Jo Koy was an unambiguous flop as the 2024 Golden Globes host. Some of Koy’s “jokes” made no sense—why are you ranting about the length of Oppenheimer (180 minutes) when Killers of the Flower Moon (206 minutes) is right there? Others were flat out asinine—even your middle school bully could have come up with something more creative to say about Barbie then comment on the doll’s “big boobies.” In any case, it was painfully clear that the veteran comedian was simply not up for the job of emceeing one of Hollywood’s glitziest nights. Koy seemed to realize this in the middle of his monologue, grinning and bearing it while throwing his writers under the bus: “I wrote some of these, and they’re the ones you’re laughing at.” I guess we’ll have to take his word for it.
Not all of the writing featured on the telecast was bad. Perhaps it was the incredibly low bar set by Koy’s monologue, but the 2024 Golden Globes featured some of the stronger presenting bits we’ve seen in recent awards shows history. It was hard not to crack a smile when Elizabeth Banks made Dua Lipa say “vitamins” in her British accent. Who didn’t giggle when Andra Day struggled to read the word “strip mall” on the teleprompter to the amusement of Jon Batiste? And Kevin Costner paraphrasing America Ferrera’s Barbie monologue back to her when he clearly had no idea what he was talking about was the second best Costner Golden Globe moment after Regina Hall accepted an award on his behalf last year. Problems with the framing aside—why were they standing with their backs to the audience?—the presenter bits brought some of the only levity of the night to an otherwise predictable and near-train wreck of an evening.
The low of Koy’s hosting stylings mixed with the relative high of the presenter bits made one thing clear: The Golden Globes have progressed past the need for a host.
Hosting the show is a uniquely tough gig. As many people noted during their acceptance speeches last night, it’s a particularly intimidating room even in the grand scheme of awards shows. The Globes combines the biggest names in both movies and television—the Meryl Streeps with the Pedro Pascals with the Jennifer Anistons with the Martin Scorseses and Oprahs of the world (all of whom were present last night). It’s like the Emmys and the Oscars rolled into one, held in the more intimate Beverly Hilton. Sure, the SAG Awards also celebrate film and television, but the awards held by the actors union tends to have a more serious “for us, by us” feel. The Globes, meanwhile, style themselves as a televised party, a social gathering where the world gets a peek behind Hollywood’s velvet curtain for one glorious evening. Anyone not already in the Hollywood elite would understandably feel the pressure when hosting a night like this, as Koy clearly was. You could feel him wanting to both make jokes but also impress everyone in the audience, taking shots while also desperately wanting to be accepted, which flatlined the room. Taylor Swift’s withering look after a joke at her expense said it all: Koy is not one of us.
Ricky Gervais became de facto Golden Globes host for many years because he was able to play on that dynamic, skewering Hollywood’s A-list from within the gilded cage. Although he positioned himself as something of an outsider, he clearly was in the club—his Golden Globe win last night in the newly introduced best-stand-up category is proof enough. Last year, Emmy-winning comedian Jerrod Carmichael leaned into the fact that he was very much on the outside of the Hollywood inner circle, cracking jokes about how much he was paid for the gig and why he was hosting the besmirched awards show. (“I’m here ’cause I’m Black,” he quipped.) While he got middling reviews, in hindsight Carmichael’s ability to wring jokes out of cold, hard truths seems incredibly impressive given his relative newcomer status in the industry.
But we no longer need an insult-wielding insider-y comedian or a truth-telling outsider to emcee the proceedings. What we need is stars being stars.
Take Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig, whose bit while introducing the best actor in a musical or comedy was both stupid and surprisingly cutting, with Ferrell offering, “The Globes have not changed!” as the punch line of the evening. Just as they did in 2013 (“Judi Dench. Where did she come from?”), they delivered exactly what we want from the Golden Globes—megastars so comfortable and at home in their environment that they are unafraid to be their silliest selves.
Of course, the Globes would probably love it if Ferrell and Wiig volunteered to host the whole shebang. Unfortunately, a mix of declining ratings for awards shows plus diminishing returns on the host’s investment seems to have resulted in celebrities of a certain standing no longer champing at the bit to host splashy awards shows. (How we miss you, Billy Crystal.) Rather than settle for [insert comedian here], the answer to the Golden Globes telecast problem was standing right under their nose: Just get rid of a host—something the Globes have done many times before—and have celebrities present their little bits together and then get back to their seats to enjoy the rest of their evening.
Chris Murphy
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