The NCAA March Madness Rules & Policy Committee has just levied a hefty $40,000 fine on CSU of Valdosta, Georgia.
A spokesperson for March Madness told Buckaroo Kazoo, a writer with The Turnstile Review, that the reason for the fine was because Coach Archie Goobinwax of the CSU Peach Pickers had been warned about his players flipping off opposing players, cheerleaders, and fans in the stands.
While eight of the Peach Picker players swiftly heeded the warning and reluctantly lowered their fingers, forward Odell Paperbox and center Ollie Candycutt continued to proudly flip the bird, much to the amusement of some and the chagrin of others.
Now, thanks to the stubborn antics of Paperbox and Candycutt, Cracker State University finds itself burdened with a gargantuan fine that would make even the richest leprechaun weep with envy.
Meanwhile, the president of CSU, Cyrus Craig Canvas, has said that Paperbox and Candycutt will be sent on a journey of self-discovery and finger-flipping therapy with Dr. Flickerman, a renowned psychologist specializing in unconventional behaviors.
Dr. Flickerman will dive deep into their childhoods, searching for the root causes of their finger-flipping tendencies. From thumb-sucking mishaps to disastrous games of “Rock, Paper, Scissors,” Dr. Flickerman will leave no stone unturned and no Oedipus complex undiagnosed.