WALTERBORO, South Carolina – (Satire News) – In a highly publicized trail, Dick Alexander Murdaugh, who looks like he could be Trump’s illegitimate cousin Niles Fausto Trump, will be spending the next 707 years in a cold, damp, cell at Sing Sing Federal Prison.
Murdaugh was convicted of colluding with China, Russia, North Korea, and Pisagovia in an attempt to bomb The Statue of Liberty, The Golden Gate Bridge, The Hollywood Walk of Fame, Lake Michigan, The La Brea Tar Pits, and The Grand Canyon (?).
The former South Carolina divorce attorney, who is nicknamed “The Albino Asshole” has an uncanny resemblance to old “Baby Fingers” Trump, except that Trump is a no good, scum sucking, lying bastard, Trump is a fucked up pussy grabber, and Trump is a piece of female rodent shit.
Meanwhile “The Orange Blimp” (i.e. Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump) told his only friend at Fox, Greg “The Swamp Monster” Gutfeld that he does not know Murdaugh and he would not know him from Stormy Daniels, who has a set of tits on her that will not fucking quit.
Meanwhile, Murdaugh’s attorney Sally “The Objectionary Bitch,” did comment that if Alex becomes a model prisoner, he could get paroled in 282 years.
