ReportWire

Category: Humor

Humor | ReportWire publishes the latest breaking U.S. and world news, trending topics and developing stories from around globe.

  • Amy Schumer Hits Back At Trolls Over Comments On Her Face Looking “Puffier”

    Amy Schumer Hits Back At Trolls Over Comments On Her Face Looking “Puffier”

    Amy Schumer penned a strong message with an “owes no explanation” vibe about self-love after trolls commented on her appearance.

    The writer and comedian is currently promoting the second season of her Hulu series — “Life & Beth” — which is premiering on Feb. 16. While sharing a post about the premiere, Amy also addressed recent remarks about her face that cropped up online.

    “At midnight tonight! Binge both full seasons of @lifeandbethhulu and thank you so much for everyone’s input about my face! I’ve enjoyed feedback and deliberation about my appearance as all women do for almost 20 years,” Amy wrote on Instagram.

    Comments about the comedian’s face surged on the internet after she recently appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and The View.

    Image credits: Netflix

    “I’m going to need all surgeons and doctors to weigh in here. Serious question, what happened to Amy’s face? Is it normally this size?” one Twitter user said as they posted a clip of the interview online.

    Thousands of tactless comments poured in, with many social media users sharing unwarranted remarks about her appearance.

    “Her cells are in the final stages of mitosis and she will soon split into two Amy’s,” read one comment.

    Another said, “Maybe she’s playing a cabbage patch doll in a movie,” while another added, “She’s transitioning into the Pillsbury Doughthey.”

    “Thank you so much for everyone’s input about my face!” the comedian sarcastically wrote on Instagram

    Image credits: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

    When Amy addressed the comments about her face in the same post about the Life & Beth season two premiere, she also took a moment to raise awareness about endometriosis: an often-painful condition in which tissue that is similar to the inner lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus.

    “I have endometriosis, an auto immune disease that every woman should read about. There are some medical and hormonal things going on in my world right now, but I’m okay,” Amy wrote.

    “Historically, women’s bodies have barely been studied medically compared to men. The book ‘all in her head’ does a good job explaining this.”

    Image credits: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

    The actress also opened up about self-love, sharing that she doesn’t have the same level of confidence every day; some days, she’s brimming with it, while on others, she jokes about wanting to hide under a bag. 

    As she shared this vulnerable and relatable side of her, she also expressed immense pride in her show and encouraged everyone to shift their focus from her appearance to her art.

    “I also believe a woman doesn’t need any excuse for her physical appearance and owes no explanation. But I wanted to take the opportunity to advocate for self love and acceptance of the skin you’re in,” Amy wrote.

    “Like every other women/person some days I feel confident and good as hell and others I want to put a bag over my head. But I feel strong and beautiful and so proud of this tv show I created. Wrote. Starred in and directed. Maybe just maybe we can focus on that for a little.”

    “I’ve enjoyed feedback and deliberation about my appearance as all women do for almost 20 years. And you’re right it is puffier than normal right now”

    Image credits: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

    “I had backup dancers on Fallon but my face is the headline hahaha anyway I hope you enjoy Life and Beth. Love and solidarity. Amy,” she concluded.

    The Trainwreck star has opened up about her medical condition in the past and revealed that she removed her uterus and appendix as a result of endometriosis in September 2021.

    Amy shared a photo of herself on the day after her surgery and posed in a hospital gown. In the next slide, she candidly spoke about the condition and the procedure she underwent to raise awareness about endometriosis — a word she said so many people don’t even know.

    Amy added that, despite not needing to provide an explanation for her changed appearance, she attributed her “puffier than normal” face to endometriosis

    Image credits: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

    “It’s the morning after my surgery for endometriosis, and my uterus is out,” she said. “The doctor found 30 spots of endometriosis [that] he removed. He removed my appendix because the endometriosis had attacked it.”

