Humor | ReportWire publishes the latest breaking U.S. and world news, trending topics and developing stories from around globe.
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Kamala Harris toured a Planned Parenthood that offers abortion services, the first vice president to do so, where she delivered a speech defending reproductive rights. What do you think?
“Probably good for her to have feelers out for other jobs.”
Sid Barrera, Trinket Designer
“So that’s why there were a bunch of reporters at my abortion.”
Mari Mahoney, Fantasy Historian
“It was pretty cool of her to sign my fetus.”
Becky Murillo, Word Approver
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WASHINGTON—Her mind spinning as she poured over the sheaf of papers, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly discovered classified documents Friday revealing that she is an android created by the DNC. “Wha—no, it can’t be,” said Harris, whose mouth hung open in shock, too horrified to scream after accidentally stumbling upon a blueprint in a musty cabinet in a back room of the West Wing for a humanoid robot labeled ‘K. Harris Model 3.’ “That looks like me. But, but, I’m me. Right? What about my parents? My memories? I thought I was a child once—wasn’t I?” At press time, a horrified Harris had startled and dropped the documents after Biden suddenly appeared behind her in the doorway.
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Joseph Lawrence, a 25-year-old man from the United States, has shared an important piece of advice to social media users after being rushed to the hospital over lung complications.
“Psa if you vape please consider quitting, had a hole in my lung the other day and had to be rushed to the ER because I could not breathe, thankfully I’m okay and it didn’t fully collapse,” the man wrote on X (formerly known as Twitter).
“Please take care of yourselves and consider quitting, it’s not worth it,” he continued.
In the comments of his post, Joseph added that he vaped “every day for years” and that the incident occurred despite him quitting a year ago.
Image credits: j0elawrence
Electronic cigarettes are devices that heat a liquid and produce an aerosol or mix of small particles in the air.
Using an e-cigarette, also known as vaping, is unsafe for kids, teens, and young adults, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Most devices contain nicotine—the drug in regular cigarettes, cigars, and other tobacco products—as well as flavorings and other chemicals that help to make the aerosol.
“Nicotine is highly addictive and can harm adolescent brain development, which continues into the early to mid-20s,” the CDC site reads.
“Some of the ingredients in e-cigarette aerosol could also be harmful to the lungs in the long term. For example, some e-cigarette flavorings may be safe to eat but not to inhale because the gut can process more substances than the lungs.”
Image credits: j0elawrence
As of February 18, 2020, a total of 2,807 hospitalized EVALI (e-cigarette or vaping use-associated lung injury) cases or deaths have been reported to the CDC from all 50 states of the United States.
Health officials point to vitamin E acetate (an additive in some THC-containing e-cigarettes) as the primary, but not the only, cause of EVALI, as per the American Lung Association. Among all the EVALI cases reported, 96% of patients required hospitalization.
Image credits: Olena Bohovyk
Despite this information, many people cast doubt on Joseph’s message, accusing him of fabricating a story in order to spread panic or go viral.
“So it’s been a year since your last vape, so you [have] just been walking around with a hole in your lung for a year and hitting the gym for those guns and abs no worries and then after a year of no vaping you had to be hospitalised?” someone inquired.
“Love the hospital thirst trap,” another user wrote.
A third person commented, “Bro I’ve vaped for 8 years without even a reduction in lung capacity it’s a skill issue I’m afraid.”
“Sorry dude, but the cause of your issue was misdiagnosed. You need better doctors. Preferably ones who specialize in health,” someone else claimed.
Image credits: Anna Shvets
A separate individual accused the 25-year-old of “spreading corrupt and evil lies,” claiming that “vaping normal eLiquids with normal eCigarette-devices doesn’t harm anyone’s health. Never has and never will.”
After the backlash, Joseph responded to the “trolls” who questioned the veracity of his story in a subsequent X post.
“I’m tired of having my phone blow up with people saying I’m lying about a serious health scare that I had, if you don’t believe me that’s absolutely fine, keep smoking for all I care, this message was for the people in my life that follow me, not the trolls of the internet,” the young man wrote.
