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Denver, Colorado Local News

Ask Amy: Husband tries to broker an uneasy truce

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Dear Amy: My wife and her sister “Bobbi” have stopped speaking to each other over a disagreement that has now lasted for more than two years.

Our families live on opposite coasts, so communication has always relied on phone/video calls.

During the pandemic, my wife made a particular effort to schedule video calls for our young children with their Aunt Bobbi (who they have only seen in person once or twice).

Before one such scheduled call, my wife informed Bobbi that the kids weren’t feeling well, and canceled the call. Bobbi was very upset, and what followed was an angry and hurtful exchange based on various unresolved feelings (both related and unrelated), ultimately leading to the complete and mutual estrangement.

As a consequence, no further video calls with the kids were scheduled.

Bobbi then emailed me, characterizing my wife’s half of their estrangement as “blocking her access to the kids,” and expecting me to establish for her regular communication with our children.

I found this to be awkward and unreasonable, and suggested that she make an effort to repair her relationship with her sister. However, Bobbi was insulted by this suggestion, and now she is not responding to me, either!

Silent treatment notwithstanding, Bobbi still sends messages to my email address that she intends for our children (happy birthday, etc).

I’ve replied and thanked her each time, including a civil message hoping to tee up an easy response — she hasn’t once replied to me.

I am befuddled and hurt by her expectations of maintaining a relationship with our kids, but refusing to have one with their parents.

As a result, I’ve stopped showing the emails to the kids.

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Amy Dickinson

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