KONOTOP, Ukraine – (Satire News) – British reporter Tango Brisket with The Twickenham Times-Telegram reports that England’s 707th Queen’s Elite Infantry Regiment showed itself as being not very elite.
Brisket who is embedded with the famed regiment reported that a regiment of Russian volunteers soundly defeated the Brits at the Battle of Konotop.
He added that the battle was a hard-fought one, but when the dust settled, the Russian Commies had been victorious.
Reports coming out of Buckingham Palace, state that King Charles III, is extremely disappointed and bloomingly angry about the loss, and he will be recalling the 707th’s commander, Field Marshal Throckmorton “Throcky” Dishadilly back to the UK for a 4-star questioning investigation.
Meanwhile In Other News From Great Britain: English meteorologists are reporting that the fog in Twickenham was so bad that 99.3% of the town’s birds have flown to Teddington.