Experts are concerned about the growing use of e-cigarettes in the United States, especially among young people.
Over 1 in 10 young adults in the United States regularly use e-cigarettes, according to a CDC report from 2021. People aged 18–24 were the most likely to use them among all adults.
Research indicates that from 2020 to 2022, e-cigarette sales jumped in the United States to 22.7 million products sold each month.
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Donata Leskauskaite
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Date problems continue again this week as usual, both sublime (Goodreads!) and mundane
(a little light time travel). If you want to be frist poster today, you’re going to really
need that time machine.
Early Bird
Dave
crowed
“Think you’re hot for posting the first comment? I posted the zeroth reply to this comment!”
You got the worm, Dave.
Don M.
sympathized for the poor underpaid time traveler here.
“I feel sorry for the packer on this order….they’ve a long ways to travel!”
I think he’s on his way to get that minusfirsth post.
Cardholder
Other Dave L.
“For Co-Op bank PIN reminder please tell us which card,
but whatever you do, for security reason don’t tell us which card”
This seems like a very minor wtf, their instructions probably
should have specified to only send the last 4 and Other Dave used all 16.
Diligent
Mark W.
uncovered an innovative solution to date-picker-drudgery.
If you don’t like the rules, make new ones! Says Mark,
“Goodreads takes the exceedingly lazy way out in their
app. Regardless of the year or month, the day of month
choice always goes up to 31.”
Finally this Friday,
Peter W.
found a classic successerror.
“ChituBox can’t tell if it succeeded or not.”
Chitu seems like the glass-half-full sort of android.
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Lyle Seaman
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A Nebraska woman was arrested for double-swiping her gas rewards card for months, taking advantage of a glitch that allowed her to get almost $28,000 worth of gas for free. What do you think?
“It’s sickening to see someone take advantage of an innocent fossil fuel company.”
Jose Markis, Bible Assembler
“Doesn’t she know exploitative loopholes are only for the 1%?”
Leyla Mccarthy, Mortgage Approver
“So you’re telling me it’s possible to acquire things through less-than-honest means?”
Clark Dixon, systems analyst
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People who are great at their job get rewarded with even more job and unpaid overtime. Only total suckers give 100% at their corporate job hell. Never give more than 50%!
The post So Our Company Has This Cool Thing… first appeared on Crazy Funny Pictures.
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liver
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A Montana rancher is facing the possibility of jail time for illegally breeding a “giant hybrid sheep” species.
Arthur “Jack” Schubarth, 80, from Vaughn, illegally used tissue and testicles from wild sheep killed by hunters in central Asia and the U.S. to breed the “giant” hybrid sheep species. His intention was to sell the species to private hunting preserves in Texas.
During an appearance on Tuesday before a federal judge in Great Falls, Arthur pleaded guilty to felony charges of wildlife trafficking and conspiracy to traffic wildlife.
Image credits: Mayukh Karmakar / Pexels (Representational Image)
Legal filings reveal that Arthur, alongside other unnamed conspirators, employed the semen of the Montana Mountain King (MMK) in a scheme to artificially inseminate various species of ewes – all of which were not permitted in Montana – aiming to produce hybrid creatures.
Their objective was to engineer a bigger and more “valuable” species of sheep that would eventually become prized hunting trophies.
Arthur “conspired with at least five other individuals between 2013 and 2021 to create the larger hybrid species of sheep that would garner higher prices from shooting preserves,” read a statement from the U.S. Department of Justice.
This is fucking nuts and I say this as someone who spends a lot of time thinking about the weird possibilities of biology
This motherfucker went full breaking bad on some cloned sheep nuts to make big sheep for hunting trophieshttps://t.co/0nBQxGzcuw
— Jake Wintermute 🪵 (@SynBio1) March 14, 2024
“This was an audacious scheme to create massive hybrid sheep species to be sold and hunted as trophies,” said Assistant Attorney General Todd Kim of the Justice Department’s Environment and Natural Resources Division (ENRD).