    “There was a lot of blood in my uterus, and I’m sore, and I have some gas pains, but other than that, I already feel that my energy…” she continued before her video was abruptly cut off.

    “If you have really painful periods you may have #endometriosis,” she captioned her post.

    Amy was the target of body-shaming comments online, especially a message posted on X (formerly known as Twitter) that was viewed over 24 million times

    She later posted another video with the caption, “I didn’t realize the video was cut off. Here is the rest! Woman are made to feel like they are just supposed to ‘tough it out’ but that is bullshit. We have a right to live pain free. Have you ever heard of endo?”

    In the video, she explained that she wanted to share her story and raise awareness because “so many people don’t even know the word ‘endometriosis.’”

    The 42-year-old comedian emphasized how she wanted to advocate for “self-love” and “acceptance” and wished people would focus on her show, Life & Beth, instead

    The condition is “painful and debilitating, and you don’t have to live with it,” she added.

    The now-42-year-old mother had also opened up about her endometriosis struggles during an appearance on the docuseries The Checkup with Dr. David Agus.

    “For months I have been complaining about pain. It’s just this pain you can’t see, and there is this inclination to always think a woman is being dramatic,” she shared with Dr. Agus on the show.

    “You tell someone you get really bad cramps, and they’re like, ‘Oh, it’s being a woman,’ and you’re like, ‘No, it’s irregular.’ I’ve been in so much pain, you know, my whole life — not just the week of my period. It’s during ovulation. I would, hopefully, get a good week a month where I wasn’t in pretty significant pain, still trying to achieve, still trying to go through life. It’s been really difficult,” she recalled.

    Watch Amy’s appearance on the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon below

    Amy also promoted the second season of her Hulu comedy show on The View

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCG0dYy-Ot8

    Amy also shared that the surgery she had in 2021 changed her life “right away.”

    “I felt like a new person. It was incredible,” she said. 

    “It just felt like someone lifted this veil that had been over me. I just felt like a different person, like a new mom,” the actress added.

    After Amy shared the recent post addressing comments about her face, many rallied behind the actress and applauded her for being open about endometriosis and her advocacy for self-love.

    People stood up for Amy and praised her for her powerful words

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    [ad_2] Donata Leskauskaite
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  • Mirror mirror

    Mirror mirror

    An abstitution, an assortment, time travel, bad language, and an error'd.

    First up,
    Jeremy Pereira
    pushes the boundaries of this column by sharing something right.
    "Sort of an anti-WTF. It took them 44 minutes to realise they'd made a boo-boo."
    They probably were notified, but it's still pretty good
    time to repair. Especially considering the issues we know
    of that last for years and years.


     

    Snecod,
    Darren S.
    interjects
    "We had this bit of marketing from SmartSheet. The irony
    is that is was all about how to use tags to customise data or views."

    smart

     

    Apeman
    Ford Prefect of Collation
    hooted
    "Perfectly (machine-)translated , except for sorting.
    German is called Deutsch auf Deutsch… Spanish
    might be Espagnol. What may be the local name of Welsh?"
    I know what it is, in Welsh, and it does start with C, but
    I don't think the original language of this list is actually Cymraeg.

    cymraeg

     

    While Wordsmith
    Sebas
    whined
    "Don't see how this is related." It's not.

    bitch

     

    Finally, junge

    Jurgen
    reflects on wording we all took for granted, until just now.
    "When an upload process failed, it told me to check the logs for more details.
    This is what I found: Prove that logs can also be recursive…"

    log

     

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    Lyle Seaman

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  • WTF is going on at Amazon? (15 photos)

    WTF is going on at Amazon? (15 photos)

    The reviews are in: Amazon is insane.

    If you’ve ever stumbled on a batsh*t review in the wild, it’s thrilling. You thought you were just buying pants and now someone’s telling an elaborate story of how those pants saved their life. Wild stuff. I can’t tell if these reviews are sincere but I can tell you they made me laugh. Let’s go down the Amazon hole together, shall we?

