Aunt backed for not wanting to babysit niece on day off

An aunt has been backed for not wanting to spend her only day off babysitting her niece despite agreeing to it.

The Mumsnet user, who goes by the name corbiere92, wrote that her maternity leave is ending and that she has agreed to look after her 2-year-old niece on her only day off.

Data website Priceonomics analyzed 175,000 or more online babysitter profiles from the largest cities in the U.S. and found the median price for a babysitter is $14.50 per hour and parents can expect to pay $17.50 in New York and San Francisco.

More than 230 people have voted on the post, and 76 percent have said, “you are not being unreasonable.”

The Mumsnet user wrote: “I know childcare costs are pricey etc but now it’s getting closer I’m really regretting agreeing to it, I have enjoyed MAT leave and spending time with my little one and I know I won’t get to give him the same focus and attention with my niece to care for too but I don’t want to upset the family.”

London-based psychologist and founder of City Hypnosis Aaron Surtees told Newsweek: “There are a few factors at play here, which ultimately comes down to not being self-assertive enough and the urge to avoid any confrontation or a conflict with a family member. Trying to untangle a problem of this nature can be stressful and cause anxiety which will exaggerate the issue in the mind even further.

“It appears, in this scenario, the anticipation is causing most of the anxiety and not the acton itself, yet, which is in the future. On a psychological level, they might have felt a lack of control in the situation because there were no boundaries in place and they reluctantly agreed to the childcare.

“Confidence, self-respect and recognizing your limits are key to setting personal boundaries, but they must be stuck to in order for them to work. Otherwise, you will forever be at the mercy of others. How you spend your time and energy should be decided by you not anyone else.”

“Boundary setting creates a comfort zone, but creating them can be uncomfortable initially. It can be a natural process to feel a sense of selfishness or guilt and thus reluctantly agree to things because you don’t want to feel rejected by the other family member. I would advise facing this head-on and not delaying the conversation as the other family member will need time to make other arrangements for their own child. It is however essential to be kind and talk things out. The other person will likely be understanding.”

“The worst thing you can do is participate in any family gossip or come across as too selfish, as this could backfire.

“Going forward, stick to your boundaries and with practice, others will learn on a subconscious level, what you are and aren’t comfortable with.
Do put your needs first and learn to say no in the future to avoid being in the situation again. Boundaries are healthy and steps must be in place to boost one’s confidence and empowerment.”

There seems to be a mixture of opinions in the comments, one user said: “I can’t imagine why you’d agree to this but, as you have, I suggest you do it for a few weeks, then tell them it’s not working and give them til January to make alternative arrangements.”

Another wrote: “Not unreasonable to make that decision, but very unreasonable if you’re going back to work soon. It takes months to arrange childcare around me (and in the area were moving to) so you could really be leaving her in the lurch.”

“It’s completely your choice, if you’ve changed your mind then that’s allowed but I personally would feel awful to have that conversation after agreeing. I did the same for my nephew. There are 20 months between them and the age gap was not a problem at all and they became great little mates.

“It was lovely company for mine and didn’t make any difference to our routine with an extra child, if anything made me get them out more. I’ve got lovely memories of that time the 3 of us walking around the local parks and those 2 playing together,” said another.

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.