[EP34] Law of Polarity in Relationships

Transcript

Natasha: Welcome back to another episode of The Awakened Wife podcast. I’m Natasha Koo.

Jachym: And I’m Jachym Jerie, and we are from your exceptional relationship.com.

Natasha: Today we’re going to be talking about the law of polarity in relationships. So we’re talking about the masculine and the feminine polarity and energies. And just so you know, we’re not really talking about genders here, it doesn’t have to be typical, you know, heterosexual wife and husband type of relationship, it can be homosexual, it can be between, like any individuals, because masculine and feminine energies are both within us. But we’re going to, I guess, speak in this he and she kind of way because it’s the experience of him and I and it’s just easiest to not mix all these pronouns around. So for today know that it can apply for any of your marriages and relationships, no matter what genders you are, and, or identify with, but I just wanted to get that out there. And let’s get started.

Jachym: All right, I think that’s a good point. So it’s important to note that, you know, whenever we are saying he, we’re referring to the masculine energy, when we’re referring to she, we’re referring to the feminine energy. And I can step into the feminine energy, and Natasha can step into the masculine energy and vice versa. And there can be even relationships where, for the woman, she’s much more comfortable or at home in the masculine energy, and the man is much more comfortable in the feminine energy. But for a vast majority of relationships, it usually overlaps with gender. And that’s almost more comfortable with one of the energies. And that’s what we call that this person has a more masculine essence or a more feminine essence, right? Now, what is polarity in relationships? Like, what does that even mean? And what it means is that we are referring, to attraction, right? 

When you see two magnets, and you have that and you put them together, they are attracting each other, right. And that is the polarity in relationships, and you can see that their well being played out when you’re dating, right, and the man is courting you, there is a certain dance and a certain chemistry that is being displayed in the dating game. And as you go into a long-term relationship, that chemistry can fade. Now part of that chemistry is driven by hormones, and you know, how we are designed. So that’s why we call it the honeymoon phase. And part of it is driven by also acknowledging and respecting that there’s a masculine that there’s a feminine and that we play a role in each of you know, of those poles. When I step into the masking, I play a certain role and when Natasha steps into her feminine, she plays a certain role. Now, why do we want polarity in a relationship? Right? 

Why is it important to have that because when you are in a long-term relationship, and you don’t maintain the polarity, you’re eventually losing the attraction, you’re losing the spark that was in their relationship, and you start to become more like best friends, right? There’s not much difference anymore and more like roommates. And, and you don’t feel the attraction and the energy between the two of you you effectively really feeling depolarized. And being in a space where you feel depolarized is not something that is rejuvenating, it is not something that gives you this alive in us that you usually feel when you’re with the opposite sex and there’s attraction, right. And that is why the polarity is so vital because he can literally make a huge difference in the relationship. And so cultivating a masculine-feminine pole in a relationship can be incredibly healing, rejuvenating, and something that really does fresh energy into the relationship. And then Tasha and I actually have experienced that.

Natasha: For me, I think keeping this polarity or for some, you know, when you’ve completely lost it so you kind of have to regain it, reconnect to this polarity within your relationship. Once you have it again or once you strengthen this deep connection where the polarity is there between you and your partner. You completely shift away from I guess, how do you also operate outside of your home, okay, so who you are being in In a workplace who you are as a friend who you are as a daughter, or mother, that is you outside the context of your home and outside the context of your relationship. Because once you have this polarity, at least for me, my personal experience is that I can actually let go so much more because life is constantly asking me to do stuff, there’s things to get done to manage to upkeep and things like that, right? 

And, and that is the reality of the majority of aspects of our lives. But when it comes to keeping this beautiful polarity between you and your partner, once you have that masculine and feminine balance that feels right, right, so I settle into a deeply feminine presence, I let go, I feel held, I can surrender, I can follow your lead, I can enjoy whatever he wants to provide for me, I can de-stress, like, all of these things, is is really wonderful. And I’m able to enjoy that because Jachym’s fully stepping into his masculine. And outside of this relationship, I would say that maybe no one out there in the world is able to hold me the way that he or him does. And rightly so because it takes so much presence and love and energy to truly kind of show up in this way. Right. 