    You can actually buy that attractive casket HERE. (LOL)

    Joe

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  • Country Stations Refuse To Play Beyoncé’s Music After Artist Condemns Iraq War

    Country Stations Refuse To Play Beyoncé’s Music After Artist Condemns Iraq War

    HOUSTON—Calling the popular musician traitorous for failing to support President George W. Bush in a time of crisis, thousands of country stations across America reportedly refused to play Beyoncé’s music Thursday after the artist condemned the Iraq War. “If she doesn’t want to support our troops risking their lives out there for the cause of freedom, then we don’t need her,” said country radio executive Hunter Roeloffs, one of many station owners who blacklisted the recent singles “Texas Hold ’Em” and “16 Carriages” after controversial comments in which the star expressed reservations about the U.S.-led Coalition invasion of Iraq—remarks that also led to a reported drop in ticket sales and Beyoncé losing a sponsorship deal with Lipton. “Unlike Miss Knowles, we’re proud Americans here at 100.3 the Bull. We support freedom, whether it’s here or in the Middle East. So when she says innocent lives will be lost, I can’t help but wonder how she could possibly think a bloodthirsty dictator like Saddam Hussein is innocent. And then there’s that line of hers about being ashamed of President Bush? Well, we’re ashamed of her. How about that?” At press time, Beyoncé had attracted additional criticism from the country music scene after rebranding herself as the Chicks.

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  • Joey Swoll Gets Influencer’s Gym Membership Canceled After She Makes Fun Of Gym-Goer

    Joey Swoll Gets Influencer’s Gym Membership Canceled After She Makes Fun Of Gym-Goer

    In a stunning turn of events that got the fitness world buzzing, TikTok star Joey Swoll stepped up as a hero and got a woman’s gym membership canceled for throwing an unnecessary and rude comment at a fellow gym-goer. 

    The drama began when a woman named Allie Singer, known on TikTok as The_rippedbarbie, decided to throw shade at someone for working out at the gym without a shirt on.

    “If you’re not going to wear a shirt, can you at least have some muscles?” Allie said in the video.

    Her attempt to shame the shirtless gym-goer backfired spectacularly as her comments sparked an uproar on social media.

    “He’s sitting there working his abs. She’s standing there working her thumb? I’d take shirtless man any day in my gym,” said one comment.

    Image credits: thejoeyswoll

    “Just let that man get his workout in … ,” added another.

    One person said, “I really hope that guy did not hear her. I don’t care if someone judges me for this. I thought he looked fine shirtless. He is at the gym getting a workout in. Body shaming will never help someone, it only harms.

    As the comments section on Allie’s social media handles heated up, she began firing back and clashed with a number of critics.

    She also called them “keyboard warriors” when she saw that they weren’t okay with her attitude, according to Dexerto.

    “Keyboard warriors, if you don’t like the things I post UNFOLLOW me… Orrr we go to the same gym, you know exactly where to find me,” she fired at her critics.

    “If you’re not going to wear a shirt, can you at least have some muscles?” Allie said in the video

    Image credits: thejoeyswoll

    Following the backlash, Joey stepped in not only to defend the honor of a fellow gym-goer but also to remind people that the gym should ideally be a judgement-free zone. And if someone has a problem with it, they can find another gym, Joey reminded Allie.

    In his tirade against the woman, Joey said he phoned up the gym and asked them about their rules on whether people could work out without their shirt on. Joey pointed out in the video that they indeed could and that Allie should find another gym for herself if she has a problem with it.

    “You need to follow the rules, including the rule that says you don’t film people without their consent to post on social media,” Joey said

    Image credits: thejoeyswoll

    “If you don’t like the rules of the gym, too bad. Find another gym and LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE,” read the caption of his video, where he chided Allie for her unwarranted comment.