“In pursuit of this scheme, Schubarth violated international law and the Lacey Act, both of which protect the viability and health of native populations of animals,” Todd said.
US rancher used tissue and testicles to breed ‘giant’ sheep to sell for hunting https://t.co/fZEtVcST8i
— Oliver Milman (@olliemilman) March 14, 2024
“The kind of crime we uncovered here could threaten the integrity of our wildlife species in Montana,” said Ron Howell, chief of enforcement for Montana Fish, Wildlife & Parks (FWP). “This was a complex case and the partnership between us and U.S Fish and Wildlife Service was critical in solving it.”
Arthur faces a maximum penalty of five years in prison for each felony count and a fine of up to $250,000 and three years of supervised release. He will be handed his sentence on July 11.
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Binitha Jacob
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Rui recently pulled an all-nighter on a new contract. The underlying system is… complicated. There’s a PHP front end, which also talks directly to the database, as well as a Java backend, which also talks to point-of-sale terminals. The high-level architecture is a bit of a mess.
The actual code architecture is also a mess.
For example, this code lives in the Java portion.
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final class Status {
static byte [] status;
static byte [] normal = {22,18,18,18};
public static boolean equals(byte[] array){
boolean value=true;
if(status[0]!=array[0])
value=false;
if(status[1]!=array[1])
value=false;
if(status[2]!=array[2])
value=false;
if(status[3]!=array[3])
value=false;
return value;
}
}
The status information is represented as a string of four integers, with the normal status being the ever descriptive “22,18,18,18”. Now, these clearly are code coming from the POS terminal, and clearly we know that there will always be four of them. But boy, it’d be nice if this code represented that more clearly. A for loop in the equals method might be nice, or given that there are four distinct status codes, maybe put them in variables with names?
But that’s just the aperitif.
The PHP front end has code that looks like this:
$sql = "select query from table where id=X";
$result = mysql_query($sql);
$result2 = mysql_query($result);
We fetch a field called “query” from the database, mangle it to inject some values, and then execute it as a query itself. You know exactly what’s happening here: they’re storing database queries in the database (so users can edit them! This always goes well!) and then the front end checks the database to know what queries it should be executing.
Rui is looking forward to the end of this contract.
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Remy Porter
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Former Boeing employee John Barnett was found dead in his car from an apparent “self-inflicted gunshot wound” on the day he was set to be cross-examined about allegations he’d made regarding the company’s grave safety breaches on the production line. What do you think?
“Does Boeing have plans to hire another whistleblower?”
Benjamin Hayes • Fibula Expert
“As much as I’d like to say this is a conspiracy, Boeing has paid me not to.”
Leo Morgan • Band Leader
“I guess you really are more likely to die in a car than a plane.”
Olivia Clarke • Holiday Engineer
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The once open-for-all self-checkout lanes at giants like Walmart and Target might be undergoing a transformation, with possible limits on who can use them.
Reports say that it is possible these self-checkout lanes will eventually become reserved for Walmart+ members and Spark delivery drivers.
Shoppers have recently been left bewildered after seeing some self-checkout lines closed at Walmart.
“This is the second time this week that I’ve gone to Walmart, and this is a different Walmart, and it’s been right about this time, and all their self-checkouts are closed and they’ve started to open up the regular lines again,” one TikTok was quoted saying.
One Walmart shopper posted a picture on Reddit that showed a sign that said: “Attention: This self-checkout is for Spark shoppers and Walmart Scan & Go only.”
Image credits: Walmart Corporate
“Oh, I wouldn’t shop there then. I don’t do anything but self-checkout at Walmart,” read a comment on the post.
“That is messed up. Some days you have to wait 45 minutes in line or even it feels like that,” another added.
Another wrote, “My store has this, we have 4 registers supposed to be for scan & go/spark drivers but the spark drivers go wherever they please, and other customers get soooo mad because they can’t use cash bc it has no cash box.”