So I guess the closest thing that I can imagine, this being would be if you worked with like a coach, where they just held you in this safe space so that you could be you could unravel, you could solve different traumas and overcome things and dive to the depths of your emotions, that is the only comparable thing that I can compare being in the presence of the masculine with where you’re so held, and you’re so safe, and you’re completely okay to be who you are, and to bring whatever you need to onto the table. Because a lot of times we I guess hold ourselves to a certain standard of who we need to be and how we need to show up for other people. And for me, being feminine means that I can just be me, however, I am. Whether it’s broken, stressed, crazy, emotional, or just feeling great. I can be all that I can express all that in the presence of Jachym’s masculine energy. 

So for me, it’s actually extremely deeply healing. And it allows me to connect to a part of myself that that might be harder for me to access just on my own. Because, you know, I’m getting things done. Life is so practical. So this is the time or the moment where, you know, we’re able to enjoy this enjoy this polarity. And I think when we do step into it, Jachym is being his best self. Like, I’m trusting him so much. He’s holding me so much. And I’m letting go so much. So yes, there’s love And yes, there’s intimacy. And yes, there’s a connection. But this dynamic, right, this polarity, when we show up in this way, it deepens everything that we have, and it allows us or transports us to a place where we can be that powerful self. And that powerful self might not be the typical strength that you imagine but isn’t more of a strength and power of vulnerability. And just two souls coming together. Right? It’s just a pure connection. 

And I think a lot of the stories can fall away of who you need to be what he said yesterday, what he owes you, what you did before the tour is that like all of those, you know, scorekeeping within your relationship, all those stories of how he should be how, who you need to be, all of those things can actually fall away. So when you’re living and being in this beautiful polarity, what happens is that you’re just meeting each other in a very pure state. And you don’t get caught up in the drama of life, or the drama of your relationship and the turmoil or the problems that you’re facing, you can actually be very vulnerably and honestly together, and for me, it’s the most wonderful thing, the most healing thing that anyone can do for me, and at the same time, in a certain way. Jachym is the only one who can provide for me, because I have such deep trust in him, right, such deep trust and respect. And I’m willing, and I’m happy to surrender and I’m happy to let go in his presence because I know that I’ll be safe. 

And so this is I guess, through so many years and our practice and everything that we teach within the Cherished Wife Program within exceptional relationship. This is the place that we’ve reached ourselves, right? In the past, we had little bits and moments of this, but, you know, now we actually can, is very, very palpable, it’s something real within our relationship. And we know we can always access that. And unfortunately, for so many marriages, and so many couples out there, you do not realize that there is this potential that you can tap into this polarity that could always be here, between you and your partner. And not only that you don’t know that exists, and you haven’t experienced it, and you don’t know how to get there. And so that’s why, you know, one of the reasons why we have the Cherished Wife Program is to help women tap into, okay, how do you get inside your man’s brain? 

How does he actually work? And how can you have harmonious love without all the bickering and other conflicts in our arguments getting in the way? And how do you unleash your inner goddess, these are the three main pillars that we teach within the program so that you can actually let go when it’s time to because he’s there showing up for you, right. And so these three pieces are just so fundamental for this polarity, to even truly be experienced within your relationship. Otherwise, it’s all in theory. And when it’s time to actually surrender and be vulnerable, and be in that place and experience that wonderful feeling with your partner. You can’t, you can’t, because there’s still stuff unresolved within your relationship. And you can’t go there with each other, right? 