    “Listen, I get it, you want to train at a gym where everyone keeps their shirt on –that’s  fine, but this gym isn’t one of them. I called Absolute Recomp in Texas and their rules say you can train with your shirt off, and you signed up there,” the TikToker said.

    “Therefore you need to follow the rules, including the rule that says you don’t film people without their consent to post on social media – and people tried to tell you this!” he continued. “Yet you arrogantly posted your response when they tried to defend this man. But you didn’t listen. Therefore, you get me.”

    Allie referred to those who criticized her video as “keyboard warriors”

    Image credits: thejoeyswoll

    Joey said he also found it funny that Allie was telling her critics to speak to her at the gym face-to-face when she, herself, chose to secretly film the shirtless man at the gym without his knowledge.

    “I also find it funny that your post is calling them Keyboard warriors and that if you go to the same gym, they should come and find you, that they should speak to you face-to-face,” Joey said. “Yet you think it’s okay to film that man and make fun of him literally behind his back without him knowing.”

    His punchline then came down like a sledgehammer: “Just a head’s up, they can’t find you at that gym anymore because I called the owner and your membership has been canceled,” he said.

    “You need to do better. Mind your own business,” the TikToker concluded.

    Since the backlash, Allie has changed her account settings on Instagram and TikTok to go private.

    Joey, who has 7.4 million followers on TikTok, has become the platform’s very own muscle maestro, the bodybuilding guard of the gym world. He has carved out a massive niche for himself by standing up to gym bullies and reminding people about basic etiquettes in the world where iron clanks and muscles are pumped.

    “Listen, I get it, you want to train at a gym where everyone keeps their shirt on – fine, but this gym isn’t one of them”

    @thejoeyswoll If you don’t like the rules of the gym, too bad. Find another gym and LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE. #gymtok #gym #fyp ♬ original sound – Joey Swoll

    The bodybuilder was widely praised for his retort to Allie for mocking the unsuspecting man.

    Social media users rushed to side with Joey after he released his TikTok video, and they agreed that Allie’s comment was completely uncalled for.

    “I’ve seen a few of these…. And whoever this is just got absolutely torched by Joey. Hell of a way to find out your gym membership has been cancelled!” one comment said while another added, “You’re a hero, Joey. Your campaign for a positive gym culture is effective. You convinced me that it was safe to join a gym for the first time, and I’ve been going consistently for a few months now.”

    Joey was crowned a hero for coming to the shirtless man’s defense and also for reminding people that their rude comments on other people working out have no place in a gym.

    “Niiiiiiiiiiice!!!!  ANYONE who films another gym member needs to have their membership canceled! Thank you for always being the stand up man that you are!” said another comment.

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    [ad_2] Donata Leskauskaite
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  • The Funniest Cartoons by John Atkinson

    The Funniest Cartoons by John Atkinson

    John Atkinson is a cartoonist known for his comics and cartoons that often play with language, literature, and everyday situations, offering humorous insights into various aspects of life. He’s also an author of a book Abridged Classics: Brief Summaries of Books that you might also want to check out. John’s book is a collection of irreverent summations of more than 100 well-known works of literature. Scroll down to check out some of his best work!

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    Cartoon by John Atkinson.

    If you liked these cartoons and wish to see more, check out Abridged Classics: Brief Summaries of Books book on Amazon. John’s book is a collection of irreverent summations of more than 100 well-known works of literature. Please note that this site is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

    liver

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  • Job Interview Tip: Use This Tactic Every Time

    Job Interview Tip: Use This Tactic Every Time

    You have probably wondered what’s the best answer to “So tell me a little about yourself?” that employers love to ask at job interviews. Wonder no more! Just refuse to answer.

    The post Job Interview Tip: Use This Tactic Every Time first appeared on Crazy Funny Pictures.

    liver

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  • While Nothing

    While Nothing

    José received a bit of VB .Net UI code that left him scratching his head.

