ReportWire

Category: Humor

Humor | ReportWire publishes the latest breaking U.S. and world news, trending topics and developing stories from around globe.

  • Boeing Launches Astronauts For First Time After Years Of Delay

    Boeing Launches Astronauts For First Time After Years Of Delay

    [ad_1]

    Boeing launched its first Starliner flight bound for the International Space Station with two astronauts on board, beginning a crucial final flight test of the years-delayed spacecraft. What do you think?

    “Was this intentional or a 737 that went wildly off course?”

    Alec Appleton, Sap Collector

    “Smart move, there aren’t any FAA investigations in space.”

    Leanna Rowe, Barista Trainer

    “I have a couple of whistleblowers I wouldn’t mind launching into the sun myself.”

    Lavinia Wise, Bliss Specialist

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Chuck’s Cheese

    Chuck’s Cheese

    [ad_1]

    “My husband, Nov 1981, at the local pseudo-Chuck E Cheese somewhere in northern New York.”

    (submitted by IG @annecavu)

    The post Chuck’s Cheese appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

    [ad_2]

    Team Awkward

    Source link

  • The Bunnies & The Bees

    The Bunnies & The Bees

    [ad_1]

    “My daughter learning all about Easter, 2009.”

    (submitted by IG @mermoondesigns)

    The post The Bunnies & The Bees appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

    [ad_2]

    Team Awkward

    Source link

  • Santa’s Pants

    Santa’s Pants

    [ad_1]

    “Back in 2001, we took our kids to the mall for Christmas pictures. Years later, our kids now question our judgement of putting them in Santa’s pants.”

    (submitted by IG @michellehagan) 

    The post Santa’s Pants appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

    [ad_2]

    Team Awkward

    Source link

  • 16 Bold Female Stars Redefining Beauty Standards By Embracing Body Hair

    16 Bold Female Stars Redefining Beauty Standards By Embracing Body Hair

    [ad_1]

    Hair removal in women has long been linked with ideals of femininity and sexual appeal. Rebecca Herzig, author of Plucked: A History of Hair Removal, traces back the modern-day notion of body hair being unattractive in women to Charles Darwin’s 1871 book Descent of a Man.

    But why was the 19th-century idea about hairiness bringing “sexual inversion, disease pathology, lunacy, and criminal violence” not equally applied to all genders? According to Herzig, this had to do with the enforcement of “gendered social control” at a time when women were having a more prominent role in society.

    Fast forward to the 21st century, when many women are increasingly challenging this cultural norm by choosing to control their own bodies and how they display them.

    While some do so in private, others are bold enough to flaunt their natural body hair in front of millions, throwing historical beauty standards out the window to prioritize their comfort.

    Below, Bored Panda invites you to take a look at 16 female celebrities who have ditched the razor and shown their unshaved bodies on the red carpet or social media.

    Gigi flaunted her armpit hair when she was featured on Love Magazine’s 2017 advent calendar.

    The IMG supermodel impacted the Internet when she went au naturel for the sporty shot, which many interpreted as a nod to the body hair acceptance movement.

    thelovemagazine Report

    Julia Roberts

    “The picture is vivid in my mind actually from that moment,” the Oscar winner said about her much-talked-about look at the London premiere of Notting Hill in 1999.

    While people interpreted the armpit hair as a statement about strict (and painful) beauty standards for women, Julia said she considered it more of a fashion faux pas.

    “I think I just hadn’t really calculated my sleeve length and the waving and how those two things would go together and reveal personal things about me.

    “So it wasn’t so much a statement as it’s just part of the statement I make as a human on the planet, for myself.”

    Still, many women celebrated this moment because, on such a memorable night for her career, a high-profile figure like Julia Roberts normalized what a woman’s natural body looks like.

    Mark Cuthbert/UK Press Report

    Britney Spears

    In 2003, the Princess of Pop turned heads when she arrived at the American Music Awards at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California, wearing a stunning cut-out, bedazzled dress paired with unshaven underarms.

