Category: Dating & Love

The velvet Chesterfield is a timeless piece of furniture that has graced many home living rooms. The luxurious yet traditional style and unique design make it an eye-catching choice for any room, be it modern or classic. However, selecting the best one for your space can seem complex with so many variations available. 

But don’t worry; with our comprehensive guide on choosing a velvet Chesterfield sofa, you will quickly navigate this process and find the perfect option for your needs. This blog post contains everything you need to know while shopping for a new Chesterfield sofa.

Explore The Different Types

Choosing the right velvet Chesterfield sofa for your living room can be intimidating. With numerous options, exploring the different types is essential to make an informed decision. Thus, take a look at the following types:

• Button-tufted Velvet sofa: the button-tufted velvet sofa features deep diamond tufting that adds classic elegance to any space. 
• Rolled-arm: the rolled-arm velvet sofa showcases a traditional design with gently curved arms that provide ample support. 
• Clean-lined: If you are among those who seek a modern take on the Chesterfield sofa, then a clean-lined and minimalist velvet sofa could be the way to go. 
• Split Arm: Another stylish option is the split-seam sofa, which offers a contemporary update to the classic design. 
• Low-Back: the low-back velvet sofa provides a unique twist, allowing for a more spacious and open feel in the room. 

Regardless of your preference, consider selecting a high-quality velvet that has been expertly crafted and is durable enough to withstand everyday use. By exploring the different types of velvet Chesterfield sofas, you’ll be one step closer to finding the perfect piece for your living room. 

Analyse The Various Colour Options

Choosing the right Colour can make a world of difference. Thus, analysing various colours is recommended before selecting one for your home. Take a look:

• There are modern and classic colour options to choose from that can enhance the aesthetic of your space. Some Colours, such as navy blue or dark red velvet, offer a classic vintage feel, while the emerald green velvet can help breathe a unique, one-off look into your living space.
• Another popular and on-trend Colour is blush pink velvet, a soft and delicate option that adds a feminine touch to a room. 
• Neutral shades like grey and beige adapt to any space and can be elevated with colourful cushions and blankets.
• Blue is versatile and adds visual impact.

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Eventually, the colour option you choose for your Velvet Chesterfield Sofa will depend on your taste and the decor of your living room. But with such a variety of colour options available, finding the perfect one for you should be an easy task.

Review The Different Features

A velvet Chesterfield sofa symbolises elegance and sophistication in any living room. To choose the right one, it is essential to review the different features offered by these timeless pieces of furniture. For instance:

• The tufting pattern can vary, from deep diamond to button tufting, each offering a unique look and feel.
• The type of velvet used can also make a significant difference, with options ranging from sumptuous cotton velvet to durable synthetic blends.
• The style of legs can vary, including simple wooden legs or ornate metal designs.

 Assess Your Living Space Size

It is crucial to consider the room’s dimensions and your furniture layout to ensure that the sofa fits comfortably without overcrowding the space. Opt for a two-seater or three-seater sofa if you have a smaller living room. It offers enough seating space while leaving enough room for other furniture pieces. 

On the other hand, if you have a larger living room, go for a four-seater or L-shape sofa that will make a bold statement and add a touch of elegance to the space. Besides, take note of any doors or windows that might affect the placement of your sofa. 

By analysing your living space and choosing the right size for your velvet Chesterfield sofa, you are well on your way to creating a cozy and inviting ambience in your home.

Measure Seat Depth And Focus On The Quality Of The Velvet

When choosing the right velvet Chesterfield sofa for your living room, there are several factors to consider, like seat depth and velvet quality. The measurement of seat depth is crucial to ensure comfort and support. This measurement determines how far back you can sit without feeling like you are falling off the sofa. 

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The quality of the velvet is also essential. A sofa crafted with high-quality velvet will be more luxurious, durable, and wear and tear-resistant. Standards of high-quality velvet include cotton and linen blends with a soft touch and hypoallergenic properties. Besides, velvet from natural fibres tends to hold up better over time. 

By focusing on these details, you can ensure you choose the best velvet Chesterfield sofa for your living room that will provide comfort and style for years to come.

Check The Cushions And Invest In A Good Frame

The Chesterfield sofa is a classic piece of furniture that has been around for centuries. When choosing one for the living room, checking the cushions and investing in a reasonable frame are essential. 

The sofa cushions are what you sit on, so it’s essential to choose the right ones. Fabric upholstery simplifies cleaning, and washable fabric cushions keep your Chesterfield sofa looking as good as new. 

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A well-designed and ergonomic frame is crucial for the comfort of the sofa. A reasonable frame is made of hardwood, such as oak or maple, and is glued and screwed together to ensure durability.

Conclusion

You have several options when choosing the right velvet Chesterfield sofa for your living room. 

A velvet Chesterfield sofa always appears regardless of your taste or home decor. This type of sofa is elegant and stylish but also comfortable and well-built. It is a perfect option for most properties with limited space. The best way to know the best option is to look at some styles on offer. Consider our guide to decide which velvet sofa is the right fit for you.

Sexual Health

Sex, in itself, is a powerful way to bond with a person. In fact, when you orgasm, you release mood-boosting, bond-building chemicals in your body, such as oxytocin and vasopressin – in addition to a handful of other endorphins.

The best part? You can ride this high to your next activity with your partner, so you can continue to strengthen the bond hours after sex.

Wondering what to do after sex to create deeper unity between you and your sexual partner? We reached out to a handful of sex and relationship experts for their advice on making the most of those precious post-coitus feelings.

Here are some of the most effective ways to keep the flame going even after you’ve wound down from the throes of passion.

Cuddling After Sex

Cuddling after is so effective, it’s what most of us intuitively know to do.

According to a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, couples who devote time after sex to demonstrating affection towards one another have more satisfying sex lives and build a deeper, longer-lasting connection.

The study found that cuddling – defined in their study as a form of care after sex, which can include physical intimacy like spooning, kissing, and caressing – is especially important for women and partners with children. As for men, such demonstrations of non-sexual affection, increase their sexual satisfaction, which boosts their perception of the relationship.

Because cuddling after sex makes both partners feel good, it creates a sort of reward system, says Amy Muise, Ph.D., a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto. When something makes us feel good, we want to do it again, which is a surefire way to build a lasting bond.

“I think couples should be aware that the period after sex could be particularly important for bonding,” says Muise. “If possible, spending more time being affectionate after sex could enhance feelings of sexual and relationship satisfaction.”

Cook Something Up Together

It’s not a myth; sex does burn calories — especially when you’re doing it right. There’s a good chance you’ll both be feeling famished after good sex, so why not engage in an after-sex bonding activity that encourages collaboration, while filling your bellies?

If you’re wondering what to do after sex to create an intimate connection, cooking gives you the opportunity to create something together, which fosters a shared sense of satisfaction (as well as plenty of opportunities to sneak in a few kisses).

Cooking with your partner allows you to stay present, writes Jaime Young for PopSugar. “When you do active things together such as cooking, you feel connected to your other half, which can help strengthen your bond,” adds Young. “Activities like watching TV don’t always feel like quality time since it’s more difficult to be present or have a discussion.”

Bonus: there’s also a good chance what you cook in your own kitchen will be healthier than what you order at a restaurant, and a smart diet plays an important role in your sex life. Boost your sex life while engaging in some after-sex bonding – a win-win!

Clueless in the kitchen? Meal prep kits, like HelloFresh, Marley Spoon, and Green Chef are the perfect couple’s activity and will teach you essential cooking techniques for your long and lasting relationship together.

Create an Aftercare Kit & Then Use it!

Kayna Cassard, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Sex Therapist at Intuitive Sensuality) recommends making a little basket, bag, or container with items that make you feel happy and comforted for intimacy after sex. You should store your aftercare kit by or under your bed, so it’s easily accessible for sex bonding.

The care after sex kit can contain any number of items that bring you joy, but Cassard recommends:

1. A special blanket that’s warm and snuggly you can wrap each other in
2. Faux fur gloves you can stroke your partner’s body with
3. Recovery treats, like water, delicious dark chocolate, to satisfy those post-sex cravings, while nourishing the body after your sexy workout.
4. A little journal that you both contribute to overtime, writing little love notes to each other. After sex, you can bring it out and read some of the entries to each other while you snuggle.

“The goal of your little care after sex kit is to make sex not just about the act itself, but about a whole process of connecting more deeply and being more intimate with each other,” says Cassard.

“In sex therapy sessions, couples often tell me that the whole reason they want to have sex is for the connection and intimacy after sex, but we miss out on this if we’re only focused on the physical act and not the bonding and intimacy that can come before (in foreplay) and after with little moments of appreciation and focused attention on our partner feeling good in ways that are not sexual.”

Go For a Run

…or any other type of workout you both enjoy. A study conducted by sex toy company Adam & Eve found that athletes who had sex with a partner before performing saw a 3% increase in agility and a .7% increase in strength. You might as well use those endorphins to kickstart your workout and build a mutual sense of satisfaction together.
Similarly to eating healthy, exercise can also be a great way to boost your stamina and sex life.

“Sharing a fitness goal (such as training for a 5K or triathlon), taking regular runs together, ballroom dancing, or having a date night at the gym can boost the quality of your romantic relationship,” writes Theresa E DiDonato Ph.D. for Psychology Today.

Sex bonding is one of the major factors in long-term relationship success. If you’re gonna work on your strength, cardio, and flexibility for your partner, why not do it when you’re feeling all revved up after sex?

Indulge Your Partner in a Massage

“Afterglow activities are as important as foreplay when it comes to building intimacy after sex,” says Jessica Boss, relationship YouTuber, love coach, and writer at LoveLearnings.com. “When you’re post-coital, you’re in a vulnerable position, which means the bonds built during this time are resilient.”

Boss recommends taking time for care after sex that focuses on massage and touch. Exploring and complimenting your partner’s body is a great way to make them feel secure in your love and comfortable about their body. “Think sensual, not sexual. You want them to know that you appreciate their body and making them feel good, outside of just sex.”

For the best massage experience, check out our guide on how to give your partner a mind-blowing sensual massage and don’t forget to use a lubricant like our organic massage oil; the perfect blend of hydrating oils allows you add depth to your massage session.

Engage in Post-Play

We’ve all heard of foreplay, but post-play can be just as rewarding.

“Don’t stop the touch! The body and senses are super activated from all of the post-sex oxytocin,” says Amy Baldwin, Certified Sex Educator, sex and relationship coach, and co-host of the Shameless Sex Podcast. “While the sexual touch (genitals) may be off-limits for many folks, the rest of the body is in prime condition for receiving yummy, sensual touch.”

Baldwin recommends using your fingers or lips to lightly explore the front and back of your partner’s neck, back, shoulders, ears, and inner thighs.

“Think of sex as the main course and sensual aftercare as the dessert,” adds Baldwin.