So if you want to tap into the polarity within your relationship, if what I just described sounds really amazing, you’ve really missed it, or you’ve never had it with your partner. And you’re like, yes, that’s exactly what I need. But what do I do there, make sure to check out your exceptional relationship.com for slash cherished, that’s the breakdown of our coaching program. And that where we’ll show you exactly what you need to how you need to repair your relationship, the steps you need to take so that you can rekindle this, you can rekindle this, he can step into this beautiful polarity, which truly Yakima and I just wish that every single couple can actually experience on a daily basis, this instead of the fights and all those arguments and things that just don’t matter, right, that tear you apart. So just coming together, that’s what the polarity in the relationship really does.

Jachym: Now, I think it’s important, to mention that you don’t have to be 24 seven, within a polarized relationship, you can still like we run a business together, we have a kid together. And so there are practical matters where we both have to step into our masculine energy and need to go and get things done. Right. And then and at that moment, we are not playing in that polarity, necessarily, we are just getting things done for practical life. However, there is space for the polarity to unfold and to rejuvenate us again. Okay, so it’s important to not over idealize this idea of polarity, and think that you have to be 24 seven in it. If you have a similar life to what we are leading, then that’s most likely not practical. 

But if you’re in a relationship where you don’t have cash, you don’t run a business together, you can have that every time you come together. Because you can spend time apart where you can, you know, step more into masculine energy as a female, or for the math to step more into his feminine. And you can also learn to switch between those poles, you don’t have to always demand to be the masculine won’t be the feminine, you can learn to have a fluid dynamic within the relationship. And that’s actually in my opinion, the most healthy version. Because if you’re trying to just stick to one pole and deny yourself to go into the other pole, it becomes an ideology and you trap yourself, you trap yourself in what’s possible and how you can express yourself rather than being fully yourself at the moment. 

And being able to go through the whole range of possibilities of being with your partner. And then it becomes stunting in some way, at least is our experience. So what gets in the way of maintaining polarity. Well, Natasha mentioned a few already, she mentioned that people will know about this in the very first place that we have an image in our head, thinking that poor that long-term relationships simply are going to dwindle. The spark is eventually going to get lost. You know the old couple that just bickering and all of that. And so we think this is just a fate of a relationship when we don’t think that there’s something else that’s possible within the relationship. So that is one thing that gets it gets in the way of maintaining polarity. 

The second thing is is that we are often called to spend a lot of time together. And they don’t take time to cultivate consciously their masculine or feminine essence. And when you don’t cultivate it, you’re more likely to depolarize because you’re continuously being together, right. So spending time apart, where you’re dedicating a practice to where it’s more of your masculine side or your feminine side, can definitely help to maintain this kind of polarity in the relationship. And then when you come together, you are coming from a fresh place, okay? Now sometimes this is difficult if you’re having a similar life, like ours, because even then you can make space for maintaining polarity within your relationship. And it can be as little and as small as just having a moment in the day where you consciously step in your feminine and your man steps constantly into your masculine just for two minutes, you know, and you’re spending this time together, and just that can make a difference in your life, okay? 

So keep in mind that, in the beginning, when you are learning about polarity, it takes some practice to learn about it, and to start embodying it, it is not something that you can that you just hear, and then suddenly, a switch is being flipped, and you’re forever. In this polarity knows, you have your own wounds, your own difficulties, where you are actually going to step more into your masculine because you’re uncomfortable in your feminine polarity, which is another reason why polarity can get lost is because we are not addressing those wounds within us that are contributing to us going into the opposite direction of becoming more masculine, and then the man becoming more feminine, which can lead to him being more like a boy, right. And so that’s why in the Cherished Wife Program, as Natasha mentioned, we have the unleash your inner goddess part where we are helping you to heal those wounds to address and become conscious of them to see how they are playing out in your relationship, how that patterns play out with your partner, and to take the energy away from that pattern by healing yourself, right. 

