The rise of the “Sober-ish” guy explains why men are drinking less, choosing balance, and redefining modern social life.
This isn’t Dry January. It isn’t a wellness cleanse, a moral reset, or a social media badge of honor. It’s quieter than that. Across bars, dates, living rooms, and stadium couches, more men are simply drinking less — without announcing it, apologizing for it, or calling it sobriety. We are in the era of the rise of the “Sober-ish” guy.
The “sober-ish” guy isn’t abstinent. He still goes out. He still watches the game. He still orders something interesting at the bar. He’s just done feeling like trash the next morning.
What’s changing isn’t masculinity or morality — it’s tolerance. Not physical tolerance, but lifestyle tolerance. Men in their 30s, 40s, and 50s are realizing alcohol’s upside no longer outweighs its downside. Poor sleep. Lingering anxiety. Weight gain. Foggy mornings. The cost is now obvious, and the payoff feels smaller.
Unlike past anti-drinking movements, this shift isn’t driven by doctors or public health campaigns. It’s driven by lived experience. Men don’t want to quit fun — they want to quit the hangover, the bloat, the irritability, and the creeping sense one night out derails three days of productivity.
This is where “sober-ish” culture finds its footing. Instead of quitting alcohol entirely, men are editing it out of certain moments. Weeknights. Work dinners. First dates. Long flights. Sunday afternoons. Alcohol becomes optional rather than automatic.
Cannabis, particularly low-dose and socially acceptable formats, is increasingly filling the gap. For some men, it functions as a cleaner social lubricant — something which takes the edge off without hijacking the next day. A drink used to be the default way to relax, bond, or celebrate. Now, a mild edible or vape can play a similar role without the physical tax.
This shift is already reshaping social spaces. Bars are adapting with better non-alcoholic cocktails, THC-friendly patios in legal states, and menus assuming not everyone wants a buzz ending in regret. On dates, ordering something other than alcohol is no longer a red flag — it’s often a quiet signal of self-awareness. Watching sports no longer requires a six-pack; it requires something keeping energy up rather than dragging it down.
Festivals, once defined by excess, are also adjusting. Hydration stations, cannabis lounges, and sober-curious programming acknowledge a crowd wanting stimulation without self-sabotage. The culture of endurance drinking — proving you can outlast everyone else — is losing relevance.
Importantly, this isn’t about virtue. Men aren’t trying to be better than anyone else. They’re trying to feel better. They still want connection, laughter, looseness, and shared rituals. They just want them without the aftermath.
The rise of the sober-ish guy reflects a broader cultural recalibration. Alcohol hasn’t disappeared, but its monopoly on male social life has cracked. In its place is something more flexible, more individualized, and more honest.
Men aren’t sober. They’re just done feeling like trash.
FROM TOWSON. A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION IS I HAVE A TWIN SISTER, SO OUR GOAL IS TO ACCOMPLISH ALL OUR FITNESS GOALS, BE DISCIPLINED AND THAT’S WHY KARISMA GREEN IS UP EARLY AT PLANET FITNESS IN TOWSON. FOR TYRA WHEELER. CONSISTENCY HERE HASN’T JUST HELPED HIM CHANGE HIS BODY, IT’S CHANGED HIS LIFE. WITH MY CAREER, MY SCHOOLING, MY FAMILY, IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO GO HARDER IN EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE. REALLY. ABOUT THREE YEARS AGO, ON NEW YEAR’S DAY, IN FACT, TYRELL SET OUT TO GO FROM FROM EXTREME BEING TO, YOU KNOW, A MEAN GREEN. AND BY NOT GIVING UP, HE’S GONE FROM THIS TO THIS. PUTTING ON NEARLY 30 POUNDS OF MUSCLE. AND ONCE YOU START TO SEE A CHANGE IN YOUR BODY, IT’S NO STOPPING THERE. PLANET FITNESS GENERAL MANAGER QUINTIN DAILEY SAYS THE KEY TO MAKING SURE YOU DON’T GIVE UP WITHIN THE FIRST MONTH, LIKE SO MANY PEOPLE DO, IS IT’S FINDING YOUR WHY, FINDING WHY YOU WANT TO DO THIS. IT MIGHT BE FOR HEALTH, IT MIGHT BE FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. IT MIGHT BE FOR TO YOUR FAMILY CAN SEE YOU A LITTLE LONGER SO YOU CAN MOVE A LITTLE BIT BETTER SO YOU CAN GET A LITTLE STRONGER. ONCE