind of manipulative almost. But the truth is, we ask when we have leverage. It’s the same as in anything in life. In business, if you are asking someone to pay for something, the leverage is that you really want that thing. If you ask someone to pay for something they don’t want, there’s no leverage there. In her case, what I gather from this situation is this is kind of a charming guy enjoying himself, enjoying creating chemistry, maybe doing it with multiple people, enjoying that freedom. And the fact that he had chemistry with her wasn’t enough leverage on its own, but she was treating it like it was.

In order to make an ask, someone has to really want us in that moment. They have to be asking for something. The right time to say, “Hey, something’s making me uncomfortable,” is when that person is actually asking to see you again, when that person is asking for more of your energy, when that person wants to keep dating you. That’s a great time to say, “Hey, I’d love to keep dating you too, but there’s something that’s making me a little uncomfortable, or I just want us to establish the rules going forward of what we are not going to do or what we are going to do.” Those are the right times to ask for something. But if we don’t have leverage, there’s no point asking. In that moment, what could she have done differently? Well, ultimately, if she feels like she’s texting more and more and more and him less and less, that’s a good time to step back. And the next time he reaches out to her, she shouldn’t ratchet up the energy she gives him until she feels a ratcheting up from his side.

So there should be a reduction in her energy, a reduction in her investment. And if he questions that reduction like, “What’s going on?” That’s the time to say, “Well, I felt like there wasn’t any progression with you, and because there was no progression, I just kind of felt like . . . I didn’t feel excited in giving much more to this.” 

He could at that point say, “Oh my God, but I want to keep seeing you.” 

“Well, if you want to keep seeing me, you need to show me.” 

And if he does show her, then she can increase her energy in accordance with that. But what was happening instead was he was decreasing his energy. And right as he was lowering his energy, she came in and said, “And here’s what I want,” and he’s saying, “But I’m not even asking for anything from you right now and you’re telling me what to do.”

No leverage to three parts to that pattern that people fall into. If we ever want a shot at pulling them closer, we have to reverse this pattern, value appropriately, give appropriate to the investment that I’m getting, and then make our asks at times when I have real leverage because this person is seeing me as someone they want in their life more, but what I’m showing them is that there’s a price to having me in your life more. 

How to do this in reality, because I’m giving you a conceptual model here, but what we need is, “Okay, how do I actually apply that? Like, walk me through from the moment I meet someone on a dating app, to getting on a date, to what I do after a date, between date one and date two, what do I do when I don’t hear from them for a week after date two, how do I communicate with them at each juncture, when I do ask for more, what’s a great way of doing it in a powerful, confident way?

These are all things that I’ve created for years of my life now in very practical ways that are easy to follow, and I’ve put them in a program called The Momentum Texts. And The Momentum Texts is 67 specific ways to increase momentum in the early stages of dating so that a situation like this doesn’t happen, so that when you apply energy to your dating life it actually goes somewhere instead of always petering out, instead of always fading out. And by the way, a copy of The Momentum Texts is seven bucks, so it’s a very, very accessible program. There’s no excuse for everyone not to have their hands on this. To get your copy, go to MomentumTexts.com. Whether you are on day one of texting someone, or you’re on month six of seeing someone, this program will give you something for every part of the dating process. Go check it out, and thank you as always for watching the video.

Being on a dating app can be equivalent to a trip to the haunted house. You feel nervous, apprehensive, and lost. However, there are ways to turn this experience around. For instance, the right Bumble conversation starters can turn this nightmare into a dream.

The essence of starting a conversation is remembering that, on the other side of the screen, is a person as human as you are. You want to catch their attention without creeping them out. While you can always message them with a simple ‘hey’, taking things a notch higher and using fun conversation starters can put you above the rest. 

Don’t know where to begin your message? Fret not! We have done the homework for you. Keep reading for a list of 50 conversation starters on Bumble served with a side of friendly advice.

50 Bumble Conversation Starters To Yield A Reply

Never again will you be left on seen because you have us – the dating savior. When it comes to online dating, first impressions are everything! That’s why the first message – or even the first few – you send a match can make or break a connection. If you lack a natural flair for saying the right thing at the right time or spontaneity isn’t your strongest suit, conversation starters on Bumble can be a huge asset to your online dating game. 

Good Bumble conversation starters are well thought out, catch attention, and do not make the person feel like burning their eyes. So, without much ado, let’s get started!

1. Start by highlighting commonalities 

The best way to start a conversation on Bumble is to show the other person how much you have in common. This gives you a starting point to dive into and keep a conversation going. 

Good conversation starters are the key to unlocking a person’s mind and getting them interested in you, particularly on a dating app. Here are some Bumble conversation starters and messages that prove useful: 

• Hey! I see ____ is your favorite song. Mine too! What a coincidence! 
• I see, you and I both love traveling…
• Funny! We both share the same hidden talent 
• My favorite movie is the same as yours, we should get together and watch it sometime 
• Hey! I see we both like ___. Wanna go on an ice cream date and see what other things we have in common? 
• How did you know I like _____ too? 
• I love [their listed favorite food] too. Have you ever been to [local restaurant]?
• Small world, I also went to (their high school/college). What did you study? 
• Hey! I grew up in ______ too! When did you move to the city? 
• What a weird coincidence, I was at that concert too! 

Related Reading: Online Dating: 8 Relationship Tips To Make It Work For You

If you are ever wondering how to start a conversation with a girl or a guy, this is one of the best tips to follow. Highlighting commonalities is always a good conversation starter to get someone intrigued. After all, aren’t we all in the search of someone who understands us a little bit? 

2. Ask meaningful open-ended questions 

Wondering how to start a conversation with a guy/girl you can’t stop thinking about? Well, apart from an impressive dating profile, the key is asking open-ended questions, giving them a chance to really open up to you and not limit their answers to a yes or no. 

Your opening lines shouldn’t be a close-ended statement or a question because this paves the way for a boring and dry conversation. Here are some examples of opened-ended questions and messages that serve as some of the best conversation starters: 

• What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
• What kind of music do you listen to?
• If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
• What’s the best book you’ve read recently?
• What would be your dream job if money wasn’t a concern? 
• What’s that one food item you can eat at any given moment? 
• What’s your favorite song to jam to while in the shower? 
• If you were super hungry, what is the first restaurant that’d come to your mind? 
• Do you think the world is full of mythical creatures? 
• What’s one place you’ve always wanted to visit but haven’t yet?

Related Reading: 21 Flirting Signs From A Woman You Never Knew About

Asking open-ended questions is a clever way to ensure that you are giving the other person space to take the conversation forward and is better than asking a random question and getting left seen. 

3. Begin with flattery 

Everyone likes flattery, especially on a dating app. Flattery is the sincerest form of validation when it comes to Bumble conversation starters and goes a long way in making the other person interested in what you have to say. If you constantly find yourself asking how to start a conversation with a girl/guy, here are some examples of messages and conversations starters for Bumble to help you: 

• Hey! I’m sure I’m not the first person to tell you that you have the face of an angel. 
• Hey! My dating coach says I need to look for a girl that’s good for my heart. And I think I’ve found her! 
• Hey! Is calling you gorgeous a good opening line or should I try something better? 
• Hey! My dating coach said that a brown-eyed guy would be my good luck charm. And, you have the most beautiful brown eyes. 
• Fancy meeting you here! Shouldn’t you be gracing a fashion runway instead? 
• Hey! You look like someone who would prefer deep conversations over small talk. 
• Most people will say you are beautiful. I say the definition of beauty was created just for you. 
• I like guys who make the first move, but you seem special…
• Never have I ever….seen a smile as bright as yours 
• Your bio is so unique, what inspired you to write it?

4. Ask about their interests 

More often than not, the ideas for the best Bumble conversation starters are hidden in the bio of the person you’re talking to. If you look closely, you will find something about the last song they heard or a million ways to make them laugh, or even something as simple as the best concert they have ever attended.

All you have to do is look for their interests and ask them about them. Confused? Here are some good conversation starters and messages to get the ball rolling:

• Hey! If we were to go on a first date, what would be the ideal place for you? 
• What’s a secret talent that only you have? 
• Your holiday photos are amazing! What is the most memorable holiday you have been on? 
• What is the best advice you have ever received? 
• What is a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon, according to you? 
• What is the weirdest thing you want to try? 
• If there were a million ways to say I love you, which one would you choose and why? 
• What is the worst thing a person can say to you?
• What are some of the best opening lines you have heard on a dating app?  
• Which is your favorite song from your teenage years and why? 