Because when you’re not afraid anymore to go there and to be in your feminine energy in that space, then you’re not going to have the same reaction as before. And when you don’t have the same reaction, you’re not doing the same dance, right? Things become different. And that’s always the case, which is why working with one person can change the entire relationship dynamic. Because the dynamic is, as the Word says, is the dynamic between two people. So one, one part who’s holding on to that dynamic changes the other time that the other part can’t do the same thing anymore, right? So that’s something that’s really important. Now, I do want to bring up as well, that when we’re talking about polarity in relationships, you may think, well, I still don’t quite get it. I mean, what are you guys talking about? And I just want to and I know this is a bit geeky, it is going to help because when you are when we are talking about an experience, right, you are going to use words to describe this experience. And you’re going these words mean something to you, right. 

And so when we are talking about polarity, we are talking about an experience that you can have with your partner. And the experience includes that you are feeling attraction towards your partner that you feel held like Natasha was saying like you can really listen to what intact set and that is an experience. And that is what we are referring to as polarity in a relationship, right? So sometimes we can lose sight of that. And we think, well, polarity in a relationship, that’s something that I can just see. And you know, analyze, but it’s not really like that it is more pointing to an experience that we’re using this word for and you can be depolarized which Natasha and I have been, and you can be polarized. Now the funny thing is that when we learned about polarity, and we started to practice it, it just felt natural. Like it actually felt natural to us. 

Both of us felt it to be easier to do than the other one. And so the other thing that gets in the way of people doing or living out this polarity is this whole political correctness that’s being displayed in the current environment that we are in where we think we have to be equal. And by equal meaning, well, I have to be 50% in my feminine and 50% in my masculine and the same, you need to be the same thing and so everything is equal, but when everything is equal, there is no polarity. Right. And that’s always the danger with having ideologies and ideas that we then have to adhere to. And so when you drop these ideas, and you just allow yourself to feel and come to what feeling right to you, you can then actually discover that polarity is not something that is somehow bad, or that’s not good for you, it actually feels very natural to you. 

When you drop the fears, which is why we always talk about love versus for you either align yourself towards love or towards fear, when you’re dropping the fear, letting go, letting your man lead you having moments of deep surrender, they are simply natural. And when you do experience those moments of deep surrender, they are incredibly rejuvenating, not just for you, but for your partner as well. And so just put your ideas of who you should be as a modern woman on hold, and just explore what is my heart actually calling for? If I’m totally honest with myself, if I don’t try to uphold an ideology, an idea of what I should be, when I forget about all the stuff that I’ve learned about what a woman is supposed to be doing today, or what choices you should make in terms of career and all of this, when I put everything just everything onto the side? With my man, what do I actually want? And for a lot of women, when you experienced your man stepping up, showing up, it’s like a weight is lifted off your shoulders. So maybe Natasha can explain a little bit more on that.

Natasha: In a way, it’s like, giving your partner that space and giving yourself that space so that you can be in that place where you truly fell in love within the first place. So if you go back to when you used to be dating, you know, in the beginning, you might have been a bit guarded because you weren’t, you weren’t sure. And maybe there’s a bit of the game, the game dating game that came into play. But at a certain point, like love took over, the connection took over. And you couldn’t help but lean into the feeling, right-leaning to the feeling that you can fall for him, and that you are falling for him. And he is falling for you. And in that, there’s such vulnerability. And there is such letting go of who you think you need to be who he needs to be, and you’re just enjoying each other. Right, you’re appreciating you’re enjoying, you’re celebrating each other and you’re in the moment being together. And that that was magic, right? And so no matter where you are in your relationship right now, there were moments of just magic between you two. 

And for Yakima and I, we recommend you to explore and start having more moments throughout your day, or big, big hours of polarity between you and your partner if that’s available to you. So that you can see if you can welcome that magic back in. Because, yeah, maybe the years have passed and you are different people, that’s okay. But how guarded is your heart? Right? How much distrust has formed between you and your partner? And how willing Are you actually to lean into that place where you simply we’re just being together. And when it comes to really enjoying and being and just living and soaking up the polarity between the masculine and feminine and getting the most out of it. It requires to lean into this magic, and you have the ability to do it. 