YOU FIND YOUR WHY IT BECOMES A LOT EASIER. GETTING FIT IS A NUMBER ONE RESOLUTION ACCORDING TO YOUGOV.COM. ALSO ON THE LIST. BEING HAPPY, EATING HEALTHIER AND SAVING MORE MONEY. ADULTS UNDER 45 ARE ALSO ABOUT TWICE AS LIKELY AS OLDER AMERICANS TO SAY THEY WILL MAKE A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION. DO YOU HAVE A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION? NO, I DON’T HAVE A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION. I BELIEVE IN MAKING PLANS EVERY DAY AND CARRYING THEM OUT EVERY DAY, INSTEAD OF JUST SAVING THEM UP FOR ONE DAY A YEAR. IF YOU KNOW SOMETHING IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO IT, DO TODAY. MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTION IS TO BE AT THE BE AT PEACE WITH THE WORLD. THE FIRST ONE IS FINISH COLLEGE. THAT’S THAT’S LIKE BOTTOM LINE, WORK IN THE FIELD WOULD BE THE SECOND GOAL AND JUST KEEP GROWING. IF YOU HAVE RESOLVED TO GET OUTDOORS MORE, WHY NOT JUST TAKE A HIKE? FIRST DAY HIKES IS A NATIONWIDE INITIATIVE THAT THE MARYLAND DEPARTMENT OF NATURAL RESOURCES IS TAKING PART IN. SO YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND GO ONLINE TO FIND OUT WHERE YOU CAN DO A SELF-GUIDED TOUR OR A RANGER LED TOUR. AND IT RUNS THROUGH JANUARY THE 2ND H
Getting fit, healthy is a common New Year’s resolution. Here’s how to actually find success
People typically consider setting goals at the new year, so how does one find success?When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, many people got up early Thursday morning with a goal of getting fit in 2026.At Planet Fitness in Towson, Maryland, Tyrell Wheeler said consistency helped him change more than his body — it changed his life.”With my career, with my schooling, with my family, it just makes me want to go harder in every aspect of my life,” Wheeler said.On New Year’s Day about three years ago, Wheeler set out to “(go) from a string bean to a mean green.” And, by not giving up, he put on almost 30 pounds of muscle.Quintin Dailey, the gym’s general manager, said the key to making sure you don’t give up within the first month, as he sees most people do, is to find your why.”Once you start to see a change in your body, there’s no stopping there,” Dailey said. “(Find) the why you want to do this: It might be for health, it might be for your mental health, it might be so your family could see you longer, move a little bit better, so you can get stronger. Once you find your why, it becomes a lot easier.” Getting fit is the No. 1 resolution, according to a YouGov survey. Also on the list: Being happy (23%), eating healthier (22%) and saving more money (21%).The survey found adults under 45 are about twice as likely as older Americans to say they will make a New Year’s resolution (43% vs. 21%).”I don’t have a New Year’s resolution. I believe in making plans every day, carrying them out every day, (not) just saving them up for one day a year. If it’s the right thing to do, do it today,” said Bernie Simon, a gym patron.”The first one is finish college, bottom line. Second would be to work in the field. And then, just keep growing,” said Dylan Johnson, a gym patron.
TOWSON, Md. —
People typically consider setting goals at the new year, so how does one find success?
When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, many people got up early Thursday morning with a goal of getting fit in 2026.
At Planet Fitness in Towson, Maryland, Tyrell Wheeler said consistency helped him change more than his body — it changed his life.
“With my career, with my schooling, with my family, it just makes me want to go harder in every aspect of my life,” Wheeler said.
On New Year’s Day about three years ago, Wheeler set out to “(go) from a string bean to a mean green.” And, by not giving up, he put on almost 30 pounds of muscle.
Quintin Dailey, the gym’s general manager, said the key to making sure you don’t give up within the first month, as he sees most people do, is to find your why.
“Once you start to see a change in your body, there’s no stopping there,” Dailey said. “(Find) the why you want to do this: It might be for health, it might be for your mental health, it might be so your family could see you longer, move a little bit better, so you can get stronger. Once you find your why, it becomes a lot easier.”