    Chris Polk/FilmMagic Report

    Lady Gaga

    Lady Gaga is no stranger to making a scene. In 2011, a year after wearing the iconic meat dress, Gaga sported neon turquoise armpit hair to perform Born This Way at the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto, Canada.

    She completed the look with blue patches of fake pubic hair in her genital area.

    George Pimentel/WireImage Report

    Miley Cyrus

    In 2015, Miley took to the stage of the amfAR Gala to accept the Award of Inspiration, which she received for her fight against HIV/AIDS. The Flowers singer opted for a tight red dress with sequin hearts and matching opera gloves. 

    At one point in her speech, the pop star embraced her body hair when she lifted up her arms and showed the world her unshaven underarms.

    Kevin Tachman/WireImage Report

    Madonna

    The Queen of Pop summarized her attitude toward the expected beauty standards for women with four words: “Long hair … don’t care!”

    In 2014, Madonna challenged the body hair stigma with an Instagram photo in lingerie that exposed her unshaven armpit.

    “I saw how popular girls had to behave to get the boys. I knew I couldn’t fit into that. So, I decided to do the opposite. I refused to wear makeup or have a hairstyle. I refused to shave. I had hairy armpits,” the icon told Harper’s Bazaar in 2011.

    madonna Report

    Kelly Rowland

    The Destiny’s Child alum went all-natural to the 2008 Instyle Best Beauty Buys Awards.

    Kelly, who defines herself as a “pro-woman and a feminist all day long,” looked stunning while posing in her sequined gold dress with her underarm hair on display.

    Eamonn McCormack/Wireimage Report

    Lourdes "Lola" Leon

    “We’re ready for you, 2018,” Madonna captioned this photo with her then-21-year-old daughter, Lourdes Leon.

    Lourdes proudly showed off her unshaven armpits during a campaign with Converse, which was shot in 2018. The previous year, the model was photographed at the beach in Miami with her natural underarm body hair. 

    While the photos led to many unsolicited, sexist remarks on social media, others celebrated Lourdes’ decision to do whatever she pleased with her body.

    Madonna Report

    Ashley Graham

    Ashley is a body-positive activist and advocate for the body hair acceptance movement.

    In 2021, the model posted an Instagram photo posing in a light-blue dress that revealed she prefers to go au naturel when it comes to her armpits.

    “My philosophy has always been: shave what you want, wax what you want, leave what you want —do what works for you,” the 36-year-old said.

    ashleygraham/Instagram Report

    Michelle Rodriguez

    In 2015, the Fast & Furious actress posted a snapshot revealing her untrimmed underarm hair.

    Michelle was also photographed at the beach with visible armpit hair, highlighting her decision to leave the razor in the drawer.

    mrodofficial Report

    Juliette Lewis

    Juliette stunned in a deep V-neck brown dress with black ruffles at the New York City premiere of the 2002 thriller Enough.

    The actress embraced her natural beauty by placing her hands on her hips and exposing her unshaven underarms on the red carpet.

    Theo Wargo/WireImage Report

    Amandla Stenberg

    The young actress embraced her body hair when she attended the European premiere of The Hate U Give, her coming-of-age drama, during the 2018 BFI London Film Festival.

    Amandla, who identifies as non-binary and uses both she/her and they/them pronouns, shared a picture of her red-carpet look alongside the hashtags “#drama #armpit.”

    John Phillips/Getty Image Report

    Lola Kirke

    When Lola attended the 2017 Golden Globe Awards, she stepped out with visible armpit hair, sending a bold message about gender expectations concerning natural beauty.

    “Thanks to all you beautiful people who didn’t send me death threats on account of my #awesome #hairyarmpits! You rule,” the 33-year-old wrote alongside an Instagram photo of her red-carpet look.

    The actress’ older sister, Jemima Kirke, also took advantage of a global stage to make a statement as she went untrimmed at the CFDA Fashion Awards back in 2015.

    Venturelli/WireImage Report

    Mo'nique

    Mo’Nique took home the Best Supporting Female award for Precious at the 25th Film Independent’s Spirit Awards in 2010.

