Can you have it all? – Irene Elias | Self Love Junkie

It seems like this question is circling more than ever, but maybe that’s because it’s at the forefront of my mind these days: can women truly have it all? Can we seamlessly juggle flourishing careers and the beautiful chaos of motherhood without becoming a hot mess?

For years, we’ve been sold a lie: that women can have it all. But they missed out on some crucial information.

The reality, however, is far more intricate. The truth is, yes, women can have it all, BUT we need a strong support system, and we certainly can’t have it ALL AT ONCE. Something’s always got to give.

You can’t pour your heart and soul into raising a child and simultaneously give 100% to your career without some form of support and compromise. Trust me, I tried—and it was a major fail. Growing up, my father would tell me, “You have to choose: be a mother or have a career.” I understand where he was coming from and he was right in some way, but in today’s world, is that a choice we still need to make?

Maybe it’s time we reframe the question.

Life comes in seasons. There will be times when your career demands your full attention and other times when your family needs you more. Recognizing that your focus will naturally shift over time can alleviate the pressure to choose one over the other.

Take me, for instance. Right now, my career is on a gentle simmer while I focus on my son. I work minimum hours per week because I can’t devote all my time and energy to it like I did before motherhood. But I know that my career will reclaim the spotlight again (or will it?).

One aspect of your life will always require more attention at different times. It’s about knowing that it’s okay for your career to take a backseat when your child needs you more and vice versa.

Let’s Be Honest

Firstly, there is no such thing as ‘balancing’ it all. To even come close to having it all, we need super duper support systems. This means supportive partners, family, friends, nannies, cleaners, chefs, and a workplace that acknowledges and accommodates the dual roles many women play. We need societal changes that make it possible for women to thrive both at home and in their careers without burning out. And yes, there will be times when you must decide which aspect of your life will take a backseat.

Being kind to yourself and acknowledging what truly fulfills you is essential. Motherhood and career aspirations are not mutually exclusive, but they require a realistic approach and substantial support.

We need to redefine what it means to “have it all” and accept that it doesn’t mean doing everything perfectly all the time. Embrace your path, seek support, and know that you are doing an incredible job, whether you’re at home with your kids, at the office, or somewhere in between.

Having a fulfilling life that includes both motherhood and a career isn’t about choosing between two paths and it’s not about balancing the roles perfectly, but understanding that the scale will inevitably tip.

The question is, which side of the scale are you willing to tip in this season of your life? There is no right or wrong answer, only the choice that aligns best with your current journey and desires. Embrace the season you’re in, knowing that each tilt of the scale brings its own lessons and rewards.

After all, life is too short to be stuck choosing between heels and sneakers when you can have both, but not wear at the same time.

So, can you really have it all?

The answer is yes, but with a caveat: you can have it all, but like I said, not all at once and not without support. You cannot give 100% to raising your child and 100% to your career simultaneously. And, some women need to work to support their families, leaving them no choice but to work rather than being a full-time stay-at-home mum.

It’s about doing what is right for you and again, not listening to the opinions of others but being a leader in your life. It’s also about being kind to yourself as you navigate this journey. Embrace the ebb and flow, celebrate your achievements, do the work where improvements are needed and remember that having it all is about finding YOUR unique ‘balance.’

Love,
Irene