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Tag: Zoey Burns

  • Light Pole Installation Causes 911 Service Outage Across Several States

    Light Pole Installation Causes 911 Service Outage Across Several States

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    Lumen, the company that supports 911 some emergency call services, stated that the outages in Nevada, South Dakota, and Nebraska that left callers unanswered were caused by a “fiber cut” during the installation of a light pole. What do you think?

    “I keep saying we should’ve never transitioned away from candles.”

    Drew Fanning, Haggling Coach

    This Week’s Most Viral News: April 5, 2024

    “Too late now. My urge to report that murder has passed.”

    Zoey Burns, Breakup Announcer

    “When are these people going to stop relying on 911 to solve all their problems?”

    Ben Kadapul, Table Setter

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  • Ron DeSantis Launches U.S. Presidential Bid In Glitch-Filled Twitter Broadcast

    Ron DeSantis Launches U.S. Presidential Bid In Glitch-Filled Twitter Broadcast

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    Ron DeSantis launched his 2024 presidential campaign in an online Twitter Spaces event with Elon Musk that was marred by 25 minutes of technical glitches where the audio stream crashed repeatedly, making it impossible for most users to hear the new presidential candidate in real time. What do you think?

    “I’m tired of the media trying to silence this man.”

    Zoey Burns, Freelance Plagiarist

    Ron DeSantis Introduces New Son Barron Trump

    “Twenty-five minutes of no talking was the best launch the DeSantis campaign could hope for.”

    Drew Fanning, Unemployed

    “It’s good to have the superficial appearance of a Trump alternative.”

    Dom Edelstein, Webinar Planner

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