Category: Dating & Love

Mutual chemistry signs between two people can be a tough concept to define. Is it the elusive, indefinable ‘spark’ you feel when you instantly ‘click’ with someone? Is it the sizzle of physical attraction or a really, really great conversation where you feel you’re both on the same page about everything? Is relationship chemistry a major building block, or can we do without it?

“It feels as if I have unbeatable chemistry that is physical in nature with people I have absolutely nothing else in common with, especially on a first date,” complains Alex, “And then I’ll meet a really nice guy but no chemistry. At least not the same sort of instant attraction I usually feel. It’ll be good to talk to them and hang out and spend lots of time together, but that spark seems to be missing. Ah, how rare is chemistry with someone you also feel comfortable with!”

While we fully support a strong physical pull and acting on it for your pleasure, good chemistry can and does go beyond that instant spark of the honeymoon phase with the matching energy in relationships. We asked psychologist Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couple’s counseling, for some insights on relationship chemistry, its types, and signs that you do indeed have it with your partner.

What Is Relationship Compatibility?

“Relationship chemistry is about having a great emotional connect with another person,” Nandita says, “Many people confuse it with a physical connection, but the emotional intensity, too, needs to be really high. In fact, this connection can be termed passion or love. In the initial stages of a relationship, people might say you are infatuated with your partner when this chemistry is at its all-time high.”

The difference between chemistry and compatibility, Nandita says, is that in compatibility, we tend to look at a person’s core relationship values and the possibility of their longer-lasting presence in our lives. “Chemistry is more about how we feel about them on an everyday basis, the warmth, the positivity, the desire to be with each other all the time, and the need to make them happy,” she says.

So, when it comes to compatibility vs chemistry, what is more important in a relationship? Well, ideally, a good relationship would have both. It’s easy to write off chemistry as a short-term need, and something that fizzles out more easily than compatibility. Even though chemistry might start off as something as surface-level as a spark caused due to eye contact, it eventually gives way to a companionable, compatible relationship, lending that extra edge of warmth and desire to the steady flame of compatibility with more time spent. 

How Important Is Chemistry In A Relationship?

This is a burning question: how important is chemistry between 2 people? Nandita says, “Chemistry is very important in a relationship. That said, you can certainly have a secure, steady relationship with little or no chemistry. However, in my book, that is where boredom could creep in. You know you have something that can and will probably last, and that’s fine. But when the chemistry is high, there is energy and passion between a couple, giving it that extra kick, making it more fun and loving.”

Dani, a reader from Berkeley, shares her story, which is a telling example of how chemistry, or lack thereof, can impact a relationship. She says, “My husband and I have been together for 15 years. It was a deep eye contact attraction on the first date. You know, young true love. We were together all through high school and college, so marriage just seemed like the next logical step.

“I wouldn’t say I’m unhappy, and I’m aware that personal relationships change over time, but there is definitely something missing, that sense of ‘he’s my person, no matter what’. We do have compatibility in marriage but it’s just not the same and I don’t know how to re-spark the romance.”

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes, so there’s nothing wrong with this. But you needn’t go through life being wistful and wishing for a different life. You can opt out of such a relationship, or consider an open relationship or polyamory if you’re so inclined.

Related Reading: 5 Tips To Bring The Spark Back In Long-Term Relationships

Healthy vs unhealthy chemistry

While chemistry plays a pivotal role in sparking a romantic connection and sustaining it, it can also make you feel drawn to people who may not be good for you. That’s why it’s imperative to understand the healthy vs unhealthy chemistry difference so that you can accurately recognize what it is that you’re experiencing

When there is healthy and good chemistry in relationships,

• Sparks fly when two people are together, however, it’s not just a fascination. The intense emotional connection between them keeps the fire burning
• The flow of communication is effortless. You speak and listen without censorship or fear of retaliation
• Constructive conflict resolution is used. You work together to solve problems by coming to an agreement and understanding each other
• Growth is supported and encouraged. You motivate each other to go after your goals and become your best selves

Unhealthy chemistry in relationships,

• Although the body chemistry and attraction are strong at first, it soon becomes the only focus of your connection
• There are strained communication or lack thereof. The two people have difficulty communicating their emotions and comprehending each other’s points of view
• Limits are violated or ignored. Individuality is stifled and personal space is invaded
• Growth is replaced by stagnation and complacency. Aspirations and dreams are either ignored or discouraged

Remember, a healthy relationship with good chemistry between two people should make you feel loved, supported, and inspired to achieve personal growth and there should be mutual chemistry signs along with mutual respect. While an unhealthy one can drain your happiness and emotional well-being. Choose wisely and nurture the chemistry that brings out the best in both of you no matter how rare is chemistry with someone. 

Compatibility Vs Chemistry

Chemistry in a romantic relationship creates desire, but compatibility kindles a flame that lasts. It’s the collision of fireworks against the serenity of a sunset. Well, then what is more important in a relationship: chemistry or compatibility? To find be able to answer that, you need to understand the compatibility vs chemistry difference

Chemistry		Compatibility
Eye contact or physical attraction creates sparks of electricity that make your entire being pulsate with excitement		A seamless connection between two people that makes the heart light
Exciting and unpredictable, like a wild adventure		A sense of comfort and ease, like coming home
Instant bond over shared interests and passions – feels like it’s one true love		Deep understanding and shared values

In a healthy relationship, there is a combination of both, where sparks fly naturally and hearts find refuge in each other’s embrace, as you travel the romantic path.

Types Of Relationship Chemistry

Like relationships come in all shapes and sizes, there are also different levels of connection in a relationship. If you’re wondering how does chemistry work in a relationship, well, there’s no one way. Chemistry isn’t purely romantic love or sexual, the humor and platonic love you share with a close friend is also chemistry.

Romantic chemistry is just one aspect of a broad spectrum. For your reference though, here are some types of relationship chemistry:

1. Physical attraction

For most people, this is where it begins – with physical chemistry. That instant sense of being attracted to someone physically, knowing you find them attractive and want to act on it but start subtly with sultry prolonged eye contact. When we talk about losing chemistry in a relationship, we’re often referring to the loss of physical intimacy and/or lack of sexual chemistry.

Physical attraction manifests in the all too familiar symptoms of a racing heart, dilated pupils, butterflies in the stomach, and so on. A connection can begin with physical intimacy, and end when it fades. This doesn’t make it less valid as long as there’s clarity that all parties are looking for a purely physical bond.

You might also wonder “Can physical attraction develop over time by spending time together?” The answer is yes, sometimes a different kind of chemistry can bring people physically close, which can eventually even lead to true love. It doesn’t necessarily happen in a linear order.

2. Intellectual connection

Do looks matter in a relationship? Yes, but not exclusively. A strong intellectual connection in the relationship between two people is always a plus point. This is where those great conversations come in, those long, deep late-night debates, the way you’re always the best team at trivia nights, and so on.

Connecting on an intellectual level is an example of good chemistry because it means you’ll rarely run out of your shared curiosity and thirst to constantly learn new things together. Maybe you like to take classes together or spend time talking about the science behind obscure concepts. Or maybe you can’t get enough of the lore in the Lord of the Rings stories. Intellectual chemistry means your minds are a match!

Related Reading: 12 Ways To Build Intellectual Intimacy In A Relationship

3. Spiritual affinity

“My best friend and I decided to adopt and raise a child together,” says 37-year-old Andie, an art director, “We’re not really romantic partners, but we have a connection. We view the world through the same lens, we believe that the best relationships have a higher purpose, and ours is to honor the choice of nurturing a life together and helping ourselves achieve personal growth. We both believe we were brought together by the universe, that we’re meant to be in each other’s lives in a spiritual relationship, and that we’re meant to be parents together.”

When we think of different dimensions of good chemistry in a relationship, spirituality is right up there. If you have a strong shared belief system, your relationship chemistry is bound to be strong too. It goes beyond physical attraction triggered by prolonged eye contact. This is important when considering what is more important in a romantic relationship – chemistry or compatibility.

4. Emotional bond

“An emotional connection is built upon core relationship values of shared goals and interests,” says Nandita. Emotional chemistry is all about getting to know the other person, seeing if your communication styles match, and whether or not you feel safe enough with them to open up and stimulate vulnerability in a relationship. This can even translate into emotional compatibility over time. 

A shared emotional bond for most people can be formed with or without a physical connection. The way we feel about our closest friends or even some family members, people we would do anything for, is a reflection of emotionally charged chemistry. When you’re asking, “How does chemistry work in a relationship?”, it’s important to remember that it works in all kinds of ways.

5. Creative chemistry

“I have a colleague I didn’t really get along with at first. I was straight-up bored in a relationship after 3 months of being his deskmate. Then, we were both put on the same project, and I realized our creative chemistry was off the charts. We bounced ideas off each other, had the same vision for the final outcome, and even our artistic skills complemented one another’s,” says Candace, 30, who works as a graphic designer.

Creative chemistry between two people is when you have a writing partner who holds you accountable and also completely gets your writing style. They also help you learn new things. It’s the colleague who understands why you want to approach a job a certain way and provides the technical know-how. It’s entirely possible you don’t click on any other plane, but that doesn’t mean you can’t come together to create something amazing!

Related Reading: Platonic Soulmate – What Is It? 8 Signs You Found Yours

5 Signs You Have Relationship Chemistry With Your Partner

What are the actual signs of chemistry between a man and a woman and/or between the whole spectrum of genders? How do you know that that all-elusive, often indefinable spark is present and being nurtured by both of you? Again, there’s no one, exact way to determine that you do or do not have this chemistry. You can take chemistry in a relationship test but it’s important to be mindful of certain signs of it too. Here are some ways that illustrate that you do, indeed, have good chemistry with another person.

1. You look forward to seeing them at the end of the day

“It seems like a small thing, but to come back to the same face and person day after day and actually look forward to it is a sign of great relationship chemistry, whether you consider them a twin flame or soulmate,” says Nandita. In fact, when you think of losing chemistry in a relationship, one of the major signs to look out for is that you just don’t want to come home to them anymore.

This is especially important in long-term relationships where chemistry as well as emotional connection, can wither over time. Keeping up with a romantic relationship is as hard, if not harder than keeping up with the Kardashians. So, pay attention to the small things – the molecules of relationship chemistry.

2. You feel good when you’re with them

An important question to ask yourself in any relationship is, how do you both feel around one another? In a toxic relationship or a subtly abusive one, you’ll feel anxious or unsure of yourself when you’re around your partner. In a healthy relationship, where the relationship chemistry is present with the touch of personal growth, you’ll be happy and safe with each other. This is one of the most intense chemistry signs there is.

Mind you, this doesn’t mean you’ll never disagree or fight. It doesn’t even mean you’ll be together forever. But for the duration that you are together, even the thought of them will bring a smile to your face, even when you’re beyond the early stages of relationship infatuation where it seems like they can do no wrong.

3. Your sex life is fun and energetic

Let’s talk about sex, baby! We’ve gone on about how relationship chemistry isn’t all about physical attraction and connection, but it’s time to admit that a healthy and fun sex life is one of the most telling signs of chemistry between a man and a woman, or any two partners, for that matter. Fun sex is all about what’s fun for you. And great chemistry is all about what fulfills both you and your partner.

Although it can be challenging to keep the sex drive going when you are in a long-term relationship, just because the relationship has aged, doesn’t mean the libido has to go as well.

“I find that laughing and being silly in bed is one of my favorite things in a relationship. That’s how I define sexual chemistry,” confesses Amina, a 33-year-old landscape designer, “Every romance novel I’ve ever read talks about how things get really intense and serious when people are passionate, but the humor and good energy a person brings to sex and intimacy just makes me happier.” This is one of the relationship chemistry examples that portray how a strong, fulfilling sexual connection can mean different things to different people. 

Related Reading: The Dynamics And Importance Of Sex In A Relationship

4. There is intimacy and warmth

Sex is important, but your intimacy beyond the bedroom (and other rooms) counts too and is probably one of the most intense chemistry signs there is. To me, intimacy is a giant, knotted, wooly ball of touch, trust, laughter, tears, words, and silence. And somewhere within these knots, we find overlapping circles with a handful of people whom we have an emotional connection with.

“Warmth in a relationship isn’t just about the heat of the moment when your eyes first meet or how things heat up between you in the bedroom,” says Nandita, “Intimacy comes from sharing small, everyday joys and sorrows, talking about your day, and so on. It’s about non-sexual touch – the forehead kisses, holding hands, a hand on your shoulder, or the small of the back in passing, etc.”

Related Reading: 17 Signs Of Sexual Tension You Cannot Ignore, And What To Do About It

5. There is immense trust between you

Trust is the bedrock of any successful relationship and can be one of the definitive relationship chemistry examples. When you’re mulling over what is more important in a relationship – chemistry or compatibility – think about how much you trust the person in question.

Trust in a relationship isn’t just about fidelity and being faithful, but also about trusting them enough to be vulnerable and open with them. There could be intense chemistry signs on every level, but without trust, or if trust is broken, it’s difficult to sustain a connection.

Maybe you have some types of chemistry in a relationship, but not others, and you’re okay with that. Maybe you’ve got tremendous physical chemistry, but not much in terms of an emotional or intellectual bond. Would that mean you’ve got chemistry but no compatibility? Not necessarily.

It’s important to know what you’re looking for at any given point in a relationship and remember that perfect couples don’t exist. It’s important, however, to know that your needs can and are allowed to change. There’s nothing wrong with acting on your desires, even if you feel you’ve got more chemistry than compatibility, or vice versa. And it’s also okay to shrug it off and say, “Nice guy but no chemistry.” Be honest with yourself and your partners, and the rest will follow. We wish you plenty of sizzling chemistry in every aspect of your life. Good luck!

This post was updated in June 2023

FAQs

Sexual Compatibility: Meaning, Importance And Signs

55 Intimate Questions To Ask Your Partner

May-December Relationship: How To Keep The Romance Alive

Emotional manipulation in relationships can be scary. Far too often, individuals find themselves entangled in relationships where their emotions are played with and their sense of self is undermined. If you’ve ever questioned your own worth, felt trapped in a web of control, or experienced a constant sense of unease, you may be dealing with psychological manipulation. 