Related Reading: 11 Dating Tips For Beginners – Make Sure You Follow These!

When you message a person, you have to ensure that you are asking them about their interests and actively taking a part in contributing to the conversations. Starting a conversation is not enough. You need to know how to take the conversation forward. Don’t limit yourself to random questions. Ask something meaningful instead. 

5. Tickle the funny bone 

Bumble conversation starters are funny yet smart – now that’s a tricky balance to strike, but if you can nail it, it’s the easiest way to make a favorable impression. And you’ll realize, starting a conversation and sending messages on a dating app is not as intimidating as it sounds. You don’t always have to say something serious or flattering. 

The way to a person’s heart is through their laughter. Light-hearted and fun Bumble conversation starters are a good point to catch the attention of the other person. If you are not looking for a serious relationship and just want to make friends on Bumble, you can also try bumble BFF conversation starters, which are funny and thus not intimidating or off-putting.

Ain’t got a funny bone in your body? No worries. Here are some fun conversation starters and messages which are sure to get a chuckle:

• Do you believe in love at first swipe, or do I need to swipe right again?
• What’s your favorite cheesy pickup line?
• Two truths and a lie, go!
• What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
• What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled?
• What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever bought?
• Do you think aliens exist? Prove it.
• What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you?
• What’s the most unusual talent you have?
• What’s the funniest joke you know?

These Bumble conversation starters’ funny examples will come in handy whenever you want to make the other person smile. Even if you aren’t downright hilarious every time, fun Bumble conversation starters can be disarming and ensure that the other person replies to your message. 

Starting a conversation on a dating app is not a herculean task if you have the right message for the right person. Talking about shared interests you find common ground on which you can build your connection. Likewise, showing genuine interest in the other person can make it easier for them to open up to you. Just make sure that you set the ground for a fun conversation. They may or may not respond but it is important to shoot your shot!

13 Major Disadvantages Of Online Dating

Is Online Dating Easier For Women?

First Date After Meeting Online– 20 Tips For First Face To Face …

Opening a medical spa is an exciting venture that comes with its own unique challenges. Unlike traditional spas, medical spas offer clinical treatments that require specialized training and equipment. However, once you’ve honed your craft and developed your services, building a loyal clientele is key to the success of your business.

A loyal clientele is one that repeatedly seeks out the services offered by the medical spa and promotes the business to others, becoming a valuable asset to the business. In this article, we will explore practical tips that can help in building a loyal clientele for your medical spa.

To help the business founders map out a clear and defined path to building a loyal clientele, highlight the key strategies to attracting and retaining clients in the business plan. For a solid plan, use this medical spa business plan pdf for guidance.

Deliver Excellent Service

Excellent customer service is the cornerstone of a successful business and medical spas are no exception. Ensure that the staff is well-trained and knowledgeable about the offered services and products. Listening carefully to the needs of the clients is also essential, as this can build strong, long-lasting relationships.

To create a welcoming and comfortable atmosphere, understand the nuances that make a medical spa distinctive from a regular spa. Ensure that the ambiance is sterile, sleek, and designed to promote relaxation. Clients who feel appreciated and valued are often more likely to return.

Follow-Up Service

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After every appointment, follow up with the clients. A phone call, email, or text message to thank them for their time and encourage feedback can go a long way. Ask them if they have questions or concerns after their treatment. Encourage clients to inform the staff if side effects occur after their treatment, and be available after the treatment to talk them through any issues.

Also Read: 60 Loyalty Quotes To Prioritise Your Commitments

Additionally, use follow-up messages to promote the products and services. For instance, if a client has had a skin resurfacing treatment, send them an email promoting a specialized serum to use during the healing process. Staying connected with the clients can help build strong relationships and also boost sales.

Personalize Your Services

Another way to build a loyal clientele is to personalize your services. Get to know the clients, their preferences, motivations, and skincare goals. Create individualized treatment plans that cater to their needs and keep track of their progress. This strategy can also help in up-selling additional services because clients are more likely to trust recommendations from someone who understands their skincare needs.

Promote Your Business

Marketing is essential to the success of every business, including medical spas. A well-planned marketing strategy can aid in attracting new customers and retaining existing ones. Utilize social media platforms, such as Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, to advertise your products and services. Consider forming partnerships with social media influencers who can provide valuable brand exposure.

Leveraging delighted clients is an additional effective marketing strategy. Provide incentives, such as discounts, free services, and rewards for referrals to motivate satisfied clients to recommend the business to their friends and family.

Offer Specials and Promotions

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Another great way to build a loyal clientele is by offering specials and promotions. Reward clients for their loyalty with discounts or free treatments and products after a certain number of visits. Promotions can also be offered to attract first-time clients so they become loyal customers in the long run.

Keep in mind that specials and promotions need to be carefully considered to avoid overspending and to ensure that the offers match the business goals. Offering too many promotions can have an impact on the bottom line, so find a balance between attracting new clients and retaining existing ones while being financially sustainable.

Maintain Communication

Staying in touch with clients, even when they’re not visiting the medical spa, is essential to building a loyal clientele. Use social media platforms to keep them informed about upcoming treatments, promotions, and events. For instance, upon launching a new service, posting teasers on social media can create buzz and excitement around the launch.

Additionally, use email newsletters to communicate with clients. Share skincare tips, product recommendations, and other relevant information that can help them achieve their goals. Regular communication keeps the brand front of mind and lets clients know that their ongoing support is valued.

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Also Read: Reviews and Recommendations for Best Spa Breaks in the UK

Follow these Strategies for Success

Building a loyal clientele is a crucial aspect of running a successful medical spa business. Providing excellent customer service, personalized treatments, effective communication, and following up after appointments are some of the key strategies that can help build a loyal clientele. By implementing these strategies consistently, the clients will feel appreciated and valued. A loyal clientele will respond to efforts to maintain a healthy relationship, even as they help boost the profitability and growth of the business.

Yes, how you self-talk creates your success …or failure. In life. In dating. In everything, right?

Quick example: I have a new 56-year-old client who told me she wasn’t sure anyone would want to date her—after all, she was widowed. I’m looking at her on our Zoom call thinking, “What? She’s darling! Dimples, gracious Texan accent and in great shape”.

And, I said, directly and bluntly (graciously though), don’t ever say or think that again. (Otherwise, she was quite confident on the call—just married so long and nervous about her very first date). Science has proven we have something like 80,000 thoughts a day—-and 60-70% are negative. OMG! Startling. And no, I have absolutely no idea how someone figured that out!

Upward and onward on how you should be talking to yourself:

1. I make my own decisions, take the actions and am responsible for the results.
You betcha. So, last week you played a lot of golf or tennis, binged The Diplomat, and went online once for 20 minutes. You now have no dates this week. Decision + Actions = No Dates.

2. My past needn’t be my future.
Sure, the past shapes us and has a huge impact on who we are today. Is change possible? My Mom (thinking/missing you, Mom on Mother’s Day) once told me the only certainty in life is change. She wasn’t talking about dating, just life in general. You may have been in an unhappy marriage. You may feel you wasted 5 years on a man who couldn’t commit.

Intelligent people learn from these mistakes. And guess what? When I’m working with them, they see red flags after one or two or maybe three dates and cut it off immediately. The past did affect the future in a great way in dating!

3. I’m not easily influenced by other’s opinions.
OK, I can’t stress this one enough! How many clients have told me horror stories their friends have told them about online dating? Tons. I always laugh. Oh my gosh, this isn’t 2005 or 2010 when the online dating world was still figuring out safety features. How about this one: My married friends tell me online dating is for losers. And you’re married friends solution is….??? And they know this how?

4. Self-care is not the same as selfish.
If you’re not taking care of yourself, who will?

5. Optimism leads to achievement.
If you think you are going to meet someone, you will. If you don’t, you won’t.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mom’s, those with Mom’s and those who are missing their Mom’s.

You know what? Last year (I looked), I had 6 children (well, adults) give their Mom a gift card to my service for Mother’sDay. I was thrilled. One Mom was not thrilled, 3 are dating someone seriously and the other 2 Moms are still dating.

