Category: Humor

Respect is paramount to any successful relationship. One way to test whether it’s there is to see how others respond to your healthy boundaries. However, it can be pretty tough to enforce them when it comes to our family members. You might even feel a bit guilty or frustrated that you have to push back against entitled behavior.

Redditor u/HollywoodAlphie went viral after venting to the r/JUSTNOMIL online community about a touchy situation at home. She revealed how she and her husband were planning on celebrating their 11-year wedding anniversary; however, her mother-in-law insisted that they cancel their plans and help her do yard work instead. Check out the story below. Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.

At times, you might find that your in-laws have difficulty respecting your boundaries

Image credits:  lucigerma/Envato elements (not the actual photo)

One internet user opened up about how her mother-in-law felt entitled to her time on her wedding anniversary

Image credits:  YuriArcursPeopleimages/Envato elements (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: HollywoodAlphie

If you’re unlucky enough to have legitimately toxic in-laws, it’s likely making your life hell

Image credits: George Chambers/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Though we often see in-laws behaving terribly in comedy movies and on TV, the stereotype doesn’t always match up with reality. Whether or not your in-laws are going to be nice to you or make your life a living hell comes down to them as individuals and what your dynamic with them is like.

That being said, many married couples still deal with a lot of tension with their in-laws. There’s going to be friction between relatives no matter the case, sure. But in some instances, it’s very clear when someone feels entitled enough to keep testing other people’s boundaries.

According to NYT bestselling author Susan Forward, Ph.D., and Donna Frazier in their book ‘Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage,’ toxic in-laws are a reality of life. They aim to create chaos in your life using various tactics, both subtle and overt.

They categorize toxic in-laws into a few main groups. The Critics, for example, will always tell you what you’re doing wrong. Meanwhile, The Controllers will try to penetrate your boundaries, entrench themselves into your life, and run everything for you.

Then you have The Engulfers who constantly demand your time and attention. The so-called Masters of Chaos drain the couple’s energy by bombarding them with their problems. And The Rejecters will do whatever they can to tell you that they don’t want you to be part of their family.

It would be naive to think that you can turn your entitled or even toxic in-laws into considerate, self-aware, kind, and caring people overnight. Real change happens over a long period of time. It requires transparent communication, clear boundaries, and consequences for ‘bad’ behavior.

Not only that, but it’s genuinely hard for people to change their behavior and outlook on life. Unless something massively rocks their world or they come to a sudden realization of how they impact the people around them, they’re probably going to change only incrementally.

Even that slow progress can be called into question if the individual thinks they’re always in the right, no matter what. So, it might be best to temper your expectations. Aim for creating some peace and quiet in your life first before you set your expectations higher for their behavioral ‘makeover.’

Without proper boundaries, you’re bound to feel frustrated all the time because you’re at others’ beck and call

Image credits: Liza Summer/Pexels (not the actual photo)

The reality is that setting a boundary doesn’t automatically mean it’ll be respected. Sure, you can make it clear that it’s there, but if the other person walks all over it, you’re stuck thinking about how best to respond.

Broadly speaking, there are two potential lines of response. First, you may want to consider whether your boundaries are realistic. They might be too harsh. You might not have made your boundaries clear enough. Or the entire situation might have been a huge series of (hopefully, hilarious; realistically, exhausting) misunderstandings.

Secondly, if your boundaries keep getting trampled, you may want to rethink your relationship with that person. The reality might be that they simply don’t respect you enough to adapt to your expectations.

In that case, you’re free to speak to the person about how their behavior affects you (stay calm, use lots of “I” statements, and avoid chastising them so they don’t get defensive). Alternatively, you can simply accept the situation for what it is: unacceptable. Cut your losses. Spend less time around the individual until they prove to you that they’ve changed.

How well do you get along with your in-laws, dear Pandas? Are they genuinely good people or do you always end up frustrated when they visit? How do you like to celebrate your wedding anniversaries? Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comment section, at the bottom of this post.

The author shared additional information in the comments of her post, as it went viral

Here’s how some other readers reacted. They had some suggestions for the author as well

People say “work smarter, not harder” for a reason, as quite often there is a smart way to alleviate the workload. However, some bosses don’t see it—or don’t want to see it—even if their employees present it on a silver platter.

