Saturday, 28 January 2023
Are you a former president, or a current one, or maybe you’re a vice president or some kind of person who is given top secret documents, but, by golly, you just don’t know what to do with them.
Sure, you read them, but you don’t care what they say, and the government says you can’t throw them into the fireplace on a cold winter’s night, so what to do? Stash them in a shoebox and tuck them next to your Corvette or maybe hide them under your kid’s bed or maybe next to the minibar where you’re hosting Russian or Chinese diplomats?
Well, here at Hidey Hole Document Vanishing, we can take all your secret or sensitive documents – missile codes, phony tax returns, your wife’s real name and birth certificate and the receipt you got when you bought her from her peasant parents, your membership card to the KKK, all the letters from all your mistresses around the world, a fake doctorate or two … you name it, we can make it disappear.
If, by the slightest chance, that anything gets found before we can make it vanish, we will take full responsibility – that’s right, FULL – for your fuck ups. We’ll say it was from our kid’s video game where we played the Russian side as we bombed America, or whatever excuse we can come up with.
Not to worry, you corrupt bastards, we’ve got your ass … at Hidey Hole.