Love,

Andrea McGinty and Luna
33000Dates.com
Dating Counselor and Dating Coach

You are riding high on the corporate ladder, and finally finding some ground in personal relationships too. It feels like those invisible landmines in your life have diffused. Between all this, suddenly one night you have a dream that you are pregnant. Pregnant? Now? But that’s not what you have been aspiring for. You wake up with questions and anxiety. You wonder if the signals are all too literal or if there is some other spiritual meaning of being pregnant in a dream.

Read on to understand what such pregnancy dreams mean and look into the possible spiritual explanations of such dreams. In this article, Swaty Prakash, a communication coach with certification in Managing Emotions in Times of Uncertainty and Stress from Yale University and a PG Diploma in Counseling and Family Therapy, breaks down the underlying pregnancy dreams meaning and discusses the common connotations of such dreams as well as the deeper spiritual meaning of being pregnant in a dream.

How Common Are Pregnancy Dreams?

Pregnant women often have dreams that involve newborn babies, labor pains, or even morning sickness. It is understandable given the anxiety and the slew of uncertainties that come with being pregnant. With the mind constantly harrowing about the ifs, buts, whys, and what ifs during these nine months, sleep hours too aren’t spared. Crazy pregnancy dreams often dog most of the sleep hours during the pregnancy period.

However, dreams of pregnancy are not restricted to pregnant women alone. A lot of women who are not even considering becoming pregnant in their waking moments, nor have the remotest hidden motherly instinct may have such dreams. They may wonder if societal pressure to get pregnant is playing on your mind, or is it something else?

Well, not all pregnancy dreams are about being pregnant. In fact, dreams of pregnancy are not even restricted to women, they are common among people of all genders, and have several biblical meanings, none of which are literally related to pregnancy.

This is because dreams can be a way your brain is processing and regulating emotions, or an indicator of some repressed feelings. So, while the pregnancy dream may mean that you are actually pregnant, that is not all it means. There may be myriad reasons why people dream. It could be a good sign, but it could also be an indicator of anxiety and repressed emotions. But before we delve deeper into the spiritual aspect or biblical meaning of such dreams, let us hear what are some of the popular explanations about why we dream at all.

• From wakefulness to dreams: Research corroborates the Continuity hypothesis, which believes that what we do in our waking hours continues in our dreams
•  Emotional regulation: Some experts believe that our dreams are the brain’s way to regulate emotions and help us find solutions and new ideas
•  Replays moments of reality: It is also believed that sometimes people dream to replay the moments of the waking hours to form better memory and to cement their presence in our lives
•  Free association: Sigmond Freud believed that irrespective of how bizarre your dreams are, they always mean something. It could be a repressed emotion or a truth even your conscious mind isn’t completely aware of

So, dream experts believe that there is a lot going on when you have crazy pregnancy dreams because as bizarre as the dream itself sounds, there is a deep connection between dreams and pregnancy. A lot of times the subconscious mind tries to tell us about focus and anxiety through a dream about this natural process of life. It could be a good sign or a warning sign, but dreams are almost always trying to convey something to us.

Related Reading: Motherhood or Career? Women’s Struggle Between Career and Family

5 Most Common Pregnancy Dreams

In the real world, pregnancy is a life-altering milestone for an individual. As Lauri Loewenberg, a certified dream expert and author, says, “In real life, when the body is pregnant, it is working hard to develop, build and create a new life that is precious and full of possibilities. In the dream world, when the body is pregnant, it reflects your ability to develop, work hard, and create a new life… for yourself that is precious and full of possibilities!”

So, even though studies suggest that pregnant women are more likely to have dreams about pregnancy, even non-pregnant women had similar dreams, though with different connotations.

So you might ask, “What do pregnancy dreams mean?” Well, all such dreams of pregnancy that represent any time or event from conception to finally having a baby are pregnancy dreams. Here are the five most common pregnancy dreams that people have.

1. Dreaming about a pregnancy test

A common pregnancy dream, when you have a vivid dream about a pregnancy test, could be a manifestation of your inner wish to get pregnant or start a family in real life. Are you yearning to be a parent or obsessing over having a baby? Well, if the answer is yes, then in all likelihood, the dream about a pregnancy test is simply mirroring your emotions.

However, if even in the deepest layers of your subconscious, pregnancy doesn’t ring a bell, dreams of pregnancy or even pregnancy symptoms could mean something else. It could mean that you need a new creative outlet to channel your creativity.

• A positive pregnancy test could mean you are embarking on a new venture or a new idea that requires your nurturing and focus. It could even mean you are starting a new relationship. If you experience joy while dreaming, it means this new phase is something that may bring with it a fresh lease on life
•  A negative pregnancy test could again mean a new responsibility but the negative result could be an extension of your inhibitions about taking up the new role
•   An unplanned pregnancy, uncomfortable physical changes, or pregnancy symptoms like nausea and morning sickness may also mean you so DO NOT want to get pregnant right now. The spiritual meaning of being pregnant in a dream with such details could mean that the fear of responsibility is making you anxious, or it could be reminder that you often end up self-sabotaging relationships.

2. Dreams about giving birth to an animal

For a lot of us, the closest to having a baby is having a pet. But imagine dreaming about giving birth to an animal. Pregnant or not, it sure qualifies as a bizarre dream in any human dictionary.

When Kimberly, 43, told Lauri about her dream, she was totally out of her wits. She said, “I dreamed last night I was in labor and found out I was almost ready to give birth to a seahorse! My dear friend was sitting in a glass room there for support and a woman was saying it was time to deliver then I woke up.”

The dream expert broke it down and told her that it meant that whatever creative project she was working on needed to be out in public now. “Time to deliver, girl!” she said. Sea horse, she explained, meant an emotional or creative outlet as a seahorse is a water creature, and water denotes creativity and emotions.

Sometimes, people dream of giving birth to cats, monkeys, pups, and even aliens! Each animal represents something different but all such weird pregnancy dreams mostly tell you about the creative process you are part of, and the anxiety you might be feeling due to it, say dream analysts.

Related Reading: What Is New Relationship Anxiety? 8 Signs And 5 Ways To Deal With It

3. Dreams about giving birth to an unusual-looking baby… or a monster

There is one very interesting aspect of dreams. While we have already discussed how they can’t always be taken literally and may have some psychological meaning attached, another one is that they are not how they look.

Simply put, if you gave birth to an unusual-looking baby or a monster in your dream, it doesn’t mean something THAT bad is in store for you. Contrary to that, dream experts say that it could mean that you are indulging in something that is out of your comfort zone. For example, if you are in an introvert who has just joined a dating site, the anxiety could be playing up, and the reason behind this dream. Dating and social anxiety aren’t the best buddies, you see!

4. You have twins or triplets

Now that could be a harrowing one for someone who is not even planning a pregnancy! A dream where you give birth to twins or triplets could mean that in real life, you are handling much more than you can manage. There is a spiritual meaning of being pregnant with twins in a dream but we will discuss that in a later section.

Meanwhile, if the dream is about sick or injured twins, it usually is a projection of the stress or anxiety you are feeling in your waking life. Maybe, you are in a new relationship, or job and you are afraid that you might not be able to handle it, or that you might fail.

Related Reading: “My Anxiety Is Ruining My Relationship”: 6 Ways It Does And 5 Ways To Manage It

5. Dreaming about being pregnant with ex’s baby

My friend, Natasha, got hyper-anxious when she had a dream of being pregnant with her ex’s baby. Her first question was, “Do I still love him? Is it a bad omen for my new relationship?”

Well, not really!

Dreaming about being pregnant with someone who is not in your life anymore may sound like a desperate wake-up call. And for sure, it sounds like a weird pregnancy dream. But it is yet another common pregnancy dream women have. This crazy dream doesn’t necessarily mean that you have suppressed, hidden feelings for your ex. Dream analysts say that such a pregnancy dream means quite the opposite actually.

It means that you are turning a new leaf and the past relationship has given you a new insight into the new life ahead of you. So, fret not and dream on!

What Is The Spiritual Meaning Of Being Pregnant In A Dream? 7 Possible Explanations

We have so far discussed the very basic meaning of dreams about pregnancy, but there is a whole other dimension to the world of dreams which is much more wholesome. Dreams take us where we wouldn’t tread in our waking life. Oftentimes, our dreams dive into the inaccessible folds of our inner self, which we often miss while going through the motions of life.

Tell me honestly. How many of us have the time, patience, or depth to pause and be in harmony with our spiritual being? How many of us can let the soul talk, while the more pragmatic practical self takes a backseat? How many of us can meditate and not actually sleep? Not many, I am afraid.

