SAN ANTONIO – (Satire News) – According to Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter Pico de Gallo, the most unpopular, and most hated governor in the history of state governors, Greg “Eggplant Face” Abbott is catching hellacious hell for having the audacity and unmitigated gall to suggest that the Alamo be turned into a McDonalds restaurant.
Abbott, who is confined to a wheelchair, due to an injury during the Viet Nam War, when he was running away from attacking Viet Cong soldiers, has become so fucking despised in the Lone Star state, that even his own maternal grandmother Henrietta Fashinski, 88, tells her neighbors that the little ugly bitch boy was adopted from a Cambodian whore mother.
Meanwhile, the state of Texas is doing a recount of the votes, and Democrat candidate Beto O’Rourke may end up the winner.