Okay, you have the ability to do it. Because you did it in the past. It’s just that, you know when the relationship gets more and more stale, or more and more complicated due to conflicts and all that is hard because that’s all that we see. So that’s why Jachym and I are big advocates of not solving your relationship problems. When they are the only thing that you can possibly think about. Because it bothers you at night, it’s hard to sleep, you’re at the gym, you’re on a treadmill, and that’s what you’re thinking about. You’re driving home and that the problem is what you think about, don’t wait until you get to that point, right? 

There are so many wonderful and extremely effective tools that you can apply within your relationships such as maintaining the polarity within your relationship that keeps it healthy and strong. Right. That makes You and your partner, this unit, this powerful unit that is together, where you do face each other. And when you face the world, you’re facing the world in one direction together. So for us, no matter how much hurt and all the bad stuff that Yakima and I have experienced in the past, we know that this is extremely healing. And we know that for many couples, it can be a source of healing for you, too. So I hope that today, we’ve given you like a really quick dive into what it means, at least from my side, what it feels like to be held by the masculine and be feminine. And yeah, it’s raw, it’s scary, and it takes a great deal to trust. But unless you want to dive into that, those steps of your relationship, why the heck are you together? 

Are you together just to fight? Are you just here to argue, are you here just to try to make each other do what you want them to know, you actually want to experience those deep, beautiful, magical moments you once had, where those things didn’t bother you, and you were just being right. And you saw how amazing and great and wonderful he was. And this space, when you bring that polarity in it is like shining a spotlight into the Wonder between you two and then lifting each other up through that beautiful connection and intimacy. And so thanks for joining us today. Next episode, we’re going to be talking, I guess, more into this topic, which is about how do we ignite the sexual polarity within your men? For a lot of husbands out there, this is exactly what he needs and what he’s waiting for. 

Okay, he’s hanging on to you thinking, is it gonna come back, right? Is our intimacy going to come back, and maybe you are the one feeling this way it can be. So if that’s what you need, or you want to keep the sexual polarity between you and your man, then make sure to talk Tune in next week. Otherwise, if you want to take a look at the transcript, or the show notes, and any resources that we mentioned today, then make sure to head over to your exceptional relationship.com four slash 34. The number three for now I just want to end on this note. The majority of relationships and marriages in this world do not have this beautiful, powerful healing, okay, of the polarity between the masculine and feminine. A lot of men are scared to step up and be that for the woman, and a lot of women are so scared to let go and be to the feminine with him. It’s fact Okay, people are so scared to get hurt. Okay, they thought they were naive and delusional. 

And like, yeah, we were stupid back then, when we were dating, like, I had nothing going on in my head, I was just in love. Okay, I understand that. But given your history together, the fact that you’re still together the fact they still want to work on your relationship, it means there’s something you’re still holding on to. And I can say from the bottom of my heart, you’re probably looking to experience the polarity within your relationship with your partner. You want that deep connection again. You might not know it, but your heart yearns for it. Every woman wants this, and every man wants to be there for her woman in this way. So even if your mind is like, What is his polarity? You have felt it. Yeah, it’s that beautiful magic when you fell in love with him. 

And you tapped into it, and you loved it and you fell into his arms and you fell into his life. That’s what I’m talking about. And so this you can have a new relationship, even years later, even despite problems. Okay, that’s what Jachym and I did we repaired our marriage and we can still tap into it today. So know that it’s possible for you and know that you’ve had it before, was a matter of how do you do that, okay. And that’s one of the reasons we have our coaching programs. We work with women one on one because this is real, this is real, and it turns your whole marriage around. And sometimes it can turn your life around. Because you’re able to be that happy. You again, yeah, where you’re not bogged down by all these relationship problems. If you need any help whatsoever, or you have any questions, make sure to head over to your exceptional relationship calm for slash cherished, because we are here for you. And we believe in this so much. And we want every single couple out there to have it again. Yeah. So we’re here for you and until next week, bye.