So dreams are the best way, for us, mere mortals, to come face-to-face with our spiritual selves. Dreams and pregnancy have a strange spiritual connection. Because dreams are the windows to our inner selves often unknown to us, they are also in a way our spiritual blueprint and the roadmap of a new life. Let us look at the spiritual meaning of someone being pregnant in a dream.

Related Reading: Spirituality Helped Me Heal My Relationship With A Cheating Partner

1. You are ready to be part of something bigger, grander

Pregnancy makes a woman one with nature, and her femininity takes a more defining shape. The pregnant woman glows with maternal love within her and she beams with part anxiety and part courage to take on this momentous change in her.
One of the popular spiritual meanings of being pregnant in dreams is that your inner self is now ready to embark on a much deeper spiritual journey. Such a dream is not a crazy dream, rather the biblical meaning of such a dream is that your spiritual being is guiding you and probably empowering you to take the first step on this journey. Yes, it could mean you are ready for a spiritual relationship with someone, and in all likeliness, that someone is you.

2. You are seeking an identity change

Pregnancy is probably the fastest way a woman’s identity is transformed at so many deeper levels. From the moment a woman discovers she is pregnant, she becomes a mother. Another spiritual meaning of being pregnant in dreams is that you want to get out of your mold or identity and take a new, better identity. Spiritually, it could mean that you are currently feeling stuck in your life, role, or identity, feeling trapped in a relationship, and are gearing up for a new healing in life.

3. Your inner child is craving attention

This explanation of what is the spiritual meaning of being pregnant in a dream may sound a little complicated in the first go. So let me break it down for you. Pregnancy is not just the birth of a baby, it is the birth of a mother too. A pregnant woman, right from the moment of awareness of this new change within her, becomes the nurturer and the protector of her baby.

In our everyday lives, marred with responsibilities and expectations, we often forget to tend to the inner child that stays within us. We grow up and often grow out of the bond we have with our inner child. But when this real, vulnerable self feels too smothered and ignored, it reaches out to us through our dreams.

That’s why being pregnant in a dream could mean that your inner child wants you to be the nurturer and protector. It is a spiritual call to move inwards and start paying attention to the inner being who craves your attention. Oftentimes when people are doing things or living a life that is stifling them, they might have such pregnancy dreams.

Sometimes, we may feel a unique attraction to someone even though we are in a happy relationship. Such dreams may be a way of your subconscious recognizing soulmate energy in this other person.

4. The road ahead isn’t that bumpy

Forgive the wordplay here but one of the explanations is that dreaming of the baby bump means that the future you are so anxious about is probably not as rough as you expect it to be. If you dream of having painless labor, its spiritual meaning is that all turmoil and tribulations you are going through presently in life are temporary.

Look at the larger picture and breathe in. It is all a matter of time before you would be able to figure out your reality and be able to fathom your inner self. The biblical meaning of this dream could be “Hang on, and dream on as life will soon fall in place.”

Meanwhile, the spiritual meaning of being pregnant with twins in a dream could be that your mind is juggling between a lot of things or you are torn between many crossroads. The dream of having twins is your subconscious mind warning you about your state of confusion and the emotional rollercoaster you are on.

Related Reading: 10 Signs From The Universe That Love Is Coming Your Way

5. You are the creator of what lies ahead

This one is an obvious explanation, isn’t it? Dreaming of becoming pregnant is a reminder that you and you alone are responsible for what begets your life. If you dream of giving birth to an ugly baby, the spiritual meaning of this could be that what you are succumbing to in waking life is your own creation.

Yes, in case you are having troubles in your personal bonds, the dream might be a way your inner self is telling you that you are the problem in your relationship and you need to realize that. It is your subconscious mind reminding you that you are the creator of your miseries and you are the one who can pave the path out of these miseries.

6. Your search is about to end

If you have a dream that you are heavily pregnant or in the third trimester of pregnancy, it could be that whatever you have been seeking would be sought soon. If you are going through an emotional turmoil or have been in a state of flux with a lot of questions and not enough answers, such a pregnancy dream denotes that this agony is about to end and you might be able to find the answers. Pregnancy dreams in people who are in grief can represent a closure or a new phase that would take them out of their grief cycle.

Related Reading: How Grief And Loss Of Loved Ones Impacts Your Relationships

7. You are exhausted from nurturing others

Let me share the dream of my 32-year-old client Samantha. Samantha has a brain-injured husband and an ailing mother-in-law. To make matters more complicated, she has a 15-year-old raging teenage daughter. Samantha dreamt of pregnancy and her only question was, “Why? I am not up for another baby, then why this dream? Strangely I knew that I was dreaming and I kept telling myself that this is so wrong.”

What Samantha had was a lucid dream of becoming pregnant. A lucid dream is when the dreamer is aware even while dreaming and often tries to control the vivid dream or remind their sleeping self that it is just a dream.

Let us interpret Samantha’s dream. So far, we have talked about the positive spiritual meanings of being pregnant in a dream, but there is a dream interpretation and meaning on the other side of the spectrum too. Samantha is the primary caregiver for her family members and the one shouldering a lot of responsibilities for too long. This pregnancy dream probably is her inner self reminding her that she is exhausted, and in an emotionally exhausting relationship.

Such dreams may indicate that while you have been the nurturer and the giver, your inner being now feels totally run down. Your subconscious mind is telling you through the dream that this nurturing is sapping you of all your energy and spirit.

Now we know that one dream can come with loads of meanings, and sometimes they might be about nothing in particular. It is important to keep a dream journal in case you have such pregnancy dreams on a regular basis. Introspect your life situation and start exploring what you want, try to listen to what your subconscious mind is trying to tell you, read about such dreams and you will soon know why you dreamt of an alien when in reality, all you are worried about is finding a love story in the arranged marriage that you have agreed for finally!

FAQs

When You Dream About Someone Are They Thinking Of You

4 Types Of Soulmates And Deep Soul Connection Signs

How To Cope With Infertility In A Relationship

A brief look around the modern landscape will reveal the prevalence and importance of technology. However, there are many things that you may not know about these types of jobs. If you’re thinking about a career in technology, read on to learn more about the incredible opportunities in this field.

Not All Tech Jobs Require a Degree

You might assume that technology jobs require an advanced degree, but this isn’t always the case. You can get into an entry-level tech job, like a computer support specialist, with as little as an associate or postsecondary degree. Just 43% of IT support workers have a bachelor’s degree.

You can also get into a tech job with a liberal arts degree supplemented by an IT certification or completion of a tech boot camp. Since the technology industry is always changing, recent certifications are often worth far more than degrees that were obtained even a few years ago. Staying on top of the latest developments in a practical and actionable way increases your value in this industry significantly.

Tech Jobs Exist in Numerous Industries

You might equate technology jobs with a strictly tech-related industry, but that’s a misunderstanding of how technology fits into the current landscape. Tech jobs can now be found in virtually any industry. In fact, some of the highest-paying industries for tech positions are transportation, education, and communication. The average tech salary in transportation is $145,000. Those in education command an average salary of $135,000, and tech positions in communications pay $133,000 on average.

Paying attention to the industry will make a dramatic difference in your earnings potential when you’re considering tech jobs. For example, web and digital interface designers have a median annual wage of $79,890, but those working in finance and insurance make an average of $99,640. Don’t limit the scope of your job search, and you may find a surprising range of opportunities available.

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Also Read: 6 Female Influencers To Follow In The Blockchain Industry

Tech Opportunities Are on the Rise

If you’re interested in a job in a rapidly growing industry, you can’t do much better than technology. While the average rate of growth for all jobs in the U.S. is just 5%, there are many tech positions growing at a rate in excess of 30% over the coming decade. For example, positions for data scientists are expected to increase 36% over the 2021 to 2031 decade. Employment for information security analysts should increase 35%.

If you want to position yourself at the forefront of technology advancements, you can get involved in artificial intelligence, which has a compound annual growth rate of 26.5% between 2022 and 2026, compared to just 6.3% for global IT. Spending on AI is expected to exceed $300 billion by 2026. 

Also Read: 5 Ways Team Training Can Aid An Organization’s Success

Professional Skills Are as Important as Tech Expertise

Tech skills are essential for many positions in the technology industry, but this isn’t the only thing that matters. Working at CareerBuilder, you’ll quickly see that employers look for well-rounded workers above all else. Professional skills are quickly becoming the determining factor for these types of jobs. Interpersonal skills are incredibly important to IT professionals. While your co-workers may speak fluent HTML or C++, others in the company will not. You must know how to communicate clearly and efficiently with everyone in the company, regardless of their familiarity with technology, programming languages, and coding.