Bonus: tell your partner what you loved about the sex session while you are lovingly caressing them. Somatic learning (meaning through the body) is hugely effective, so sharing words of appreciation combined with touch can help the information to really sink in.

Initiate an Afterglow Ritual

“The joy and ecstasy we feel immediately after an intimate experience can be extended for days, even weeks, by creating a ritual specifically to enhance ‘afterglow,’” says Coltrane Lord, author of The Kinky Vanilla Love Project: The Sexy Soulful Journey from Betrayal To Bliss.

Afterglow rituals should be easy to access and employ all of the senses. You can make them as short as 5 minutes or stretch it out for however long you need. A few care after sex rituals Coltrane suggests include:

• Try touching your foreheads together and breathe in and out together for a few breaths. This allows both bodies to synchronize in rhythm. The Hawaiians call this the Aloha breath, “we breathe as one.” Then you pull apart just a little bit and eye gaze for a few more breaths for a visual connection.
• Show some post-sex affection by giving each other a “word bath,” which are words of praise for each other. For example, “you are beautiful,” “you make me feel safe,” or you can be light and funny, “you are great in bed!” The idea is to allow your partner to hear compliments and feel positive emotions through verbal feedback. Then you give each other a prolonged kiss to get a lasting taste of the afterglow of your lovemaking.
• Use your favorite (organic) essential oil to anoint each other on the heart for closure. Simply put a dab of the scented oil (like jasmine, rose, ylang-ylang or create your own mix) on your finger and use your finger to place the scent on the heart center. You can keep these scents around in various parts of your home or keep with you to create a sensory memory of your lovemaking.

Binge-Watch Netflix

Relationships between sexual partners are solidified by sharing their histories, social connections, and experiences. Just like meeting a partner’s friends or traveling together can help build bonds, watching movies or TV with your partner can create a shared vocabulary – provided you’re engaged while doing it!

“Sharing TV shows and movies with one another might allow couples to maintain closeness by creating a sense that they share social connections,” writes Sarah Gomillion for Scientific American. “Sharing such social connections makes couples feel closer and more satisfied with their relationships. It may even help keep relationships together. Couples with more shared social connections are less likely to break up over time than couples with fewer shared connections.”

In addition to building a deeper wealth of shared experiences, watching a movie or tv show together provides a great opportunity for physical touch. Curl up on the couch together post-sex and watch your relationship blossom.

Julia Austin, at Madame Noire, recommends sticking with something lighter, such as reality TV. “Your brain can’t really handle a documentary on the political infrastructure of this country,” writes Austin. “But a little dumb TV somehow feels just right when you’re in that hazy, mush-brained, post-coital state of mind.”

Shower Together

Sweaty after sex? Taking a shower together is a great way to cool down while further building the intimacy after sex between you and your partner.

According to the experts at DrHealthBenefits.com,  “Bathing together with a partner is the same as embracing in bed. By bathing together, it’s as if you share everything together with your partner. That way your relationship with a partner will be more intimate and increased from the aspect of sensuality.”

“It feels so…complete,” adds Austin in Madame Noire. “You get dirty together, and then you get clean together.”

Have More Sex!

By round two, there’s a good chance she’s more warmed up, and he can go a little longer. You’re already undressed, in bed, and feel safe and comfortable with one another.

A second round of sex will reconfirm your desire for each other, which eliminates doubt. Knowing you’re so hot for your partner you can go twice in a row is a powerful way to express the depth of your feelings for each other. And for those marathon sessions, don’t forget to add your favorite lube!

Ever wondered what to do after sex? Without a doubt, sex is an incredible way to build a bond between two people, but what you do after, can further solidify the deal. By engaging with each other in a meaningful way after sex, two people can ride the “afterglow” to a deeper relationship.

Answer the question: “What do you do after sex to bond with your partner?” by tweeting us @ASTROGLIDE.

Fatigue has become a common problem in today’s fast-paced society due to hectic schedules and taxing jobs. You might be among those people who need a cup of coffee to wake up. Caffeine, however, has side effects that might harm your health, such as high cholesterol and blood pressure. Alternatives without caffeine frequently provide you with little energy.

The good news is that natural caffeine substitutes have additional health advantages and can help with weariness. You may preserve energy levels and enhance general well-being by reducing coffee usage and experimenting with these alternatives.

Let’s take you through natural alternatives to coffee to give you energy and keep you revitalized.

Chicory

Chicory root is among the most well-liked substitutes for coffee. It is a plant with roots above ground level: it is usually dried up for medicinal use. It frequently tastes like coffee but doesn’t give you the rush, so many people prefer it. Other minerals include vitamin B6, vitamin C, manganese, and potassium. Inulin, a prebiotic fibre, is another ingredient present that results in a healthy gut.

Guayusa

Guayusa extract originates from the guayusa tree and is another possible replacement for coffee. It is a South American native and a typical component of many energy beverages. The caffeine amount is just like coffee. According to reports, the amounts are much greater than those in black tea.

Different Teas

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You may swap tea for coffee if you’re seeking a caffeine replacement. You have many different teas to select from.

Try matcha, a green tea, as it tastes better than moringa. It controls blood sugar rises when combined with a starchy diet.

Kombucha is another option that contains probiotics to regulate your microbiota. It enhances digestive health and helps lessen the likelihood of bloating. Because it contains L-theanine, black tea, a herbal beverage, is another well-liked caffeine substitute. The research found that interacting with these two substances helps maintain mental clarity, precision, and attentiveness without causing nervousness.

Popular and soothing black tea drinks like chai tea and chai lattes have been around for a while. You can brew it with milk, hot water, and spices like fennel, cinnamon, etc.

Banana

A sweet treat could be what you’re looking for. One other healthy substitute for coffee is to try eating a banana. Your body may lack sugar in the morning, making you feel weak and exhausted. When you need an energy boost, consider eating a banana full of nutritious carbs. It consists of potassium and vitamin B6, which help you have more endurance. Even compared to a drink with carbohydrates, it could be a superior choice.

Spinach

Popeye enjoys his spinach for a good reason. This leafy green is incredibly nutrient-rich. Iron, essential for producing haemoglobin, is a great source of it. Haemoglobin facilitates red blood cells’ ability to carry oxygen, a crucial step that increases alertness.

Water

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A glass of water is the greatest and healthiest choice to keep energized during the day. Unsurprisingly, almost all health professionals and reliable medical advice stress the need for hydration with filtered or lemon water. The energy level, mood, focus, and general performance can all be negatively impacted by even minor dehydration. The fact that caffeine causes dehydration despite being ingested in liquid form further emphasizes one of its drawbacks. Your physical and mental well-being will benefit from drinking adequate water. It is a crucial practice since it enhances several aspects of health.

Blueberries

Your body may be urging you to quickly locate energy if you have a sweet appetite in the middle of the day. Replace sweets with a naturally sweet, nutrient-rich meal like berries and say goodbye to candy. Go for blueberries; they’re a rich source of fibre, giving you a sustained energy boost while extending your feeling of fullness. Consuming blueberries have been linked to increased endothelium health, which improves blood flow via the blood vessels. Stock up since blueberries are delicious in salads and smoothies too.

Rhodiola

Rhodiola is commonly used to improve endurance and energy and assist memory and concentration. Rhodiola may help boost physical performance and lessen mental tiredness, as per National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health research. It is often taken as a supplement and is the most widely used form.

Vitamin B

A vitamin B deficiency can bring on mood issues, exhaustion, and poor focus. Nuts, lean meats, seeds, and strengthened grains are some foods high in B vitamins that you should include in your diet. Supplements containing B vitamins are also offered. The nicotinamide riboside (NR) type of vitamin B3 can transform NR into NAD+, a reason for better functioning. This coenzyme is present in every living cell and is essential for increasing energy metabolism and preserving healthy cell function. Therefore, keeping your body’s normal NAD+ levels preserve the cellular processes that produce energy.

Pepper Mint

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With several ways to increase energy, peppermint is an excellent substitute for coffee. Due to its anti-inflammatory characteristics, it is good at reducing pain, particularly from migraines and stomach cramps. Additionally, peppermint oil may help with better breathing by relieving sinus discomfort and reducing daytime tiredness. The danger of an upset stomach is decreased due to its digestive health benefits. Additionally, peppermint’s capacity to calm the body may help with better sleep quality. Tea or diffuser aromatherapy with peppermint are both enjoyable. Adding peppermint to your daily routine naturally increases your energy levels.

Get Medical Care

We truly believe in the notion of mental well-being. There are instances where you completely feel drained out due to your daily schedule. The above alternatives are good to follow to replace caffeine and protect your body systems. However, in case of any doubts on the alternatives or want to explore some supplements to replace. Feel free to visit the emergency doctor Jackson to manage your health. Their excellent staff makes sure to make you feel comfortable with their diagnostics and therapeutic services.

This piece first appeared in our weekly newsletter, The Fallout. Sign up for it here.

So often this job includes sharing really difficult news and explaining some of the cruelest methods of attacking our communities and our reproductive autonomy. Not this week! This week, I’m thrilled to shine a spotlight on the first ever Trans Youth Prom that took place in Washington, D.C. on Monday. Rewire News Group was on the ground documenting the day-long celebration of trans lives and futures. And let me tell you: The joy was infectious.

Dreamt up and organized by trans youth from more than 16 states, the goal of the event was deceptively simple and effective: Center trans youth and their joy as a critical way to push back against the harmful narratives about trans folks by conservatives. Trans Youth Prom was an opportunity—with our nation’s Capitol as the backdrop—to let trans kids just be kids. They laughed, danced, and were righteously, joyously themselves in public. “This is about trans joy, trans creativity, trans brilliance, and trans futures,” said Chase Strangio, a civil rights lawyer and transgender activist who spoke at Monday’s prom, in a press release.

The joy and celebration Strangio described Monday was palpable. If you have a chance, please check out our Instagram and see for yourself. It was simply a spectacular day. And one that was so needed given the fact that, this year alone, conservative lawmakers have introduced at least 549 anti-LGBTQ bills, a legislative record. Included in this watershed of hate legislation is another dubious record—over 220 bills targeting trans and non-binary folks this year alone, according to the Human Rights Campaign. Within those anti-trans bills, more than 125 bills would prevent trans youth from being able to access age-appropriate, medically-necessary, best-practice health care. Conservative lawmakers advanced more than 45 bills banning transgender students from playing school sports and more than 30 “bathroom bills” that require students to use bathrooms that align with their assigned sex at birth, not their gender identity.

It’s been nothing short of a tidal wave of targeted legislative harassment. And it comes with a great price for those who find themselves the target of this latest conservative hate campaign.

“Trans Prom came from the anger and exhaustion trans kids like me felt after continuously fighting against anti-trans legislation and after continuously debating our personhood and our identity to people who don’t seem to care,” said Daniel Trujillo, Trans Youth Prom Steering Committee Member and organizer. “Trans Prom is evidence of what trans joy is. It is living proof of what trans people can achieve when supported and loved. Not only by parents, but by friends and even strangers.”