    While IsNothing(Me.FfrmWait)
        If Not IsNothing(Me.FfrmWait) Then
            Exit While
        End If
    End While
    

    While a form doesn’t exist, if the form does exist, break out of the loop. I suspect this was intended as a busy loop, waiting for some UI element to be ready. Because busy loops are always the best way to wait for things.

    But even with the busy loop, the If is a puzzle- why break out of the loop early, when the loop condition is going to break itself? Did they just not understand how loops work?

    Now, the last thing to note is the variable naming conventions. frmMyForm is a common convention in WinForms programming, a little bit of Hungarian notation to tell you what the UI element actually is. But what’s that *leading F there? Are they… doing a double Hungarian? Does it tell us that this is a form? Or maybe they’re trying to tell us that it’s a field of the class? Or maybe a developer was saying “F my life”?

    We’d all be better off if this code were nothing.

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    Remy Porter

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  • Making progress here

    Making progress here

    Tags: memes

    3236 points, 204 comments.

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  • Nation Celebrates Valentine’s Day

    Nation Celebrates Valentine’s Day

    People across America are exchanging candy and flowers with their sweethearts for Valentine’s Day, but each individual has their own preferred way to show their partner they care. How are you celebrating Valentines’ Day?

    “Giving my annual ‘I know I haven’t been the world’s best husband’ speech.”

    Harri Huber, Cloud Watcher

    “Refraining from adultery for 24 hours.”

    Asma Pollard, Systems Analyst

    “I’ll be scoping out targets for a slip and fall scam.”

    Nelson Eban, Amateur Accountant

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  • Dying Mom Creates A Final Song For Her Son And It Goes Viral

    Dying Mom Creates A Final Song For Her Son And It Goes Viral

    Many of us wonder what comes after we leave this world. Does our existence end once we close our eyes for good or do we carry on as friendly ghosts or guardian angels of our loved ones? Sadly, the musician Cat Janice will get the answer way sooner than she should. As a parting gift to her son, she wrote a song that went viral on the internet, ensuring that her boy will be taken care of even when she’s gone.

    More info: TikTok

    Image credits: cat.janice

    Young mother and musician Cat Janice was diagnosed with aggressive cancer

    Image credits: cat.janice

    People tend to remember significant days when something big has happened to them. The day they met the love of their lives, the day they adopted their fluffy dog or the day they received the worst possible news. Life separates into “before” and “after”. For 31-year-old Cat Janice, this day happened back in 2022, when she noticed a strange lump on her neck. The young woman to the doctors and heard the sad news – she was diagnosed with sarcoma, a rare type of tumor that grows within the bones and tissue.

    Despite the diagnosis, Cat was determined to fight and after a long treatment, she kicked cancer’s butt. But cancer is a cunning disease, it can lay dormant in the deepest corners of the body, waiting to strike again. Tragically, it decided to return to Cat on a warm summer day in June 2023. This time, it seemed even more aggressive, attacking her lungs. Once again, the brave mother went to battle. After finding out that the cancer has returned, Cat posted a hopeful video to her social media, saying:

    “I’m going to go back into treatment. I’m going to be really effing strong about it and I’m going to let you guys know what’s going on. And thank you guys so much for loving me.”

    Image credits: cat.janice

    In January 2024, she found out she was losing the battle and went into hospice. But she wanted to release just one more song before she passed

    Image credits: cat.janice

    With so much love and support from everyone around her, Cat had the best chances possible. A mother to a wonderful boy, a musician, and a scientist, working towards a master’s degree in coastal geology – it wasn’t fair of destiny to try and take her away. If only diseases cared about it. Sadly, they have no regards for future plans, they don’t listen to the prayers whispered at night, they do not care for the tears they cause.

    Cat found some solace in her music; despite her diagnosis, she continued to create songs, write wonderful lyrics and produce tunes for others to enjoy. Every day, she would choose to create instead of wallow in her despair. But, this time, cancer was stronger than her. In January of 2024, she posted a heartbreaking update about her health, revealing that the tumors have “basically tripled overnight”.