Tech professionals often work in teams alongside those in other departments like sales, marketing, and development. You need to have the ability to collaborate successfully with them even if it seems like you’re speaking different languages (and in some ways, you are). Critical thinking and organization are extremely important in the tech industry as well, particularly for a position such as data scientist or data analysis. 

You Don’t Have to Work in Silicon Valley

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There’s a common misconception that you have to be in Silicon Valley to get the best jobs in tech, but this is far from the only place where you’ll snag an outstanding job in this field. New York City, Los Angeles, and Washington, D.C. all offer a plethora of options for tech positions. A growing number of tech jobs are going to remote workers who can complete their work from anywhere. It no longer matters where you live. If you’re interested in scoring an outstanding technology position, you can do it nearly anywhere. 

The tech industry offers a seemingly endless range of opportunities for those who have an aptitude for science and math, as well as the right set of soft skills to round out their resumes. Start exploring the options now.

Festive & Patriotic 4th of July Crafts

Oh, my stars! Are you ready to make your Independence Day spangled and sparkling? Do you want to express your All-American patriotism with red, white, and blue paints, ribbons, and streamers? You’re in luck because we’ve got 45 of the cutest 4th of July crafts the whole family will love! It’s time to party like it’s 1776, baby! Check it all out below!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. To learn more about ’em, click here.

We’ve got a variety of red, white, and blue crafts for you to make, with categories from crafts for kids and adults to wreaths, streamers, garlands, and outdoor crafts! All of our patriotic crafts are sure to make you proud to be living in the beautiful U.S.A.!

Table of Contents

1. Festive & Patriotic 4th of July Crafts
2. 4th of July Crafts: Kids
3. 4th of July Crafts: Adults + Older Kiddos & Teens
4. 4th of July Crafts: Streamers, Wreaths, & Garlands
5. 4th of July Crafts: Outdoor

4th of July Crafts: Kids

1. Red, White, & Blue Star Wand Craft (Rhythms of Play): Your kiddos will love running around with this easy, no-sew wand craft!

2. 3-Ingredient Patriotic Sidewalk Chalk (Artsy Fartsy Mama): Made withplaster of Paris and tempera paints, this red, white, and blue craft will also wash off your driveway easily with water. Don’t forget some cute star silicone molds!

3. Salt-Painted Fireworks (The Best Ideas for Kids): All you need is the free printable, salt, glue, and paint! Your kids will go wild over these simple Fourth of July crafts!

4. Pop-Up Homemade Firework Craft (Kids Craft Room): This DIY craft is perfect for letting your little one enjoy the magic of fireworks again and again!

5. Melted Bead Stars (One Little Project): Grab some red, white, and blue pony beads and metal star-shaped cookie cutters, and you are good to go for this cute U.S.A. craft!

6. 4th of July Confetti Eggs (Happiness is Homemade): Traditionally named “cascarones,” your kids will love to make and smash these hollowed-out eggs filled with confetti paper!

7. Patriotic Crown (A Pumpkin and a Princess): Every all-American princess needs her very own all-American crown!

8. Patriotic Chalk Driveway Stars (Fun Learning for Kids): Use stencils and DIY chalk paint to make your driveway spangled and sparkling!

9. Patriotic Duck Tape Parade Stick (Crafts by Amanda): Your kids need this to wave around if you are going to a parade to celebrate the good ol’ U.S.A. this year!

10. Patriotic Necklace (Buggy and Buddy): Use pony beads and cut-up paper straws to make this simple yet adorable necklace!

11. Foam Firecracker Slingshot (Lolly Jane): Festive, fun, and cheap to make, your kids will be ready for an epic firecracker slingshot war!

12. Fireworks Painting (Happiness is Homemade): Known as one of the most classic Fourth of July crafts for kids, this must-do craft is perfect for celebrating America’s birthday!

13. Star-Spangled Slime (MomDot): Slime—kids love it! Parents … not so much! But we keep on making it for our kids, so we can’t hate it too much, right?

14. 4th of July Star Sun Catchers (The Suburban Mom): Don’t throw away those old, broken, red, white, and blue crayons! Make sun catchers instead! These would look so pretty hanging in a window!

15. Ribbon Wand (This Grandma is Fun): Your little ones will not only love making these cute flag crafts, but they will also always remember waving it around at a 4th of July parade!

4th of July Crafts: Adults + Older Kiddos & Teens

16. Tie-Dye American Flag Towel (Live Free Creative Company): The best part about this craft is that you can use it all summer long, year after year!

17. Red, White, and Blue Bandana Headbands (Cutesy Crafts): All you need is bandanas and elastic, and you can choose to sew them or make them with hot glue. We think this would be great for teens or tweens to make!

18. Patriotic Paper Flowers (Live Laugh Rowe): Aren’t these paper flowers just darling? All you need is patriotic scrapbook paper, fasteners, and some scissors!

19. Festive Cups (No Biggie): This is such a fun project for older kids and teens! Plus, the double cup will keep your drink extra insulated!

20. Fourth of July Ponytail Holder (Skip To My Lou): Just grab some elastic ponytail holders and red, white, and blue bandanas to make these easy patriotic crafts.

21. DIY Confetti Bombs (Club Crafted): It’s a well-known fact that kids and teens love making a mess, so this will be right up their alley! Let freedom ring with your very own DIY confetti bombs!

22. 4th of July Stitching Cards (Handmade Charlotte): These printable stitching cards are truly unique 4th of July crafts! After you are done, you can hang these cards on the fridge or string them on a garland.

23. Bomb Pop Soap (The Makeup Dummy): These color block melt-and-pour soap pops would look so cute in your bathroom, and older kids and teens would love making them! Just make sure little ones don’t try to take a bite out of them!

24. Paper Butterflies (Average But Inspired): These classy paper butterfly crafts can be used for casual outdoor parties or as patriotic decor for your home. Either way, we know your kiddos will love making these!

25. 4th of July DIY Bath Bombs (The Makeup Dummy): Relax and unwind in star-spangled style with these patriotic-themed bath bombs!

26. Crochet Patriotic Heart (Golden Lucy Crafts): These crochet-heart flag crafts are just darling! The full tutorial can be found on her website.

27. Cherry Berry Sugar Scrub (Savvy Naturalistic): Not only is this sugar scrub beautiful and festive, but it also smells delicious, too!

4th of July Crafts: Streamers, Wreaths, & Garlands

28. Patriotic Ribbon Wreath (Landeelu): We love the cute touch of the mini patriotic bunting! You can get the full tutorial and the printable for the bunting on her site!

29. Firework Ribbon Garland (The Benson Street): Super simple yet super cute, this firework ribbon garland would look so festive displayed on a mantle or outside, on a porch or fence!

30. Paper Rosette Wreath (Little Red Window): Made with just scrapbook paper and cardboard, a cute patriotic wreath doesn’t get easier than this!

31. Patriotic Tissue Paper Tassel Garland (Landeelu): Whip up this festive garland in no time and show how much you love the U.S.A!

32. American Flag Clothespin Wreath (Kippi at Home): Not only is this Fourth of July craft cheap, but it’s really simple to make, too. All you need is a wire wreath frame, clothespins, and spray paint!

33. Rag Ribbon Garland (The Ribbon Retreat): Rag ribbon garlands are so great because they store easily, and you can use them year after year!

34. Straw-Burst Wreath (Woman’s Day): This wreath is poppin’ like fireworks on the Fourth of July! Grab your patriotic straws here!

4th of July Crafts: Outdoor

35. Patriotic Ribbon, Lace & Fabric Scrap Flag (Craftiments): We think this shabby, chic scrap flag would look darling on your porch!

36. Stars & Stripes Painted Flower Pot (Lolly Jane): This would look so cute on the porch filled with red, white, and blue flowers! Just make sure you use a fast-drying sealer, so the paint won’t come off when you water the flowers.

37. Patriotic DIY Windsock (Design Improvised): We love how these are made from clear plastic paint cans! They are super lightweight and easy to hang from your porch.

38. Patriotic Utensil Holders (Landeelu): These darling utensil holders will add just the right amount of festiveness to your 4th of July picnic or BBQ!

39. Firework Drink Stirrers (Studio DIY): Whip these up in a jiffy with skewers, red, white, and blue paper, and gold tassels!