If you’re a frequent listener to the Boom! Lawyered podcast, then by now you’ve heard us talk about how important it is to center joy in political organizing especially given the fascist threat we face today. The simple truth is fascists hate joy and they definitely hate the joyful and exuberant expression of self the Trans Youth Prom represents. That’s because it is such a rejection of everything the current conservative movement embraces and endorses. So, as May winds down and we begin Pride Month in June, I can’t think of a better way to center joy than by celebrating trans lives and potential and by just letting these kids be kids.

Are you dating a man you suspect isn’t all that committed to you? Have you ever wondered, “Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?” He may even tell you upfront that he doesn’t want to be committed to you, but still spends time with you romantically. He may tell you, and sometimes shows you, that he genuinely likes you. His actions leave you utterly perplexed as to how he is feeling. 

He probably makes you feel like a yo-yo, constantly pushing you away and pulling you back in. Because of the non-stop mixed messages this guy sends, you may feel as if you’re going insane at times. “Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?” you wonder, yet again. Let’s have a look at the inner workings of his mind.

Why Does He Keep Me Around If He Doesn’t Want A Relationship – 17 Probable Reasons

You’ve done almost everything “serious” couples do. You’ve traveled together, met each other’s friends, and possibly met each other’s families too. Despite this, you remain in the limbo between relationship and courtship. Although there are numerous reasons that a man may act interested and then suddenly backs off, they typically fall into two categories: a) It could be about him, b) It could be something you’re doing. Learning to tell the difference between the two will save you a lot of heartbreak in the future, not just with this guy, but with all the other people you’ll date.

1. He’s only interested in a sexual relationship with you

It’s a ridiculously shallow and awful reason, but here we are. Being intimate early in a relationship is not wrong, but it can blur the lines between a casual and a serious relationship. According to a study, if you’re a woman, it is true that you are more likely to interpret physical pleasure as a sign that he has strong feelings for you. In his mind, however, he could just be having fun, filling his boots.

Why would he leave that kind of fun behind to be single and forced to spend his nights alone? He is sexually attracted to you but doesn’t want a relationship, so if you want to get some answers from him, you should first remove sex from the equation. When he realizes you are serious about the no-sex rule, he’ll be able to suddenly discover his honesty. He’ll have to decide whether it is just the sex that inspires him to keep you hanging or if he has genuine feelings for you.

2. He does not want to be lonely 

It’s human nature to want to be loved and to be in the company of those who care about you. It’s possible that a guy doesn’t know what he wants from you, but he doesn’t want to be alone – so he keeps you close for those long, lonely days. But remember, his surface-level feelings for you are not going to change. If you both are dating, you’re probably spending a lot of time together. If that were to end, he’d be left alone with his thoughts. While some people thrive independently and venture out on their own, others will never be that type.

He’s the type of guy who always wants company, whether it’s just to go to the movies or out to dinner, or even for a weekend away. He might just be hanging out with you and leading you on so that he always has someone to make him feel better about being single. You don’t want to be his shadow because that’s the closest thing to a relationship he’ll give you. 

Related Reading: Dating An Overthinker: 15 Tips To Make It Successful

3. He’ll be bored if you’re not there

Similarly, though in a much shallower form, he might just be trying to avoid boredom. When you’re dating someone, you tend to go out a lot and even spend nights at each other’s places. There’s a reason when people start dating someone new, they tend to lose their friendships.

If he wants to go to a new bar or see a new movie, but none of his friends are available, he’s probably used to expecting you to be there and spend time with you. If he lets you go, he will have no one to hang out with, which, as pathetic as it sounds, maybe his reason for keeping you around despite his lack of romantic intentions.

4. He doesn’t want you to be with anyone else

Men can be possessive. They want what they think is rightfully theirs, so he doesn’t want you but doesn’t want anyone else to have you either. You, as a person, do not belong to him. He has no claim on your heart if he isn’t serious about starting a relationship with you. 

Still, the thought of you with someone else can horrify him. Show him that you have other options besides him, and tell him that if he doesn’t want to commit, someone else will. If he genuinely doesn’t want a relationship, he will most likely become jealous – but without changing his mind. Or worse, he will fake being in a relationship with you just to keep you away from other guys. Here’s more about a guy like this:

• He appreciates your attention and devotion to him, so he wants you to stick by him
• Your attraction to him boosts his ego
• He refuses to admit that he isn’t looking for a committed relationship and continues to make empty promises about your future together
• He doesn’t want you to move on from him

5. He is scared of dealing with the drama

Even if you’ve only been dating briefly, breakups can be complicated and dramatic. If you don’t feel the same way as your partner, they will be hurt. There’s a chance he doesn’t want to be mature and tell you the truth, because he doesn’t want to deal with the consequences. 

Depending on where you met, there may be additional consequences to ending your relationship that he has been attempting to avoid. For instance, if you work or take classes together, he may be afraid that being around each other will be awkward and uncomfortable if he breaks up with you. Find ways to let him know you’re okay if he doesn’t see this romance progressing and that you won’t cause him any trouble if you cross paths again.

6. He doesn’t want to cause you pain

Perhaps we should give him the benefit of doubt and consider that he is a nice guy who doesn’t want to see you hurt when he ends a growing relationship. Ending a serious relationship is difficult for the receiver, without a doubt, but it’s also tricky for the dumper because they have to deal with being the bad guy. We hope no one enjoys telling someone they don’t feel as strongly for them as the other had hoped.

He may delay the inevitable because he doesn’t want to subject you to the agony of learning that he isn’t interested, especially if you’ve been completely honest with him about your feelings. While he is still cowardly in not telling the truth, his intentions are good as he cares about you.

• It’s better to do it quickly, like ripping off a band-aid, for both of you
• Make sure he knows you’re strong and can handle anything he has to say
• Rather than permitting him to linger in a lie to keep you both in naive bliss, tell him about the benefits of being honest

7. He doesn’t want to lose you as a friend

Trying to navigate a romantic relationship that grew out of close friends can be difficult, but it is entirely doable. Many lifelong soulmates began as just a friend, but a friendship can also shatter by the failed attempts to make it a romantic interest. If your relationship arose from a great friendship, he might be keeping you around despite his lack of desire for a relationship because he doesn’t want to lose you as a friend. He might also keep you around if he has a girlfriend.

We’ve all experienced how difficult it can be to move on after a breakup. The fact that one person will be caught off guard and hurt while the other will emerge confident, could be tricky to navigate. Returning to a simple friendship after ending a romantic relationship is easier if you were in the early dating stages. Otherwise, it’s harder. But your friendship can be rebuilt over time and eventually get back on track.

Related Reading: 20 Proven Ways To Make Him Feel Guilty For Hurting You

8. He doesn’t want to stop controlling your life 

The reasoning can be quite toxic at times if he is overprotective. He may want to keep you around so he’s always in the loop. One of the most stressful things about a breakup is suddenly being removed from your ex’s life, where you were emotionally involved, with zero way of knowing what they’re up to anymore. 

Because social media stalking only gets you so far, some people choose to keep you hanging despite having no real feelings. If this is the case, he does not respect you as the strong human you are, and you should cut the cord yourself.

• He is too afraid to lose you because then he won’t be able to control your life
• He does not want you to take your decisions on your own
• He does not like the choices that you make in your life
• He’s always been a little controlling and gets upset when you act with “freedom”

10. He keeps you around as he needs you to pay for things

It’s a horrible thought but more common than you might think. If your man is in a shambles, unemployed, and lost in life, he may lead you on and refuse to let you go because you are his financial support. According to a study, balance is essential in a healthy relationship. If you’re both earning, you don’t have to wait for the man to pay – but it would be nice if he did his part without you bringing it to his notice. 

• If it appears that he is sponging off you, it’s most likely because he is
• Does he offer to pay only to realize he’s forgotten his wallet, leaving you to cover the cost of your dates?
• Do you ever find him paying the bill instead of you? 
• Maybe he’s always hanging out at your place during lunchtime or inviting himself to dinner? It could be because you have food and he can’t afford it, or it is too expensive to buy his own
• He may even approach you and ask you to find him some money to help him get by
• If he lets you spend on him and your dates consistently, he might be hanging on to your dysfunctional romance, so he can save money

10. He wishes to maintain his options

Some guys are just not ready to settle down, but they are aware that they have genuine feelings for you. If you’ve found an eligible bachelor who’s used to living it up and meeting a new potential date every night, it’s unsurprising that he’s avoiding taking your relationship to the next level.

As per a study, men were more likely than women to indicate that they were single in order to be free to flirt around, and because they were not into family-making. When you are casually dating, you’re seeing other people and being as flirtatious and carefree as you want. Living like that is natural for some, and it is the only way your guy knows how to be. 

• He enjoys the attention and ego boost that comes with having the attention of multiple people at the same time, and committing to you would mean giving up that lifestyle
• He is more interested in casual dating and not a committed relationship
• He keeps you on the line so he has you as one of his options

11. He enjoys the advantages of the ‘relationship’

I know you’ve had this thought because it’s always my first assumption when I find myself in a similar situation. He may keep you around because he reaps all the benefits of being in a relationship without having to expend any relationship energy. It’s a simple way to meet his needs without doing something he doesn’t want to do: commit. 

He doesn’t see this as a problem. If you have feelings for him and want the relationship to progress to a more committed stage, state your needs. If he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want more than that, you’ll need to accept it rather than try to persuade him that you’d be an excellent partner. You can end things with him if he cannot meet your relationship’s physical and emotional needs. 

Some of the needs he fulfills through this ‘relationship’ could be:

• He enjoys the sex with you and does not want to give it up
• He is not committed to you, but he gets a lot of emotional benefits from you. You’re basically his therapist without pay
• He keeps coming to you because he is sure that he will be welcomed. If he needs his ego to be validated constantly, tell him to adopt a dog
• He loves to brag about you to his friends and tell them all about his “girlfriend” – you’re a status symbol for him

12. He needs a backup option while on the field

Some people simply do not want to commit to one relationship. They prefer to keep their options open by playing the field. He might have added you to his backup list in case other potential partners don’t work out. He’s not technically doing anything wrong if he’s been honest and the relationship between you two is non-committal. But if he knows you want a relationship and you know he doesn’t, you’re both blind to the disaster you’re causing for yourselves.

Or this could be a case of a situationship. Some types of situationships may develop into full-fledged relationships, but many don’t end well. You can’t force him to want a relationship, and you don’t have to accept being a backup option. While you cannot control him, you can choose how to handle the situation. Will you stay knowing you’re getting less than you deserve? Or are you going to leave despite having feelings?

13. He is insecure and requires an ego boost

Even the most attractive and successful people can be insecure if you look for the signs. He keeps you around because it feeds his ego. You make him feel wanted, cared for, and appreciated. You may even overlook his flaws because you adore him, which he appreciates. It’s natural for him to want to feel good, but is it making you feel bad about your relationship and yourself?

