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Jacob
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Category: Humor
Humor | ReportWire publishes the latest breaking U.S. and world news, trending topics and developing stories from around globe.
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First U.S. Malaria Cases Diagnosed In Decades In Florida, Texas
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The CDC has confirmed that five cases of malaria have been discovered in Florida and Texas, the first time the potentially fatal mosquito-borne disease has been locally acquired in the United States in 20 years. What do you think?
“Really takes the enjoyment out of being bitten by a mosquito.”
Quinn Moller, Shoelace Inspector
“We can just put the malaria on a bus and ship it to Massachusetts.”
Chase Dickinson, Sand Trap Raker
“Thankfully, there’s already a vaccine for me to refuse.”
Pablo Mendez, Seatbelt Engineer
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Reddit – Dive into anything
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This time of year, at a certain point, at the right time of day, my car’s shadow turns into Shrek
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/u/flannelman37
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Chris Britt for Jun 29, 2023 – Chris Britt, Humor Times
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Chris Britt’s political cartoons are sometimes controversial, often outrageous and always thought-provoking. His take-no-prisoners style has been entertaining readers since 1991.
A self-described liberal, Britt nevertheless delights in skewering deserving politicians of every persuasion. His numerous awards include first place for editorial cartooning from the Washington Press Association in 1995, the National Press Foundation’s Berryman Award as editorial cartoonist of the year in 1994, and the Sigma Delta Chi Award for editorial cartooning from the Society of Professional Journalists in 2009.
When he’s not cartooning, Britt volunteers as a mentor for high-school students and at a stay-in-school program. Before joining The State Journal-Register, he was a cartoonist at The Seattle Times, the Sacramento Union, the Houston Post and The News Tribune of Tacoma, Wash.
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Chris Britt
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Andy Marlette for Jun 29, 2023 – Andy Marlette, Humor Times
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Born and raised by underpaid public school teachers in Sanford, Fla., Andy Marlette graduated from the University of Florida and became staff editorial cartoonist at the Pensacola News Journal in 2007.Marlette received a priceless editorial cartoon education while living with his uncle and Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Doug Marlette in Hillsborough, N.C. Doug’s tragic death in July of 2007 made evermore poignant the elder Marlette’s fierce and faithful devotion to the art form of editorial cartooning as a cornerstone of American free speech. With this in mind, Andy works daily to learn and uphold the disciplines and values passed on to him by his late uncle.
Andy’s editorial cartoons have become both hated and adored by daily readers. His work has been awarded by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors for best editorial cartoons on state issues and former Governor Charlie Crist referred to himself regularly as Marlette’s biggest fan, despite the fact that he was also regularly a target in cartoons.?
Marlette has also illustrated two published children’s books co-authored by Orlando Sentinel sports columnist Mike Bianchi, as well as a recently published children’s book about a carrot-eating dog titled “Harry Loves Carrots.”
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Andy Marlette
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Everything You Need To Know About Fox News Host Jesse Watters
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Television host Jesse Watters is set to take over Tucker Carlson’s 8 p.m. time slot after Carlson’s highly publicized departure. Here’s everything you need to know about the longtime Fox News anchor.
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Join Us Again
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Submitter “Anonymouse Lee” inherited a Pascal program that started its development back in 2002. It’s seen some rough handling over the years, and that alone has bred some WTFs, but this particular block was created by the founder of the company, who bills themself as a “highly technical founder”.
The goal is this: the program needs to display a data grid, and depending on the
recordTypeof each row in the grid, that row needs to be displayed slightly differently.Let’s take a look at the code:
var x,y : int; recordtypes : variant; begin recordtypes := sql('select key_value, code from recordType'); for x := 0 to grid.RecordCount - 1 do begin for y := 0 to hi(recordtypes,2) do begin if grid[x].key_value = recordtypes[0,y] then case recordtypes[1,y] of 'a': begin *do stuff for type ‘a’ here* break; end; 'b': begin *do stuff for type ‘b’ here* break; end; 'c': begin *do stuff for type ‘c’ here* break; end; end; end; end; end;gridis a global variable containing the data grid to display. Here, we run a query to look up all the possible record types, then for each row in thegrid, we iterate across eachrecordtypesentry, and compare thekey_valuefields. Then, if the key value matches, we do a case based on thecodefield.It’s a join. We’ve reimplemented a join on the client side. But honestly, we’ve made the join even worse. It’s an awkward nested for loop with a case statement, even though for any given successful match on
key_value, there’s only one possible case branch that could be true.There’s a deeper WTF though, that highlights a common anti-pattern that I’ve seen in many places: we’re tying code logic to values in database fields. The
codefields can’t change in the database. Adding a new row to therecordTypestable won’t handle the special case of rendering that new row- you need to roll out code changes to support data changes. That’s a hard problem to be able to route around, and the obvious solutions to it frequently lead you down the path of the inner platform. But at it’s core, it’s not a code or even a software architecture problem: it’s an analysis problem and a design problem. The problem domain has been expressed in terms that require this kind of brittle code, and this kind of brittle code is so common that many developers don’t even blink at it. Worse: there’s no easy solution to this problem, and sometimes we just end up implementing the brittle code because actually solving the problem “correctly” is prohibitively difficult.But that’s all “big” stuff, all high level stuff, all “above our pay grade” stuff, and certainly it was above our submitter’s pay grade, and since the code was already baked into this form, it was too late to make any massive changes.