40. DIY 4th of July Picnic Blanket (Design Improvised): This sturdy picnic blanket is made using a painter’s drop cloth. Not only are they inexpensive, but they wash up nicely, too!

41. Bandana Tablecloth (This Grandma is Fun): You’ll need just a little bit of sewing skills for this craft, but it’s actually really easy! Simply sew red, white, and blue bandanas together!

42. Ombre Spray-Painted Party Tub (Mad in Crafts): This patriotic tub is such a fun way to keep your drinks and food cool for your Independence Day celebrations!

43. Drip Painting Mason Jars (MomDot): Not only are these patriotic crafts really easy to make, but they would also look great as centerpieces at an Independence Day BBQ!

44. Patriotic Painted Glass Bottles (All Things G&D): Do you have extra glass bottles hanging around? Then, this patriotic craft is for you!

45. Recyclable Plastic Bottle Lanterns (Handmade Charlotte): How cute would these be hanging outside at your 4th of July BBQ?

There’s more where that came from! Take a look at our other bold and brave posts below:

Some will argue the espresso martini was originally a mashup of an in-the-moment demand on a bartender famous for his skill at ginning up really good creative drinks on the spot.

Others believe the drink was already planned and the same bartender was just really good at seeing an opportunity to try a new idea. Either way, the creation of the espresso martini and its simplistic but powerful ingredients hit the spot just right.

A Combo Depth-Charge

Dubbed the “pick me up” martini, the espresso martini is, as one supermodel put it, something that gives me energy and can knock me on my rear at the same time.

That seemingly diametrically opposed combination was served up with a combination of ice, vodka, espresso, and Kahlua with nothing else. Granted, some finesse after the fact added a bit of dressing with a few coffee beans sprinkled on top, but they do nothing for the actual substance of the drink. On the other hand, recent choices with parmesan cheese, for example, are adding even more flavor.

Also Read: 10 Different Types of Coffee That You Must Try

Choose Your Vodka and Coffee Bean Wisely

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As a primary ingredient, the liquor chosen makes a big difference. Use some generic well-drank vodka, and the espresso martini is guaranteed to taste horrible. Premium vodka is a must, no question about it. This aspect is clearly where a bit of investment pays off incredibly well in the final product.

Additionally, a well-crafted vodka will complement the espresso by matching its strong, bitter taste with the varied aspects of the vodka’s ingredients, much the same way an Irish whiskey coffee works with liquid integration. Bostonians are seeing a run for money in many bars as a result.

A key factor on the coffee bean side as well as the espresso chose. Use a light roast espresso derived from a light coffee bean selection and the taste will fall flat. The better choices are clearly the medium to dark roast for the richest, fullest body espresso mix in the drink. Do not, by any means, try to substitute regular coffee for espresso. While both are derived from a given coffee bean, regular coffee is just too watered down. It will have the effect of diluting the martini versus giving it a rich flavor. Instead, opt for espresso powder if you need to substitute.

Also Read: What Cocktail You Should Have As Per your Zodiac Sign

Don’t Forget the Process

One of the interesting aspects of espresso martini ingredients when mixed together tends to be the frothing that occurs in the process. This creamy head in a finished espresso martini is a result of both the shaking as well as the involvement of coffee oil, oxygen, and carbon dioxide being released in the various ingredients, particularly the liquids. Add in an additional sugar chemical reaction due to the Kahlua involved, and things can get a bit sudsy. It’s also what makes the espresso martini such a standout from other cocktail choices.

Again, the actual espresso martini ingredients required are not a long list; one can count them on one hand. The beauty of the drink comes in how, with its own chemical synergy, the combined ingredients produce a culinary experience people want again and again in a cocktail.

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This is why the espresso martini continues to be asked for again and again, but you can easily make your own at home as well and not feel left out.

5 Odd Online Dating Stories/Mishaps

You know the weirdest things about online dating? You can’t make these up—people really do these things. Or have mishaps. And they are intelligent well-educated people. Read on and keep a sense of humor here!

And, remember most people are like you and I—looking for a relationship and normal.

1. An Allergy

My client Analee went on a fun first date with Scott, a 55-year-old attorney in Scottsdale two weeks ago. On the second date, he invited her to his favorite sushi restaurant. The date was progressing nicely, and he ordered sake for them both, which both of them had never had. (They’d just had a glass of wine). Suddenly, he stopped in mid-sentence, went red in the face, couldn’t speak and made the universal signal for choking. Except he wasn’t choking.

Annalee is an ER doc and saw the signs of an allergic reaction—anaphylaxis—and asked him if he had an epi pen or allergies. He could barely respond so she stood up at the sushi bar and yelled: does anyone have an Epi pen? A teenage girl ran over with her pen and Annalee injected him. Yep, who knew he was allergic to sake??? He was fine after—-though they left and went to a steakhouse.

He called her the next day to schedule another date—-and said “Just think if this turns into a long-term romance, the story we will have”.

And thanked her profusely.

2. Profile includes Dating Horror Stories

Ok, working with Dan, a 53-year-old business man in NYC last week, we stumbled on a lovely woman—great photos, interesting profile and then boom.

She closed out her 4-paragraph profile with this: “On my last 3 online dates, one took me to an exclusive restaurant then had the nerve to want to split the bill. I went to the restroom and left him with the check. So rude. The other two wouldn’t answer my in-depth questions about their ex’s—so if you’re not an open book and willing to pay on the date, don’t bother”.

Really, truly. Just what the heck is she thinking? Dan and I laughed a bit then moved on. Yes, she needs a coach!!!

3. Profile includes a disclaimer

What? Is this a legal document? A confidentiality agreement? An NDA? You are online, buddy!

So, as a dating coach working with Maria on Saturday, a funny, cute 49-year-old business exec, we chose and wrote a few men that seemed right up her alley. Then we stumbled on Tony, a 55-year-old architect who looked awesome until we hit these lines on his profile:

“You are not allowed by law to share my information. Do not print, copy or in any way use images of my photos, profile or any given information. This is unlawful and I will take action”. And it was in screaming caps.

Oh, boy. Tony sounds sue happy. What’s up with this? Run. Block.

4. The Drink
Tim, 65, is a delightful, southern gentleman client I love working with from Texas.

While on a first date last week for drinks with Lana, a glass of wine showed up at the table for him. The cocktail waitress said it was sent over by a woman sitting at the bar. Both Tim and Lana turned for a look, and it was an old girlfriend of his still harboring feelings. With finesse, he gave her a little wave and handed the drink to Lana. Classy. The old girlfriend never bothered them again.

Yep, they have a 2nd date planned this week.

5. The Plate/Glass Connoisseur

I think this is funny…and since I like unique dinnerware, I wish I’d been on this date!

Saturday night Arianna, 63, in Palm Beach, Fl went on a first dinner date with Michael, 66. It was a lovely restaurant on the intracoastal and she commented on the gorgeous plates and unique wine goblets.

As they left the restaurant, the maître d’ handed Michael a large box. As he walked her to the car, he asked he to pop her trunk. She was a bit taken aback and he proceeded to put the box in her trunk and said “I’d like to see you again and I hope you enjoy these”.

And what was in the box? A set of four plates and goblets.

Wow, what a great date!

6 And, he brought his son.
Ok, he couldn’t find a babysitter and brought his 4-year-old on a date. Think there was a 2nd date as the little boy threw food and cried. Oh my.

So, the one thing I do know about dating: expect the unexpected. That doesn’t mean bad—or great, but it usually is interesting. And I love listening to these stories on a daily basis from my clients!

Much love and Happy dating,

Andrea McGinty
Founder, It’s Just Lunch (sold) and 33000Dates.com

This piece first appeared in our weekly newsletter, The Fallout. Sign up for it here.

The most extreme and violent corners of the anti-abortion movement are more emboldened than ever, thanks to the Supreme Court reversing Roe v. Wade last June.

That’s the inevitable conclusion to draw from the 2022 Violence and Disruption Report, which the National Abortion Federation released this morning. The annual report details an alarming increase in major incidents like arson, clinic invasion, and death threats.

How sharp were some of the increases? Incidents of arson at clinics were up 100 percent in 2022 compared to the year prior. But that seems almost tame compared to the increase in incidents of stalking of abortion providers, patients, and staff in the year since Roe fell: an astounding 229 percent.