    Posing with her trophy in a white dress with silver high heels, the Maryland-born actress sported her best smile and visible leg hair.

    During an interview with Barbara Walters, the star said she “tried shaving one time, and it was uncomfortable and painful.” 

    “I said never again would I do that to myself,” Mo’Nique added.

    Jason Merritt/Getty Images Report

    Ryn Weaver

    Ryn performed at the 2015 South by Southwest festival, which celebrates the convergence of tech, film, music, education, and culture.

    The OctaHate singer opted not to shave her armpits for her performance. Two years later in 2017, the artist posted a photo with one of her arms up that also revealed she let her armpit hair grow.

    Merrick Ales/FilmMagic Report

    [ad_2] Karina Babenok
    Source link

  • The bearings in Walmart skateboards for kids.

    The bearings in Walmart skateboards for kids.

    [ad_1]

    Tags: wtf

    2113 points, 186 comments.

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Time for Oracle

    Time for Oracle

    [ad_1]

    Many a time, we’ve seen a program reach out into the database for date times. It’s annoying to see, but not entirely stupid- if you can’t rely on your web servers having synchronized clocks, the centralized database may very well be the only place you can get a reliable date/time value from. This ends up meaning you get a lot of date formatting happening in the database, but again- if it’s the only reliable clock, you can’t do better.

    Unless you aren’t even looking at a clock. Mendel sends us this C#:

    string edi_error_transmit_date_s = "to_date(substr('" + datetime.InnerText + "',1,19),'yyyy-mm-dd"T"hh24:mi:ss')";
    
    string comment_txt_s = "'Failure : time out = '||to_char(" + edi_error_transmit_date_s + ",'dd-mon-yyyy hh24:mi:ss')'";
    

    datetime.InnerText is a user input field- a user entered this date. The rest of the expression is an Oracle SQL expression, and as you can see, we’re slowly building up a query through string concatenation of user provided inputs. Say hello to SQL injection, but obviously it’d make much more sense to use the build-in C# functions than do this.

    Based on personal experience, I wonder if this person ends up in a similar position I was, once upon a time. Many years ago, I worked at a place that had pretty strict deployment processes for getting code promoted to even test application servers, but no one had any rules about how code got promoted to database environments. In fact, I could log into the production database and make changes to my heart’s content (yes, terrifying, I know). But the result is that our web code was a thin wrapper around database code, because the more work I did in the database, the more I could iterate and deliver new features without having to go through any bureaucratic checkpoints.

    The result was code that was a lot of “just call into the database to do real work”, though I mostly did this through stored procedures, and definitely didn’t munge together strings for SQL injection attacks.

    [Advertisement]
    BuildMaster allows you to create a self-service release management platform that allows different teams to manage their applications. Explore how!

    [ad_2]

    Remy Porter

    Source link

  • Grandfather’s Eyes Light Up While Describing Memories Of Old Country Buffet

    Grandfather’s Eyes Light Up While Describing Memories Of Old Country Buffet

    [ad_1]

    ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, IL—Describing the serene smile that spread across the 87-year-old’s face, sources reported that local grandfather Murray Lowe’s eyes lit up Wednesday as he recalled his halcyon days as a regular at his town’s Old Country Buffet. “There was a sparkle in his eyes as he talked of all the good times he had back then, when he was younger and hungrier and always grabbing a fresh plate to go back through the line at his favorite all-you-can-eat chain,” Lowe’s granddaughter Kelly Williams said during a visit to his assisted-living facility, reportedly becoming emotional as her grandfather reminisced about his old haunt and the trays piled high with boil-in-a-bag macaroni and cheese, green beans, and mashed potatoes. “He’s never opened up about it before, probably because of how painful it must be knowing those days are gone forever. But today it was like he went back in time, feeling the warmth of the steam trays and the heat lamps as he stood in line for another serving of dried-out pot roast or fried chicken. I could almost see the buffet-goer he used to be, marveling with his head cocked upward at a mountain of wet coleslaw, and beaming with pride at the opportunity to provide us grandkids with limitless soft-serve ice cream. I think a part of him may still be there, you know?” Williams added that her grandfather later asked her to cut his prime rib extra thick and “pour a little bit of the beef juice on there if [she] wouldn’t mind,” having apparently mistaken her for an employee working the buffet’s carving station.