    On January 10th, 2024, while everyone was still busy making plans for the year ahead, Cat entered hospice. Due to her tumors, she could not breathe on her own.
    The worried mother knew that she doesn’t have much time left; that one day she won’t be there for her boy to take care of him when he needs tucking in, cheering up or new trainers once his feet start growing seemingly overnight. But she was determined to take care of him anyway.

    She signed all of her music rights to her son, hoping he will be taken care of even after she’s gone

    Image credits: cat.janice

    Image credits: cat.janice

    The musician signed her entire discography over to her son, ensuring that all the royalties go towards his future. And, as a wonderful, bittersweet final present, she released one final track, “Dance Outta My Head”. The song is catchy, with fun and easily memorable lyrics and a beat that gets stuck for days.

    Cat revealed that the song idea just “came randomly” as she and her son were just driving around. “We came up with some fun lyrics and a little ditty, I song banked it and made a little voice note of it and as time went on, we would bounce around in the car to it every now and then.”

    She didn’t expect much, but the song quickly went viral with thousands of TikTok videos being made using that sound. Actors, influencers, and others encouraged people to use this sound so Janice’s son would receive profits. A lot of people came forward, dancing “outta their head”, sharing touching stories about personal experiences with cancer.

    Much to her surprise, the song went viral, with thousands of people all over internet dancing to “Dance Outta My Head”, raising more money for Cat’s son

    Image credits: julieevlorentzen

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    Image credits: sadgasm2.0

    This just shows that music brings people together, making the world a slightly better place. That’s the tragic beauty of human nature, finding hope in a losing battle, trying to help a stranger as much as we can. If only this was enough. But Cat doesn’t want her listeners to be sad. In her video, she wrote about her wish.

    “I want my last song to bring joy and fun! It’s all I ever wanted through my battle with cancer.”

    Her wish came true! One night, she woke up from the beep of her medical support machine and checked her phone. She quickly learned that that her song had charted.

    “I was sitting there in the middle of the night looking at my phone. What the heck is going on here. I started yelling and my parents came down, they were like, what is going on?”

    It inspired other people to share about their encounters with this cruel disease

    Image credits: viktoria._sander

    “You all loved me so hard and gave me that moment and I am forever grateful. Whatever God brings my way, I know I am loved,” shared the musician

    Image credits: cat.janice

    As of February 2024, “Dance Outta My Head” is still in the TOP 10 in the charts. I wonder how many listeners send their love and best wishes every time they dance to it or go for a drive with their loved ones just like Cat did? Luckily, Cat does feel the good vibes everyone’s sending her.

    “YOU DID THIS! You all loved me so hard and gave me that moment and I am forever grateful. Whatever God brings my way, I know I am loved,” she shared on her socials.

    Hopefully, Cat will be able to see even more crazy dancers to her song and find solace in knowing she has made so many people happy. Especially her son, who will listen to her last tune, knowing that mom loves him very much and she will always be there for him, even if he cannot see her.

    Everyone loved the song and admired Cat’s incredible strength

    [ad_2] Margo Butautaite
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  • So… What’s Your Zodiac Sign?

    So… What’s Your Zodiac Sign?

    Move over, Aries, Gemini, and Pisces! Those ancient behemoths stomped their way into the celestial chart eons ago, leaving all other signs in the dust. Dinosaur is the best zodiac sign!

    The post So… What’s Your Zodiac Sign? first appeared on Crazy Funny Pictures.

    liver

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  • A Stalled Upgrade

    A Stalled Upgrade

    It was time to start developing version 2 of Initech's flagship software product. This meant planning meetings. So many planning meetings.

    The most important one, for the actual development team, was the user story meeting. The core of these meetings was a few folks from the programming team, including Steve, the director of architecture, Brian, and a variety of product owners, responsible for different segments of the overall product.

    As a group, they'd review the user stories, and approve them. Once they were approved for development, work would begin.

