The Amalgated Data Gathering Agency has just broken the story that one of the Taliban’s most diabolical terrorists has been spotted at a Jack-in-The-Box.
Riff Shaker Goo, the notorious Taliban hitman, was seen casually sitting in a booth inside the Jack restaurant, blending in like the chameleon of chaos he is.
Witnesses gaped in disbelief as they watched the nefarious figure devour a Diet Chicken Fajigta Pita, accompanied by a serving of Jack Fries and a Diet Dr. Pepper, for that touch of “health-conscious terrorism.”
Decked out in a bewildering ensemble, Riff Shaker Goo flaunted his fashion choices: a New York Yankees baseball cap, a New York Jets T-shirt, and Tony Lama Cowboy Boots—because every terrorist needs a touch of panache.
But it wasn’t just his outfit that drew attention. A fellow diner, seated across from this Taliban troublemaker, had the misfortune of encountering an overwhelming stench of camel emanating from the infamous terrorist.
In a valiant attempt to restore order, the manager bravely dialed 911. However, with lightning speed, Riff Shaker Goo swiftly leaped into his blazing orange Lamborghini, flew out of the parking lot unleashing a torrential surge of speed, stripping an elderly octogenarian couple to their underwear, like something out of a Road Runner cartoon!