These are the things a guy could be insecure about:

• He is comfortable showing you his flaws and fears, but not to any other person as he fears being mocked for them
• He is comfortable doing something messy in front of you, but he is insecure about showing it to someone else
• He doesn’t think he’s lovable and thinks no other person could love him the way you do, so he keeps you in his life

Related Reading: 9 Things That Happen When A Man Is Vulnerable With A Woman

14. He is using your relationship to heal from his recent breakup

This is a difficult pill to swallow. Is he still talking about his ex? Is he still emotional when he talks about this person? Even if he acts like he despises her, this is just a sign that he isn’t over her. That doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to rekindle the flame. In some cases, he simply needs to heal so that he is not sad or angry about the relationship or how it ended. But that also counts as not having moved on from his ex.

On the other hand, you may have noticed the tone in his voice when he says he would gladly run back to her if given the chance. Perhaps she was “the one” for him and he can’t seem to get over it. Do you want to be second fiddle to the person he loves? He may keep you around because he likes you and believes that one day he’ll be ready to commit to you, but for the time being, he’s still focused on the ex. Are you prepared to wait in the hopes that his feelings will change?

15. He does not believe you are “it” for him

This one stings. He might genuinely enjoy being with you. He might think you’d make an excellent relationship partner. He simply does not believe you are meant for ‘him’, though. This does not imply that something is wrong with you. Something about the relationship just does not appear to be a good fit.

If you want to get to the bottom of it, know that lack of compatibility is not always a feeling that can be defined. You can tell when something is right for you, just like you can tell when something is slightly off for you. It’s never fun to be the person they don’t want, for reasons you don’t understand, but we’ve all been there. Try to remember that it’s not about you, you both are just incompatible. After all, isn’t it true that the heart wants what the heart wants?

16. It’s simply too early

It’s possible that it’s too early in the relationship for him to change his mind. According to research, it takes about six months for people to know if the person they’re with is marriage material. Even if you have no plans to marry, this information suggests that it may take him a few months to determine whether the relationship is serious.

If you’ve only been dating for a month or two, you should temper your expectations. The person you’re dating may not want to be Facebook-official until they’re certain the relationship will last. After all, no one wants to have to change their relationship status from single to ‘in a relationship’ more than once.

17. He keeps you around because you’re not going anywhere

One of the reasons he keeps you around is that he simply can. After all, you continue to make yourself available to him. You always go and see him even when you say you’re busy. He knows he can count on you to be there for him even though he doesn’t show up for you at all. He does it because he can — according to a study, it’s human nature to accept what is freely given.

What actions are you taking in this regard? Waiting for him to change his mind is a passive action, but it is still a decision you make. Can you really be mad at him for keeping you around when you’re doing everything in your power to be there for him?

You must never waste time on someone to make up their mind about you; you deserve to be treated well. If he doesn’t seem to be putting in much effort with you and if he’s not being honest about his intentions, he’s probably not that interested and is just trying to keep you around for one or two of the reasons listed above. If you’re ready for the next, more formal stage of emotional connection, tell him that you want more. Allow him to choose, and don’t feel guilty about saying goodbye if he isn’t giving you what you need in this relationship.

FAQs

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Working in a cluttered and disorganized workspace can significantly hinder productivity. When important documents are mixed with pens and paper clips, finding what you need when you need, it can be challenging. One way to stay organized is by investing in industrial storage systems.

Industrial storage systems are designed with functionality in mind. They are made of sturdy materials that can withstand the wear and tear of daily use. These systems can increase productivity by reducing clutter, providing easy access to necessary items, and promoting an efficient workflow.

One important feature of industrial storage systems is the ability to customize them for individual needs. For instance, consider purchasing shelving units that fit standard file folders or hanging holders to organize documents. Rolling storage carts are ideal for spaces where mobility is necessary or desired.

Furthermore, heavy-duty containers – like bins and tubs with lids – work well when storing bulky or oddly-shaped items such as power tools, loose materials, or hardware supplies. Having designated areas customized explicitly for each material or piece of equipment makes retrieval more accessible and efficient than scouring through miscellaneous boxes or bags.

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Another significant benefit of using industrial storage systems is improved safety standards and practices in your workplace environment. Industrial shelving units come equipped with safety features such as locking mechanisms – ensuring vital documents can remain secure while being appropriately stored – while open-room wire shelving units prevent dust accumulation from taking hold on surfaces.

Beyond mere organization profitability benefits: industrial assembly lines deal with costly products used within demanding sectors, including medicine, aerospace engineering & robotics startups, among many others. Utilizing off-site facilities would rack transportation bills between factories requiring product transport which could break down businesses focusing on local spheres; locally based storage system providers thus offer flexible rental plans tailored according to businesses’ unique specifications without overcharging small-scale startups too much overhead cost burdening business progress.

Investing time into assessing these factors ensures implementing effective measures for safe future expansions results in long-term growth and stability for business visionaries. Upgrading your workspace using industrial storage systems is a practical way to support workspace safety while promoting the efficient use of the workplace living space.

Unique from similar layouts – like generic organizational products – industrial quality guarantees maintenance risks are significantly reduced. This means that investing in these types of storage systems increases efficiency and pays dividends in the long run by reducing costs otherwise wasted on upkeep, repairs, or replacements.

In conclusion, there is no better way to organize your workspace than by opting for industrial storage systems. It will help you stay organized and productive and promote efficient workflows in your office environment. With customizable options available for each unique need – from rolling carts to heavy-duty containers with lids or wire-mesh shelving units – all materials can be efficiently sorted out with full immediate access at minimal effort/cost expenditure required!

Before purchasing any such system(s), though, safety concerns should always be a priority when buying an industrial storage system. After all, employee well-being and organization productivity shouldn’t come at the cost of injury risk or other hazardous disturbances in comfortability perceived in meant-to-be stress-free working environments.

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If you’re looking for an effective way to store documents, equipment parts & supplies needed for specific assembly jobs- including transportation and delivery boxes– then look no further than dedicated providers designed initially to suit those business needs. So invest today into robust, efficient solutions rather than compromise tomorrow’s potential success!

Living with a chronic illness is challenging. Not only do you have to deal with the physical hardships of your condition, but you likely have to deal with associated financial struggles. Treatment for ailments isn’t cheap, and even if you have insurance that covers some of the costs, you’ll still have to cover co-payments, deductibles, and alternative care. 

You may find yourself earning less than you’re spending, and the longer this continues, the more debt you’ll accumulate and the more challenging time you’ll have digging out of that debt. 

Read on for some tips to build financial security despite your hardships. Then, we’ll talk about money-saving strategies, life insurance for the chronically ill, and things you can do to improve your quality of life.

Save Money Despite Chronic Illness

If you don’t have a budget, it’s time to make one. A budget can help you identify your priorities and excess spending you can cut.

Also Read: How To Better Recover From An Illness: 5 Tips To Know

Track Your Spending

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You can work out a budget that serves you no matter your income. You might want to start by tracking your spending. Sometimes, the simple act of tracking your purchases can keep you from buying things you don’t need.

After reviewing your spending for a month, you might be surprised at how insignificant purchases through the month add up. Even if you think you know how you’re spending, you should track every penny so you’re sure. Then, you can use that information to set your budget.

Lower Your Utilities

If you work outside the home, consider turning back your thermostat by 10 degrees during the hours that you’re gone. That simple step could save you 10% on your heating bill. Likewise, doing the opposite during the summer could help you save on your cooling costs. 

If you have a leaky faucet or a toilet that runs in between flushes, fixing those problems can save you a lot on your water bills.

As your lightbulbs burn out, replace them with LED bulbs. They’re more expensive to start with, but they’ll save you considerably over time. Just be careful to choose warm light LED bulbs to reduce your exposure to blue light’s negative effects.

Save Money Driving

Did you know that properly inflated tires help improve your fuel mileage? Check your tire pressure every month and whenever there’s a drastic temperature change to ensure they’re filled according to manufacturer specifications. Also, keep an eye on your average number of miles driven per year.

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Cars have a sweet spot speed on the highway, and that speed is usually around 55 or 60 mph. So you might be able to get five to seven more miles per gallon if you switch from 70 to 60 mph.

Stay on top of scheduled maintenance. If funds are tight, you might be tempted to skip an oil change, but if you do, you could end up with far more expensive engine damage later on.

Life Insurance With Chronic Illnesses

In most cases, your life insurance needs are the same whether you have a chronic illness or not. If you have a lot of debt, such as a mortgage, and you have responsibilities such as children, you should have a term life insurance plan.

Term Life Insurance With Chronic Illness

Term life insurance pays a death benefit if you die during the policy’s term, which can be anywhere from 10 to 30 years or longer. Once the term expires, you have no benefit from the policy. So, most people pay monthly premiums and get absolutely nothing in return. 

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Also Read: How Does Negativity Affect the Body: Causes & Types

You might be tempted to avoid such a bad bet. Still, for those rare cases where your beneficiaries get the benefit, it can make the difference between them losing everything because of your debts and death or continuing in their same lifestyle.

With some illnesses, you may not be able to get a term life insurance plan. Even if you can find an insurer to offer you a term policy, you’re probably not going to qualify for preferred plus pricing. 

The type of chronic illness you have will be the most critical factor in determining your insurability. For example, if you have had a stroke, heart attack, or heart disease, it will be nearly impossible to find an affordable term life insurance policy.

However, if you have well-managed diabetes, arthritis, or asthma, you will likely be able to choose from a variety of term life insurance plans. 

Guaranteed Issue Life Insurance With Chronic Illness

If your illness makes you uninsurable, you can still get a guaranteed issue life insurance plan. It’s more expensive and offers a smaller benefit than a standard term policy, but it may be your only option. The benefit can help take care of funeral expenses.

Guaranteed issue policies don’t require a health evaluation, so that’s why you can get a policy no matter what health conditions you have.

Quality of Life With Chronic Illness

Don’t let your illness define you. Take care of your illness, but don’t forget who you are at your core. You have a personality and things you enjoy, and you must nurture that part of you to improve the quality of your life. 

Self-Care Importance

A lot of your time is consumed with treating your illness, and that’s essential, but you need to set aside time for self-care unrelated to your condition. For example, you may need a massage, pedicure, nap, or bath to help you feel refreshed and cared for. Or you could spend a weekend afternoon reading fiction or watching a movie. 

Exercise Benefits

You should always consult with your medical professional before starting an exercise regimen, but there are appropriate programs for everyone, regardless of your physical restrictions. 

Exercising will help boost your mood and improve your health. So it’s worth the time you put into it. If you can get outside to exercise, you’ll also reap the benefits of connecting with nature, absorbing the sunlight, and breathing fresh air. Enjoying nature can transform your life. 

Relationships Support

Your relationships are a significant part of your support system, so invest your time into building your marriage, family bonds, and friendships.

