DENVER – (Satire News) – Word coming out of the Rocky Mountain State, is that the square-looking state is now importing marijuana from Baja California.
A spokesperson for Gov. Jared Polis, stated that due to last year’s summer drought, and the subsequent fucking fires, the state’s top weed, Durango Bango did not thrive as well as it was expected.
The cannabis shops that did manage to get some DB, priced it at three times what it was selling for last year, and as a result lots of it was simply stolen.
One shop owner said that the grass that is coming in from BC is Baja Beauty, which is 62% more powerful than your normal run-of-the-mill marijuana.
Baja Beauty has been known to cause its smokers to raise their IQ by as much as 27 points, as well as suddenly become experts in astrophysics and quantum mechanics.
According to some female users it can also cause an augmentation in the breasts, as well as cause the nipples to turn shocking pink and stand up like No. 2 pencil erasers.