Let’s take a  deeper look at what manipulative emotional abuse is, manipulative personality traits, and the signs of an emotionally manipulative partner with insights from psychotherapist Chavi Bhargava Sharma (Master’s of Psychology), who has an extensive experience in mental health and wellness, including relationship counseling.

What Is Emotional Manipulation In Relationships?

 Emotional exploitation in relationships is a cruel way of creating fear and dependency. Manipulating someone requires knowledge of their insecurities and vulnerabilities as well as a tendency to intimidate. A romantic partner already has the former. They often leave you speechless since you don’t know how to respond to someone who exaggerates, controls, and toys with your emotions.

Martha, a 23-year-old graduate, was in a relationship with an emotionally abusive partner. He would shower his love on her and then suddenly retract by cutting all communication. But she remembered the good times and said yes to him when he proposed for marriage. Little did she know the pain that was inevitable. While talking to me, she exclaimed with a deep breath, “ When he starts acting different, know that it’s a red flag. I married a narcissist who controlled me through passive-aggressive manipulation. It’s horrible when a man tries to control you!” and then went on to ask me, ”Do emotional manipulators have feelings for you? Even a little bit of it? I just wish he felt something for me.”

Dr. Sharma has a very straightforward view of what emotional manipulation in relationships looks like. “Emotional manipulation is getting the reaction you want rather than the one that comes naturally to a person,” she says, “Manipulation is when a person finds fault in your reaction and wants to shape it in a way that aligns with their expectations.”

The biggest weapon of manipulators in relationships is intimidating language and behavior. They often are the ones who are controlling the narrative in a relationship. It’s important then to know the signs your partner is emotionally manipulative. Look out for these behaviors to understand manipulative personality traits :

• Controlling or influencing your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors for personal gain
• Using manipulative tactics to make you doubt yourself, feel guilty, or question your own reality
• Shifting blame onto you and avoiding taking responsibility for their actions or behaviors
• Gaining power and control over you often resulting in an imbalanced and unhealthy relationship dynamic

Why do partners manipulate in a relationship?

Dr. Sharma believes, “Emotional manipulation is about power. Your partner wants power over you, your emotions, and your life. The reason they do it is that they feel inadequate and insecure about themselves.”

Also, more often than not, they do not have any insight or only partial awareness of their manipulative behavior. They play around with the jargon of; influence vs manipulation broadcasting their emotional intelligence. Emotionally manipulative people often don’t think they are doing anything wrong. They feel it’s their right to treat someone that way. So if you wonder if your partner or even anyone or can someone be manipulative and not know it? Then the answer is a most definite yes.

Adding on to that, the findings of a thesis indicate that there could be multiple reasons driving the manipulative partner such as:

• Control – Your partner manipulates you to make you a pawn in their hand 
• Narcissism- The study refers to this as “intimate terrorism”

According to another study, sexual favors are another motivation for manipulators and are one of the manipulating personality traits; This study was conducted on college students. They found that 30% of men and 14% of women admitted manipulating their partners to convince them to be sexual liaisons. This is one of the acts of subtle controlling behavior where you are completely taken aback when you realize you’ve been fooled.

13 Signs You Are Being Emotionally Manipulated

So, how to tell if you are emotionally manipulated?Especially when tactics that manipulators use are most often very subtle and rarely explicit. It forces the one on the receiving end to self doubt and wonder if they are being overly sensitive. Well, the first thing to reflect on is, do you find yourself questioning your reactions more than usual? If yes, then there’s a good chance that you are being manipulated.

Here are a few warning signs and types of emotional manipulation in relationships with common examples to look out for. If you do see these signs in your better half, try to not ignore them like Martha did, at the beginning of her relationship when she agreed to be married to narcissist.

Related Reading: 13 Tell-Tale Signs Of Manipulation In A Relationship

1. Your feelings are disregarded

When there’s emotional manipulation in relationships, the perpetrator often disregards your feelings. Dr. Sharma says, “Feelings can be disregarded in more than one way. It could mean your needs are not being met, or maybe you are not being understood. When your partner starts disregarding your emotions in a relationship, everything you say will be overshadowed by their views and needs.” 

Example,

• They are not interested in how you feel about an issue or conversation or, 
• In an abusive relationship, they frequently dismiss your feelings and opinions as unimportant. You feel like your thoughts and feelings do not count for much in the big picture

2. They always get their way

Your partner has a penchant for getting their way. Your partner might be using emotional manipulation tactics on a daily basis. If you find yourself constantly adjusting to your partner’s likes and dislikes, it means the relationship is solely focused on them. This is one of the signs of emotional abuse in relationships. Emotional manipulation in romantic relationships is their way of getting you to comply with their demands. Classic 101 of manipulative behaviors. 

Example,

• If you don’t want to move out of town, they might threaten to leave you. or, 
• Your partner believes in the “my way or the highway” approach

3. They demand all your attention

It is a common trait of emotional manipulation in marriage as well as pre-marital relationships. They insist on being the center of your world, expecting you to prioritize them over everything else in your life. They can even turn toward passive aggressive behavior to fulfill their desire for attention.  This constant need can make you feel suffocated, leaving little room for your own needs, aspirations, and personal growth. 

Example,

• They may insist that you cancel plans with friends or family to spend time exclusively with them or, 
• If you do things or have interests that don’t include them, they could feel possessive or envious

4. They emotionally blackmail you

Another sign of people who manipulate is the use of emotional blackmail to keep themselves at the top of everyone’s priority list – especially yours! They want you to spend every waking moment together. This kind of behavior is one of the signs of emotional blackmail because your partner is trying to control your emotions by making you feel guilty or afraid of their reactions. Sometimes, they even use information from your life history to demean you. “What is it called when someone uses your past against you?”, Martha asked me once. Well,  the answer is manipulation by hitting you where you are feeling vulnerable the most.

Example,

•  If you don’t answer the phone right away when they call,  they get upset and accuse you of not caring about them or, 
• When you’re married to a narcissist, you often hear them say, “If you don’t stop hanging out with your friends and make time for me, I will leave you.” or “If you leave me, I will kill myself” 

Related Reading: Subtle Forms Of Emotional Abuse

5. Their actions don’t match their words

If you’re asking yourself, “How to tell if you are emotionally manipulated? Then this is a sure telltale. They may say they care about you while they are cheating on you with someone else or repeatedly doing things that seem to harm you. And they are always sneaky in their ways. Your partner may not say ‘no’ to you, rather they always sidestep your requests. Or they might apologize to you again and again but forget that sorry without change is manipulation. This is subtle but is definitely one of the signs of emotional abuse. 

Example,

• They might promise to be more supportive but consistently dismiss your concerns or invalidate your emotions like you’re imagining things or, 
• They might frequently cancel plans, make last-minute changes, or keep you in a constant state of uncertainty about the future of the relationship

6. They always guilt trip you

In a relationship where you are manipulated, the manipulator possesses the skill of expertly guilt-tripping you, burdening you with the weight of their happiness. They use subtle or direct tactics and make use of the guilt trip fallacy just so you feel accountable for their emotional well-being, making it seem like it’s your sole responsibility to fulfill their needs and desires. This eventually negatively impacts you. 

Example,

• Your manipulative spouse can involve in verbal manipulation by emphasizing how unhappy they are and implying it’s your fault or, 
• Your guy makes you feel guilty for spending time or pursuing activities outside the relationship – signs he is controlling and manipulative

7. It’s in their habit to gaslight

In a toxic union, the manipulators in relationships master the art of twisting your perception of reality, casting doubt on your memory and sanity. They twist events, distort facts, and gaslight you into questioning your own recollection of past experiences. With skillful manipulation, they make you second-guess yourself, leaving you to feel insecure, disoriented, and even feeling confused to the level where you start questioning your own sanity. If this happens in your relationship, then it is one of the signs your partner is emotionally manipulative

Example,

• Saying something like, “ “Why are you upset with me for no reason at all? I was drunk and it was just a kiss; there is nothing to be jealous or possessive about it. You are blowing up the issue out of proportion” or, 
• “I never said that. You must have misunderstood.” this is a verbal abuse statement they often say

Related Reading: 12 Warning Signs Of Gaslighting And 5 Ways To Deal With It

8. They often give you the silent treatment

Another sign of emotional manipulation in marriage or a relationship of any sort is when they employ silence to exert control and punish you for perceived wrongdoings. By withholding direct communication and shutting you out, they aim to make you feel anxious, desperate for their attention, and responsible for their withdrawal. This becomes a powerful tool to make you feel unsafe. 

Example,

• After a conflict or disagreement, they abruptly stop talking to you for days without any explanation or, 
• Whenever you express a differing opinion, they respond by refusing to acknowledge your presence or engage in any form of communication

9. They never take accountability

They shift blame onto you, making you shoulder the weight of their mistakes and problems by often asking probing questions. They artfully twist the narrative, manipulating you into believing that their failures or misfortunes are somehow your faults. This blame-shifting is one of the most prominent types of emotional manipulation in relationships. It leaves you feeling guilty, constantly striving to fix things that aren’t your responsibility, and erodes your self esteem. If this happens to you, then it is one of the signs of being used in a relationship. 

Example,

• They might say something like, “You made me go pick up the kids and so I got late for the party”, or, 
• They forget to pay their bills on time, but instead of taking responsibility, they blame you for distracting them or not reminding them

10. They are a master of self-victimization

They often tend to be playing the victim, skillfully evoking sympathy and deflecting responsibility. In every situation, they craft a narrative that positions them as the innocent party, unfairly treated by the world. Their victim mentality becomes a shield, shielding them from accountability and making you feel guilty for anything that goes wrong. This is one of the very significant signs of manipulation. 

Example,

• Saying, “ “I’ve always been there for you, running errands, managing things, lending you support, everything. And now, when I need you, you are nowhere to be seen!” or,
•  “You’re always against me. No one understands what I go through.”

11. They have no regard for your boundaries

They consistently trample over your limits, showing little regard for your feelings or needs. They steamroll over your personal space and emotional well-being. Whether it’s ignoring your boundaries, dismissing your concerns, or pushing you into uncomfortable situations, they demonstrate a clear disregard for your autonomy.

Example.

• A manipulative person will Invade your personal space or access your private information without permission or,
• Snooping through your belongings, reading your messages, or insisting on being present even when you’ve asked for time alone

12. They instigate jealousy 

One of the other signs of manipulation is when they purposefully pull the strings to keep you on the edge and dependent on their validation. With calculated precision, they create situations that make you feel envy, making you question your worth and desirability. By stoking the fires of insecurity, they manipulate you into seeking their constant reassurance and approval. 

Example,

• Flirting with others in front of you or making unfounded accusations or,
• They carefully curate their social media presence, posting exaggerated accounts of their exciting life while subtly excluding you from the narrative

13. They are charming as well – love bombing

They shower you with overwhelming amounts of love, affection, and attention making you feel special. At first, it feels beautiful and mesmerizing. You feel that you have been swept off your feet. However, they have a hidden agenda that serves them to gain your trust and establish control over your emotions. This is also called love manipulation. They make you wonder how can this person ever be cruel. When the cruelty starts though, your love for them makes you compensate for their behavior by answering in the positive to this repetitive question, “ Do emotional manipulators have feelings for you?”

Example,

• Overwhelming you with grand gestures and excessive flattery in the early stages of the relationship or,
• They constantly say things like, “ I may get mad but I still love you”

Related Reading: How To Differentiate Between Love Bombing And Genuine Care

5 Things You Can Do If You Are Emotionally Manipulated

The above tactics are typically used by a manipulative person as a way to control their significant others in relationships. Signs of an emotionally manipulative partner are sundry. Most people choose to play the ‘victim’ card and throw tantrums in order to get what they want. Emotional manipulation in romantic relationships can be debilitating. It isn’t good for you and your other personal relationships including your family members. It can really mess with your head. Effects of emotional manipulation on men’s and women’s health can include and make you,

• Feel  confused
• worthless
• Hopeless
• fearful

It can even lead to mental health disorders such as,

You might be asking yourself, “Can manipulators change?” to keep that hope of having those good times you had with your partner again. The hurt, the pain, and the helplessness are real and overwhelming. They might make you feel like there is nothing you can do about it, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It is extremely difficult but You can take steps to deal with the manipulation. Here are five steps that you can take if you are wondering how to deal with emotional manipulation in a relationship. 

1. Identify the signs and behaviors

The first step is always knowing the signs. When you recognize patterns of your partner, you validate your experiences where you feel bad which potentially can empower you to into taking action. Learn about these tactics and red flags. Knowledge is power, and by understanding the dynamics of emotional manipulation, you can better protect yourself and make informed decisions.

Awareness of these signs is in fact the first step in this journey of reclaiming yourself and your voice. It helps you start the process of,

• Seeking support including professional help, 
• Set boundaries and communicate them effectively
• Gaining clarity into the steps you need to take toward healing

Related Reading: Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships?

2.  Trust your gut instinct

Your intuition is a powerful tool that should never be ignored. When that little voice inside you starts whispering that something feels off, pay attention. Trusting yourself and your feelings is crucial in identifying emotional manipulation. Your gut instinct serves as a compass guiding you toward what is genuine and healthy in a relationship. 

It’s common to doubt yourself when faced with emotional manipulation, but remember that your inner voice is your valuable ally. Believe in your perceptions and experiences. and it will help you break free from manipulation, rediscover your self-worth, and create a healthier, more authentic connection. This is the most important point in the answer to your, “How to deal with emotional manipulation in a relationship?”

