LA BREA, California – (Spoof News) – A wildfire that was sparked by a bolt of lightning has already burned 600 acres and is fast approaching the world-famous La Brea Tar Pits, home to the world-renowned La Brea Tar Pits Diner.
LA Channel 701 reports that the fire is being fed by the dreaded Santa Ana Winds as well as the monumental Montezuma’s Revenge Gusts.
These powerful winds and gusts have been known to pick up a fully loaded Ford F-150 Truck and toss it around as if it were a kid’s hot wheels toy.
The Santa Ana Winds are so powerful that they could easily pick up overweight women like Ginni Thomas, Madonna, and Gov. Sarah Huckabee as if they were mere potato chips.
The vice-mayor of La Brea Consuelo Oso-Mintwater has said that volunteer firefighters are coming in from Arizona, Nevada, Massachusetts, and Peru.