This redditor found a way to automate monitoring the company’s health, but when certain concerns were raised to her boss, the latter didn’t care for any counter arguments the OP had; cue malicious compliance.

Bored Panda has delved deeper into the topic of employee-boss relationships by discussing the matter with Associate Professor of Organizational Behavior at Universidade Católica Portuguesa and Lecturer in Organizational Behavior at Maynooth University, Jon Gruda Ph.D., who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. Scroll down to find his thoughts in the text below, where you will also find our interview with the OP herself.

Some people find ways to work smarter, not harder

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This boss told her employee to delete an automated template she created, came to regret it shortly

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Image credits: Mimi Thian / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Defiant-Lion8183

Some people love Excel spreadsheets more than anything else at work

In a recent interview with Bored Panda, the OP revealed that what troubled her the most was the boss denying the approval in the first place and simply saying yes to anything passed her way without critically thinking it through. “If it goes well, [she’ll be] claiming credit and if it goes poorly – denying knowledge,” the redditor said, likely referring to more than just the spreadsheet.

While some might find such sentiments surprising, the OP is far from the only person who loooves Excel spreadsheets. (Personally knowing at least a couple of spreadsheet enthusiasts myself, I must admit, that’s not a feeling we share.) But whether they love it or hate it, office workers reportedly spend nearly 40% of their time using said tool, most of them—66% to be exact—having to open it at least once every hour, based on data from a 2022 survey.

Said survey found that just over one-in-ten people consider themselves beginners in Excel. Out of the rest, 57% would say they are intermediate users, 27% think they are advanced, while 6% would go as far as to say they are true experts. Be that as it may, less than a half (48%) of people using Excel have ever received any formal training in it. (That might be the reason why 12% of people have reportedly seen an Excel mistake cost more than £10,000 or roughly $12,650.)

It’s important for the superior and the subordinate to work as a team

While in a perfect world, mistakes at work—especially those costing the company tens of thousands of dollars—would not exist, in reality, no one’s immune to making one. But being well-familiarized with certain tools can minimize the chance of that happening or help an employee cross certain tasks off the to-do list faster.

Discussing the role that employees equipped with specific skills play in a company, Dr. Jon Gruda suggested that subordinates who have specialized knowledge of certain aspects can provide valuable insight to their superiors, which leads to better decision-making. “If anyone knows how to do a good job, it’s the people that actually do those jobs every day,” he pointed out.

“A team should be able to present ideas and risks to any problem as constructive. If I point out a risk to my leader or a concern, I’m giving them the ability to make the informed choice their position affords them. They are paid to know how to get the right information from the right people to make the hard calls,” the OP told Bored Panda.

That’s why it’s crucial for both of said parties to work as a team. According to Dr. Gruda, “Effective teamwork between bosses and subordinates enhances communication, boosts efficiency, improves morale, fosters innovation, and aids in conflict resolution.”

The expert added that excellent communication skills, together with empathy and decisiveness, are the main qualities a good boss should strive to have. “In addition to that, they must be adaptable, maintain high integrity, support their team, and possess visionary thinking to inspire and guide their employees towards common goals,” he told Bored Panda. “After all, that’s what leadership is all about.”

Unfortunately, in the OP’s case, it was malicious compliance, not common goals, that communication with her boss led to.

The OP answered some of people’s questions, providing more details

Fellow netizens shared their reactions in the comments

Some netizens went through similar situations themselves

“There’s no such thing as a coincidence,” they say, yet many little moments we encounter every day just seem more like funny accidents rather than anything else. Especially if you have an eye for these things like photographer Edas Wong. Nothing escapes his lens when he goes out on the streets. In the images below, you can see the many funny accidental photos that he has captured.

After Kelly Rowland’s viral confrontation with an usher on the 47th annual Cannes Film Festival red carpet on Tuesday (May 21), fans have taken to social media to show support for the singer.

The Destiny’s Child alum was filmed clashing with the worker when she was “scolded” as she tried to interact with her fans at the premiere of Marcello Mio on the Palais des Festivals staircase.