3. Set your boundaries

Setting boundaries can be difficult, especially if you are married to a manipulative spouse and if either you or your partner has low self-esteem because it often feels selfish. However, it is anything but that and it’s important that you remind yourself of this. Take the time to clearly define your boundaries and communicate them assertively. Be unwavering in expressing what you will and won’t tolerate. Remember, it’s crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being above all else. You can start by,

• Taking the time to reflect on your values, needs, and what makes you feel safe and respected in a relationship
• Using “I” statements to assert what you will and won’t accept, such as “I need to be treated with respect and honesty”
• Stick to your boundaries and enforce them consistently

4. Seek support

When navigating the complexities of a relationship full of abuse, seeking support is vital. Reach out to those who have your best interests at heart – trusted friends, understanding family members, or even a trauma informed therapist who specializes in relationship dynamics. Bonobology’s panel of experienced therapists is right here to help you navigate through this kind of emotional abuse. Having a loved one who believes in you can empower you to make the necessary changes and find the strength to prioritize your own well-being. 

5. Prioritize self-care

Amidst the challenges of unhealthy relationships and codependent manipulation, don’t forget to prioritize self-care as a form of healing and empowerment. Engage in activities that bring you joy and nourish your mind, body, and soul. Whether it’s pursuing your hobbies, practicing mindfulness, or simply dedicating time to rest and recharge, prioritize your well-being. By taking care of yourself, you strengthen your resilience and regain the power to create a healthier and happier future.

Emotionally abusive behavior and domestic violence are two sides of the same harmful coin, where one targets the emotions and the other encompasses a broader range of abusive and toxic behaviors. Both require attention and support to break free from their grip and create a safer, healthier environment.

No one deserves to be in a manipulative relationship, and dating is stressful enough without people trying to take advantage of you. So give it your full to recognize when someone is trying to emotionally manipulate you. It is extremely difficult to do so and therefore take it slow. However,  If they continue to do it — especially if they do it after you have clearly iterated that it’s violating your boundaries — it’s time to let them go and walk away. Remember, you are not alone in your journey of healing. Trust in your inner resilience, and embrace your worth. You deserve love, respect, and genuine happiness. Never let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

This post was updated in June 2023

The Relationship Triangle: Meaning, Psychology And Ways To Deal With It

Causes & Signs Of An Emotionally Exhausting Relationship And How To Fix Them

Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend? 11 Signs It Is Probably Time

Do you ever feel like your contact lenses are uncomfortable? Do you find yourself avoiding wearing them because they don’t seem to fit quite right? If so, then you’re not alone. Many people experience discomfort when wearing contact lenses, and trying to keep them in all day can be a real struggle. You can take a few steps to make sure your contact lenses stay comfortable and convenient to wear. 

In this article, we’ll discuss the causes of contact lens discomfort and some tips for making them more comfortable. Keep learning to learn how you can ensure your contact lenses are as comfortable as possible!

Also Read: Horrifying Ideas for Makeup with Halloween Contact Lenses

Tips to Enhance Comfort 

Here are some tips to enhance comfort while wearing contact lenses:

Proper Lens Selection: 

Consult with an eye care professional to ensure you have the correct type of contact lenses for your eyes. There are different lens materials and designs available, and the choice depends on components such as your prescription, lifestyle, and eye health.

Correct Prescription: 

– Advertisement –

Regular eye examinations are essential to maintain accurate prescriptions. Wearing outdated or incorrect lenses can cause discomfort and may lead to eye strain or irritation. For the best contact lenses without a prescription, visit Contactlenses4us! 

Cleanliness and Hygiene: 

Follow proper hygiene practices when handling your contact lenses. Make sure to wash your hands duly with soap and water before inserting or removing them. Avoid touching the lenses with dirty or oily fingers to prevent potential infections.

Contact Lens Solution: 

Use recommended contact lens solutions to clean and store your lenses. Avoid using tap water or saliva as they can introduce harmful bacteria. Follow the manufacturer’s instructions for proper disinfection and storage.

Lens Replacement Schedule: 

It is essential to replace your contact lenses timely as instructed by your eye care professional. Over time, lenses accumulate deposits and lose their shape, which can impact comfort and vision. Using expired lenses can increase the risk of eye infections.

Avoid Extended Wear: 

Extended-wear lenses allow overnight use but can be less breathable and increase the risk of eye issues. Unless prescribed by your eye care professional, removing your lenses before sleeping is generally recommended.

Lubricating Eye Drops: 

If you experience dryness/discomfort while wearing lenses, lubricating eye drops (artificial tears) can help alleviate these symptoms. However, consult with your eye care professional before using any eye drops.

Avoid Environmental Irritants: 

– Advertisement –

Certain environmental factors can cause lens discomfort. Minimize exposure to smoke, dust, and other airborne irritants. Consider wearing protective eyewear, such as wraparound sunglasses, in windy or dusty conditions.

Avoid Overwearing: 

Give your eyes regular breaks from contact lens wear. Wear glasses for a day or two each week to allow your eyes to rest and breathe.

Avoid Overuse of Digital Devices: 

Prolonged use of digital devices can cause eye strain and dryness. To rest your eyes, remember to follow the 20-20-20 rule: Take atleast a 20-second break every 20 minutes and focus on a particular object 20 feet away. There is no prescription required for doing this, as it is a normal method that will help you feel more comfortable. 

Also Read: Is it More Economical To use Glasses Instead of Contact Lenses

Allergy Management: 

– Advertisement –

If you have seasonal allergies, they can contribute to lens discomfort. Manage your allergies with appropriate medications and avoid rubbing your eyes.

Seek Professional Advice: 

If you continue to experience discomfort or irritation despite following these tips, consult your eye care professional. They can assess your eyes, review your lens options, and provide personalized recommendations.

Also Read: Feeling stuck? How to clear your mind and plan ahead

Why Order Online Contact Lenses?

Convenience

Ordering contact lenses online is convenient as it allows you to buy from the absolute comfort of your home. You can browse through various products and manufacturers, compare prices, read reviews, and make well informed decisions. Many websites also offer free shipping on orders over a certain amount or provide discounts when buying in bulk.

Availability

Online stores often have a wide selection of contact lenses that may not be available at your local optical store. You can choose from different brands, styles, designs, colors, powers, and features for each lens type. 

Price

Online contact lens retailers often offer lower prices than physical stores due to low overhead costs. They also have frequent sales and discounts that can further reduce the cost of purchasing contact lenses.

Comfort

Most online retailers offer a wide range of specialized lenses for maximum comfort and performance. These lenses are made from the latest materials with advanced features such as breathability, hydration, and UV protection. This ensures that your eyes stay healthy and comfortable while you wear them.

Useful Tips For Buying Contact Lenses Online

Research

Take your time to research different brands and products before making a buying/purchasing decision. Read reviews, compare prices, and check if any guarantees or warranties are offered.

Reputation

Always buy from a reputable retailer with strong customer service and good reviews.

Delivery Time

Check the delivery time of your order to make sure it arrives on schedule.

Return Policy

Make sure to read the return policy if you want to exchange/return any purchases.

Shipping

Ask if free shipping is offered and inquire about any additional charges. -vii) Prescription: Make sure to provide your eye care professional’s contact information when placing an order. This will allow them to verify your prescription and ensure you get the right eye lenses.

Customer Service

Contact the customer service division if you have any questions or concerns. They will answer all your queries. Online contact lens retailers offer many advantages over traditional stores, including convenience, availability, price, and comfort.

These tips mentioned above, can ensure that shopping for contact lenses online is a convenient, safe, and hassle-free experience. Online contact lens retailers provide convenience, availability, price savings, and comfort compared to physical stores – all without sacrificing quality or safety. With so many benefits available,

Conclusion

Online contact lens retailers are a great way to purchase comfortable and affordable contact lenses. With an abundance of variety, convenience, price savings, and comfort that traditional stores can’t match, online retailers make it easy to find the perfect lenses for you. Just be sure to read reviews, compare prices, and check if any guarantees are offered. By doing so, you can ensure that your order arrives on time and meets all of your needs and expectations. Ordering contact lenses online can save you both time and money while providing superior comfort – the best possible experience with your new lenses!

Added sugars from foods and beverages have many health consequences, including weight gain and increasing the risk for many chronic diseases. For example, Type 2 diabetes and heart diseases are both linked to overconsumption of added sugars. 

Eating healthy and staying active can also affect your insurance rates. Life insurance is cheaper when you are young and healthy. Medical issues and your health history can affect your life insurance rates. 

If you have health issues that affect your driving record or driving abilities, that can also influence your auto insurance rates. Health conditions like diabetes or heart disease can cause an auto accident if you don’t take care of your health and manage your medical conditions. For example, you can get auto insurance with diabetes, but it’s critical to manage your blood glucose levels so they don’t cause an accident. 

We will discuss diabetes and the recommendations for added sugar. We will also discuss the consequences of extra added sugar in our diet and how diabetes can affect your insurance rates and coverage.

What is diabetes? 

Diabetes is a chronic condition that affects how your body regulates blood glucose levels. Type 2 diabetes is more common and can affect any age group. There is no cure for diabetes, and it requires daily self management to stay healthy. 

– Advertisement –

When you eat carbohydrates or sugar, your body breaks them down into a substance called glucose. You can think of glucose as fuel for your body. Your brain, heart, and muscles need glucose for energy. 

Insulin is a hormone that is needed to unlock cells so that glucose circulating in our bloodstream can enter the cells to be used for energy. In Type 2 diabetes, the cells are not sensitive to insulin and glucose can build up in the bloodstream. This leads to blood glucose levels that are higher than normal. 

The main risk factors for Type 2 diabetes are being overweight, being obese, or having a lack of physical activity. Our risk for Type 2 diabetes also increases as we age. The best thing we can do to lower our risk or manage diabetes is to eat a healthy diet and stay active. 

Components of a Healthy Diet

A healthy diet should include a variety of foods from all the food groups to give your body the nutrients it needs. You should eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low-fat dairy products. 

Processed foods, packaged foods, high-calorie desserts, and unhealthy restaurant foods should be limited because these foods have higher amounts of calories with little nutritional value. They can also be high in sodium, trans fat, saturated fat, and added sugar. 

Most of the added sugar in Americans’ diets comes from sugar-sweetened beverages like soda, sports drinks, energy drinks, and coffee beverages. Another big source of added sugar is desserts and sugary snacks like cookies, cakes, and ice cream. We can cut back on these foods and beverages to lower the amount of added sugar we are consuming in our diet. 

Recommendations for Added Sugar

– Advertisement –

Added sugars are those that are added during processing or packaging. They just add extra calories without any additional nutrients. One common added sugar used in foods is high-fructose corn syrup. 

There are recommendations on the amount of added sugar from the Dietary Guidelines for Americans and the American Heart Association. They are similar, but the American Heart Association’s recommendations are more strict. 

The Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommend you consume less than 10% of your total calories from added sugars. This recommendation is for ages 2 and up. That means if you eat 1,500 calories, you should have no more than 150 calories from added sugars. 

The American Heart Association also has recommendations for added sugar. Women should consume less than 6 teaspoons of added sugar, which equals 100 calories or 25 grams per day. For men, the recommendation is 9 teaspoons of added sugar, which equals 150 calories or 36 grams per day. 

– Advertisement –

If you are using the nutrition facts food label, you can convert grams of added sugar to calories and vice versa. You can multiply the grams of added sugar by 4 to convert to calories from added sugar. 

An easy way to visualize the amount of added sugar in a food is to use the nutrition facts food label. Take the amount of sugar in grams and divide it by 4. This is how many teaspoons of added sugar this food has which can give you a better visual idea of how much sugar you are eating or drinking. 

There are no recommendations for natural sugar. This is the sugar you find that occurs naturally in foods like fruits and dairy products. Foods with natural sugar also contain many vitamins, minerals, and fiber.

What happens if you eat too much sugar? 

First and foremost, added sugar is a source of extra calories in the diet. One 12-ounce regular soda has 65 grams of sugar and 240 calories with very few nutrients. If you consume one regular soda per day, it could lead to a weight gain of about 0.5 pounds per week. 

These extra calories not only lead to weight gain and an unhealthy height-to-weight ratio but can also put you at higher risk for many chronic diseases and health issues. Too much sugar can create more inflammation in the body. This inflammatory response is linked to health issues like diabetes, heart disease, and some types of cancer. 

Extra added sugar in the diet can increase your risk for heart disease and stroke by clogging your arteries and increasing blood pressure. Research has also shown that a diet high in added sugar can be linked to heart disease death. 

The Connection Between Insurance and Health

The foundation for living a healthy lifestyle and managing your health conditions is choosing a healthy diet and staying active. Life and auto insurance can both be affected if you have medical or health issues. A healthy diet also gives you energy and promotes optimal wellness. 

Cut Back on Added Sugar

It’s natural to crave sugar, especially if you are used to consuming it. There are ways to cut back on sugar cravings such as planning meals and eating plenty of protein. 

You can use the nutrition facts food label to find out how much added sugar is in the foods you are eating. You can visualize this amount or compare it to the daily recommendations from the American Heart Association or the Dietary Guidelines for Americans. Cutting back on added sugar can lower your risk for many chronic health issues and help you save money on insurance. 

Through the years I have talked with thousands of men about what they are looking for in a first date. A 38-year-old CEO of a Fortune 1000 gave me this list … and I have always kept it! I think he summed up online dating/dating in general:

• Can she speak intelligently about more than one thing (such as her job)?

• Is she emotionally available or is she still talking about her ex a lot? (This is particularly important!)
  

• Can she maintain eye contact?

• Is she nervous? Is there some energy between us or is it flat? (Nervous is better than flat.)
  

• Is she generous or is she confrontational? Can she hold her own opinion without making me wrong?

• Does she have a good sense of humor and a “fun” attitude? Does she get my sense of humor? Is she happy?

• Do we have chemistry?

• How does she respond when I put my hand on the side of her arm or the small of her back? Is she open and not afraid to show that she likes me?

• Is she high maintenance? Does she talk about nicer places than you are taking her to in a way that makes you feel like she would have rather gone there? Does she pick the most expensive thing on the menu for the first date?

When I do my initial Zoom call with a client, I listen carefully but also pay attention to body language. If the client I’m speaking with constantly complains about online dating to me, I know inevitably it’s going to come out on the date too.