Living within a budget will help you manage your debt, and a life insurance policy will protect your beneficiaries from assuming your debt if you die. But one of the best ways to improve your health and keep yourself living as long as possible is taking care of yourself. Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive, and it will improve your quality of life.

With Memorial Day right around the corner, the dating apps and sites will be super busy. Why? Scientific studies have found that people are happier and more active in the summer months. Maybe we give Vitamin D a round of applause?

So, here’s my recommendations to make your summer dating skyrocket:

1. Lose the beard
I feel like I’m walking on thin ice with this one. It’s hot out—let your face breathe. Plus, guys, it’s one of the top things women say to me as a dating coach: Please, no men with facial hair. Why? Sometimes it just looks sloppy and maybe we want to kiss you!

2. Take a self-defense class
Ok, guys, if you’re mad at me for #1, here you go. Everyone should know self-defense and guess what? The classes are full of women (kind of like yoga!).

3. Update your photo and bio
Get rid of that primary photo that’s been sitting on Bumble or Match forever. And that profile you’ve had for months/years? Adios! My client Melissa and I were looking at a potential great date for her yesterday on Hinge and the man said he couldn’t wait for quarantine to end. Ok, where has he been? Does he ever check this site he’s paying for?

4. Meet quickly or stop messaging
During a coaching call yesterday with a client, there was a string of messages dating back to March, talking about basically the weather. OMG. Remember that Stanford study I talk about? It says from the time of your first message to your first date, no more than 5 days should have passed. Or, statistically there is zero chance of the in-person date ever occurring.

5. Refresh your wardrobe
That doesn’t mean break the bank. A little retail therapy goes far and will boost your self-confidence. And while you are at it, have a friend snap a photo of you in that cute new sundress—and post it!

6. BONUS TIP: Have a strategy.

You have a strategy when you play golf. Tennis. Work. So, you’ve been on Bumble for 2 years. Ok, time to say goodbye and try a new site. And, you need to work the site. Nope, not full-time. How about a simple goal of 20 minutes 3-4 times each week—and no just looking. Set a goal. I must message 5 men/women. (Yes, ladies, men love when you reach out first). Hopping online and looking gets you….nothing. Write a message that is less than 4 sentences, unique, quirky and fun!

When they respond (and you like the response), invite them for a Friday drink or Saturday coffee. Be specific. No “let’s get together sometime”. It’s not too forward; we are all online to meet a great person so go for it!

Need help? You can always schedule that free 15-minute call with me. It’s what I do and what I love.

Happy dating,

Love,

Andrea and Luna (oh, if I hadn’t met my boyfriend online I bet I’d meet him walking Luna by the beach—!!!)

Founder, It’s Just Lunch (sold) and https://www.33000dates.com

Dating Counselor/Dating Coach

Are you trying to move on from a nasty breakup or a damaging on-again-off-again dynamic? The no-contact rule can be your savior! However, the no-contact rule male psychology can be hard to crack. Does the no-contact rule work on men? Will no contact make him move on or miss you more? What goes on in a man’s mind during no contact?

If these questions have been on your mind since you hit the block button, we’re here to help you. With the help of psychotherapist Dr. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., MBA, PGDTA), who specializes in relationship counseling and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, we take a deep dive into how men respond to no contact and all you need to know about it.

The Male Mind During No Contact

The no-contact rule is a post-breakup period where you cut off all contact with your ex, in hopes of trying to move on or even to get them back into your life. If you’re wondering “What goes through a guy’s mind during no contact?”, you might be tempted to contact him to figure out what he’s thinking.  

But since that would literally defeat the purpose of the no-contact rule, we’re here to help you out. Speaking on the subject, Dr. Bhonsle says, “While experiencing the no-contact rule after the breakup, the man might go through anger, humiliation, and fear, sometimes all at once. Depending on the time of day, the man could feel any of these individual emotions or all of them together.”

So, if you could get inside the male mind, you’d see that he is agonizing just as much as you are. Want to know more? Let’s dive deeper into the no contact psychology.  

No-Contact Rule Male Psychology – 7 Things To Know

“Is he thinking about me during no contact? That question gave me sleepless nights after I dumped my ex-boyfriend, Caleb. It looked like he couldn’t care less about us not talking,” Jollene told us. “It had been about one week, and I’d often see him laughing around campus. His attitude made me feel like I never mattered much to him. But I tried to focus on my own improvement.

“One day, Caleb’s best friend texted me to give him another chance. That’s when I realized that the male psychology in relationships works a lot differently than I thought. He tried his best to not seem vulnerable, but apparently, he was crushed. That day, Caleb texted me at 2 am asking how he hurt me. That was when I knew he was just running away from his emotions. Of course, I didn’t respond,” she adds.

Do questions like “how does a guy feel when you block him” weigh on your mind? To put your mind at ease about the psychology of a man during no contact, here are 7 components for you. Keep in mind, that while every guy reacts differently after a breakup, these are emotions they most likely will go through at some stage during the process. 

1. The humiliation of being cut out 

Dr. Bhonsle sheds light on the topic, “What essentially happens is a state of humiliation ensues. He feels like he’s been cast aside, like a bad habit, as if there’s something about him that’s repugnant and repulsive to her. Regardless of what he may or may not have done, no one likes to be treated poorly. Hence, the humiliation of being cut off can hit hard,” he says. 

No contact after breakup psychology often revolves around his pride. When it is challenged, he may just put on a hard exterior and appear as though he is on board with your decision and is okay with it. This is one of the vital men vs woman breakup differences that governs the way he feels after the breakup as well as how he deals with those feelings.

2. The bargaining stage

On the male psychology after break up, a Reddit user wrote, “I begged and made an ass of myself, so I would say you have more chance of getting the ex back by ignoring her than by begging. She hated me at the end.” So, one of the stages of no contact for a man is the bargaining stage, wherein:

• In a desperate attempt to make amends, a man may say whatever you want to hear at the moment
• Since he is unable to deal with the sudden scarcity of communication, he may resort to desperate tactics
• You may see a 180-degree shift in his attitude and a readiness to do whatever it takes to win you over again

If you want to see if the no-contact rule is working, the degree of his bargaining stage will be a good indicator. Dr. Bhonsle says, “Immediately after humiliation, some bargaining may ensue in an attempt to crawl back into her life. He may even try to beg his way back into her life by upselling to her and saying things like “I’ll be a changed man”, “I’ll do better” or “I will change for you”. This, in turn, leads to more humiliation, since ‘change’ isn’t that easy to come by.” 

3. The no-contact rule male psychology entails anger and establishing stereotypes 

The male mind during no contact is fraught with pain and hurt, which often manifest in the form of anger and negativity. Just like everyone else, men start generalizing and putting women into a certain category in their minds after a rough breakup. They’ll start to display worrisome signs of trust issues by saying things like “no woman is trustworthy”.

Related Reading: How to Move On Without Closure? 8 Ways To Help You Heal

The degree of anger depends on each individual, but the feeling of anger is something almost every man will experience. Dr. Bhonsle says, “Being at the receiving end of the no-contact rule can also lead to anger and resentment. In the long run, anger can lead to building stereotypes, which will lead to biases. If in the future a new relationship becomes possible, the man may enter into it with biases based on the fact that he was rejected.” 

It leads to a vicious cycle of humiliation and rejection,” says Dr. Bhonsle about the dangers of the stereotypical mentality men can resort to. “He might be putting himself into a loop. The next woman might say, ‘He’s a bitter, angry and frustrated individual’, which, in turn, leads to more rejection or even experiencing no contact again. Since dealing with rejection isn’t easy, It then becomes a vicious cycle of suffering,” he explains.

4. A feeling that he has to “prove” his love 

The psychology of a man during no contact can also often be shaped by what he has seen around him growing up. On the big screen, the chronicles of depressed, alcoholic, and heartbroken men have been romanticized since forever. So, some men believe that that’s something they must go through to prove their love.  

As a result, when you don’t contact him, he looks for ways to woo you again after a breakup. Dr. Bhonsle says, “A lot of movies show men putting themselves through turmoil because of a woman. So, a lot of men may start believing that going through turmoil is a part of the process of being a man as if it’s a way to prove how authentic their love is.”

Explaining how this flawed philosophy almost never works, he adds, “It’s actually quite pathetic to grovel and not move on because you believe that’s what you need to go through. Just because it’s in the movies doesn’t legitimize it, it just popularizes a damaging notion. Your chances of recovery are hurt by that kind of destructive and self-pity-filled behavior.”

5. The fear of loneliness and losing love 

Does no contact work to get him back? A Reddit user wrote, “After the breakup, I was OVER THE TOP with texting “are we still friends? Do you want to work on our issues? Are we seeing other people now? What is our status? Answer me pleeeeeeease!” This is precisely the loneliness stage, wherein:

• No contact rule for guys serves as a reality check on what their life might look like without you
• The realization sets in that the no-contact rule isn’t a gimmick employed by you for a couple of days
• A sudden panic along the lines of “Why am I still single? I’m going to die alone” may take hold

At this stage, the male mind during no contact is gripped by the fear of the unknown and a desire to gravitate toward the familiar. “Once the fear kicks in, it can lead to some pretty bad decision making in terms of self-respect. By giving a person what they want only to withdraw its availability, a scarcity mindset will kick in and they’ll start acting in desperation,” says Dr. Bhonsle.

6. Experiencing depression

Understandably, the male mind after no contact goes through a mourning period. A Reddit user wrote, “We all torture ourselves with this obsession over the ex, when our goal should be working on ourselves, grieving the relationship and healing.” As he said, this stage of no contact for a man is all about grieving the relationship, which means grappling with self-pity/sadness/depression.

Arguing that the use of the no-contact rule can be disrespectful/hurtful, Dr. Bhonsle says, “You can distance yourself from someone without being disrespectful. The ideal way to do it is to not ghost the person and disappear in the wind. You could say, “I’m no longer interested in continuing our association and I want to move on.” The more direct you are, the easier it is for the man to also lick his wounds and move on. However long that takes,” he adds. 

Related Reading: The Right Way To Use Power Of Silence After A Breakup

7. Moving on and turning the tables 

How does the no-contact rule affect a man? In his stubbornness, he might just end up using the no-contact rule himself. This final stage might be due to multiple reasons:

• Perhaps he has moved on and does not wish to communicate with you further
• Or he has come to the conclusion that you’re not a good fit for him

Dr. Bhonsle says, “We disassociate with someone because we deem them to be a threat to our way of life. Perhaps, he realized that she was bad-mouthing him, manipulating him, gaslighting in the relationship, or just being nasty.” In the psychology of no contact on a male dumper, you might often see him using this tactic. Once he’s made his mind up, the no contact from your end will be retaliated by no contact from his end as well. A game of cat and mouse, so to speak.”

