Ron DeSantis Suggests Anyone Asking Questions About His Alleged Use of Lifts Has a Foot Fetish

Responding to questions about his very likely use of height-enhancing boot lifts Thursday, Ron DeSantis said there are graver issues facing this country and suggested that anyone talking about the lengths he allegedly goes to give himself a few extra vertical inches has a sexual interest in feet.

“This is no time for foot fetishes,” are the words that literally came out of the 2024 hopeful’s mouth. “We’ve got serious problems as a country. We’ve got war in the Middle East. We’ve got terrorists coming across our own southern border. We have an American dream that’s out of reach for millions of Americans because of the Biden-flation and the high energy prices. We’ve got schools that are indoctrinating kids, not educating kids, and we’ve got cities that are being overrun by crime. And I know people want to try to divert onto other issues, I know Donald Trump and a lot of his people have been focusing on things like footwear. I’ll tell you this: If Donald Trump can summon the balls to show up to the debate, I’ll wear a boot on my head. This is a time for substance.”

It’s not clear that anyone would be interested in seeing DeSantis wear a boot on his head. However, if he offered to wear his boots out onstage, and then take them off for the cameras so people could see once and for all if they have lifts inside them, that might actually put all of this to rest.

Earlier this week, in a tour de force of journalism, Politico ran a story in which some of the world’s leading bespoke footwear makers were were asked their professional opinions on whether or not DeSantis has been wearing boots with heels concealed on the inside. Their expert takeaways? Most definitely yes. “I’ve dealt with these politicians many times,” Zephan Parker, the proprietor of Texas-based bespoke boot maker Parker Boot Company, told the outlet. “I’ve helped them with their lifts. [DeSantis] is wearing lifts; there’s no doubt.” DeSantis has vehemently denied doing so.

Shortly after the story ran, DeSantis rival Nikki Haley was asked in an interview on The Daily Show if her heels were higher than the governor’s. “I don’t know,” she responded. “We’ll have to figure that out.” She added: “I’ve always talked about my high heels…. I’ve always said, ‘Don’t wear them if you can’t run in them.’ So we’ll see if he can run in them.”