As a long-time dating coach–I don’t just write online dating profiles–the majority of my work and success with clients comes when we are online together, using the algorithms and key words to identify the right type of person. And fortunately, it works!

I love helping my clients—but it only works if they are ready and committed to putting two hours of work in each week—that’s not counting the fun part–dates, of course! So, if you are committed, give me a call. I can always tell if someone is ready—and I can help. If not, I will also tell you to hold off until you resolve any issues. I want you to have success!

Happy Dating—

Andrea
702-494-7344 (you can always text me for a free 15-minute time slot to discuss you and what you are looking for)

Fun & Easy DIY Home Decor Ideas

Decorating your home can get a little pricey, and, to be honest, sometimes stores don’t have exactly what we want. If you are looking for some cute decoration ideas or DIY home decorating projects, we’ve got them for you right here! We gathered up 50 DIY home decor ideas, so you can get the right style for your home within your budget! Let’s get to it!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. To learn more about ’em, click here.

We’ve placed the DIY home decor ideas into these different categories, so you can quickly find what you want: walls, kitchens, bathrooms, living rooms, bedrooms, entryways, mudrooms, and laundry rooms. Simply pick the category you’re looking for, but we recommend taking a look at the whole list … it’s a good one!

Table of Contents

1. Fun & Easy DIY Home Decor Ideas
2. DIY Home Decor Ideas: Walls
3. DIY Home Decor Ideas: Kitchen
4. DIY Home Decor Ideas: Bathroom
5. DIY Home Decor Ideas: Living Room & Bedroom
6. DIY Home Decor Ideas: Entryway & Mudroom
7. DIY Home Decor Ideas: Laundry Room

DIY Home Decor Ideas: Walls

1. DIY Paint Wallpaper (Nina Williams Blog): Use paint and a sponge to create your own inexpensive and trendy wallpaper.

2. Wood-Scalloped Wall (Savannah Kay Designs): These scalloped wood pieces adhere to the wall with mounting tape. No nails are required!

3. Living Room Accent Wall (A Beautiful Mess): Are you looking for bold DIY home decorating projects? Use thrift store frames and vivid paint to make this one-of-a-kind accent wall!

4. Indoor Vertical Garden (Jessica Welling Interiors): We love this gorgeous, living statement piece!

5. Vertical Shiplap (Lolly Jane): Vertical shiplap is not only easy to install but also looks so high-end! Don’t forget to grab some Liquid Nails!

6. Braided Wall Hanging (A Beautiful Mess): This wall hanging uses LOTS of yarn! Customize it and make it your own by choosing different textures and colors.

7. Board + Batten Accent Wall (Lolly Jane): Add texture and intrigue to a blank wall in your home with these cute decoration ideas!

8. Plank Wall (Live Laugh Rowe): This plank wall project can be time-consuming but is a fairly inexpensive way to change the look of your room!

9. Hanging Art Rail System (The DIY Mommy): This is such a unique way to display your photos, and she gives a full tutorial on her site!

DIY Home Decor Ideas: Kitchen

10. Open Kitchen Shelves (Lolly Jane): If you’re ready to ditch your old, traditional cupboards, this DIY home decor project will make your kitchen look modern and cozy.

11. Paper Towel Holder (Houseful of Homemade): You can make this farmhouse paper towel holder in about 15 minutes. We love the little shelf above the paper towels, too!

12. Shiplap & Trim Kitchen Island (Sunny Side Design): Makeover your kitchen island with shiplap, trim, and paint! Such a fun and easy way to update your kitchen!

13. Magnetic Spice Rack (Jessica Welling Interiors): This quick and easy DIY project is both cute and functional! Take a look at these cute magnetic spice jars!

14. Simple Brick Backsplash (Sunny Side Design): Add charm to your kitchen by creating this gorgeous, old-world-inspired backsplash!

15. Family Heirloom Displays (HGTV): Frame your vintage family heirlooms and recipes for beautiful kitchen decor.

16. Cookbook Stand (Houseful of Handmade): This decor is beautiful and functional. Win-win!

17. Wallpaper Appliances (House Beautiful): Upgrade your old appliances by covering them with fun vinyl wallpaper or contact paper. Pair funky designs with solid, bold paint for your cabinets.

DIY Home Decor Ideas: Bathroom

18. Framed Bathroom Mirror (Cherished Bliss): This easy DIY project will spruce up your bathroom in no time!

19. Wallpaper Flooring (The Homes I Have Made): Can you use peel-and-stick wallpaper on bathroom floors? The answer is “Yes!” Go to her website to learn how!

20. Towel Storage Baskets (My Wee Adobe): No linen storage? No problem! Use cute baskets on the wall to use as storage and decor in one!

21. Rustic Wood Storage Ladder (Jenna Sue Design): This storage ladder is easily customized to fit the space in your bathroom. Place it over your toilet for cute and easy storage!

22. Slim Storage Ladder (HGTV): Here’s another storage ladder, but it’s slim for small spaces. Paint it a fun color to match your style!

23. Bathroom Magazine Rack (Four Generations One Roof): We love that this rack is slim and out of the way but also easy to access.

24. Butcher Block Vanity (Beneath My Heart): Do you want to change the look of your bathroom but still need to save space? Try making this gorgeous butcher block vanity!

25. Toilet Paper Roll Holder & Shelf (DIY Show Off): A super simple way to hold your toilet paper and your phone while you go!

DIY Home Decor Ideas: Living Room & Bedroom

26. Built-In Entertainment Center (Lolly Jane): This home decor project will totally blow your mind! Everything from the drawers on the bottom and the shelving on the top to the fireplace in the middle is all DIY!

27. Hanging Air Plant Holder (Houseful of Handmade): DIY home decor ideas don’t get any easier or cuter than this!

28. Painted Piano (Lolly Jane): Do you have an old piano and you want a statement piece? If so, then paint is your friend!

29. Sofa Table (Jenna Sue Design Co.): Make this charming, rustic sofa table for $30 or less!

30. Display Risers (Live Laugh Rowe): Make these simple display risers to add appeal to any vignette you put together. They’re cheap to make, too!

31. Wallpaper Furniture (The Homes I Have Made): Update your old furniture by simply using peel-and-stick wallpaper. Easy peasy!

32. TV Frame (Jenna Sue Design Co.): Get a gorgeously framed TV for under $15 and just a few hours of work!

33. Floating Desk (Jessica Welling Interiors): Perfect for living rooms, offices, or bedrooms, this floating desk tutorial is simple and easy to follow.

34. Fabric-Covered Dresser (The Homes I Have Made): Don’t you just love the look of this fabric-covered dresser? We’re obsessed!

35. Upholstered Closet Doors (House Beautiful): Do you have ugly closet doors? Give them a fabric upgrade!

36. Crate Bookshelf (Tara Michelle Interiors): Following her simple tutorial, you can create a totally unique DIY crate bookshelf!

DIY Home Decor Ideas: Entryway & Mudroom

37. Rustic Entryway Bench (Over the Big Moon): This amazingly simple DIY bench has a dual purpose: seating and storage!

38. Storage Cubbies (Jessica Welling Interiors): The best part about this project is that it uses cubbies found at Ikea—just assemble and add some hooks!

39. Board and Batten Hook Wall (Where the Smiles Have Been): This is perfect to put in an unused hallway as an out-of-the-way spot to hang backpacks and coats!

40. Shoe Cabinets (The DIY Mommy): This DIY home decor project also uses Ikea storage cabinets. She even did an update three years later and said the cabinets have held up fantastically!

41. Mudroom Built-ins (Sunny Side Design): While this project is more intense than others, the tutorial walks you step by step through creating your very own built-ins for your mudroom. No need to hire a handyman when you’ve got the internet!

42. DIY Drop Zone (Pine and Poplar): Don’t have a whole lot of room? This DIY drop zone is perfect for small spaces! The tutorial walks you through how to make it and is incredibly helpful!

DIY Home Decor Ideas: Laundry Room

43. Fold Down Drying Rack (Pine and Poplar): Hang dry your clothes even in small spaces. We love the functionality of this drying rack!

44. Stencil-Painted Cabinets (Cutting Edge Stencils): Using stencils and paints can really update the look of your laundry room!

45. Laundry Symbol Cheat Sheets (Just a Girl and Her Blog): Stop googling fabrics and temps every time you do the laundry. Simply print these out, and you’ve got cute decor and a cheat sheet!

46. DIY Washboard Memo Station and Cupboard (Family Handyman): Not only is this vintage DIY decor just darling, but it is also a cupboard you can use for storage.

47. Pegboard Organizer (Jessica Welling Interiors): Cute decoration ideas that also double as organization hacks? Yes, please! Get the wire baskets here!

48. DIY Washer Pedestal (Family Handyman): Add trim and molding to the basic design to get the style and look you want.

49. Customized Laundry Cart (The Homes I Have Made): Buy a cart and customize it with paint, tape, and contact paper to make it work for your laundry room style!

50. Machine Decorations (A Beautiful Mess): Have you ever thought of decorating your washer and dryer? We haven’t, but we just love the playful look of the stripes and polka dots on these machines!

DIY home decor ideas don’t get any better than that, right?

If you’re looking for cute wall art, take a look at our post featuring 20+ Designs of Printable Wall Art. Or, if projects are something you and your sweetheart love to do, you will love this Fixer Upper Date!

Now get out there and DIY!

It can be tough to reject someone. You don’t want to hurt their feelings, but sometimes, it is just not meant to be. When it comes to the art of declining someone’s romantic interest, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It can be tempting to beat around the bush and soften the blow, but this can often lead to more confusion. At the same time, if you’re planning how to reject someone nicely via text, avoid going into too much detail as to why you are not interested. 

Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, says that our need for connection traces way back to when humans relied on being in groups to survive. “When somebody rejects us, it goes against everything we feel like we need for survival.”  This is why it’s important to figure out how to reject someone without hurting their feelings. And sometimes, a sweet, simple text does the trick. Let us see how.

20 Examples To Reject Someone Nicely Via Text 

Are you struggling to find the right words on how to reject someone nicely via text? We get it. It is important to be respectful, honest, and clear. And texting is the kindest way to reject someone as it eliminates awkward conversations and gives the person time to process the rejection in private. Here are the different situations in which you might find yourself refusing someone’s advances:

• You might be planning to reject someone who finds you irresistible, but you don’t think they are a good match for you
• You may have to savagely reject someone over text if you no longer feel safe around them
• You might have to tell a guy you’re not interested through text when it’s a close friendship and you don’t want to mess it up
• You may have to reject someone when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend by telling them that you are in a monogamous, committed relationship
• You may need to withdraw from a relationship if you’ve lost interest or feelings for the other person
• You might need to tell someone no if they are your colleague and you don’t want to date someone at work
• You may even be rejecting someone you actually do like
• You may have to reject a girl nicely via text if you’re not looking for a committed relationship right now

If it’s a safe situation, then instead of ghosting or being passive-aggressive, it’s better to be clear and direct in your response. Without being awkward, let them know that you appreciate their interest, but you are not available to date. 

However, it can still be tricky to know how to reject someone politely via text. Let’s go through the following 20 examples:

Related Reading: 8 Ways To Make Him Regret Not Choosing You

1. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think we should continue with anything romantic at this moment. And I don’t want to keep you waiting. Best of luck.”
2. “Your interest in me is flattering, but I don’t believe we would be compatible as a couple. I’m sorry, I hope you know this has nothing to do with you.”
3. “Thank you for your flattering interest in me. But at this time, I’m not looking for a relationship. I know you’ll understand. Can we please stay connected, though, if you’re okay with that?”
4. “Hello, I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t think our political views on several important subjects are compatible. I wish you all the best in your search for a partner!”
5. “I appreciate you telling me, but I have no idea what to do after the breakup because haven’t moved on from my ex yet. This won’t be fair to you, or anyone else. I sincerely hope you understand.”
6. “Hey,  as colleagues, I think it’s best if we keep things professional. I appreciate your understanding.”
7. “Hey, I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way about you. I sincerely hope you find the person you deserve to be with.”
8. “I’m sorry, but right now, I’m focused on my career. I don’t want to mislead you or give you false hope. I hope your search for that special someone goes well.”
9. “I have to let you know that I’m not comfortable with how quickly our relationship is evolving. I’m hoping you’ll respect and understand my emotions. I wish you the best of luck in your search for a better fit.”
10. “This is lovely, thank you. But I think of you only as a friend. I would love to see you in a relationship with the right person in the future. Let’s please continue being friends?”
11. “Hey, I’m grateful for the time we’ve had together, but my feelings have changed. I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you.”
12. “I know I’m the one who approached you months ago, but since then, I decided to move on. I didn’t expect you to ever reciprocate. I hope you understand.”
13. “Hey, given my situation right now, I’m not interested in dating. I’m sending you my very best wishes.”
14. “This is flattering but I don’t think we have any romantic chemistry. I’m looking for something else. Sorry, <insert name>, and best of luck.”
15. “I’m sorry but I am looking for some other qualities in my future partner. Nothing against you. You are amazing and I wish you all the best.”
16. “I don’t think we have enough interests and passions in common to move forward with this. I’m sorry if this hurts you.”
17. “Thank you, I like you too, but I don’t think our career goals are compatible enough for us to be together. And that’s something I need to prioritize as well.”
18. “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe we would get along because of the differences in our temperament. I wish you luck in your search for the right person!”
19. “I truly appreciate you telling me how you feel, but I believe it’s best if we continue to be friends. I’m hoping you understand. Do let me know if you need some space.”
20.  “Just to let you know, I’m not in a good place right now to start a relationship. I need to focus on myself. I’ll take a polite step back from our conversations for some time.”

If you’re looking at how to reject someone nicely via text, the 20 examples above are a good place to start. You should be clear about your decision and why you’re making it. Remember, it’s not personal, it’s just a matter of not being a good fit.

