5 Creative Ways to Ask a Girl Out

It’s a fact: women get approached all the time by guys who are interested in them.

Some days, it can even feel like there are fewer single women than men out there. So how are you supposed to get noticed if you don’t already know a girl…or even if you do, how do you stand out from all of the other guys out there trying to get her attention?

You’re definitely right to assume that she’d heard every cheesy pick-up line in the book, but don’t worry! Finding a way to make yourself stand out and catch a girl’s interest is easier than you think.

First things first: use your words

Whether on a dating app or in person, trying to start a conversation with “hey” or “’sup” won’t just get you ignored—it’s likely to annoy her. While you may see it as a friendly hello, to her, it’s a signal that you can’t keep up your end of a conversation. If you’re online, use full sentences and show interest in her based on what’s in her profile.

After that, be prepared to keep the conversation going! In person or online, communication is key. And while there’s probably some creative way to ask out a woman using mime or interpretive dance, the cringe factor is high. Creative and risky are two different things. You may be disappointed, but the fact is that a well-thought-out conversation starter is almost certainly a better approach than something showy.

Offer to buy her a drink. Yes, really.

This may seem like a cliché, or maybe even total Creep City, but when done right, offering to pick up the tab at a bar or coffee shop is a nice, low-pressure way to set the tone and let her know you’ve noticed her. If you’ve seen her at a café ordering the same drink you normally get, that’s a great way to open the conversation: “I noticed you and I both order pumpkin spice lattes in the middle of July. Since I was getting one for myself I thought I’d get one for you, too.”

You may think that if buying someone a coffee is good that offering to buy them lunch or dinner may be even better. However, coffee or a drink is definitely the go-to; it gives both you and the girl you’re interested in room to maneuver.

If she’s in a hurry, paying for her coffee is a simple, gentlemanly gesture that allows her to accept the gift even if she can’t stay and chat — but it will still give you the opportunity to connect, and puts you on good footing for the next time you run in to one another. And keeping it light and easy benefits you, too. If you two do get a chance to chat and the sparks aren’t flying, one or both of you can politely bow out in the course of minutes rather than an hour.

Recommend a book or artist

This may seem a little bit puzzling if you haven’t actually talked to the girl you want to ask out yet. But if you’re online, look for something in her profile that resonates, and start the conversation with something like “Your profile mentioned (a certain book). Have you read this other, similar book? You might like it.”

In person, you can do roughly the same thing. But obviously no woman is walking around with a list of her likes and dislikes pinned to her back. Try reversing it: Walk up and say “I’ve been looking for something new to listen to. What’s been on repeat for you?” It’s a good way to start a conversation where there’s no natural “in.”

Do you see the common thread yet?

You may have picked up on something: it’s just plain easier to ask a girl out online. From finding a person to ask, to starting a conversation, to figuring out how to ask at all, online dating takes a lot of the guesswork out of setting up dates.

Unlike asking someone out in person, if you’ve been chatting with someone on a dating app, it’s clear they’re single and there to meet someone. And if they’ve been chatting you for any reasonable amount of time, a woman will most likely be interested in meeting you in person.

This isn’t to say that you should ditch meet-cutes in person. Flirting can be fun, and that in-person spark is a great feeling. But those moments are rare, and leave a lot to chance. Keep the possibility of in-person connections open, but it’s worth it to keep apps in mind.

Finally: Just ask. Seriously

The most surprising way you can ask a girl out? Just say hello, tell her you find her attractive, smart and funny (if you know—don’t fib), and that you’d like to get to know her better.

You’d be surprised how few guys are actually direct when they want to meet a woman. Whether you’re in person or online, simply being straightforward is probably the most surprising thing you can do.

A few things to remember

While a girl likes charming and direct guys, there are a couple of things to keep in mind when you approach women. First, being overly persistent isn’t attractive. Ask once, and if she says she’s not interested, respect that. While wearing her down with repeated requests to go out may win you a pity date, it definitely won’t win her respect.

Second, pick your moment. If you’re approaching a woman in person, don’t walk up and expect her to have time to talk if she’s reading, or has headphones in—or is at work—she’s busy and is giving off the nonverbal cue that she doesn’t want to be interrupted.

This can be tough, because you may feel like you need to work up the nerve to approach her at all. But if you wait until the time is right, your odds will be much better.

And remember — as cliché as it sounds, being yourself gives you the best odds of scoring a date with a girl you’ll hit it off with.