If you’ve been using male psychology to get an ex-boyfriend back, this is the stage where you should give up. The distance, the pain, and angst caused by the no-contact period has made him see that he’s better off without this relationship.

That’s especially the case when he has already crossed the bargaining and the “fear of dying alone” stages. Now, he may either work on self-improvement or let the grief dictate his behavior. Which option he pursues depends on his personality and perseverance. Once he begins to heal, he starts to pick up the pieces, rebuild his life, and move forward.

How Does The No-Contact Rule Work On Men?

Now that we’ve broken down the no-contact rule male psychology for you, you know exactly how his mental health might fluctuate, and all the ways in which he may avoid or tackle his issues. But, what next? How should you cope with the breakup? Should you move on or give it another shot? Let’s get you some answers so you can get your beauty sleep again.

Scenario 1: He wants you back

The 30 day no-contact rule male psychology works in surprising ways. It can lead to you both realizing each other’s value. Taking some space might actually lead to an emotional connection. After all, there are types of breakups that get back together.

If you’re wondering what percentage of breakups get back together and sustain that relationship, here’s some data for you. Studies point out that 15% of people actually won their ex back, while 14% got back together just to break up again, and 70% never reconnected at all with their exes.

So, there’s a possibility that he might want to come back to the good relationship. In such cases, what’s the first thing that you should do? Be honest with yourself and ask yourself these important questions:

• What were the major problems that caused the breakup?
• What are the solutions and strategies to fix those problems?
• Can me and my ex work together with patience?
• Do I have a list of unfixable dealbreakers?
• Do we differ fundamentally in our core values?

After you have thoroughly thought about the above questions, follow these steps:

• Discuss with your ex what you both have learned from the initial split
• Keep your closed ones in the loop instead of keeping it a secret
• Imagine yourself as a third party (would you advise your bestie to get back?)
• Go through a trial run to test the success of the reconciliation with your ex
• Take things VERY slow. Imagine your relationship to be snail
• Don’t bring up issues of the past; consider this romance as a clean slate

Scenario 2: He wants to move on

My friend Sarah told me, “I broke the no contact and he replied. But, his response caught me off guard. He told me to lose his number. I couldn’t believe that he told me not to contact him again.” Hence, there’s a possibility that he might not want to move on. In such cases, you might end up questioning if you were good enough.

Counselor Ridhi Golechha previously told Bonobology, “One of the most common self-sabotaging behaviors is holding yourself responsible for everything. To deal with the breakup, practice self-forgiveness and self-compassion. The more you forgive yourself, the more you are at peace. You need to look at the two sides of the coin, where you acknowledge your mistake along with the need for you to move on.

“There is nothing wrong with you if you are struggling to get over someone. Without hating yourself, allow your thoughts to come and go like clouds. Break out from the pattern of self-judgment. Know who you are. Celebrate yourself for the person you are.” Here are some more handy tips on how to let go of a long-term relationship:

• One way to heal is to come out of the denial stage and see things as they are
• Write down facts about how this relationship has altered your equation with yourself
• Avoid drowning yourself in drugs/alcohol/cigarettes to ease your current situation
• Meditation and exercise can help you to get your life together after a breakup
• Opt for healthier coping mechanisms like performing better in your work/developing new hobbies
• Seek professional support and lean on trustworthy people for support
• Learn the lesson that your self-respect has to be stronger than your feelings
• The healing process will happen naturally, in its own sweet time; don’t force anything

Finally, the no-contact rule male psychology can be a complex assembly of emotions that even the man will have a hard time understanding. The lack of closure is what really gets to most since it’s troubling to not know the reasons behind the sudden discontinuation of contact. Now that you have a better idea of how men respond to no contact, hopefully, you have put to rest any questions that were on your mind.

FAQs

10 Signs To Know Your Relationship Is Over

10 Reasons He Suddenly Stopped Chasing You – Even When You Wanted Him To

The Best Way To Get Over Rejection Is To Face It

Sex Tips

 

Every year, I take a group of students to Amsterdam for a course on sex and culture. As part of this class, we visit the Sex Museum, which attracts hundreds of thousands of visitors annually. It provides an opportunity to explore how sexuality has evolved and changed throughout the ages. Each time I go, I’m always struck by how little sex has changed. For example, BDSM and fetishes, threesomes and orgies, oral and anal sex—heck, even tentacle porn—have captured the erotic imagination for centuries. We have dildos that date back to the Stone Age and condoms that date back to the 1600s. We even have guidebooks like the Kama Sutra that date back thousands of years and detail hundreds of different sexual positions. For as long as humans have been having sex, they’ve been highly creative—and often pretty kinky. That said, while there are a lot of common threads when looking at human sexual practices over time, there are obviously a lot of differences as well. So, let’s look at some of the major ways sexual behavior has evolved over the last century or so. We’ll focus on the last 100 years here because this marks an era of revolutionary change in our sex lives, owing to various technological and medical advances, along with loosening cultural constraints.

 

 

Sex is Safer Than Ever in Many Ways

One of the most significant changes that have occurred in our sex lives recently is the growing development and accessibility of highly effective safer-sex tools. This started in the 1940s with the widespread use of penicillin to treat syphilis and the introduction of hormonal birth control in the 1950s. We often hear about the pill as the driver of the subsequent “sexual revolution” in the 1960s and 70s, but the advent of effective antibiotic treatments for bacterial STIs was a noted contributor to this as well. Today, we have even more tools than ever to prevent unintended pregnancy and STIs. There are dozens of contraceptives currently available, with hormonal variants (including pills, implants, and shots) offering more than 99% protection with perfect use. On the STI front, bacterial STIs can still be effectively treated with antibiotics (although, admittedly, there is growing concern about antibiotic resistance); we have vaccines to prevent HPV and hepatitis and PrEP to provide high levels of protection against HIV. While there is regional and cross-cultural variability in the availability of these tools (owing to things like local laws and insurance coverage), we have more tools available than ever to protect our sexual health, which has had the net effect of making many people more comfortable and confident in exploring their sexuality.

 

 

Porn Has Never Been More Accessible

Porn has changed with the advent of each new technology, from the printing press to the development of photography to the invention of film. In the last century, the format of pornography has shifted from being more photo-based to more film-based. Seeing a pornographic film actually used to be a rarity—and in the early days, it was often a social experience. For example, in the first half of the 1900s, if you saw a porn video, it was probably at a clandestine screening of a “stag film” in a room full of men. These were films made by men, for men, and shown in secret gatherings. Following this, the “porn chic” era of the 1970s brought people to cinemas to watch pornographic films with a plot (think Deep Throat). However, it wasn’t until VCRs became widely available and affordable that porn started to retreat into a more private and solitary experience that occurred at home. And then computers, the internet, and smartphones came along, forever changing how we access porn. As a result, it’s easier to find porn than ever before, and there’s now an endless supply of it. In the span of less than 100 years, pornographic videos went from being a rare and shared social experience for men to a situation where anyone can now have access to the world’s largest collection of porn in the palm of their hand that they can view on demand.

 

 

Sexual Attitudes are the Most Liberal on Record

One of the major changes in sexual behavior we’ve seen over the last century is that a growing proportion of the sex people are having is occurring outside the context of committed romantic relationships. Data show a rise in the number of people having casual sex, hookups, and friends with benefits compared to decades past. There is one caveat to this, which is that the youngest generation today (Gen Z) seems to be having less casual sex—and less sex in general. But that’s a story for another article. That said, a big part of the reason why casual sex grew is because sexual attitudes, in general, have become more liberal. For example, within the last 20 years alone, the percentage of American adults who think that sex outside of marriage is morally acceptable has climbed from 53% to 76%. And that’s just one of many changes in sexual attitudes. For instance, public opinion polls in the United States indicate that record majority numbers now think that same-sex relationships, divorce, having kids outside of marriage, and birth control are morally acceptable. These shifts in public opinion have paved the way for people to be more open about their sexual identities and to pursue the types of sexual and romantic relationships that are right for them.

 

 

Technology is Giving Us New Ways to Explore Our Sexuality

Finally, one other key way sex has changed in the last 100 years has to do with various technologies that have been introduced. For example, prior to the internet and the advent of dating apps, most people met their sexual and romantic partners in person. They were people you met out in public, or friends or family introduced them. Nowadays, the single most common way people are meeting their partners is online—and this seems to be changing the types of relationships we’re developing. For instance, as online dating has increased in popularity, more people have entered into interracial relationships and long-distance relationships. Online dating simply creates a more diverse dating pool. Technology is also changing how we experience sexual pleasure. Sex toys have gone high-tech, offering new sensations. This includes toys that can be controlled remotely, toys that provide customizable vibration (and even temperature), as well as toys that synch to virtual reality porn and let you feel what you see. Long gone are the days of basic dildos and one-speed vibrators. We now have toys for every hole—and every goal.

Takeaways

In some ways, sex hasn’t changed all that much over the years. Our fantasies and desires, our sexual positions, and even our kinks are things that have a very long and rich history. Novelty and creativity have been the hallmarks of human sexuality for centuries. At the same time, however, human sexual expression has changed considerably, perhaps no more so than during the last 100 years. From the 20^th century into the 21^st, there has been remarkable change in societal attitudes toward sex, as well as technological and medical innovations of great import to our sexual health and pleasure. When it comes to sex, we are always innovating, and attitudes are constantly changing. We can’t say for sure what the future will hold, but we know that sexual expression will continue to evolve.

 

References:

Francis, A. M. (2013). The wages of sin: how the discovery of penicillin reshaped modern sexuality. Archives of sexual behavior, 42, 5-13.

Lehmiller, J. J. (2017). The psychology of human sexuality (2^nd edition). John Wiley & Sons.

Lieberman, H. (2017). Buzz: A stimulating history of the sex toy. Pegasus

Monto, M. A., & Carey, A. G. (2014). A new standard of sexual behavior? Are claims associated with the “hookup culture” supported by General Social Survey data? The Journal of Sex Research, 51, 605-615.

When you think of the word ‘mature’, do you think of slightly weathered skin, strands of white hair, and muted clothes? Or do you picture a person with a gentle demeanor behaving responsibly, irrespective of their age? Either way, you are not wrong. Our analysis of what a mature woman wants in a relationship depends on both of these perceptions.

What mature women want in a relationship is not very different from what any mature person would want from their romantic partner. Since their outlook toward life is alike, and the importance they give to core values hits a match, both men and women who are mature, more or less, find similar things attractive in a potential partner and a relationship.

First, let us first take a look at the signs of a mature woman. Who is she? How can you tell if a woman is mature? How does a mature woman behave in a relationship? Once you’re able to tell the difference between the ones who are actually emotionally honest and mature and the ones who just “seem” to be so, the next step is to figure out what they want from relationships.

Who Is Considered A Mature Woman?

It is not uncommon for us to hear sentences like, “She is quite mature for her age”, or, “He is over 50, but so immature!” Maturity, technically, refers to being physically fully developed. This is why we use it for a plant, a fruit, a cat, as much as for people. But we have come to understand maturity not just in regards to physical growth but also in mental and emotional growth.