Kelsey Bohl, who holds the position of senior manager for corporate communications at Walmart, confirmed that shoppers at select Walmart stores might observe modifications in the availability of self-checkout lanes.
“From time-to-time, our stores adjust the use of staffed checkouts and self-checkouts. For example, a store might start or end the day with staffed checkouts. As the number of shoppers and associate staffing increases, these stores open self-checkout registers to manage the increased customer flow. This process isn’t new,” Kelsey was quoted saying in a statement.
Image credits: Jeffrey Greenberg/Universal Images Group
Kelsey further elaborated that when there is a period of limited access, certain Walmart outlets may reserve specific self-checkout lanes exclusively for Walmart+ members and Spark drivers.
“This decision is intended to better manage checkout availability,” she added.
In a conversation with TODAY, Kelsey also noted that it is individual store managers who decide whether to close lanes or limit their availability to a certain number of hours based on their employees’ and customers’ needs.
“Store managers have the autonomy to make decisions about what is best for their specific store in their area, for their customers. It’s a very localized decision,” Kelsey explained to the outlet.
“Some stores, in some locations, may start the day off and they have associate staff cash registers open only, and as the day goes on, and associate staffing picks up, customer traffic picks up, they’ll open up self-checkout cash registers.”
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Karina Babenok
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Branon‘s boss, Steve, came storming into his cube. From the look of panic on his face, it was clear that this was a full hair-on-fire emergency.
“Did we change anything this weekend?”
“No,” Branon said. “We never deploy on a weekend.”
“Well, something must have changed?!”
After a few rounds of this, Steve’s panic wore off and he explained a bit more clearly. Every night, their application was supposed to generate a set of nightly reports and emailed them out. These reports went to a number of people in the company, up to and including the CEO. Come Monday morning, the CEO checked his inbox and horror of horror- there was no report!
“And going back through people’s inboxes, this seems like it’s been a problem for months- nobody seems to have received one for months.”
“Why are they just noticing now?” Branon asked.
“That’s really not the problem here. Can you investigate why the emails aren’t going out?”
Branon put aside his concerns, and agreed to dig through and debug the problem. Given that it involved sending emails, Branon was ready to spend a long time trying to debug whatever was going wrong in the chain. Instead, finding the problem only took about two minutes, and most of that was spent getting coffee.
public void Send()
{
}
This application had been in production over a year. This function had not been modified in that time. So while it’s technically true that no one had received a report “for months” (16 months is a number of months), it would probably have been more accurate to say that they had never received a report. Now, given that it had been over a year, you’d think that maybe this report wasn’t that important, but now that the CEO had noticed, it was the most important thing at the company. Work on everything else stopped until this was done- mind you, it only took one person a few hours to implement and test the feature, but still- work on everything else stopped.
A few weeks later a new ticket was opened: people felt that the nightly reports were too frequent, and wanted to instead just go to the site to pull the report, which is what they had been doing for the past 16 months.
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Remy Porter
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Most of us feel like our homes are sanctuaries, a castle or fort where we can be comfortable and do things our way. Naturally, one’s home is the perfect place to reveal all of your intricacies and idiosyncrasies. So exploring someone else’s home is a unique and interesting way to see who they truly are.
Someone asked “People who go to others’ homes for work, what is the weirdest thing you have seen?” and netizens shared their most bizarre discoveries. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites, and be sure to comment your own thoughts and experiences below.
Electrician here. Was wiring a new room when I stumbled upon a secret door. Behind it? A small, fully decked-out disco room—mirror ball, neon lights, the works, all crammed into a space no bigger than a closet. The homeowner just winked and said, ‘Every house needs a little secret party spot.’ I’ve seen a lot of odd things, but that secret disco takes the cake. Made me wish I brought my dancing shoes to work.
The owners of the house were big game hunters. As soon as you walked through the door you were greeted by two giraffe shoulder mounts. And all throughout the house they had taxidermy everywhere. Walking across zebra skin rugs into a room with a whole pride of lions. Going up the stairs that were lined with ducks with a bobcat posed to try and catch one. All of that and they couldn’t figure out a way to get the squirrel out of their attic.