Related Reading: 12 Signs Your Past Relationships Are Affecting Your Present Relationship

8 Things To Consider When Rejecting Someone

As per a study, initiators of unrequited romantic advances fail to appreciate the difficult position their targets occupy, both in terms of how uncomfortable it is for targets to reject an advance and how targets’ behavior is affected, professionally and otherwise, because of this discomfort. No wonder people wish to know how to reject someone nicely via text. Here are a few benefits of choosing this mode of communication when you have to reject someone who has a crush on you:

• Perhaps you are too nervous to have a face-to-face conversation, and texting provides a more comfortable environment for both of you
• You may want to take the time to carefully craft your response and avoid any potentially hurtful words or actions in the heat of the moment
• Rejecting someone over text allows for a clear and concise message without the possibility of misinterpretation
• It may be seen as a kinder and more considerate approach, as it allows for a thoughtful and respectful rejection

There could be many implications of your polite refusal to a date too, though. Hence, the following 8 points should be considered when rejecting someone:

1. Make sure you know your reasons for rejecting them

To reject someone without being rude, you must first know your reasons for saying no. Take a step back and examine your feelings. What are your true feelings toward this person? Are you not interested in them romantically, sexually, platonically, or at all?

• Be truthful to yourself. Do you actually feel this way, or are you going with the opinions of your friends?
• Make your intentions clear. Tell them if you don’t think your goals align, if you don’t sense any romantic chemistry, or if you’re not ready to start a new relationship right now
• Don’t keep them in the dark. Leaving the other person hanging is unfair
• This approach allows them to understand your decision clearly and move on without feeling too hurt or confused
• Don’t confuse them by going back to them and retracting your rejection

2. Be clear and concise

You can explain why things aren’t working out without hurting their feelings. Imagine realizing after a few weeks of seeing someone that you aren’t into the person. You can say “I don’t think we’re a good fit, but I wish you all the best” instead of “Let us see where things go.” 

Even though it might be difficult to hear, it’s much better than leading someone on. It enables the other person to go on and find someone who is a better fit for them.

• Do not tiptoe around the subject or make your rejection vague. Be clear and direct so they understand your position
• Do not give false hope. Don’t lead them on with hollow promises or vague responses if you’re not interested
• Avoid ghosting. Ghosting is when someone disappears without any explanation. In addition to being hurtful, it is also not an appropriate way to reject someone

3. Be respectful

When you reject someone with respect, not only do you demonstrate your generosity and understanding for their feelings, but you also lay the groundwork for a civil future for both of you. Think for a moment about how you would like to be treated if the circumstances were reversed.

• Always make sure they know that it is not personal and that you still respect them
• Allow them time and space to process their emotions
• Do not reject them in front of others. That is not a mature approach to address the situation and leaves the other person feeling low about themselves

Related Reading: Being Friends With An Ex You Still Love – 8 Things That Can Happen

4. Take care of the timing

When it comes to rejection of love/feelings, the timing of it must be appropriate. For both of you. Here’s how:

• It would be preferable to deliver the rejection when you’re not in a rush to get it over with
• Wait for a less stressful period for the other person
• Don’t rush the other person into being friends with you. Allow them time to absorb your rejection

5. Be honest in your rejection toward someone’s feelings

Being honest is the best course of action when you have to reject someone who has a crush on you. Imagine receiving a message from a friend that they like you and want to date you. Unfortunately, you don’t feel the same way. In this case, it’s best to let them know that you simply see them as a friend and don’t have any other feelings for them. 

• Tell the truth about your feelings. If you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, don’t mislead them
• You are respecting another person’s emotions and being compassionate to them by being honest
• Don’t make excuses or lie. On top of being inconsiderate, it could also have long-term negative effects
• Being honest is the kindest thing to do because it gives the other a chance to move on

6. Choose the right setting 

Imagine yourself at a party with your friends, having a fantastic time. Someone you have been casually dating suddenly comes up to you and says they don’t want to see you anymore. How would you feel? Chances are, you would feel humiliated in front of everyone. Now imagine a similar situation, but this time, your date is telling you they no longer want to see you over the phone or during a one-on-one chat. Picking a private setting is a reasonable measure to take to minimize a person’s pain. 

• A private setting allows you time and scope to gently explain your reasons for rejecting a person 
• It also allows the other person the time and space to give their reaction
• Although it may still be hard to hear, this allows for a more respectful and dignified rejection

7. Get it over with

Let’s say, you are out on a date. You had high hopes but the conversations are awkward, and you can’t wait for the night to be over. Instead of being honest with them, you choose to string them along and give them false hope for a second date. This is why, even though it may sound harsh, it’s best to get the rejection over with as quickly as possible. 

• Rip off the band-aid. The longer you wait to deliver the rejection, the more time the other person has to build up hope
• They will find it increasingly hard to accept/believe the rejection if you wait to tell them after some days
• Waiting makes things more difficult for both of you. You’re deepening your distress and their disappointment at the same time
• The sooner you reject someone, the sooner they can move on and find someone who is a better match for them

8. Thank them for their interest in you

When rejecting someone, it’s important to thank them without hurting their feelings. If you realized during your first date that the person isn’t quite what you’re looking for, thank them for their time and effort in co-organizing the date rather than just informing them you’re not interested. If he or she likes you more than a friend, this tiny gesture of appreciation can significantly alter how they feel about being rejected. Even though they may still be dissatisfied, they will value your consideration and regard for their sentiments. 

• If you feel comfortable, let them know that you are open to being friends
• The next time you find yourself in a situation where rejection is unavoidable, express your gratitude (but only if the other person is well-meaning and not creepy)

I hope this article helped you learn how to reject someone nicely via text. In the end, remember that you don’t owe anything to anyone. You have the right to reject a person who doesn’t meet your needs or wants. Rejecting someone doesn’t have to be a negative experience, though. By following the tips outlined in this article, you no longer have to wonder how to savagely reject someone over text. You can choose to be respectful, direct, and honest. You might even end up maintaining a positive dynamic with them.

FAQs

15 Tips That Keep A Relationship Strong And Happy

11 Relationship Qualities That Are a Must-Have For A Happy Life

9 Expert Tips To Let Go Of Someone You Love Deeply

Are you here looking for signs of losing yourself in a relationship? Well, if you have stopped watching your show or quit your favorite seafood dish just because your partner hates it, you are slowly getting lost in a relationship. If you have made your partner the center of your world and adopted his social life as yours, you will feel trapped sooner or later.

Hints of losing your identity might be as subtle as these but they will loom large if gone unnoticed for a long time. To spend every waking moment being in love feels amazing until it leads to a major identity crisis. Eventually, everything that makes you ‘you’ starts getting dissolved into the likes and dislikes of your partner.

And you end up thinking, “Who am I? Am I even myself anymore? I feel completely lost as my own values and opinions are barely important to my current partner.” Well, we are here to show you how feeling lost in a marriage or a toxic relationship can look like and validate your urge of taking a break from a relationship to find yourself.

What Does It Mean To Lose Yourself In A Relationship?

To lose yourself in a relationship means you shed every personality trait, every unique quality, every wish, every passion, and goal that characterizes you as a wholesome person. Jennifer Lopez shared some solid advice on self-love and loving someone else in an interview, “You’ve got to love yourself first. You’ve got to be OK on your own before you’re OK with someone else. You’ve got to value yourself and know that you’re worth everything.”

As she articulates, it is very important to maintain that unique individuality when you are sharing your life with another person. If you spend most of your time thinking, “I am losing myself in a relationship”, are you even in a healthy relationship? What are the things that you are doing wrong? Before you merge into a big blob with your partner, let’s figure out what is it like to lose your own identity to an overshadowing partner:

• You have probably stopped doing things that you don’t have in common with your partner
• Being overly involved in your partner’s life and vice versa shifts your focus from your own well-being and purpose in life
• You would know you are losing yourself mentally when you have zero control over your life
• If you often feel numb, unsure, and live life on autopilot mode, it could be one of the signs of losing yourself in a relationship
• It may seem like betraying your heart, soul, and mind, and being unfair to yourself
• Your primary identity is that you are someone’s partner or spouse and not the name and status you have built for yourself
• Your own opinions, own thoughts, and core values seem secondary as you constantly try to please your partner by agreeing to everything they say and want

8 Signs You Are Losing Yourself In A Relationship

Losing yourself is worse than losing people you love. The relationship that you have with yourself sets the foundation for all the other relationships in your life. When you are not yourself, it always has a ripple effect on everything else in your life. Unless you are happy and content as the person that you are, how do you expect to offer your partner a fulfilling relationship? So, for your own benefit and your partner’s, here are some of the major signs of losing yourself in a relationship:

Related Reading: 13 Beautiful Ways To Date Yourself

1. You have stopped doing things that you love

My mother once told me, “I’ve seen myself lose my sense of self in a relationship. After becoming a wife and mother, I stopped taking care of myself physically. I used to eat well and exercise but discontinued that. I would barely put any effort into doing my hair and makeup. I got so busy taking care of people that I forgot about my own interests and how to feel good about myself.”

Have you too become so absorbed in your relationship that you have stopped taking time out for things that you genuinely love? It could be hanging out with your best friends, pursuing a hobby, meditating, or writing. Heck, you might even have stopped looking at yourself in the mirror let alone following that ten-step skin regime.

You know what, self-care and spending quality time with yourself are absolute necessities to keep your mental and physical health satiated. Giving up on all the fun things that brought you sheer joy and peace and thinking about your relationship most of the time is bound to invite an identity crisis.

2. You can’t stand being away from them

As the lyrics by Jhené Aiko go, “…You don’t need no me time. That’s you and me time…” That might sound super romantic in a song but in reality, you need that ‘me’ time. You should provide yourself with ample personal space and time not just to retain your identity in a relationship but for your professional and individual growth as well. If the following scenarios sound relatable, you might be losing yourself mentally in the process of loving someone:

• You rarely keep any alone time on your schedule
• You want to spend every minute of every day with them and won’t go anywhere without your partner
• Even if there is any alone time, you are busy texting/talking on the phone with your partner or daydreaming about them
• Your social life is now dimming as they are your only friend and companion

3. Your friends and family members are worried about you

When I was losing myself in a relationship, a pretty toxic one for that matter, my friends and family members could see it months before I could. They kept telling me things like I had become a different version of myself and I have abandoned them as we would barely spend time anymore. I was in complete denial so I never paid any heed to their words and let all my other relationships suffer for that one person who made me question my self-worth.

When we are in love, we put on rose-tinted glasses and unsee every red flag in a partner. So, we need people who can shake us and give us a reality check. Don’t make the same mistake I made and take the advice of your loved ones seriously. If they are concerned that you are giving too much of yourself in the relationship, you better find ways to stop losing your own identity before it’s too late.

Related Reading: How Spending Time With Friends Helps Improve Your Relationship

4. Why are you feeling lost in a relationship? Lack of boundaries

Do you find yourself agreeing to be a part of plans and activities you don’t necessarily enjoy doing? For example, you might be an introvert who loves reading books or introspecting in your free time. But ever since you have been in a relationship, you force yourself to go to parties just because your partner is an extrovert. Setting boundaries in a relationship is less likely to invite such negative feelings and situations:

• Agreeing to sexual activities even if you are not in the mood just not to hurt their feelings
• Being okay with your partner making decisions on all the financial matters without even consulting you
• Dealing with the fact that your partner has zero respect for your work hour or your alone time
• Being okay when they make plans on your behalf without checking with you
• Staying in a verbally abusive relationship and allowing your partner to repeatedly pass hurtful comments or making the same jokes that happen to trigger you emotionally

Making peace with unhealthy boundaries is one of the signs of losing yourself in a relationship. If you can’t put yourself first and hesitate to voice your likes and dislikes to your partner, it can eventually damage your self-worth and make you feel inadequate at every step of life. Learn to say ‘no’ before it comes to the stage of worrying about “What do you do when you feel like you’re losing yourself?”

5. You feel disconnected from your own feelings

Alan Robarge, the Attachment Trauma Therapist, points out on his YouTube channel, “It is self-betrayal if you are denying your own needs and desires by rationalizing and telling yourself that it’s okay to stay in a chaotic, unsatisfying, challenging relationship that only causes chronic disappointment. You keep giving the benefit of the doubt to your partner, even when this relationship lacks consistent emotional stability and you constantly feel misunderstood, rejected, and depleted.

“If you know that your partner is showing a lesser degree of emotional availability and you are still trying to convince yourself to be okay with that level of interaction, you end up shutting yourself down and feeling disconnected from your own feelings. Losing identity in a relationship can feel like a dissociated, trance-like state of not being fully present, as you are pretending and convincing yourself that you are happy, even when deep inside you know that you are not.”

Related Reading: Emotional Neglect In A Relationship – Meaning, Signs And Steps To Cope

6. Your life is centered around your partner

How to be sure that you are losing identity in your relationship and that it’s not just a rough phase of life? To help you find the answer to this question, we have a few follow-up questions:

• Do you spend time thinking, talking, or dreaming about your partner for a major portion of the day?
• Do you hardly have a life outside of your relationship and your social life keeps shrinking because you keep canceling other plans to spend time with your partner? 
• Have you changed so much for them that now you are just a carbon copy of your partner?
• Is your happiness totally dependent on your partner and you lose your mind whenever you are facing relationship issues?
• Do you take your partner’s approval in making the smallest of decisions?
• Are you so scared to lose your partner that you end up compromising your own goals and yourself above all, more than you should? 

All these are indisputable signs of a codependent relationship. Maybe, there is a false reward or payoff involved. For example, “My partner treats me like shit but damn, he is awesome in bed.” Or your partner is rich/famous/powerful and you’ve tied your identity so closely to their stature that you’d do anything to keep it, even if it means letting them walk all over you. 

7. You hold your partner in high esteem

Do you remember the character of Pacey Witter from Dawson’s Creek who is the epitome of someone who idealizes their partner? There is a scene in which Pacey asks Andie, “Why do you like me? I’m a screw-up, Andie. I’m thoughtless. I’m insecure. And for the life of me, I cannot understand why a woman like you would bother to care about me.” 