Instead, Anonymouse just altered the query that populated
grid, and ensured thatgridhad acodefield, removing the need for the inner loop.[Advertisement]
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Remy Porter
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What Bat To Use? – People Of Walmart
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The post What Bat To Use? appeared first on People Of Walmart.
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Luke Wherry
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You’re sent to the year 2030 for 10 minutes, what’s the one thing you’re Googling?
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Say what you want about the idea of time travel, but it’s the one theory that we may never tire of hypothesizing about. There are entire television shows, movies, and books based on this idea. Who cares if the rules are never consistent and the logistics make no sense. It’s traveling through time!
Set aside your hardened opinions and guidelines for a second. You’ve been dropped in the year 2030 for 10 minutes. You can only Google ONE thing. Clock starts now…what are you searching?
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Zach Nading
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My Mom And I Made A Questionable Wardrobe Choice
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“My mom and I once did glamour shots.”
(submitted by IG @aprilastrickland)
The post Leather Weather appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
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Team Awkward
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How The Dog Let Us Know What She Was Feeling
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“This is a photo of my then five-month-old daughter. The family dog was jealous ever since she was born, and it shows.”
(submitted by Jessica)
The post The Dog Sitter appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
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Team Awkward
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“I’m a Legitimate Person” – John Thomas, Humor Times
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Traitor Trump says he’s
“a legitimate person”
Who “does things right” & never any wrong
Even Trump himself says FOX is “fake news”
“Bring in some cokes, please.” Or cocaine?
Just like Don, Jr. his daddy Donald is insane
And what’s up with hating
FOX “News” now?
Donald, dude, they made you
to begin with!
Forget about that lame Apprentice garbage
The dumbest TV show to ever run on NBC,
And that’s saying a lot – remember Whitney?Jake Pickering
Arcata, CA, USAP.S. — You can find out more about me and my widely published writings by clicking on the link: https://muckrack.com/jake-pickering-1
John likes to write about all kinds of things. So he does. You’re reading one now – enjoy!
Latest posts by John Thomas (see all)Signed: Jake Pickering
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Jake Pickering
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Sensing a Problem
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Talking to external hardware is often hard. Especially niche hardware devices, which frequently have terrible documentation, bad APIs, and many undocumented quirks that can only be learned by working with them.
For example, Sandra, still with InitAg frequently has to work with hardware. As Sandra puts it: “Most people tend to imagine agriculture as Farmer Bob and his tractor, these day’s it’s as much drones and high-precision GPS as it is tractors and manure.” Which, the technological focus in agriculture is one of the key drivers of right to repair laws, but that’s a whole different class of WTF.
What needs to be repaired in today’s story is one of Sandra’s peers. They were writing code to interface with a hardware sensor on an agricultural device. Sandra omits the specifics, but the key details are that the device might be configured to have a left and right sensor, or it might have just one- either through configuration, debugging, or failure. Also, the vendor API wouldn’t return the sensors in any particular order. The software needs to handle those scenarios, and then simply report a signal on the UI reflecting the sensor status.
Now, one place to manage this would be to create some compartmentalized code, buried deep at a low level of the system, which handles and abstracts out all the hardware interfaces. Since it involves I/O, you’ll also need to make sure that it doesn’t block anywhere in the main loop while you’re doing that. Wiring it up to the core software properly will likely involve some sort of message-oriented or event-based approach, probably wired into the message bus your complicated, multi-sensor hardware platform is already using, and is a super-standard approach for industrial hardware and robotics systems.
The other place to manage it would be to just dump the code right in the middle of the main processing loop of your incredibly complex system, with fully synchronous I/O.
sensors = data_streamer.sensor_data_streamer.sensors left_sensor_works = False right_sensor_works = False for sensor in sensors: if sensor.is_right_sensor(): right_sensor_works = sensor.check_sensor_connection() else: left_sensor_works = sensor.check_sensor_connection()The key problem here is that this code blocks three times, and creates some procedure-level variables for the application’s main loop. And remember: this code is controlling a piece of large scale agricultural equipment that has very strict timing constraints for how all of its modules link together and talk to each other.
The good news was that this got caught in code review, but it was still surprisingly difficult to take out, as the responsible developer, several other devs, and some of management didn’t see the problem. After much explaining, they finally were made to understand that “stopping the machine from doing anything else for large fractions of a second while we talk to hardware is bad. Also, random essentially global variables that drive UI features in the middle of the main loop- not a great look.
This code didn’t ship- but the company has shipped code that doesn’t look that dissimilar in the past. Learning can happen.
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Remy Porter
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