I was the house that was weird. We had a small kitten that was full of energy. He would jump on our wooden rocker and by the time you noticed movement the cat would be long gone. It legit looked like a ghost so we nicknamed him “floor demon.”
We had a termite inspector come by and he commented that the rocker was rocking by itself. I said, “Oh, it’s just the floor demon.”
For some unknown reason I never thought to explain what the floor demon actually was.
Yeah, he never came back to our house again.
I used to do on-site tech support for an internet service provider. Both of my instances involved animals. One was a goat that was a “house pet” and chewed up the hem of my pants as I worked. The other was 2 pet chinchillas, which I was encouraged to interact with (they were so soft!). On the drive home, my eyes started pouring water and eventually swelled shut. I had to pull over, flush them with water, and wait it out. Turns out I’m extremely allergic to chinchillas.
I work for a company that renovates apartments in between tenants. We often find a lot of gross stuff (the photos sent in the group chat with my field guys when they’re one-upping each other give me nightmares sometimes lol) but the worst I’ve seen in person was when I went to walk a unit with the construction manager after the previous tenant moved out and it just…stank. Like **STANK** stank, like absolute f*****g s**t. It was like walking into a brick wall of stink.
We were walking around trying to find the source of the smell and noticed that it was particularly bad around this one closet in the hall. I tried to open the closet, door was stuck. The construction manager tries and gets it open with considerable effort, at which point we are confronted with a roughly shoulder-height wall of dog and/or cat s**t in various stages of rot. If you’ve seen photos of people’s cubicles filled with balloons by their coworkers, imagine that, but the balloons are animal s**t. It was so clumped up that nothing fell out when we opened the door. Just one solid piece.
The rest of the apartment was pristine. Almost surgically clean. But that one closet was horrifying.
A 15 foot wide, 10 ft high nude oil painting.
Customer: “You like it?”
Me: “Uh, yeah…it’s a nice painting.”
Him: “That’s my wife. She’s on her way now, she’ll be here soon.”
I then sat with the two of them for an hour, having a coffee right beside this massive nude painting, trying not to look at it or his wife.
Oddly large amount of blood, like suspiciously larger than a shaving nick or a nose bleed in and around a bathroom sink and floor, with a blood soaked swiffer pad in the trash.
Empty crib except a Chucky plushie.
Tons of empty syringes in the garbage can. Asked the client if he was sure he wanted them mixed in with the regular outside trash or if he had a container for them. I just assumed diabetic. Until he got all weird and muttered “nah, nah, just toss em, just get rid of em”.
Fully carpeted home, bathrooms included, with extra mats in front of every toilet, tub, sink, fridge, microwave, stove, couch, chair, cabinet etc. Carpets on carpets on carpets.
V******r next to a jar of mayonnaise on the kitchen counter.
ETA: these are all different houses. Sorry, should’ve specified that lol.
I’m a window cleaner, it’s a luxury service so most of our clients are fairly well off. I don’t know if it is weird but people like to test us. I’ve seen a literal chest full of cash open on someones bed. They knew we were coming, it had to be intentional. I ignored it, but some might be tempted. I’ve seen some pipes and other d**g paraphernalia but nothing too crazy.
I work in state housing maintanence so we tend to see the worst of the worst when I comes to houses.
Off the top of my head;
– house with the whole floor covered in empty soft drink bottles piled up to knee height. (Through every single room)
– house so badly cockroach infested that every surface in the house was moving
– unit where all the floor was coated in a layer of dried cat p**s and cat s**t everywhere.
– unit where someone overdosed and wasn’t found for a week or two. Needles everywhere surrounded by filth + a roughly human shaped outline of fleshy gunk on the floor in the living room.