Putting your partner on a high pedestal so much so that you become blind to their flaws is one of the signs of losing yourself in a relationship. This kind of relationship dynamic stems from an existential crisis or low self-esteem which makes one feel that they are nothing outside their relationship. They would go to the extent of reasoning out the shortcomings and wrong actions of their partner.

For instance, my friend June would constantly justify her boyfriend’s hot and cold behavior by saying, “He had a tragedy in his family a few years back and the trauma made him so emotionally unavailable. But he means well.” Even if your partner makes you feel cared for, you could be constantly seeking reassurance that they genuinely love you. If the situation has escalated to this point, taking a break from a relationship to find yourself won’t be such a bad idea.

8. You constantly look for distractions

My friend Paul told me, “When I was feeling lost in a marriage, I started drowning myself in unhealthy coping mechanisms. I started drinking more, binge-eating junk food, or working extra hours just to avoid facing reality. I didn’t want to leave her so I distracted myself. How could I lose my sense of self in a relationship? All I wanted was to feel myself again and I didn’t know how.”

If you are struggling as Paul did, don’t feel bad. If identity can be lost, it can be found too. Being aware that you are losing the ‘me’ while becoming ‘we’ is itself a powerful revelation. Once you gather the courage to be honest with yourself, it becomes easier to mend your relationship with yourself. Here are a few steps that can help you in finding yourself and the kick that keeps a relationship alive.

Related Reading: I Need Space – What Is The Best Way To Ask For Space In A Relationship

5 Steps To Find Yourself Again

Have you seen the movie Eat, Pray, Love? Do you remember how Liz lost herself in her marriage and used the divorce as a wake-up call for self-discovery? She stepped out of her comfort zone and embarked on a long journey to know herself. So, if not a year-long international tour, what do you do when you feel like you’re losing yourself? Thinking about your relationship most of the time or seeking reassurance that everything is like before isn’t going to help your cause.

Rather you should use this as an opportunity to get in touch with the inner work of your mind, body, and soul and find answers to some important questions. What do you really want from life? What are the activities that make you genuinely happy? When you feel numb, what path do you take to feel peaceful again? We have some tips to share with you to find yourself again in a relationship and feel excited about your own interests and purpose in life:

1. Go solo

Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you stop enjoying solitude. Every once in a while, take out some ‘me’ time – just a few hours from your busy day. It could be going to a fancy dinner, shopping alone in a mall, eating alone at a café, running with earphones on, reading a book, drinking alone at some bar, or even taking a solo trip. The key to retaining your individuality in a relationship is to become your own best friend. Find your home in yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company.  

Related Reading: How To Love Yourself – 21 Self Love Tips

2. Ground yourself

Detachment from your own emotions and feelings is one of the signs of losing yourself in a relationship. So, it is important to create a balance between your mind, body, and soul. Grounding exercises can help you cope with the fear of losing yourself in a relationship:

• Practice deep breathing
• Spend some time in nature
• Listen to soothing music
• Get adequate sleep
• Maintain a gratitude journal or a journal where you can vent
• Do anything that moves your body like walking, dancing, or swimming
• Cut down on the negative thoughts and people and the other things that make you doubt your worth

3. Prioritize other people too

Just because you have a partner now doesn’t mean you underestimate the value of friendship in your life. Hang out with people who make you feel like the truest version of yourself. Spend more time with childhood friends, who love you even at your worst and don’t judge you or make you feel that you have to pretend in order to be accepted by them. The energy you gain from these people will give you the kick that keeps a relationship alive.

4. Be willing to walk away

Whether it’s a new relationship where mutual respect is fundamentally missing or an old relationship gone toxic for your mental health, these are signs you need to walk away from a relationship. You have to believe in the possibility that you have the power to create the life you want and you don’t have to settle for anything less than that (and treat it as the new normal). Know that compromising yourself all the time is not okay and be vocal about it if you can’t find the traits that make you ‘you’.

5. Seek therapy

Therapy is the greatest gift that you can give to yourself. When you talk to a licensed therapist, you feel heard and validated. Finding a release for your thoughts at a therapy session could be a good way to cope up with the fear of losing yourself in a relationship. A therapist can help you identify problems (rooted in childhood trauma) and can even give suitable solutions. Our counselors at Bonobology’s panel are just a click away. 

Now that you can spot your weakness from the probable signs of losing yourself in a relationship, don’t hesitate to put yourself first. If you want space, just be assertive and express it to your partner. You can only make your partner happy if you can make yourself happy. Fill your own cup first. Protect your own mental health. Once you are confident in your own skin and content about your own life, then only you can expect to devote yourself to a happy and healthy relationship.

This article has been updated in May, 2023.

FAQs

How To Emotionally Detach Yourself From Someone – 10 Ways

Separation Anxiety In Relationships – What Is It And How To Cope?

How To Leave A Toxic Relationship – Know From The Expert

Unfortunately, LGBTQ+ teens often deal with stressors like discrimination and bullying, which can negatively impact their mental health. This includes increased depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts and behavior. As we close out Mental Health Awareness Month (May) and welcome Pride Month (June), it’s the perfect time to raise awareness about mental health struggles for LGBTQ+ teens. Increasing visibility to these issues is more important than ever due to things like the “Don’t Say Gay” law in Florida, which prevents teachers from even mentioning sexual orientation or gender identity in school.

Although many teens’ mental health is affected by anti-LGBTQ+ measures and prejudice, there are also sources of support. I talked with some teens about their experiences and what has helped them.

The Facts

Just because someone identifies as LGBTQ+ does not mean they will struggle with depression or anxiety. However, the lack of acceptance they often face makes them more likely to. For instance, 73% of LGBTQ+ youth reported experiencing symptoms of anxiety and 58% reported experiencing symptoms of depression, according to The Trevor Project’s 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health, which collected data from LGBTQ+ young people in the U.S. aged 13 to 24.

Inclusivity and Acceptance

Self-acceptance can be difficult for LGBTQ+ teens. “I didn’t accept myself for the longest time,” shares Lily, 17, of Orlando, FL, who uses she/her pronouns. “I still felt societal pressure to be straight and I loathed that part of who I am.” As she worked to increase her self-worth, she found having peers that validated and accepted her to be helpful.

For some young people, their parents/caregivers, friends and peers show acceptance and respect. For others, like my friend Ella (not her real name), 16, of Colmar, PA, that’s not always the case. Ella, who uses she/her pronouns, says she knew her parents did not support people who are LGBTQ+. It was difficult for her to find the courage to come out to them as a lesbian. Unfortunately, when she did, she was told something was wrong with her. Reminder: there is nothing wrong with you if you identify as LGBTQ+. Over time, she developed symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Luckily, Ella felt inclusivity from her friends. With help from them and the school guidance counselor, she learned to accept herself.

I should add that not everyone feels comfortable coming out to family members. If there is any concern that family will not be supportive and there is a risk of abuse or neglect, it may be better to not reveal this part of yourself to them at this time and seek acceptance and support elsewhere.

What Can Help

As mentioned, having a solid group of friends or peers to talk with can be beneficial. “In times of difficulty, my friends were usually where I went,” says Lila, 16, of Marlton, NJ, who identifies as genderqueer and uses he/him pronouns. “Whenever I was scared or anxious…they were able to help and provide some comfort.”

Having a safe space allows for a sense of belonging. This can be different for different people. For some, it can be friends or family. For others, it can be a safe online space like Q Chat Space or TrevorSpace. Involvement in a sport or other extracurricular activity or hobby can bring a sense of community. So can being part of a GSA (which can stand for Gay–Straight Alliance, Gender-Sexuality Alliance, or something else) at school. Additionally, LGBTQ+ youth who found their school to be LGBTQ+ affirming reported lower rates of attempting suicide, according to The Trevor Project survey mentioned above.

Everyone is different, and it may feel difficult to find what works. Please know that there are resources to help LGBTQ+ young people when they are struggling.

 

If you are experiencing any distress and would like to talk to someone, check out these resources:
The Trevor Project
The Jed Foundation

OK, as a as a dating coach doing this for over 25 years, I have heard and seen quite a bit.

· When Carol*, 47, an architect in Texas came to me last month, she asked me why she hadn’t yet met the “one” yet despite being online for a year.

· Issue #1: Each man she had met in the last 6 months, she thought was the “one” …after the first date!

· Issue #2: She so much wanted to find love; she told me she was falling in love after each first date.

Carol is a positive, smart lady—-and I could go on and on with more she told me about her first dates, but falling in love after or during the first date? Uh-Uh. No way. That’s Hallmark movie stuff. Or desperation. Or many more adjectives.

So, let’s just jump in with mistakes (men, I’ve got you in the next article!):

1. Looking for a perfect partner
So, I am online working with a client…and this happens many times—as we are looking at potential online dates, they find something wrong with every single man. He’s an inch too short, he rides horses, his hair is receding, I don’t like photo #5 he posted. My solution? Rarely do you look at someone online (come on, it’s a photo and a written dating profile) and say wow, there’s a 95% chance I’m going to (like) love him. No, it’s the ones you are on the fence with—the 50/50’s that turn into sometime great first dates!

2. Talking about medical issues
What. Why. Unless you are showing up with an arm cast from a pickleball incident, absolutely no reason to talk about your health past. Remember, this is to be fun, not a medical consult.

3. Pretend interest in things you have zero interest in

Lauren 39, went on date last week and she liked Jerry—he had just gotten back from a golf trip to Scotland and was super excited talking about it. She told him she loved golf and was thinking of taking lessons. He texted for a second date—she texted me in a tizzy. “Andrea, how am I getting out of this golf thing? I hate golf”.

4. Trying to change him
Do you want him to change you? Like my daughter’s first grade teacher said about lunch “You git what you git and you don’t throw a fit”. If you really like him, why would you want to do this? Carmen told me she wished he was more outgoing. You can’t do a darn thing about that. I always say the only thing you can change….is some of their clothing!

more……..

Ready for summer dating? If not, I’m the girl to get you rocking and rolling. Sign up for a free 15-minute call to see if I can help—no pressure, no strings attached. Click here to Just go to my site and sign up.

5. Trusting too fast
Trust takes time. You don’t even know him yet and we try to put our best foot forward on the first date. Trust is not about words, but actions. Does he call when he says he’d call? He mentions planning something for July 4 weekend. Does he come through? Those are actions that inspire trust.

6. Too many drinks
Trina gets nervous on first dates. So, she pre-games with a cocktail. On her last date, she had 3 glasses of wine. You don’t want to be sloppy so come up with a better way to deal with nerves on a first date. I have an idea—go on lots of first dates and your confidence level will skyrocket

7. Inviting him over too soon
Most likely, a second date is too soon—unless it’s a party at your home. A second date invitation, cooking him dinner—well, too much, too soon. 99% of the time.

8. Not being positive
This can be so many things—from bashing an ex, bashing the dating site you are on, complaining about the weather. Major turn-off.

Bonus tip: Be gracious! Thank you is a big turn-on.

Have questions or comments? Please add them below as I’d love to hear what you are thinking.

Happy Dating!

Warmly,

Andrea McGinty
Founder, https://www.33000dates.com
Founder, It’s Just Lunch (sold)
Over 25+ years coaching singles with dating and relationships

*All names and locations are always changed

#datingcoach #datingmistakes #datingexpert #datingtips #onlinedating

 

This podcast comes from a blog post Jayson wrote for Elephant Journal where he polled over 200 women on his social media channels with this question:

Hetero-women: “What are you wanting from us men in the context of an intimate, monogamous partnership?”

Over 200 women responded. It was an emotional read. So, guys, listen up and take notes.

Timestamps:

• 2:02 – The top 6 things women want from men
• 3:46 – Willingness
• 5:02 – Emotional availability and vulnerability
• 7:12 – Presence
• 9:42 – Honesty
• 11:08 – Safety
• 12:09 – Self awareness
• 14:24 – Action step

Links:

• Order Jayson’s book: Getting to Zero
• Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code “First50”
• 3 Types of Men in Partnership, Which One Are You? – Relationship School Podcast #230
• For Men Who Have a Closed or Guarded Heart – Relationship School Podcast # 231
• Toxic Masculinity & Male Sexuality – Relationship School Podcast # 233
• The Relationship School
• The top 6 things women want from men (Advice from over 200 women)

As a society, we tend to put a lot of emphasis on finding the right partner to spend the rest of our lives with. And when it comes to marriage, the search for the perfect match can be even more intense. But what exactly are the qualities of a good woman to marry?

As Susanne M. Alexander, co-author of Couple Vitality: Connecting with Character wrote: “These qualities positively influence our thoughts, words, and actions. The resulting positive behaviors then improve our couple interactions and build our couple vitality.” These qualities are not just about looks or status, but rather about the inner strength, compassion, and integrity of a person. So if you’re on the hunt for your forever partner, here are 27 qualities of a good woman to marry.

What qualities should you look for in a good woman to marry? How do you know if she is “the one”? Look no further! We’ll help you figure out the qualities of a good woman before you think about the benefits of getting married to her. Marriage is a huge commitment, so you want to be with someone who will be a good match for you, both now and in the future. Of course, it’s crucial to keep in mind that nobody is flawless and that we all have our own quirks and weaknesses. 

In the list of qualities of a good woman to marry, someone who shares your beliefs, kindness, and aspirations and who makes you feel loved, supported, and fulfilled should be at the top. We have compiled a list of 27 must-have traits to look for in your future wife.

1. Thoughtfulness

While this may seem like an insignificant quality at first glance, it can have a big impact on the success and happiness of your relationship. In marriage, thoughtfulness is an essential quality to have in your partner. 

• She will pay attention to the little things that make a big difference, like remembering your favorite ice cream flavor or picking up your favorite brand of coffee on her way home
• She will surprise you with thoughtful romantic gestures that show she truly cares about your happiness
• She thinks of ways to make your life together better and make your relationship stronger

2. Being understanding

One of the most crucial qualities of a good woman to marry, being understanding implies being able to put yourself in others’ shoes and consider issues from their perspective.