States that moved to protect abortion access leading up to and in the wake of the decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization experienced a disproportionate increase in clinic violence and disruption—stalking incidents increased by 913 percent in abortion-protective states. In other words, the worst of the anti-abortion movement directly targeted the areas they knew had some level of abortion access remaining.

In a press call before the report’s release, NAF Security Director Michelle Davidson said anti-abortion groups had issued a call-to-action to move to states that have moved to protect access.

“Their ultimate goal is to eliminate abortion facilities across the country, by any means necessary,” Davidson said.

The numbers really are staggering, and they become bone-chilling when you attach them to individuals simply trying to provide or receive reproductive health care. And when you fold this violence into the overall increase in targeted violence like the most recent mall shooting and migrant attack out of Texas—two major stories becoming blips in a narrative of increasing fascist violence in this country—it’s terrifying.

I was pretty new to journalism when Dr. George Tiller was murdered in 2009, shot in his Kansas church by Scott Roeder. But I’ll never forget covering that story. I still remember where I was and who I was with when the news broke. I remember the atmosphere in Kansas leading up to his murder where Republicans in office often encouraged the worst of the anti-abortion movement.

It was that ongoing permission from the state to carry out targeted harassment and violence against abortion providers that ultimately created the conditions where Tiller’s murder was possible. I worry we are in a more amplified version of Kansas at the moment and don’t have clear messages from the Biden administration that this kind of threat and intimidation cannot stand.

The FACE Act exists for a reason. The Biden administration should enforce it.

Do you have to wear heels on a date as a single woman over 50???

 

You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.

I first started dating when I was in my mid 40’s.

Back then; I was dressing like a suburban mom who sits in the stands watching her kids play sports.

My outfits pretty much consisted of jeans and black t-shirts.

They came from expensive stores so I thought I was the bomb.

To top my outfit off, I wore fake Birkenstocks type sandals in either black, beige or navy (colors weren’t the rage back then like they are now).

What can I say; they were cheaper than the real Birkenstocks so I splurged.

Yes, I was a real fashion maven back then. NOT!!!!!

When I was ready to date, I’d tear through my closet looking for something to wear.

I’d try on every black t-shirt I owned with my jeans and fake Birkenstocks and not one said I feel like a sexy woman excited to date.

I wasn’t getting a lot of second dates back then and I’m sure my clothes weren’t exactly helping!

It took me into my early 50’s to figure out how to go on a date feeling girly as in feeling soft and feminine.

Want to know what part of your outfit will make you feel the most girly?

Heels.

No worries, you don’t need the 6-inch variety to make you feel girly.

1-2 inch heels can make a big difference in how you feel because heels give off a totally different vibe in the way you walk and move than athletic shoes, Uggs or even some flats do.

And men love heels on women.

They think heels make you look sexy!

Let me share a quick story with you about what I mean by all of this.

A client of mine sent me her profile pictures for me to review.

In her pictures, she was wearing a slightly different version of my Soccer Mom outfit . . . jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt, and cowboy boots.

She told me men weren’t noticing her online.

Remember you have all of 10 seconds to grab a man’s attention with your picture before he moves on to someone else and that’s why it’s so important you show your best possible in any picture you post on a dating site.

My client and I worked closely together to boost her inner confidence by helping her get back in touch with how awesome she really was.

And then something amazing happened.

Her outside look began changing, as she felt better about who she was on the inside.

She restyled her hair, went to a makeup counter and tried new makeup.

She bought clothes like dresses, skirts, and heels that reflected her feminine side for the first time ever.

She also had new pictures taken and men were jumping hoops to meet her.

These pictures were totally different from the first ones I’d seen because she was feeling great about herself on the inside and the changes she made to her appearance reflected that!

Using all the dating tools I taught her, she got out there and started dating and today is happily married to an amazing man.

Ok, so back to the original question . . . do you have to wear heels on a date?

The answer is NO!

But what you do want to do is this . . . you want to feel great inside about who you are or nothing you wear will ever feel right.

Get your Inner Sexy on then wear clothes that reflect both the Inner and Outer Beautiful Sexy YOU.

When you feel girly, you come across from that softer side of you.

And as a result, as my client experienced, men will jump hoops so they can meet you!

Want to know how over 50’s men feel about dating in the second half of their life?

A man named Lee reached out to me to share his frustrations with the over 50’s dating scene.

We did an interview together that I wanted to share with you so you can see what it’s like for over 50’s men who are out there trying to find love.

Click here to listen now.

Would love to hear what you think about heels and creating your inner beauty.

Just click the button below and let me know your thoughts.

Big hugs ~

Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog.

Copyright© 2023 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.

On May 10, 2023   /   Dating Advice Over 50  

Do you have to wear heels on a date as a single woman over 50???

 

You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.

I first started dating when I was in my mid 40’s.

Back then; I was dressing like a suburban mom who sits in the stands watching her kids play sports.

My outfits pretty much consisted of jeans and black t-shirts.

They came from expensive stores so I thought I was the bomb.

To top my outfit off, I wore fake Birkenstocks type sandals in either black, beige or navy (colors weren’t the rage back then like they are now).

What can I say; they were cheaper than the real Birkenstocks so I splurged.

Yes, I was a real fashion maven back then. NOT!!!!!

When I was ready to date, I’d tear through my closet looking for something to wear.

I’d try on every black t-shirt I owned with my jeans and fake Birkenstocks and not one said I feel like a sexy woman excited to date.

I wasn’t getting a lot of second dates back then and I’m sure my clothes weren’t exactly helping!

It took me into my early 50’s to figure out how to go on a date feeling girly as in feeling soft and feminine.

Want to know what part of your outfit will make you feel the most girly?

Heels.

No worries, you don’t need the 6-inch variety to make you feel girly.

1-2 inch heels can make a big difference in how you feel because heels give off a totally different vibe in the way you walk and move than athletic shoes, Uggs or even some flats do.

And men love heels on women.

They think heels make you look sexy!

Let me share a quick story with you about what I mean by all of this.

A client of mine sent me her profile pictures for me to review.

In her pictures, she was wearing a slightly different version of my Soccer Mom outfit . . . jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt, and cowboy boots.

She told me men weren’t noticing her online.

Remember you have all of 10 seconds to grab a man’s attention with your picture before he moves on to someone else and that’s why it’s so important you show your best possible in any picture you post on a dating site.

My client and I worked closely together to boost her inner confidence by helping her get back in touch with how awesome she really was.

And then something amazing happened.

Her outside look began changing, as she felt better about who she was on the inside.

She restyled her hair, went to a makeup counter and tried new makeup.

She bought clothes like dresses, skirts, and heels that reflected her feminine side for the first time ever.

She also had new pictures taken and men were jumping hoops to meet her.

These pictures were totally different from the first ones I’d seen because she was feeling great about herself on the inside and the changes she made to her appearance reflected that!

Using all the dating tools I taught her, she got out there and started dating and today is happily married to an amazing man.

Ok, so back to the original question . . . do you have to wear heels on a date?

The answer is NO!

But what you do want to do is this . . . you want to feel great inside about who you are or nothing you wear will ever feel right.

Get your Inner Sexy on then wear clothes that reflect both the Inner and Outer Beautiful Sexy YOU.

When you feel girly, you come across from that softer side of you.

And as a result, as my client experienced, men will jump hoops so they can meet you!

Want to know how over 50’s men feel about dating in the second half of their life?

A man named Lee reached out to me to share his frustrations with the over 50’s dating scene.

We did an interview together that I wanted to share with you so you can see what it’s like for over 50’s men who are out there trying to find love.

Click here to listen now.

Would love to hear what you think about heels and creating your inner beauty.

Just click the button below and let me know your thoughts.

Big hugs ~

Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog.

Copyright© 2023 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.

On May 10, 2023   /   Dating Advice Over 50  

Sex Tips

Despite what you may have learned in Sunday school or on your favorite No Fap website, masturbation is a natural and healthy expression of sexuality.  It’s a form of sexual activity that can (and should) be enjoyed by people of all ages and genders.  Masturbation is a way to explore your body and sexuality.  And in a fast-paced world full of anxiety-inducing happenings, masturbation can be your moment of Zen, time you take to really submerge yourself in pleasure.

Even with all these potential benefits, masturbation remains a dirty word for a lot of people out there.  There are whole corners on the internet devoted to masturbation misinformation.  As a sexual health expert, I hear misconceptions about masturbation all the time.  Everything from how often one should masturbate to how self-pleasure has a negative impact on relationships, sexual function, testosterone, and even athletic performance.

