Hurricane Ian, The Most Powerful Hurricane In History, Hit The North Pole As a Category 2

THE NORTH POLE – (Satire News) – The US Federation of Weather reports that Hurricane Ian, named after writer Ian Fleming, the writer of the James Bond franchise, pounded the North Pole with 107-mph winds.

Ian scattered tons and tons of snow and moved them from here, to there, and from there to yonder, as the locals say in Arkansas.

Since there are no power lines in the NP, that was not an issue.

A North Pole ranger, identified as Matco Rattlerock, 40, reported seeing polar bears that were huddled together like the Dallas Cowboys offense before a run or pass play.

Rattlerock noted that he has lived at the North Pole all of his life, and there are four things he has never seen before; wildfires, earthquakes, hurricanes, and Kim Kardashian, although he noted tongue-in-cheek that you can now cross hurricanes off the list. ■