A Disaster Preparedness Guide for CenterPoint

Every year around the first week of June when hurricane season officially opens, we are all reminded repeatedly to begin our hurricane preparations. The laundry list of purchases and things we must do, particularly homeowners, is ubiquitous in local media. And, frankly, many of us go through the annual tradition with a kind of bland recognition of our responsibilities, like that guy in the old Dunkin’ Donuts commercial.

But this week has many of us wondering, why, if we are required to be so damn prepared, was the company that manages all the city’s power not? We know this was a mess, a direct hit from a hurricane (something we haven’t seen in quite a while), but that’s why they call it preparedness. You do it before there is a problem. Maybe CenterPoint needs a primer or how to be ready for a storm, a checklist of sorts, like the ones everyone gives us regular folks once a year.

So, instead of everyone telling us to buy water, fill up on gas and keep our trees trimmed, here’s a list that will maybe help keep you guys from screwing this up so badly next time.

Charge up your technology.

One of the keys to surviving after a hurricane or other natural disaster is to have access to your electronic devices. You can make emergency calls, check the status of storms and communicate with service providers like power companies, for example. For you, CenterPoint, this means actually having technology that functions well ahead of time. Your service outage tracker, which crapped out after the derecho, looks more like something a third grader did with a finger painting app than what a multi-billion-dollar company rolls out as a way for its customers to find out when they might be able to watch Netflix again. Figure it out.

Trim your trees.

This is one of the more galling requests every year. Homeowners are told to trim their trees to keep them healthy during the rain and wind of typical Gulf Coast summer weather. There are even suggestions that we need to keep limbs from power lines to prevent serious problems. But given that the power lines are YOUR responsibility, shouldn’t you handle most of that heavy lifting? Clearly, the city’s lush vegetation is one of biggest problems when storms come a’callin’. Many tree services won’t go near limbs around power lines because (why is that again?) you explicitly tell people not to go near them. Oh, and by the way, it’s really freaking expensive. Time to start doing your lawn maintenance in the spring like the rest of us.

Have a plan.

We are informed it is important to have an evacuation plan if we live in an area prone to flooding or surge. Make sure we have days worth of medicine, plenty of gas for our cars, a place to stay. Well, your turn. Instead of calling on the help of thousands of crews from around the state (and neighboring states) WHEN something happens, how about getting those plans in place BEFORE it does? We had crews of linemen, the real heroes, staged but unable to do anything because of contract issues, others sitting around waiting for instructions. What kind of shoddy emergency plan is that? Be better, man.

Communicate with your neighbors.

Houston residents are resilient because of our neighbors, the one’s that live literally next door and the one’s who live in the region. Disaster planners suggest we stay in good contact with our family, friends and neighbors as disasters unfold so we can help take care of one another. Like so many companies, you claim to be a part of the Houston family, but when we needed you most, you pretended you’d never met us before and looked like Ted Cruz caught at the airport on his way to Cancun.

Hours, days even, without updates or critical communication about what was going on is unacceptable when your neighbors are suffering. Even if you cannot get the power on as quickly as we all would like, the silence is absolutely deafening and completely unforgivable.

Realize where you live.

Every year we are told we have to just brace for impact when it comes to hurricane season because we chose to live along the Gulf Coast (no word on what we are supposed to do about freezing in the winter, however). Well, guess what, CenterPoint, you live here too. You’ve taken the great responsibility of being one of just a handful of energy services and systems providers in the region, yet you behave like you are built for some tranquil paradise, not the eye of a damn hurricane.

Yes, it is expensive to consider mitigating factors to make keeping lights on more realistic like burying power lines and keeping foliage at bay. Ask us about our roofs and our flood insurance and our homeowners insurance and our backup generators and our battery-powered lamps and fans. We know all about preparedness. We shouldn’t have to school our energy provider on such basics of life in Houston.

Have a disaster relief fund for yourself.

Maybe the most humiliating kick in the crotch (to borrow a phrase from The Police) is the fact that after all of this is over and we have our power back, we, the people most harmed by all this will be the ones footing the bill. Your CEO admitted as much. Same thing during the freeze. What kind of BS is that? We have to set aside an emergency fund (if we are able) to protect against these kinds of surprise problems.

Maybe, instead of increasing your executive pay and investing in stock buybacks, you might want to set aside a rainy-day fund for moments just like this. You would be hailed as heroes instead of cursed as villains. You are our only source of our power infrastructure. We pay you a LOT to keep it up and running. Should we be forced to pay for your failings simply because you don’t know how to manage your investments? Get a bigger piggy bank.