Well, I’m here to set the record straight and to shed some light on the facts about getting off on your own.  What follows is an exploration of the scientific evidence on masturbation in an attempt to answer the question of how masturbation impacts various aspects of health and sexuality.

First, let’s define some terms.  Masturbation is the act of sexually stimulating oneself to the point of orgasm.  This is done alone most of the time, but it doesn’t have to be just you and your hand.  Masturbation can involve the use of vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, you name it.  Sometimes masturbation can involve genital touch, but it can also involve caressing other erogenous parts of your body.  And masturbation can even be done with others.  Masturbating with your partner can be more fun than flying solo.  It’s also a way for them to see exactly how you like to get off, which they can use to their (and your) advantage next time you’re getting busy.

Masturbation and relationships.

There has been much written about the association between masturbation and relationships.  It’s a topic that has fascinated science and medicine for more than 100 years.  Some older ways of thinking suggested that people in relationships who masturbate regularly must be somehow dissatisfied or unfulfilled.  While admittedly there is a paucity of research on this specific topic, there is no study that I am aware of that demonstrates a link between masturbation by a person in a relationship and sexual dissatisfaction.  Despite this, many people still become displeased when they discover their romantic partner is masturbating.  They feel that this reflects negatively on them, leaving them feeling like they are not enough.  But the available research suggests the very opposite: routine masturbation in a relationship can be incredibly healthy.

In the mid 20^th century, Alfred Kinsey uncovered a link between sexual satisfaction in relationships and prior orgasmic experiences.  Specifically, his work suggested that women who had not experienced orgasm before marriage were much less likely to be orgasmic with their spouses.  In other words, masturbation before marriage is an important means of garnering sexual satisfaction with your potential future partner.  Additional research from the 1990s found that married women who masturbate have greater marital and sexual satisfaction than women who avoid masturbation.  And like we discussed previously, masturbating with your spouse of partner next to you can teach them how to push your buttons in bed more precisely.

Masturbation and sexual function.

I can’t tell you how many men I see in my practice who believe that masturbation is inherently wrong and somehow the cause of their sexual dysfunction.  It is beliefs like this that have led to thousands of Reddit forums on the negative impacts of masturbation and fostered the rise of the No Fap and No Nut November movements.  No Fap is an online community built around giving up masturbation altogether as a means of overcoming what their members believe to be an addiction to self-gratification and/or pornography.  No Nut November, as you can imagine, is a program that encourages male participants to avoid masturbation during the month of November.   In the last decade, it has gained in popularity via social media.  These male sexual abstinence movements are not based in science and, in many cases, are vehemently anti-science.  They are often also embraced, propagated, and espoused by far-right extremists and religious fundamentalists.  Several studies on No Fap communities have found their approach to pornography to be harmful and suggested that their unhealthy commitments to abstinence may actually promote real-world violence and misogyny.

The reality is that there is no evidence that masturbation has a negative impact on sexual function.  In fact, some studies have shown that masturbation may actually help to improve sexual function.  For example, several studies have suggested men who masturbate more frequently are more likely to report having satisfying sexual experiences.  In a study of male and female college students, those who masturbated frequently also engaged in intercourse more frequently and had more sexual partners (Pinkerton).

It’s important to note that studies on masturbation are limited and we definitely need more research.  It’s also important to keep in mind that masturbation may have a different impact on different people.  This may have to do with how they were brought up and how they feel about sex and masturbation in general.  Ideas about masturbation are inherently influenced by religious and sociocultural mores.  Some people may find that masturbation helps them to improve their sexual function, while others may find that it has no impact or even a negative impact.

Ultimately, the impact of masturbation on sexual function is likely to vary from person to person.  While there is nothing inherently wrong with masturbation, it can sometimes have detrimental effects on a particular individual.  For instance, if someone masturbates so frequently that they begin to avoid contact with potential sexual and romantic partners and/or neglect important aspects of everyday life like school work or domestic responsibilities, then there may very well be a problem that needs addressing.  If you are worried about the impact masturbation may be having on your sexual function, it is worth voicing your concern to a healthcare provider and/or mental health professional.

Masturbation and testosterone.

The quick takeaway here is that there is no evidence that masturbation and/or ejaculation has any long-term or negative effects on testosterone levels.  Let’s step back for a minute and discuss what testosterone is exactly and why it’s important.

Testosterone (T) is a sex-steroid hormone that plays a critical role in male sexual development and health, as well as in the maintenance of muscle mass and bone density.  Testosterone is closely linked to your sex drive, or libido.  This is true for everyone regardless of their sex.  Levels of testosterone are not constant, but change over the course of one’s life and even fluctuate throughout the day.  Testosterone tends to be higher during adolescence, peaking in your 20s before beginning a steady decline as you age.  Testosterone is also higher in the morning.  Testosterone levels naturally rise during masturbation and sex, then fall back to regular levels after orgasm.

Older research suggests that ejaculation from masturbation does not have any significant effect on serum T levels.  A 2001 study found that 3 weeks of abstinence among male participants caused a mild increase in testosterone levels (Exton).  Keep in mind the latter study was conducted on only a small cohort of 10 men.  On the other hand, some studies have shown that masturbation may actually help to increase testosterone levels.  In any case, the effects—positive or negative—that masturbation may have on testosterone appear to be transient.

We should pause here to say that while masturbation does not seem to have any long-term impacts on testosterone levels, if you’re experiencing symptoms of low T it’s important to seek help.  Low testosterone symptoms include:

• Lack of energy and/or motivation
• Decreased or lack of sex drive
• Difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection
• Decline in ejaculatory volume
• Los of hair on your scalp, face, and/or body
• Loss of muscle and/or bone mass
• Weight gain or increased body fat
• Unexpected changes in mood or anxiety.

Lifestyle choices like smoking and excessive alcohol consumption, not masturbation, may be to blame.  Other medical factors like hypertension and diabetes can also negatively impact testosterone levels.

Testosterone and athletic performance.

The impact of masturbation on athletic performance is a topic of great debate, with many conflicting opinions and beliefs.  It seems like every time the World Cup or Olympics resurface, we hear stories of athletes abstaining from sex in an attempt to boost their athletic prowess.  Because masturbation affects testosterone levels in only minor short-term ways, it shouldn’t negatively affect athletic performance.  Avoiding self-gratification before a big meet or competition can help you focus on your craft or sport, but there’s no evidence it has a direct physiological effect on building muscle or athletic ability.

Some believe that masturbation and sexual activity might even enhance athletic performance.  The potential benefits or masturbation on the body include reduction of stress and anxiety, improved mood and sleep, and decreased muscle tension.  Some studies have found that sexual activity in athletes can lead to improved reaction time and hand-eye coordination.  So, it’s not hard to imagine how masturbation could potentially boost your athletic abilities.  But the truth is there’s no evidence that masturbation affects athletic performance in any meaningful way.

Conclusion.

There is no clear evidence that masturbation has a negative impact on relationships, sexual function, testosterone levels, or athletic performance.  In fact, some studies have suggested quite the opposite.  Masturbation is a natural and healthy sexual activity that can provide pleasure and create intimacy with your partner, when done right.  So, if you enjoy masturbating, there’s no need to feel guilty or worried about the impact it might have on your sexual health or performance.  Just do what feels right for you and enjoy the many benefits of self-gratification.  And remember: if you’re unsure if your masturbatory habits are having detrimental effects, discuss your concerns with a health care provider or mental health professional before blindly believing what you read on the internet about the potential harms of masturbation.

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Joshua R. Gonzalez, MD, is a board-certified and fellowship-trained urologist and sexual medicine specialist who focuses on managing sexual dysfunctions in men and women at his self-named practice, Joshua R. Gonzalez, MD, in the West Hollywood neighborhood of Los Angeles, California.

Pinkerton S, Cecil H, Bogart L, Abramson P. The pleasures of sex: An empirical investigation. Cogn Emot. 2003 Mar;17(2):341-353. doi: 10.1080/02699930302291. PMID: 29715727.

Exton MS, Krüger TH, Bursch N, Haake P, Knapp W, Schedlowski M, Hartmann U. Endocrine response to masturbation-induced orgasm in healthy men following a 3-week sexual abstinence. World J Urol. 2001 Nov;19(5):377-82. doi: 10.1007/s003450100222. PMID: 11760788.