Went to a house to evaluate it for residential solar. Very nice lady says “want to see my grow chamber?” It was a very professional setup, small amount of marijuana plants. She was going to expand. It wasn’t legal at the time. I pointed out that after the solar was installed a city inspector would be stopping by to inspect the connection at her electrical service panel, which was in the grow room.
A pet Racoon but it wasn’t exactly a pet more like a wild animal they forced to live with them. They even said as much- he showed up on their porch and they let him in and decided he was cute enough to stay… it was mean and I wouldn’t go anywhere near it.
Deliverer of Pizza here, delivered probably 20 pizzas to a motel room, thing was it was just one dude there and a whole lot of sexual paraphernalia scattered around the room, he also answered the door wearing nothing but cheetah print undies, that image will forever be burnt into my retinas. 🫠.
Went to an apartment building to do a structural assessment of the property. When it was completed we were asked to go to an apartment where a tenant was complaining of extreme humidity in every type of weather, even though nobody else on the floor, or the ones above or below complained of anything.
So we get in there and are instantly punched in the face with humidity. We’re talking rainy season in the Amazon levels of humidity. I have never experienced anything like it before. There was water droplets on every surface of the apartment. She has been pretty diligent at trying to keep the walls and stuff dry, but she was like 80 years old and you’d walk through and the carpet was just like squish squish squish with water pooling around your shoes.
She had this sliding door that opened up to her balcony and from all the water dripping down it onto that section of the carpet there was a mushroom forest. We’re talking like dozens and dozens of mushrooms ranging from 2″ tall to 2′ tall. Just insane to see.
So we start looking around and pretty quickly see the problem. The lady was too elderly to go down to the bottom floor to do her laundry every time she needed to wash something, which apparently was multiple times a day. So she asked her son to install a washer and dryer in her apartment. First it was against the rules of the tenancy agreement, but he also did a horrible s**t job. There was no place for the dryer to vent out anywhere, so in his infinite wisdom he took a big bucket, filled it with water, and then put the hose for the dryer vent into the bucket for some reason. She would fill up this bucket with the drain water from the washer as the hot air bubbled through it throughout the day just unleashing buckets of humid water into the air. So you have this massive bucket, that was pretty much a trough, taking up 3/4 of her closet with this washer dryer setup taking up the remaining space.
She created thousands and thousands of dollars in damage to the apartment. The whole flooring system had to be ripped out and removed. A lot of other things had to be ripped out too. I think all of her furniture was water damaged and swollen and started to get moldy after the washer and dryer were removed, same with a lot of her clothing and bedding/mattress as well. So she was out like $20,000 because her renters insurance does not cover willful ignorance that causes destruction of property and belongings.
A huge home with absolutely nothing in it except a small desk and computer, and a queen sized bed. Must have been a $900k-million dollar home, and it had a Jaguar in the garage. I was there to babysit their dog, a lovely Ascob Cocker Spaniel who adored tennis balls and I only roamed the house on the last day of their vacation to report that the pup was indeed a very good girl who left no messes.
On the flip side, I also babysat a Golden Retriever and Golden Doodle in a home to hoarders. It was beyond awful.
When I was a Poolman, I walked through a backyard to a pool once and saw the owner clapping his wife via my peripherals.
I came at the same day of the week, same time for over a year, so I don’t think it was accidental.
Got a great bonus that Christmas.
I nannied for a family who was going through some serious s**t behind the scenes, and it got weird for me so often. They had 2 kids, a 1.5 year old girl and a 3 year old boy. The mom, a doctor, would come home from work and lock herself in her room for hours while the kids banged on the door and cried for her. The dad, also a doctor, also locked himself in his office a lot and would make me be the go-between for his wife and himself. There was one morning he asked her what was for dinner tonight, and she burst into tears, pulled him behind a door and furiously started whispering stuff, came back in the room, flung something out of the freezer, and stormed out. Nothing was normal in that house. The secret lives of rich people, eh?
Used to do construction sales and would be in a handful of houses every week. Weirdest for me was the number of preppers—we’re talking basements piled with emergency food in buckets, guns everywhere, stockpiles of wood and random supplies. At least one house a week would be like that. Still makes me look at people differently.