• People relate to her and she gives them a sense of validation
• She is respectful of your needs and perspectives
• There is intimacy in the connection since she genuinely cares about your thoughts and experiences
• You feel like you can be yourself with her and share your feelings

3. Loyalty

Being committed to the relationship and supporting your spouse through good times and bad is what it means to be loyal.

• A loyal wife would be someone you can rely on to stick by your side
• She defends you in front of others
• She won’t entertain her friends and family gossiping about you
• She’ll honor her commitment to you

Loyalty in a relationship is crucial because when there’s doubt and a lack of trust between two partners, it may lead to a lot of tension and anxiety.

4. Adaptability

Adaptability keeps the partnership exciting and dynamic. If you don’t discover ways to keep things novel, it could result in complacency.

• She is not hesitant to improvise solutions to common and uncommon issues
• She doesn’t give up easily and always finds a way to get back up
• She is able to adapt her plans as necessary and go with the flow
• A flexible person makes an excellent marriage partner for a lifetime of adventures and growth because they can handle the ups and downs of life with elegance

Related Reading: 15 Relationship Milestones That Call For A Celebration

5. Rationality and intelligence

When it comes to the characteristics of a good woman to marry, these are important traits to consider. As per Harvard Health Publishing, a 2002 study found that the more educated a man’s wife, the lower his risk for coronary artery disease and risk factors such as hypertension, obesity, high cholesterol, smoking, and lack of exercise. And a 2009 study reported that such men also enjoyed a lower death rate than men married to less educated women.

• She is smart, she thinks critically and analyzes situations logically 
• She comes up with solutions and can articulate her thoughts effectively
• She doesn’t let her emotions take over her decisions
• This leads to a more practical and fulfilling relationship

6. Assertiveness

Any successful relationship requires assertiveness, and a competent wife knows how to hold her partner accountable while demanding equality and respect. She doesn’t hesitate to speak up and expresses herself positively.

• She can express her demands and establish healthy boundaries clearly
• She insists that there be equality and respect in the relationship
• She values the relationship’s honest and open communication

7. Self-awareness

Women with high emotional intelligence are more likely to avoid conflicts and make better partners. They are self-aware, acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses, and can maintain emotional maturity under pressure. They foster mutual support that is necessary for a happy and healthy marriage.

• She is capable of recognizing and expressing her feelings 
• She works hard to improve interpersonal and personal skills
• She ensures both she and her partner feel heard and valued

8. Self-confidence

When it comes to the qualities of a good woman to marry, self-confidence and strength of character are at the top of the list. 

• She knows what she believes in and is willing to stand up for those beliefs
• She openly communicates and is honest about what is important to her
• She can work through conflicts respectfully
• Strong values indicate personal integrity and character

Related Reading: Why Is Marriage Important? Expert Lists 13 Reasons

9. A forgiving nature

A relationship can’t thrive without two forgiving partners. It’s one of the qualities of a good partner in marriage.

• She is understanding toward her partner’s mistakes, recognizing that no one is perfect
• She can move forward in the relationship by making peace with the past, allowing for a fresh start
• She can communicate openly and honestly with her partner, rather than holding grudges or keeping score

Open communication and understanding are key to any healthy relationship, and the ability to forgive is key to making a relationship successful.

10. Open-mindedness

A connection that is truly meaningful and dynamic can only be achieved via open-mindedness, which promotes a deep understanding and progress within the relationship. It is something to consider before you consider marrying your partner.

• She is prepared to take other points of view into account, resulting in a more nuanced and perceptive connection
• She can change and advance alongside her spouse, making the marriage a voyage of personal development for both people
• She welcomes fresh perspectives and experiences – in daily practices to sexual intimacy to political beliefs – which makes the partnership more exciting

Related Reading: 12 Realistic Expectations In A Relationship

11. Trustworthiness

Marriage is a serious commitment, so you want to choose a partner you can rely on. 

• You can trust her to give you gentle and honest feedback about your work and behavior, while also not leaving your side
• She won’t play games with you, she won’t hide things or lie
• You can trust your secrets with her
• You can trust her to stay faithful
• She will be honest and forthright about her intent and emotions
• She is someone who follows through on her commitments

12. A good woman to marry is commitment-oriented

Commitment is one of the biggest qualities of a good woman to marry. Through all of life’s tribulations, this mutual quality serves as the glue that keeps a partnership together.

• She is committed to the connection and works hard to make it work
• She is prepared to compromise the right way for the relationship’s sake
• She is open to development and change and constantly seeks to enhance both the relationship and her own self
• She is devoted to her partner in private and public

13. Independence

According to a study done by the University of Michigan, having your own space and seclusion is more important to the well-being of your relationship than a happy sexual life. Independence is a desirable trait for any person in a relationship. A woman like that can bring a great balance in a marriage. 

• She has her own passions and interests and doesn’t rely on her partner to provide her with complete happiness or fulfillment
• She can make her own decisions and take charge of her own life
• She is financially independent and can support herself and her family
• She enjoys her own space and encourages you to have yours

Related Reading: 13 Reasons Why My Husband Is My Best Friend

14. Kindness

Before you consider marrying a woman, it is important to think about how kind she is to check whether she aligns with your values. Kindness is a quality that should not be disregarded.

• She prioritizes herself as well as others and makes them feel welcome
• She speaks, listens, and behaves kindly toward people, which is a calming influence in stressful situations
• She has a way of making you feel like the most significant person on earth

15. Honesty

When searching for the qualities of a good woman to marry, honesty stands tall like a beacon of light in a sea of uncertainty. 

• She is refreshingly transparent and genuine, with no secrets, hidden agendas, or doubts
• She creates a foundation of trust and mutual respect
• She compels you to be honest with her as well

So, if you are looking for a woman to spend the rest of your life with, look for someone who possesses the virtue of honesty, for it is the key to a rewarding marriage.

16. Supportiveness 

If you are searching for the perfect partner to spend forever with, one of the most desirable characteristics of a good woman to marry is her ability to be supportive.

• She lends a sympathetic ear when you need to talk or vent
• She is eager to pitch in, whether it’s with household chores or big life decisions
• She celebrates your victories and holds your hand through the lows

A supportive woman is someone worth holding onto for the long haul. With her by your side, you can conquer anything that comes your way.

Related Reading: 15 Tips That Keep A Relationship Strong And Happy

17. Sensitivity

When searching for that special someone to spend forever with, one must not overlook the importance of sensitivity in a partner. A sensitive woman is not only in tune with her own emotions, but also attuned to the needs and feelings of those around her. 

• She is a great listener and support system
• She picks up on subtle cues and changes in her partner’s mood
• She communicates her feelings clearly and honestly, helping to create a strong and healthy relationship
• A sensitive woman can tune into the emotional needs of her partner, making her a valuable and understanding partner

18. Good communication skills

A good woman should be able to communicate with her partner in a direct and efficient manner. These communication abilities are crucial for a happy marriage because they foster mutual respect, trust, and understanding.

• She is careful about the choice of words to express her feelings and views in a compassionate and clear manner
• She has the ability to steer contentious discussions and mediate between opposing viewpoints
• She can solve any problem that may emerge by being collected and coherent

A good marriage depends heavily on effective communication since it enables polite conflict resolution.

19. Humor 

One of the qualities of a good woman to marry that often goes overlooked is a sense of humor. 

• She can diffuse tense situations with a well-timed joke and find humor in everyday life
• She sees the lighter side of things and will work with you to keep the romance alive in your relationship
• She’s playful and makes sure you don’t take yourself too seriously

A woman who can see the humor in her quirks and imperfections is a woman who is comfortable in her skin and secure in her relationship.

20. Being down-to-earth

Being down-to-earth is a quality that is often looked for in an ideal partner. It is the ability to be practical, logical, and attentive to the needs of others, while still maintaining a sense of humor and staying grounded in reality. A woman with down-to-earth skills can make for an excellent life-long partner. 

• She is not easily swayed by material possessions or superficial trends
• She is practical and level-headed in her decision-making
• She is empathetic and understanding and can get along with anyone

21. Ambition

An ambitious and independent woman has not only a clear vision for her career but also a burning enthusiasm for life.

• She assesses and plans her drive to reach her goals, regardless of their size
• She does not settle for mediocrity
• She is motivated in her career and passions, as well as in pursuing personal growth and self-improvement
• She loves to see you follow your dreams as well

A woman who is ambitious won’t be afraid to take risks and work toward her objectives. She is a trailblazer who refuses to follow the crowd.

Related Reading: 6 Things To Whisper In His Ears And Make Him Blush

22. Generosity

When looking for a long-term partner, you want someone selfless and willing to go the extra mile for you. 

• She respects you and supports you completely even in the midst of a conflict
• She shares her time and energy and gives resources to help those in need 
• She’s abundant in her love and expresses affection for you freely

In an equal relationship, both partners must work together and are willing to put the other first. Marry a woman with these qualities, and you will be rewarded with a lifetime of love and support.

23. Patience

Patience is a virtue that is often overlooked in the search for the perfect partner, but it is one of the most precious qualities of a good woman to marry. 

• She can be trusted to make the right decisions, even when the path ahead is uncertain
• She will help you to express yourself at the pace you choose for yourself
• She won’t rush you to make decisions and give you ample space and time
• She doesn’t need quick conflict resolutions, but effective ones

It is the foundation upon which all other qualities are built. When searching for your perfect partner, don’t overlook the importance of patience.

24. Self-control

A person must show themselves capable of self-control before you even think of getting married to them.

• A woman with self-control may manage her emotions, reactions, and conduct more efficiently
• She won’t make snap judgements; instead, she will remain cool-headed and make well-informed decisions
• She will set priorities for her time and workload, staying true to her objectives and obligations
• She will be able to handle disagreements and conflicts in a mature manner, and not lash out

You can count on a woman who has self-control to make choices that are best for her and her family and to honor her obligations.

25. Romantic gestures

Among all the characteristics that make a good wife in marriage, she never fails to express her love in a variety of ways. She understands your love language and makes an effort to love you the way you feel loved. Whether it’s through words of affirmation, through acts of service, through quality time, etc. She takes great satisfaction in being your partner and her love for you is unwavering. She makes you feel safe and valued. 

As you embark on your journey to find the right woman to marry, remember that you too need to echo the above qualities in order to be a good match for her. Another one of the qualities of a good woman to marry is that she should be someone who brings out the best in you and challenges you to grow, and you should do the same for her. Ultimately, it is the connection and chemistry between the two of you that will determine if you are truly a good match. So, take your time in finding the best partner for yourself. We wish you the joy of a beautiful, supportive, and loving relationship.

The 5 Types Of Love Languages And How To Use Them For Happy Relationships

13 Non-Sexual Touches To Feel Intimate And Close

20 Simple And Easy Ways To Be Romantic

In the journey of life, our attitudes shape the lens through which we perceive the world and navigate its challenges. The power of a positive attitude cannot be overstated, as it has the potential to transform our experiences, uplift our spirits, and propel us towards success.

We’ll uncover a treasure trove of insightful quotes that encapsulate the essence of this transformative mindset. These words of wisdom, shared by philosophers, leaders, and visionaries from various walks of life, offer guidance, motivation, and a gentle reminder of the incredible impact a positive attitude can have on our lives.

Content:

1. “If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” —Frances Hodgson Burnett

2. “A positive attitude may not solve all our problems but that is the only option we have if we want to get out of problems.” —Subodh Gupta

3. “I don’t think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains.” —Anne Frank

4. “You can often change your circumstances by changing your attitude.” —Eleanor Roosevelt

5. “To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.” —Muhammad Ali

6. “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” —Dolly Parton

7. “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope.” —Helen Keller

8. “The sun himself is weak when he first rises, and gathers strength and courage as the day gets on.” —Charles Dickens

9. “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” —Thomas Jefferson

10. “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” -Henry Ford

11. “Your attitude can take you forward or your attitude can take you down. The choice is always yours!” —Catherine Pulsifer

12. “Convince yourself every day that you are worthy of a good life. Let go of stress, breathe. Stay positive, all is well.” —Germany Kent

13. “When a happy person comes into the room, it is as if another candle has been lit.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

14. “A strong positive attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.” —Patricia Neal

15. “Do not allow negative thoughts to enter your mind for they are weeds that strangle confidence.” —Bruce Lee

16. “Keep your face always toward the sunshine—and shadows will fall behind you.” —Walt Whitman

17. “I’m too busy working on my own grass to see if yours is greener.” —Unknown

18. “Faith is having a positive attitude about what you can do and not worrying at all about what you can’t do.” —Joyce Meyer

19. “No one else makes us angry. We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude.” —Jim Rohn

20. “A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour.” —Unknown

21. All your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them.” —Walt Disney

22. “Life is your seesaw. You may not stay balanced long, but you can aim for a high after every low.” —Sanita Belgrave

23. “Keeping one’s attitude positive, especially when the world conspires to make us mad, is one of the great accomplishments of life.” —Brendon Burchard

24. “Believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to success.” —Charles F. Glassman

25. “Be positive. Your mind is more powerful than you think. What is down in the well comes up in the bucket. Fill yourself with positive things.” —Tony Dungy

26. “A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.” —Unknown

27. “Know that your success is based entirely on your attitude, your commitment and self-discipline. You are the only person who can generate a new mindset.” —Ellen Mensap

28. “Nothing good stands without the right attitude. You may know how to do it, but if the attitude is negative, all you can say is ‘I could have done it.’” —Israelmore Ayivor

29. “In every day, there are 1,440 minutes. That means we have 1,440 daily opportunities to make a positive impact.” —Les Brown

30. “Have a positive attitude toward life. It does not mean that you are unrealistic, but that you know that you can turn around whatever happens in your life.“ —Julia Vergara

31. “A positive attitude towards life is the strongest shield against the demoralizing arrows of life!” —Mehmet Murat ildan

32. “You are the conductor of your own attitude! Nobody else can compose your thoughts for you.” —Larry Hargraves

33. “Positive anything is better than negative nothing.” —Elbert Hubbard

34. “A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You won’t get anywhere until you change it.” —Unknown

35. “I will always find a way and a way will always find me.” —Charles F. Glassman

36. “Attitude is a way of life. We have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day.” —Puneet Sharma

37. “Having the positive belief that it will all be OK just means that you hustle and make it work because failure is not even an option in your own mind.” —Natalie Massenet

38. “Positive thinkers see possibilities, choose to pursue them, and more easily bounce back from failure. They have more energy and hope, and encounter more opportunities.” —Stan Tole

39. “There is too much negativity in the world. Do your best to make sure you aren’t contributing to it.” —Germany Kent

40. “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” —Milton Berle

When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you might feel like you’ve lost the spark. Everything may have felt exciting at first, but as time passes, you may begin to notice that your relationship hasn’t taken the trajectory you had hoped for. As a result, you may find yourself unable to shake off the “something feels off in my relationship” feeling, or find yourself wondering, “Why does my relationship feel off?”

