Sen. Feinstein Faces Increased Pressure From Hallucination Of JFK Yelling At Her To Step Down

SAN FRANCISCO—With the powerful Democrat making frequent appearances before her and urging her to resign her seat, Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) reportedly faced increased pressure Friday from a hallucination of the late former President John F. Kennedy yelling at her to step down. “The party, Dianne! Think of the party!” said an apparition of the 35th president who is visible only to Feinstein and has served as her top aide since he entered her hospital room last month, trailing behind him the endless brain tissue that continually oozes from a wound in his skull. “There is nothing left for you in the Senate, Dianne, or indeed in this earthly realm. Soon you will carry out the ultimate service to your country by joining me on the other side. And together, we will govern the afterlife!” At press time, Feinstein told sources she felt betrayed after discovering the phantasm of Kennedy was merely angling to be appointed to her vacant Senate seat.