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • JonBenét Ramsey’s Father, 80, Blasts Cop’s “Disgusting” Comment After Pushing To Reopen Case

    JonBenét Ramsey’s Father, 80, Blasts Cop’s “Disgusting” Comment After Pushing To Reopen Case

    [ad_1]

    John Ramsey, the father of the slain six-year-old JonBenét Ramsey, says police are waiting for him to die so they can forget about his daughter’s murder case.

    In 1996, JonBenét was found dead with a garrote around her neck in the basement of her family’s home. An autopsy by the Boulder City Medical Examiner determined that the girl had been beaten and strangled to death and had an eight 1/2-inch (22 cm) fracture on her skull.

    Highlights

    • John Ramsey has accused the police of waiting for him to pass away so they can forget about JonBenét’s murder case.
    • Six-year-old JonBenét was beaten and strangled to death in the basement of her family’s home in 1996.
    • Ramsey calls for FBI to handle case and independent DNA testing on unexamined evidence.

    Ramsey and his late wife, Patsy, were initially named suspects of the crime based on probable cause, but they were ultimately found innocent.

    Now, the grieving father alleges that authorities in Boulder, Colorado, have no interest in finding the killer.

    Image credits: crimecon

    “We heard, reliably, that one of the members of the police department — I don’t know who—told a journalist, ‘We’re just waiting for John Ramsey to die,’” the 80-year-old told Fox News Digital in a May 31 interview at CrimeCon, a true-crime convention held in Nashville, Tennessee. 

    “And the implication is: then pressure will be off, and all this will go away.

    “It’s just disgusting, but it’s not out of character at all.”

    Paula Woodward, an investigative journalist who has been covering the murder since the 1990s, reportedly confirmed hearing these comments from an officer at the Boulder Police Department.

    In 1996, JonBenét was found dead with a garrote around her neck in the basement of her family’s home in Boulder, Colorado

    Image credits: crimecon

    Ramsey says he hasn’t given up on living the day when justice is served for his daughter. 

    “I’m not going to die. Well, I’m going to be around for a good while.”

    When he’s no longer around, his son, John Andrew Ramsey, will “take over” and continue to push for answers.

    “He’s very passionate about getting this resolved, and I’m grateful for that.”

    Ramsey aims for the case to be handed to the FBI and for an independent forensic genetic genealogy company to conduct DNA testing to analyze the items in his daughter’s case that weren’t examined before.

    Among these items are a pair of JonBenét’s underwear that tested positive for traces of an unknown male’s DNA in 1997, the garrote found around the girl’s neck, a suitcase found in the basement that police believe the murderer stepped on to escape out a window, and a ransom note found in the victim’s home on the morning of the crime, Woodward said at CrimeCon.

    “As far as we know, these items have never been tested,” the 80-year-old added.

    “They were taken from the crime scene as possible evidence. We want them tested, and we want them tested by an outside lab for DNA sampling. To my knowledge, that’s never happened.”

    “It’s just disgusting, but it’s not out of character at all,” the 80-year-old father said of the police officer’s comment

    Image credits: Fox

    The Boulder Police Department told The Independent in December 2023 that the “active investigation continues to receive assistance from federal, state, and local partners.”

    The previous year, it announced that it would be consulting the Colorado Cold Case Review Team, a Board under the Colorado Department of Public Safety, for help with the homicide investigation.

    Furthermore, BPD stated that it has “digitized all evidence,” including thousands of interviews conducted across 17 states, identification samples from 200 people, and 2,500 pieces of evidence.

    In a press release shared in December 2023, Boulder police mentioned that they’re waiting for “proven and validated technology” to become available to solve the case.