It is usually understood that a mature woman is independent and confident about what she wants from a relationship. She understands the nuances of a great relationship. She knows the difference between compromising on her values and being accommodating to others. She is equipped with the emotional maturity to be adept at conflict resolution strategies. She is forthcoming when it comes to sharing her dreams, time, space, and future plans but she is not dependent on someone else to fulfill them for her. She knows that finding balance between independence and a healthy relationship is what she needs to do.

This was made clear from two different studies that focused on dating for older women vs dating for younger women. A study, Dating for Older Women: Experiences and Meanings of Dating in Later Life, published in the Journal of Women and Aging, found that older women’s attitudes toward dating were directed more toward their own needs. Women mentioned honestly that fun and companionship with independence for oneself were the strongest factors when considering what they wanted.

In contrast, a different study published as What Do Women Want? A Qualitative Study of Dating that interviewed women in their 20s pointed at starkly different motivations for dating. For the younger women, the reasons were more focused on the other person than their own needs. In addition, it is noticeable in this study that only 8 out of 45 women in their 20s listed maturity as a preferable trait in their partner. Not everyone’s looking for maturity, it seems.

What Are The Characteristics Of A Mature Woman?

So, who should be considered a mature woman? And does age play a role here? Age does help us define maturity as seen in these two studies. Our expectations of what kind of emotional quotient a physically mature or a person older in age should have dictate our idea of a person mature in their attitude. All in all, the signs of maturity in a woman usually include the following points:

• A mature woman knows her strengths and utilizes them for personal growth. They know their weaknesses and actively work on them
• They do not intentionally intend to hurt another person and are usually emotionally honest about their intentions and needs
• They’re self-aware and know they’re responsible for their actions
• They recognize what it means to cultivate a relationship with a person and accompany it with empathy, respect, and honesty
• A mature person is well-mannered and poised
• They are goal-driven, and have a fair idea of what it’s going to take for them to get what they want
• They respect differences, focus on self-improvement, aren’t afraid of commitment, and are usually good listeners
• They approach life with a positive mindset and accept the things they are not in control of

In a nutshell: imagine someone who you can never associate the words “childish behavior” with, who you know will never play any mind games, who know how to put in the work, and don’t jeopardize their relationships or prospects based on impulses. With that out of the way, let’s take a look at what a mature woman wants in a relationship.

23 Things Mature Women Want In Relationships

There couldn’t be a better way to put what mature women want in a relationship than as stated in the aforementioned study. “These women know the type of person with whom they enjoy spending time, and they know how they want to be treated. This is different from when they were adolescents and young adults in part because they feel that they know themselves better now. (…) Finding a man who is interesting with whom they can go out and have fun and from whom they can be treated with kindness and respect are the goals voiced in these interviews.”

If you are wondering if it is difficult finding or impressing a mature woman, or even, romancing a mature woman, we think it depends on your own level of maturity. Understanding what mature women want in a relationship is not rocket science, and once you’ve started dating women who are a bit more mature than others, you’ll realize what it is you must do differently. Let us pick simple and recognizable things that mature women want in a relationship:

1. A relationship free of drama – Signs of a mature woman

Are you looking for signs you are dating a mature woman? The more easy and fun your relationship feels, the more mature your partner is. A mature woman wants to stay away from unnecessary drama. She asks that healthy relationship boundaries be laid out, she promises to respect them and expects them to be followed.

One study found that companionship and fun were the primary motivations older women had for dating. Most women were not interested in marriage or remarriage, wanting to have independence over their life. One participant in the study, Peggy, says almost nonchalantly, “I’ve dated a lot of nice guys. It’s fun. It’s nice to have somebody to go out with.”

Peggy’s attitude puts it in perspective. What a mature woman wants in a relationship, mature in age or attitude, is an easy fun drama free companionship, even if it’s not necessarily a serious relationship. To the guy’s mind, all of this sounds absolutely perfect, doesn’t it? When pondering over how to impress a mature woman, keep the following things in mind:

• They’re not the kind who play emotional games, they greatly appreciate honesty
• Even if misunderstandings arise, they do their best to resolve them without impulsively reacting
• They make sure to let the other partner know exactly what they’re looking for to avoid miscommunication
• They’re good at addressing concerns and do not opt to “sweep it under the rug

2. A mature woman wants sincere effective communication

Since she’s good at communicating her feelings in uncomplicated words, a drama-free relationship is a real possibility. She understands that a relationship cannot thrive without communication, since she has probably experienced breakups and knows what the usual suspects are. It is not only essential to be on the same page with her partner regarding countless things in a relationship, but it is also directly responsible for resolving issues and conflicts.

She likes a man who knows how to recognize his emotions and can communicate them effectively, instead of one who reacts immediately to stimuli. She also wants a partner who can nurture them in a safe space to allow each of them to express their emotions freely. If she finds herself lacking, she’s quick to prioritize it and work on improving communication in the relationship.

3. She wants a partner she can talk to

“There were concerns of being bored (…) or being forced to talk about things in which they had no interest, especially when it came to love relationships at the right time. They were not willing to do those things just for the sake of having a date,” the Dating For Older Women study says.

While the last point was about the ability to communicate complaints, desires, and address conflicts, this one is about the ability to share conversations with someone, especially loved ones. Mature women look for interesting conversations in relationships, irrespective of the topic or the age group. They want to be able to connect with their partners on a deeper level and share their innermost thoughts and feelings.

These conversations may include discussing future goals, offering encouragement, or reminiscing about their childhood. It helps if both partners share similar interests or hobbies, but this doesn’t mean that differences always hinder conversation. If you’re in love with a mature woman who you have nothing in common with, just try being a good listener and ask her about the things she’s interested in. Just avoid the foolish conversations about the very-niche and very-new TikTok trend.

Related Reading: 35 Bonding Questions For Couples To Strengthen A Relationship

4. A mature woman wants someone she can trust

What a mature woman wants in a relationship is a trustworthy partner. She would like to be able to depend on him, just like she can on good friends. Are you thinking of sharing household duties and bigger responsibilities? Yes! That too. But also, someone who can simply keep a secret. She wants a reliable person, someone who has her back.

Someone who is trying their luck at impressing a mature woman should know that she wants an emotionally mature person by her side. He should understand the various components of trust in a relationship. Someone, who knows that irrespective of the temporary status of their relationship – a fight, a disagreement – all that aside, they are a team. When it comes to what a mature woman wants in a relationship, keep the following in mind:

• She doesn’t mind games, manipulation, or someone who is not self-assured (which eventually leads to insecurity and trust issues)
• Jealousy, trust issues, and anger issues can not be completely avoided, but a mature girl needs someone who is actively on top of such issues
• She won’t settle for the big promises or just butterflies in her stomach, she needs to be able to see through a person’s actions that they’re trustworthy
• She appreciates a partner who knows how to establish trust in a relationship and knows how to maintain it

5. She craves honesty – Mature woman characteristic

Whether you’re married to a mature woman or can’t stop dreaming about her, what she would want is complete honesty from you. To her, it is not a far-fetched expectation (as it shouldn’t be). We are not limiting our reference to emotional cheating, physical or financial infidelity, and the like. Even white lies in relationships can be a turn-off for a mature woman.

That her partner cannot tell her the truth is disrespectful to her, especially since she doesn’t like the presumption that she could not handle the truth, as though she’s a little girl. If the woman you are with hates it when you lie to try to spare her feelings, you can take it as one of the signs you are dating a mature woman.

Related Reading: 13 Signs You Are Dating An Immature Person And What Should You Do

6. She wants a non-judgmental relationship

Honest, clear communication, which is so foundational for a mature relationship, is possible when partners exhibit deep trust in each other. This trust cannot be built if partners cannot freely express their deepest thoughts. A commitment to building a safe space for communication is what a mature woman wants in a relationship.

She approaches tough conversations with the same attitude toward the other person that she approaches regular conversations with, and she’d appreciate the same in return. Unless a non-judgmental space is established, you’re not really going to be able to impress a mature woman. How can you, if she’s always worried about what you think of her?

7. A mature woman likes a kind and humble man

A humble man is extremely attractive to a mature woman in a relationship. After all, humility shows that a man is not a self-centered Mr. Know-It-All. It shows that he can accept his mistakes and improve, instead of being forever lost in his own ego (the kind of men that popular dating sites seem to be overcrowded with). He is willing to listen to the opinion of others. He can put others’ interests before his own.

Humility and selflessness naturally make a man kind. Did you know, the Ideal Partner Survey, a collaboration between Clue, the University of Göttingen, and MyONE Condoms, interviewed 64,000 women and found that 90% of them rated kindness as the most desirable quality in a man. 3,800 women interviewed in the survey were ages 40 and above. With a 90% weightage, it can suffice that what mature women want in a relationship are kindness and humility. Here’s exactly what a mature woman wants in a relationship, especially from her partner:

• A mature person prioritises honesty, kindness, empathy, respect, and manners. A loving partner who offers true companionship instead of someone who plays emotional games
• Even if it’s not a serious relationship, they always appreciate honesty and someone who’s capable of delivering
• She appreciates a partner who has a goal, knows the direction their life is taking them in, and is humble

8. She wants to nurture a multidimensional idea of physical intimacy

If you are romancing a mature woman, you would have noticed that she is not wound up on a uni-dimensional idea of intimacy, which is limited to sexual intercourse. Her focus is on increasing physical intimacy which can be shared in many more ways than just under the sheets.

Holding hands, engaging in physical ways of recreation with her partner, giving a massage, a surprise kiss, rubbing the back, sitting closely, looking in the eye when talking, and putting the phone away when listening are various ways through which mature people ensure that they remain physically intimate with their partner. This is what mature women want in a relationship.

That, of course, is a two-way street. Such women are primarily interested in people who they know will treat them the same way, have a pure heart and don’t play games with someone’s feelings. It’s not that difficult, really.

9. She wants to nurture other forms of intimacy

When we think of intimacy, we mostly think of its physical aspect. But there are other dimensions to feeling intimate with a significant other. Emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and experiential are some of the other domains of feeling intimate with your partner. A mature woman is aware of this and expects to explore these with equal dedication.

She wants to travel together, share experiences, have meaningful conversations, engage in common hobbies, and learn something new with her partner to connect with them at a deeper level. Each of these serves to foster various types of intimacy. When you see a woman engaging with you on such a level, it’s safe to say that you’re witnessing the signs of maturity in a woman.

