Attachment theory is a psychological theory that categorizes the ways people emotionally bond with others in their lives. According to attachment theory, these bonds are a product of either secure attachment or insecure attachment. Insecure attachment is further divided into three categories: anxious, avoidant, and disorganized.
Understanding the different attachment styles is important when discussing how you trust, interact with, and relate to other people. Though attachment style often develops during infancy, it influences meaningful relationships throughout your entire life. Learn more with this brief introduction to different attachment styles.
Secure Attachment
Secure attachment stems from and results in healthy relationships that involve honest communication, dependability, trust, and emotional intimacy. People with a secure attachment style are self-assured, reliable, and honest communicators in their relationships. They’re also comfortable with independence and being on their own.
Anxious Attachment
Anxious attachment—also known as ambivalent or preoccupied attachment—often occurs in individuals who have a negative view of themselves that results in a fear of being alone. People with an anxious attachment style are anxious, sensitive, and often fear abandonment and rejection. To avoid these fears coming true, they seek constant reassurance or support from the other person in the relationship. This can lead to needy, clingy, or desperate behavior.
Avoidant Attachment
An avoidant attachment style often results in a need for strict independence and a lack of emotional intimacy. Individuals with an avoidant attachment style usually prefer hiding or stifling emotions over being honest and vulnerable with others. They avoid depending on others or having others depend on them. Though people with an avoidant attachment style often have high self-esteem, their need for self-sufficiency can lead to loneliness and isolation.
Disorganized Attachment
Disorganized attachment is less predictable than other attachment styles. Adults with a disorganized attachment style often experience contradicting desires and emotions; they crave intimacy but fear vulnerability. This can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors that harm relationships before strong emotional bonds have a chance to develop. Disorganized attachment often comes with anxiety, a fear of trusting others, and difficulty expressing emotions honestly.
Managing Attachment Issues
Individuals with insecure attachment styles often face challenges in platonic or romantic relationships. Fortunately, attachment issues don’t have to be a lifelong burden. Working with a mental health professional can help you better understand where your attachment style comes from and how it affects your relationships. Psychoanalysis-based mental health treatments give you the tools you need to overcome attachment challenges.
Learning about the different attachment styles is the first step toward helping yourself become a more confident, open, and responsive person in your relationships. With this knowledge, you can forge healthier, more fulfilling relationships throughout your life.
