So, you’ve matched with someone and exchanged a few messages, but how do you make the move from online talk to meeting up in real life? There are no fixed answers and it depends on how comfortable you feel, but here are a few tips to help…
Test the water
Instead of going straight in and asking for a date immediately, have a bit of a chat first. This may last a couple of days or even a few weeks, but it allows you both to test the water a bit before meeting up IRL. You may be champing at the bit to get to the in-person bit, but talking online allows you to get to know each other a bit without it getting too personal too quickly.
Get past the small talk
A bit of initial small talk and banter is good, but at some stage you should try and move past this into slightly more personal territory. Of course you shouldn’t overshare at this stage, but bringing up topics like family will allow you to start to get to past the surface level stuff and start nurturing those first shoots of a relationship.
Try a phone or video call
Seeing someone on screen or hearing their voice will give you an even better sense of who they are, while still allowing you to keep your distance if you’re still not ready to meet in person. And when you are ready, having already spoken with them will mean you won’t feel quite so anxious about making that all important good first impression.
Start small
Don’t make your first real life meet up a long one. A quick coffee at lunch time or early evening will allow you to assess whether or not there’s a spark without committing you to spending hours in each other’s company. If you decide you’d like to see each other again, you can make a plan to do something that takes longer, like go for a meal. Starting small allows you to build trust and interest in each other slowly and thoughtfully.
Practise!
Don’t feel like you have to only stick to only talking to one person on at a time MySingleFriend. Get conversations going with several people and work up to meeting them all. As well as widening the pool of potential partners, it gives you lots of practise in going on first dates. This will translate into confidence, which will make you more attractive than ever.
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Karen Dickinson
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