AUSTIN, TX—After a year in which the electric automaker’s stock lost 65% of its value, CEO Elon Musk has doubled down on plans to build Tesla’s Cybertruck, introducing on Friday a new design for a concept vehicle that would boldly reimagine the American pickup. “This is a truck unlike any the world has ever seen: the first to consist entirely of a quadrilateral with four congruent sides and four right angles,” Musk said during a media event at Tesla headquarters, describing the proposed Cybertruck’s unique two-dimensionality and innovative ability to glide across land, sea, and air. “It’s going to be totally flat, and we’ve done away with the wheels completely. Because it has no depth, it can theoretically travel at infinite speeds. And with its ability to hold an unlimited number of passengers, the Cybertruck will instantly alleviate all traffic congestion between San Francisco and L.A. Anyway, we’ll have these on the road later this year.” At press time, Tesla’s stock price had reportedly tripled even as Musk’s blueprint for the concept car inexplicably erupted into flames.