    “DNA testing continues to be an investigative focal point. DNA testing was previously completed, but the science behind DNA testing continues to rapidly evolve.

    “The Boulder Police Department is working with leading DNA experts from across the county to ensure the latest forensic techniques are used to analyze remaining DNA samples. 

    “The evidence has been preserved and will continue to be ready for testing when there is proven and validated technology that can accurately test forensic samples consistent with the evidence available in this case.”

    Colorado Governor Jared Polis also believes the crime will be solved with modern DNA technology. In 2022, he told CBS: “I can say one thing. The killer of JonBenét Ramsey should not rest easy because I am still optimistic that he or she will be apprehended with technology that exists today, in five years, or ten years.”

    Anyone with information related to this investigation is asked to contact authorities at 303-441-1974 or by email at BouldersMostWanted@bouldercolorado.gov.

    “Good for you, John. Don’t give up,” an X user commented

    [ad_2] Ugnė Lazauskaitė
    Source link

  • Funny And Weird Animal Hybrids Bred In Photoshop

    Funny And Weird Animal Hybrids Bred In Photoshop

    [ad_1]

    There are lots of people with too much free time. One such group of individuals can be found at r/HybridAnimals subreddit where they spend countless hours mixing together various animals via the magic of Photoshop. Scroll down to check out our favorites!

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    Animal hybrid.

    [ad_2]

    liver

    Source link

  • Maximizing Code Quality

    Maximizing Code Quality

    [ad_1]

    One of the nice things about Git is that it makes it very easy for us to learn the steps that went into a WTF. It doesn’t mean it explains the WTF, as many are just inexplicable, but it’s at least something.

    Like this example, from Aoife.

    The JavaScript started like this:

    function getData(deviceId) {
        return this.storage.loadSomeData(userId)
    }
    

    The function was committed in this state, and remained unchanged for six years. The astute reader may have noticed the problem: the function takes a parameter called deviceId, but references a value called userId, which is not defined here. This is bad, and means this code doesn’t work as it’s supposed to, so after six years, someone finally decided to fix it.

    function getData(deviceId) {
        
        return this.storage.loadSomeData(userId)
    }
    

    There we are, all better. The function still doesn’t work, but at least the linter doesn’t yell at us anymore.

    Of course, there remains a huge, obvious problem with this function, so two years later, someone made a new commit:

    function getData(deviceId) {
        
        return this.storage.loadSomeData(userId);
    }
    

    Finally, the big problem has been fixed: that missing semicolon.

    [Advertisement]
    Otter – Provision your servers automatically without ever needing to log-in to a command prompt. Get started today!

    [ad_2]

    Remy Porter

    Source link

  • Captions added to prevent confusion

    Captions added to prevent confusion

    [ad_1]

    Tags: funny, meme

    4439 points, 343 comments.

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Dad Jokes Meme: I See a Bright Future For This Couple

    Dad Jokes Meme: I See a Bright Future For This Couple

    [ad_1]

    Here’s another joke she may benefit from: What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac? This literallist takes things literally, and the kleptomaniac takes things, literally.

    The post Dad Jokes Meme: I See a Bright Future For This Couple first appeared on Crazy Funny Pictures.

    [ad_2]

    liver

    Source link

  • 69 Top-Notch Memes From The “Emotional Club” Instagram Account (New Pics)

    69 Top-Notch Memes From The “Emotional Club” Instagram Account (New Pics)

    [ad_1]

    Happy hormone-based content has exploded in recent years online. Memes about therapy, mental health, and relatable topics now often offer a “crumb” of serotonin for those who desperately need to make it through the day. Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with having an innocent pick-me-up when motivation plummets, and when it’s easily available, it’s even better. 

    If you need a refresher or a drop of that happiness elixir, you don’t have to look far – it’s right here. Courtesy of the Instagram account “Emotional Club,” we present you with a list of the most relatable memes that are guaranteed to cheer you up or at the very least make you feel understood. To find them, all you have to do is scroll down and enjoy.

    [ad_2] Ieva Pečiulytė
    Source link