    The meetings were difficult to schedule, because of the number of stakeholders, and they were viewed as a checkpoint- you can't start implementing features until the product owner has walked through the user story with the team, but they were also a priority.

    At the meeting, product owner Renee started walking the team through some of the features she owned. "So, here's my user, Fred Flinstone." Her slide popped up an image of the animated character next to a set of bullet points describing the feature. "He needs to add an item into inventory, so that it can actually be sold. To do that…"

    Renee walked them through the details of the feature. Heads nodded around the table- it was a pretty straightforward CRUD application. It was good that the product owner walked them through a few workflow things unique to Initech's product, but there wasn't anything particularly shocking.

    Renee advanced to the next slide. "And now, Fred needs to run a report. This report needs to…"

    Again, Renee walked them through the key fields that needed to be on the report, how the report was triggered, what the reasonable filtering options would be.

    "Any questions?"

    Brian, the director, looked thoughtful for a moment, and then said, "I think I do. I can't really see a reason why one person would want to both add items to inventory- a receiving job- and run reports on inventory consumption. There's no reason someone doing the task would also need to run the report. I can't accept your user stories until you change one of the users to be a different person."

    "What? The name doesn't matter," Renee protested.

    "We should probably just stick a pin in this and pick up when we can reschedule another meeting. Thank you everyone," Brian said. He grabbed his laptop, stood, and left the meeting. Everyone sat there for a moment, realized the meeting was actually over, and followed him out a few minutes later.

    That afternoon, Steve finally managed to find Brian. "What the heck was that?"

    Brian sighed. "Look, the entire development team is swamped, you know it. We don't have bandwidth to take on new work. Tracey should have that priority-one bug done in a few days, and maybe once that's done we can start putting resources on the the version 2 project. For now, we need to stall, and that was the only thing I could think of."

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    Remy Porter

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  • RFK Apologizes To Family For Super Bowl Ad Featuring JFK’s Campaign Imagery, Music

    RFK Apologizes To Family For Super Bowl Ad Featuring JFK’s Campaign Imagery, Music


    Claiming that the ad was created “without any involvement or approval from my campaign” Robert F. Kennedy Jr. apologized to his family for any pain caused by his Super Bowl ad that used JFK’s campaign song and inserted RFK into 1960s imagery, despite keeping the ad pinned to the top of his X page. What do you think?

    “Whenever I want to earnestly apologize to my family, I do it publicly.”

    Jessica Vuong, Cocking Assistant

    “The weirdest part was that it was an ad for Gatorade Frost.”

    Adrien Loach, Lunch Planner

    “Americans have no respect for their uncles.”

    Rex Carlini, Executive Therapist



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  • 12 Former Child Stars Who Were Exploited By Their Parents

    12 Former Child Stars Who Were Exploited By Their Parents

    Michael Jackson revealed that his father, Jo, would regularly pressure him and his brothers to work longer and harder, even using physical violence as punishment. 

    “When he’d come to see me, I’d get sick,” the King of Pop told Oprah in a 1992 interview. “I’d start to regurgitate.”

    Whenever the talented group would miss a step or note during rehearsals, Jo would strike them with an electrical cord or the buckle end of a belt.

    “None of us can remember him holding us or cuddling us or telling us, ‘I love you,’” Jermaine Jackson said of her abusive father in a memoir.

    But his father didn’t only exercise physical violence on his sons. He also sexually abused his daughters. 

    The eldest daughters of the Jackson clan, Rebbie and La Toya, accused Jo of sexual abuse, saying their mother, Katherine, was complicit in the assaults.

    “When your father gets out of bed with your mother and gets into bed with his daughter, and you hear the mother saying, ‘No, Joe, not ­tonight. Let her rest. Leave her alone, she’s tired,’ that makes you crazy,” La Toya wrote in a 1991 memoir.


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    Ugnė Lazauskaitė
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