ReportWire

Tag: Elizabeth Roper

  • Beachgoer In Japan Rescued After Being Swept 50 Miles Out To Sea

    Beachgoer In Japan Rescued After Being Swept 50 Miles Out To Sea

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    A woman who was swept 50 miles out into the Pacific Ocean while swimming with an inflatable swim ring was rescued after 37 hours, with authorities reporting she was likely taken by a current and pushed by strong winds in her inner tube. What do you think?

    “That’s pretty far to go before asking for help.”

    Elizabeth Roper, Sauce Chef

    Eli Lilly Unveils Insulin That Doesn’t Work On Poor People

    “Sounds like she managed to have a pretty relaxing getaway.”

    Diego Migues, Printer Repairman

    “The hubris of some people to think mankind was ever meant to float on water.”

    Jeff Blaylock, Systems Analyst

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  • Title 42 Expires

    Title 42 Expires

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    Title 42, the Covid-era public health emergency measure that allowed for the quick expulsion of migrants at the border and nearly halted the processing of asylum applications for more than three years, has expired, with tens of thousands of people who have been waiting in Mexico after fleeing from violence, poverty, and political instability expected to make their way to the border. What do you think?

    “I have bad news for anyone immigrating to America to flee violence and poverty.”

    Elizabeth Roper, Rubber Harvester

    The Onion Reviews ‘When Harry Met Sally’

    “It’ll be such a relief to go back to the pre-Covid way of discriminating against migrants.”

    Diego Migues, Brand Consultant

    “I’m confident we can figure out another reason to deny people asylum.”

    Jeff Blaylock, Holistic Healer

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