Relationships necessitate commitment, effort, trust, enough quality time, and understanding. We understand that every relationship is unique, but mutual understanding and equal effort are among the basic ingredients of the secret recipe for a happily-ever-after. If these key ingredients are missing from your connection, you may frequently wonder, “What to do when things feel off in a relationship?” 

Don’t worry, “My relationship doesn’t feel right” doesn’t have to be a permanent sentiment you’re doomed to live with. You can reverse this worrisome trend by focusing on strengthening your relationship and intimacy with your partner.

What Does Something Feels Off Exactly Mean?

Relationships are wonderful yet complex, and sometimes just plain confusing. You may wonder, something feels off in my relationship, but what does that mean? It could be a physical symptom, such as stomach pain, heart palpitations, or sweating. It could be an emotional reaction, such as unease, sadness, anxiety, or fear.

It could be a sense of mistrust or betrayal, triggered by something your partner did or didn’t do. Or it could be a general sense of unease that something has changed in your relationship but you don’t know what. These are all ways of your body and mind telling you that something isn’t right. And that’s precisely what “something feels off” means. Now what that something is and what can you do about it is for you to figure out, and we’re here to hold your hand through this journey of examination and introspection.

Why Does Something Feel Off In Your Relationship?

When you first meet someone, you’re consumed by a heady rush of emotions and put them on a pedestal. Every day is filled with discoveries about each other and not a day goes by where you feel bored. In the process, you may overlook a few things here and there, but these things will make their presence felt more strongly over time, contributing to your feeling of something being off in your relationship.

All those butterflies you felt could turn into pesky bees and start to sting your otherwise healthy relationship. If you find yourself asking, “Why does my relationship feel off?”, one or several of the following factors may be at play:

• You believe your partner is not as invested in the relationship as you 
• Your partner is not paying enough attention to you
• You have doubts about your compatibility and are not on the same page
• There is a lack of communication in the relationship 
• Effort in the relationship feels one-sided
• There’s something lacking in your sex life

Every relationship goes through a rough patch; noticing that your relationship is on-and-off or something is off in it is a sign that you need to work on making your equation healthier and functional. If you notice that something isn’t working, you should discuss it with your partner immediately. Bottling it up will only make things go downhill.

How Do You Fix A Relationship Feeling Off?

It is difficult to save a relationship that is sinking, but it is even more heartbreaking to see a bond you worked hard to build wither away. However, every relationship requires a certain amount of patience and effort. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to your question, “Something feels off but I don’t know what?”

The reasons can vary from a minor disagreement that escalated into a big fight because all the bottled-up resentment just erupted to infidelity, lack of trust, or poor communication. One thing is certain, things got to this point over time. While feeling that something is amiss in your connection with your SO is certainly a sign of trouble, it does not mean that your relationship cannot be salvaged. If your gut feeling is, “Something feels off in my relationship”, don’t worry. We’ve got you covered. Here are ten tips to help you rekindle your lost spark and help you save your failing relationship:

1. Set a date for your date

In the non-stop hustle and bustle of life and when your relationship undergoes life-altering changes, carving out quality time for one another becomes a little challenging. This can make partners feel out of sync with each other. So, if you’ve been asking yourself, “Why does my relationship feel off?”, take some time to introspect about whether you and your partner have been prioritizing each other.

If not, you need to make an effort to carve out quality time for each other. Wondering how to do that? 

• Set a date or a day of the month when you spend time just with each other 
• Rather than staying inside and going with the tried-and-true ‘Netflix and Chill’ routine, get out of the house and do something more fun and livelier
• Go grocery shopping and grab a quick meal in between, go to the arcade, or book a spa for couples, anything that can make you two relaxed and rekindle the spark in your relationship works

If you are in a long-distance relationship,

• Make it a point to earmark one day of the week when you give a few hours to one another exclusively
• Talk about your week, share a meal, watch something together, and pour your hearts out even if there is a screen between you two, make it a date night if possible

No barrier can keep you apart for an extended period when you both want a relationship to succeed. 

2. Communication is key to reviving the connection

It’s common to feel like something is off in a relationship if you and your partner have been in a relationship or married for a while. When you spend significant time with someone, a routine or pattern takes hold. However, when thoughts like “something feels off in my relationship” or “my relationship doesn’t feel the same” start popping into your head, it’s time to break the pattern.

It’s wonderful to ask about your partner’s day and share your own. But after a point, it starts to seem quite robotic. Try different approaches to better communication. Instead of asking, “How was your day?”, try asking,

•  “How are things at work?”
• “How do you feel about work today?” 
• “Was college fun today?”
• “Is there something fascinating you want to share?” 

These questions will help you build a stronger connection and give you more things to talk about. Discussions and conversations that are fresh and enjoyable might give your relationship a little bit of a happy spark.

Related Reading: How To Connect With Your Partner On A Deeper Level – Expert Helps

3. Be transparent with each other

You cannot ignore the elephant in the room for too long. If infidelity (suspected or confirmed) is the reason your relationship feels off, it will be very difficult for the cheating partner to regain trust. Broken trust is like broken glass. Even if you glue it together, it won’t ever be the same. 

Have you, however, heard of Kintsugi? The Japanese art of mending shattered objects with gold is a metaphor for accepting one’s imperfections and flaws. With complete honesty and openness, you can begin the process of repairing your relationship as well. Be honest and stop lying to your partner. If you dislike what they did or are doing, let them know. Make them feel at ease so they too can speak their mind if their feelings are the same. 

Apologize if you are aware that your actions caused them even the slightest hurt, especially if you can’t fight the “something has changed in my relationship” feeling. Apologize sincerely. Your ability to gain back the lost trust and strengthen your connection depends on you being open and honest about your choices, your behavior, and your mistakes.

4. Take responsibility for your actions

You will benefit on many levels if you take responsibility in your relationship for your words and actions. The least your partner can expect from you is honesty and truth. You must take complete responsibility if your actions hurt your partner or violated their trust in any way. It will not only help you win back their trust, which can be life-altering but also help you build a healthy relationship. 

Even if you’re struggling with the feeling, “Something feels off but I don’t know what”, don’t resort to blaming your partner or looking for excuses to justify your actions. Blame-shifting is a big no-no in relationships. You might use it to help you escape a certain circumstance, but the guilt, my friend, will never leave you.

Being defensive or self-critical will simply make the situation worse. Be truthful and take accountability without placing blame or guilt-tripping anyone. Communicating about your problems and doubts will help you and your partner. It is the best shot you can take when the relationship doesn’t feel right. Some of the ways you can take responsibility for your actions can be,

• Acknowledge what you did: Be honest with yourself and others about your actions and their consequences
• Own up to your mistake: Admit to those affected that you made a mistake and that you are sorry
• Accept the consequences: Take responsibility for the consequences of your actions, whether that means making amends or facing disciplinary action

5. Seek professional help

If things are not going well, and you’re not sure what to do when things feel off in a relationship, you can seek professional help from relationship therapists. This will undoubtedly allow you to identify what exactly is lacking in your bond as well as what you both specifically need from your relationship and ways to meet those needs. 

“I was too busy working and traveling for a year, and I thought our relationship was falling apart. I was hesitant when Angie suggested we get professional help, but it helped us grow and learn more about each other, which made our relationship stronger,” says Ronnie, a marketing professional. 

Asking for help can be hard when a problem arises. You may think you and your partner can handle it alone, but that’s not always true. Sometimes, getting professional help is better than struggling to make headway by yourselves. All in all, it boils down to 2 points that you need to remember,

• If you’ve been trying to light the spark in your relationship but to no avail, it can be important to seek the help of a professional who just might offer the extra kindling you need to get that flame roaring
• Sometimes it takes an outsider’s perspective to pinpoint what’s missing in your bond. A therapist, relationship counselor, or marriage counselor can play that role and help you figure out what you and your partner need to take things to the next level

If you’re considering getting help, skilled and licensed mental health experts on Bonobology’s panel are here to assist.

6. Respect each other’s boundaries

Respecting each other’s boundaries – physical, emotional, financial, or any other – is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Your personal space is sacred, and if someone, even your loved one, invades it without consent, it can cause issues that can make the relationship unstable.

If a partner doesn’t consent to something, the other must understand and accept it, without trying to force or cajole their way. It’s perfectly acceptable to say no to your partner if you don’t feel comfortable doing something. Here is what setting or enforcing boundaries may look like, 

• “I don’t feel comfortable being held/touched like this” 
• “I’d like to be alone for some time, I need a little space”
• “I appreciate your concern, but I need you to respect my choices and decisions even if you don’t agree with them”
• “I want to be honest with you about my feelings, but I also need you to be respectful of my boundaries. Can we work together to create a safe and supportive space for open communication?”

If your boundaries are violated, communicating about it is the healthiest thing to do. Likewise, if someone you care about is sad, you may want to help them, which is admirable. But don’t forget to respect their choices. If your partner needs some emotional space, don’t try to guilt them into sharing it; instead, give them the alone time they need. 

Don’t try to fix their problems; it may make them feel dependent and unstable in your relationship. You don’t want your partner to feel insecure or rely on you too much, right? Sometimes you may hurt them without meaning to, so know when to help and when to stay away.

Related Reading: The 7 Types Of Boundaries You Need To Make Your Relationship Stronger

7. Balance out different aspects of your lives

Maintaining a work-life and love-life balance isn’t as difficult as it appears. Relationships are built not only on trust but also on understanding and the occasional compromise. The key is to create a balance and keep your professional and personal lives separate. Don’t get them mixed up. When you’re with your partner, try not to complain about your job too much and instead focus on each other. 

If you constantly complain about how bad your work day was or how much work you have and no time on your hands, your partner may feel guilty about expecting quality time or attention from you.

Understand one another’s schedules and plan your dates accordingly. If you know your partner will be unavailable, do not make plans on their behalf. You can’t be with each other all the time, and that’s precisely why striking a balance between work and love life will strengthen your bond and keep thoughts like “something feels off in my relationship” away from your mind.

8. Don’t let your past affect your present and future

Don’t let past relationships or experiences influence your current relationship. Rather than dwelling on, “My relationship doesn’t feel the same”, ask yourself, “Why?” And you may well find the answer to, “Why does my relationship feel off?” If you find yourself dwelling on your or your partner’s past mistakes or relationships, you are blocking your future from unfolding.

So, start making peace with your past and stop dwelling on past issues and problems if you have already resolved them. Yes, it can be difficult to let go of some things but it’s a good idea to try to move forward. To prevent your relationship from failing, you must learn to forgive and move forward. Steer clear of bringing up old fights in new arguments.

In a relationship, disagreements, and fights are unavoidable. However, these don’t have to spell doom for your future together. Adopt a policy of “solve and sleep”. Don’t go to bed until you’ve resolved minor conflicts. But if you believe the problem is intense, give yourself and your partner some time to calm down. 

9. Express yourself more often

Express yourself more often. Let your partner know how you feel by preparing a cute bento lunch box for them or sending them flowers when they are having a bad day to show them how much you care. Little gestures can really make a big difference in showing your partner you really care. Some of these gestures can be, 

• Holding them when they are down
• Leaving them a heartfelt note or message expressing your love and appreciation
• Taking on a chore or task that they’ve been dreading, so they don’t have to do it
• Offer a comforting hug or physical touch when they’re feeling down or stressed

For instance, when Angie was having a bad week, a simple “I love you” text from Ronnie made her smile. It was a simple gesture, but it gave her a boost of energy. Similarly, when Ronnie was working overtime for more than a week, Angie sent him a handmade meal box with a note that said, “You have got it. Don’t forget to rest and don’t burn yourself out” which was enough to make him smile.

It is important to say “I love you” and “I am here for you” regularly. It is necessary to communicate your discomfort, express your feelings, and be a little cliché for your relationship to sail through turbulent waters.

Related Reading: 15 Super Cute Ways To Express Your Feelings To Someone You Love

10. Don’t forget to focus on yourself 

As much as you must devote time and attention to your partner, you must also devote time and attention to yourself. They say that partners complete each other, but that doesn’t mean you don’t work on yourself in the areas where you fall short. It is necessary to dedicate time to your hobbies and interests to grow and learn.

Your partner may be your best friend but you also have other friends. Do not feel bad about spending time with them once in a while. Go out and have some fun; sometimes enjoying yourself without your partner is necessary. Allow your partner to do the same.

It will help you in gaining confidence and prevent any toxic traits from entering your relationship. When you fall in love with yourself, you gain confidence and self-esteem. When you are content with yourself and feel adequate, you become more attractive. Do not confine yourself to your relationship or your partner.

While it’s great to be committed to making it work and turning it into a long-term relationship, remember that you cannot row the boat by yourself. It is necessary to know when to let go of things, whether it is a bad habit, a relationship, or a bunch of red flags that are present. For instance, if your relationship has turned toxic or abusive, it may be best to move on rather than stay stuck in a relationship that feels off and will continue to. On the other hand, if both you and your partner are equally committed to working on a relationship that has weak spots and put in equal effort to revive it, reconciliation won’t be hard. 

This post was updated in May 2023

FAQs

How To Fix Lack Of Communication In A Relationship – 15 Expert Tips

Breakup Healing Process – How To Heal After A Breakup

12 Things You Should Never Compromise On In A Relationship