• A mature person may value spiritual, emotional, and intellectual intimacy more than the obvious physical form of intimacy
• To a mature person, feeling love doesn’t necessarily include the trivial niceties people associate with a person’s love life. Instead, you might see her trying to connect on a deeper level
• A mature woman’s mantra, when it comes to love, usually involves not wasting any time and building a connection. Try to show her that you’re willing to find a connection with her as well

10. Mature woman in a relationship wants space to grow

Space for personal growth is what a mature woman wants in a relationship. Along with that, she certainly wouldn’t mind a little extra helping of motivation to be better. A partner and a relationship that encourages you to nurture your passion, hone your skills, work on your issues, and be better is a dream for many. 86.5% of the women interviewed by the Ideal Partner Survey, picked supportiveness among the most desirable qualities in a potential partner.

A mature woman cannot compromise on this requirement. She is conscious of a toxic living environment and will neither tolerate insincere flattery nor spiteful criticism. She wants to be in an honest relationship with someone who doesn’t shy from appreciating her strengths and gently underlining her shortcomings so that she can work on herself. She wants a self-assured partner, who’s capable of offering emotional support when need be.

11. She wants to learn something new

This willingness to improve comes from easily recognizable mature woman characteristics – self-confidence and a sense of security. Only a person who is comfortable in their skin and is proud and confident looks to improve themselves and learn new things.

Not only is an older woman passively open to learning new things, but she is also willing to add to her arsenal of skill-set and qualities. A partner who can provide her with something aspirational is an extremely appealing prospect to her. A philosophy worth imbibing, a quality worth emulating, a fun quirk worth borrowing – this is what mature women want in a relationship.

Related Reading: 9 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem In A Woman You Are Dating

12. She wants someone who can take responsibility for their actions

Have you ever snapped at your partner for a tiny issue, only to realize later that the issue was created due to an oversight from your end? Like locking yourself out, losing your wallet or keys, or forgetting an appointment. Did you have the courage to apologize when you found out that the keys were in your bag, the appointment noted in your diary?

Being able to take responsibility for yourself is a foundational quality one should never compromise on in a mature relationship. No wonder an older woman looks for a man who accepts his mistakes, takes responsibility for his actions, commits to improvement, and follows up on the promises he makes.

13. She wants to be able to respect her partner

Love is a dynamic emotion forever changing. It is a conscious act. The act of love. On the other hand, respect is an underlying constant that is the basis of a relationship filled with love. A mature woman is not ignorant of these subtle differences. She knows that love becomes possible when a person respects their partner for who they are.

What an older woman wants in a relationship is a partner who is worth her respect. A mature woman knows that she may respect him for his intelligence, his capacity for love and empathy, the way he carries himself, his life journey, his charitable nature, his love for animals, his future goals, or any other value or quality. These are just a few examples and not an exhaustive list. Really, what a mature woman wants in a relationship is to be able to look up to the person she is with.

• Respect is the cornerstone of any good relationship, and a high-quality person acknowledges that fact
• A mature person values respect in a relationship as much as love
• She wants to be able to look up to the person she’s with and admire them
• To be a respectable person, a person needs to conduct themselves with integrity and treat others around them with respect

14. She wants to feel respected by her partner

Newsflash: a woman prefers feeling respected in her relationship. Who would’ve thought, right? Jokes aside, feeling respected for the qualities a person possesses is a critical emotional need. A woman when respected by her partner is treated as an equal. Her judgment and wisdom are valued. Her opinions are sought. Her time and effort are appreciated.

Why wouldn’t a woman want all that in her relationship? An older woman recognizes this. That is why she looks to be valued, appreciated, and respected by her partner. In fact, there’s a strong chance that she bid adieu to some past relationships because of a lack of respect. In fact, It’s not just a thing a woman needs in a relationship, it’s something we all need.

Related Reading: 21 Elements Of Developing Respect In A Relationship

15. A mature woman is not desperate for a relationship

The Dating For Older Women study says, “‘I am not that desperate’ was a chorus repeated time and again.” In the study, a participant, Sally, says, “I thought if a good one came along, then I would be open to it, but not just anything with anybody.”

An older woman doesn’t want to be in a codependent relationship. She wants her personal space and is ready to give her partner his. For this, it is essential that her partner likes his own company and doesn’t entirely rely on her to pass his time.

Some amount of willingness to share time and experiences is not only tolerable but desirable. What she does not like is a relationship in which partners feel the urge to spend every waking moment with each other and anything else makes them feel insecure.

• If you think a mature person is just looking to ‘settle down”, think again. In fact, their independent nature allows them to not rush into relationships
• What a mature woman wants in a relationship is a steady timeline that feels appropriately paced, instead of making rash decisions

16. She wants someone who has a life of their own

A woman protective of her own time and personal space would naturally love it if her partner also had a life of their own. This would take the pressure off her to be her partner’s only source of companionship. After all, it is unreasonable to expect one person to fulfill all relationship roles.

An older woman understands this and loves it when her partner can have a social life of his own, while she utilizes that time the way she wants to. Even if it’s a serious relationship she’s going for, the ability to maintain a positive relationship while practicing a healthy amount of personal space is a pre-requisite. Plus, such practices also bring novelty to a relationship as the two partners come together with fresh stories and experiences to share with each other. So, keep all the incessant text messages, sending notes, and unending calls far away from the relationship. You don’t want her to be able to say that she’s had to sacrifice good friends for this relationship.

17. She wants someone who understands what is important

To be able to have an objective view of the larger picture is a respectable quality mature people possess. And a mature person appreciates it so much. She wants in her man the ability to separate the essential from the non-essential. The important from the trivial. Far-sightedness from egocentric short-term vision.

What mature women want from a relationship is this clarity. She wants a partner who prioritizes the health and future of the relationship over personal wins in arguments. This quality helps her trust him to make important decisions on their behalf when needed.

• A mature person knows that having personal space and prioritizing yourself in a relationship is always important, and she wants someone who understands and agrees with these basic points
• Once she knows she is with someone who is able to distinguish the important from the trivial, she will respect the partner a whole lot more
• To be able to show her that you understand what’s important in the long run, you must have clear goals, a similar vision of the future, and must not play any mindless games to try and emotionally manipulate the partner

18. She wants a man who is professionally and financially secure

An older woman would not like to waste her time with someone who would be envious of her professional or financial status. An insecure man would compare his success to his partner’s, unable to see how the two of them can work in partnership. This shortsightedness would be a sign he is not trustworthy and is detrimental to the prosperity that the two of them can enjoy together.

Only a man who is mature and possesses financial confidence would allow his partner to flourish and grow. Companionship with a man who is proud of himself and the achievements and success of the woman he is with, no matter how much more or less she earns, is what a mature woman wants in a relationship.

• According to NCBI, financial problems are among the top reasons for divorce. A mature person realizes the importance of financial confidence and the ability to have productive conversations about money
• A man who is financially insecure and constantly compares his career with hers is usually a red flag for the independent, mature person
• Apart from financial confidence, other traits a mature person looks for include a career-driven individual, someone who knows what their goals are and has prospects lined up

19. A mature woman appreciates a man who is secure in bed

Men with conservative ideas around women, desire, and libido are a big turn-off. A mature person wants a partner in bed, not a master (unless that is part of a sexual fetish). If a woman is assertive, active, and vocal about her desires, you should treat these as signs you are dating a mature woman.

A great sexual partnership stems from confidence in oneself, unshakeable trust in the partner, and honest communication. An older woman wants such a partnership. She wants to have a safe space for communication of desires, devoid of any judgment, and definitely not someone going through a mid-life crisis, trying to overcompensate with weird tactics in bed.

20. She wants a man who understands consent

Consent should ideally be such an easy concept to understand, yet so many people fail to prioritize it in their relationships and intimate connections. If you truly want an answer to “How does a mature woman behave in a relationship”, you cannot overlook the role of consent. A mature person doesn’t force their wishes, desires, or body on the other person. They don’t manipulate or pressurize their partner into doing something the partner was unwilling to do.

An older woman, like any person, wants to feel safe and respected in her relationship. She wants her partner to understand the nuances of enthusiastic consent. Be respectful of consent. Observe, listen, ask, and communicate. Do it actively and continually. That is what a mature woman wants in a relationship.

• The role of consent doesn’t just end after the first time. Consent is to be secured actively and continually and in clear terms
• A mature person appreciates someone who approaches consent in a serious and productive manner
• Even if you’re married to a mature woman, it’s important to practice consent, not just in physical terms but wherever it may be required

Related Reading: What Is Abuse In A Relationship? What Are The Signs Of Abuse?

21. An older woman appreciates flexibility

Signs of a mature woman include flexibility and accommodative nature. Under-confident, insecure people show obstinate tendencies. An older woman would keep herself miles away from a narcissistic boyfriend, a person who is egotistically stubborn about getting his way or proving himself right. Such self-serving behavior proves to be detrimental to any partnership.

An older woman realizes this and makes sure she is with someone who can accept when he has erred or is ready to accommodate the suggestions of others when someone else has a better solution than his. She wants her partner to have the ability to compromise and think of the common good whether an issue arises or not.

22. She wants loyalty

An older woman expects her partner to be loyal to her. Infidelity of all kinds would be unacceptable to her. An older woman understands that cheating is not limited to sexual cheating. Emotional cheating or financial infidelity too are signs of a relationship crisis. She wants a man who understands these nuances.

A great partnership requires active effort by both members. A man who displays loyalty, not only toward his partner but also toward the relationship, would be willing to make the effort or do the work to benefit their partnership. A mature woman wants a man who is committed to this value.

• Even if it’s not a serious relationship the mature person is looking for, they’ll often have a clear idea of the ground rules they want to adhere to. If the partner is disrespectful toward the ground rules, it indicates a lack of respect and loyalty
• Once a mature person sees that their partner isn’t loyal, re-building the trust becomes an uphill task, and they may move on to better things
• A mature woman knows the subtle mannerisms that may point toward a disloyal partner, hence, it doesn’t necessarily have to get to the point of emotional or physical cheating before she deems a person disloyal

23. An older woman is looking for a relationship of equals

It is clear by now that what mature women want in a relationship is a partnership of equals, instead of playing games about who has the upper hand. A sincere appreciation and respect for your partner, valuing their judgment, valuing the relationship, being nice to people and things that are important to your partner, and being a person worthy of respect – these are some of the qualities that appeal to her.

A mature woman would like to practice these values. At the same time, she expects her partner to exhibit the same values in his life. She truly wants a modern relationship of equals. Like we said before, she wants a partnership and not a relationship with a slave or a master.

In a nutshell, a mature woman wants to be in a relationship with a mature person. She recognizes unnecessary drama from afar and knows that a good relationship is supposed to feel easy, and not like people drifting apart. She is not afraid of putting in the work to nurture her relationship. She is looking for a partner for the sake of companionship and not to fix a broken part of herself. She is not shy about self-love and wants to grow in the relationship everyday.

An older woman’s characteristics are not limited to these. But we are sure you now catch the drift. If you are trying your luck at impressing an older woman, or are already lucky enough to romance a mature woman, try to learn more about what makes a mature relationship and how can one be more mature in relationships.

This article has been updated in May, 2023. 

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