Cleaned in a house one time, couple in their 30s or 40s, lower middle class, nothing fancy. They had multiple framed, signed, gold/platinum albums by the band, Train. No other bands, just, Train.
Also the garage had a bunch crop dusting signs and posters. I distinctly remember a yellow diamond crossing sign, ‘Crop Duster Crossing’ with a plane spraying gas.
Service Technician here. Been to this guy’s apartment unit where the carpet has been torn off, revealing the plywood. Windows were covered up by old cardboards that looks to be years old and breaking apart. Drywall behind the kitchen sink torn down. Sink filled with dirty moldy dishes. 5 gallon buckets filled with grease/mold. Stove pulled out and is in the middle of the kitchen. Feces on the floor. Kitty litter box…. This dude has no pet and the unit smelled like a*s.
Drove by the unit a few months later to see that it’s getting remodeled. Looks like that tenant got evicted. Crazy thing is, he drove a Hell Cat when it was first introduced and also had a Harley. He seems pretty sane and dressed casually. Would never imagined someone like that living in a dump… wait… I’ve seen dumpsters cleaner than this guy’s apartment.
Summer 1997 working for a moving company for the summer. Old head mover guy says to me “the kinky s**t is always in the instrument cases.” We carried a bunch of stuff up to the master BR, he pops a trombone case….no trombone but cuffs, d****s, v*******s, VHS p**n. That guy knew the way.
Oh man I delivered and installed artwork and many clients were mega wealthy. One guy had a huge property that would make Alex jones drool. It had an actual alter with two stone pillars covered in plastic and a huge pyramid built out of stones from the area. Either the guy thought it was funny or he was top tier Illuminati. Not making this up.
A client naked; I was a dog walker. I actually thought she was a beautiful statue until she moved and screamed. The next day she apologized, but I told her it was okay and I thought they had bought a new statue. She was disabled, and myself being a woman, we had a nice laugh and I’m sure she appreciated the compliment.
Honestly during my time I don’t recall seeing anything “weird” but I saw things that appalled me. Like a sweet cat being so obese he couldn’t even stand. And just crazy levels of filth. These were very wealthy people too with extremely nice homes.
One home had gross black marks ALL OVER every single wall. I asked what it was and was told it was dog slobber from their dog shaking his head and slinging it everywhere. And they didn’t even require us to clean it, they just live with dog slobber on the walls. .
Locked bedroom of wall-to-wall shelves and bins full of a large collection of dolls. Mainly the kind that they make horror movies about.
I used to do white glove tech delivery. One guy, probably 50’s was super chill and nice. But I walk in and his living room set up was two industrial massage chairs like you used to see in malls, a massive tv, and two Santa mannequins, one white and one black. In his dinning room he had three old Fredrick’s Of Hollywood mannequins with giant fake b***s and wigs on, as well as two other random store mannequins. He told me he collects mannequins.
We are auctioneers. We went to a house once where there was no water. The back porch was filled with five gallon buckets that were what he used as a toilet. The house was going to be put on the market. I have no idea what they did with all those buckets. We did not do an auction.
Couple years back we found a child coffin in an attic behind a kneewall that had no door leading to it. Same year another woman had the blanks for a child coffin in her deceased husbands workshop.
When I did a home visit for a lady with dementia with her husband, I noted their bedroom door was very unusual. It was split in half horizontally so that you could shut the door fully, or just the bottom half on separate hinges. He explained that she would become more confused in the evenings (‘sundowning’). It was to stop her from wandering out of the house while he was making dinner, but she would still be able to see out and talk to the family, and he could keep an eye on her. It reminded me of a horse stable door, never knew what to think of it.
Interior designer – did a consult for a fine artist – every single wall was covered (12ft ceilings) with oil paintings of barely-legal girls with their legs open. Stacked against the walls – 4-5 deep. Every.single one. Had their legs spread. He had skills but damn….
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Mindaugas Balčiauskas
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