A rare document from the 1930s, authored by Mao Tse Tung himself, confesses that Mao’s poetry was all stolen from a railroad worker in California named Wally “the Railroad Rider” Slackback.
Wally used to write poems and songs about unfair working practices in America and the formation of unions and holding strikes … this gave Mao a great idea for a new way to rule China with an iron thumb. So he copied some of Wally’s poetry and song lyrics and changed a few words to make them more palatable to the Chinese people … but guilt got to Mao.
He wrote: “I’m such a fake! I can’t believe people are buying this shit! I just tell them what they want to hear and they make me they’re god! God damn, I’m glad I got into politics. Hope no one finds out who Wally was – or I’ma gonna have to kill another 30 million of my own people to erase my past! At least I don’t start wars like those Yankees! When I kill, I kill at home. Hey, that sounds like a good lyric … but gotta change the word kill to, uh, maybe love? Sure, love always sells shit to moron losers. I’m a fucking superstar!”
Ah snap, Mao! No, you di’n’t! Yes he did … a fraud like all the other politicians … now get ready to hear John F. Kennedy’s love poems to Marilyn Monroe, originally written by Willy the Pimp from Philly.