Getting fit is the No. 1 resolution, according to a YouGov survey. Also on the list: Being happy (23%), eating healthier (22%) and saving more money (21%).
The survey found adults under 45 are about twice as likely as older Americans to say they will make a New Year’s resolution (43% vs. 21%).
“I don’t have a New Year’s resolution. I believe in making plans every day, carrying them out every day, (not) just saving them up for one day a year. If it’s the right thing to do, do it today,” said Bernie Simon, a gym patron.
“The first one is finish college, bottom line. Second would be to work in the field. And then, just keep growing,” said Dylan Johnson, a gym patron.
A woman’s mortifying moment at the gym may have ended up working out in her favor if TikTok romantics are to be believed. After an embarrassing encounter with her gym crush, a Las Vegas woman vowed never to return to the fitness center again. But was her core memory a love story in the making?
What happened at the gym?
TikToker Alexa (@alexaabney69) films her viral TikTok from inside her car. “Oh my god, oh my god, I have to cancel my gym membership,” she begins. Alexa shares how she arrived at her gym that morning, “wrestling” with the hoodie she’s currently wearing. According to her, she was trying to put it on as she walked toward the building when she noticed her “gym crush” behind her.
“This is gonna be a great f–ing day,” Alexa says she thought.
How wrong she was.
As Alexa scans her barcode to get in, she says her crush comes up behind her.
“I’ve never talked to him before, he’s just somebody I like to look at,” Alexa clarifies. Then her crush tells her, “Ma’am, I think you dropped something.”
Alexa figured she probably dropped her credit card or something along those lines, and asked him where it was. The man looked “uncomfortable” and told her she dropped it near her car.
“I was right behind you, I saw it fall out of your sleeve,” Alexa says the man told her. However, the man “didn’t know” what the item was.
Puzzled as to why he didn’t just pick up the item and hand it to her, Alexa says she followed him to the parking lot at his request.
When Alexa notices the black cloth item, she immediately knew what it was.
“I go down to pick it up, it is a black lace thong,” Alexa says.
How did her underwear land in the parking lot?
Alexa then recalls how she did laundry yesterday and the thong must’ve been stuck in the sleeve of her hoodie.
“I guess I pushed [the thong] out of my sleeve, and he was right behind me,” the TikToker says. “Like no wonder he didn’t pick it up. Who would pick that up?”
She concludes, “That is so embarrassing. I can’t ever show my face here again.”
Viewers are rooting for her
Despite Alexa’s gargantuan embarrassment, many of her viewers saw it as a strategy to win over her gym crush. All she had to do was play her cards right.
“I bet 20$ he’s talking to you everyday from now on!” one wrote. “So you awkwardly did yourself a favor.” Another viewer called it the “2020s version of the woman dropping her handkerchief.”
Other viewers gave advice on how Alexa can bag her gym crush.
“So hear me out. Go up to him at the gym and say something witty like Hey, thanks for being so cool about the situation. Would you like to go out for lunch, and before you answer I promise to check my sleeves before we go out!”
One user echoed, “girl that’s when you say ‘if you wanna see me in it one day here’s my number’ LMAO.”
Gisselle Hernandez-Gomez is a contributing reporter to the Mary Sue. Her work has appeared in the Daily Dot, Business Insider, Fodor’s Travel and more. You can follow her on X at @GisselleHern. You can email her at [email protected].
A new $40 million YMCA is set to bring a pool, gym, and community space back to Inglewood for the first time in over a decade
Courtesy MichaelVi via Adobe StockCredit: Courtesy MichaelVi via Adobe Stock
The YMCA is officially making its way back to Inglewood after being gone for over a decade.
In partnership with the Inglewood Unified School District (IUSD), the YMCA of Metropolitan Los Angeles has unveiled their plans for a $40 million, 30,000 square-foot facility set to open by the 2028 Olympics.
The two-story center will feature a regulation swimming pool, gymnasium, fitness areas and spaces for youth and community programs to be held. Organizers describe it as more than just a gym – it’s a major investment in health, opportunities, and neighborhood pride, designed to serve Inglewood as well as neighboring communities.
For local students of IUSD, this project will finally make competitive swimming and water polo possible again, while community leaders see it as a potential hub that can bring residents of all ages together.
Former Lakers star Metta World Peace even joined in on the announcement to highlight the YMCA’s impact, praising its role in connecting youth, seniors and families.
The unveiling of the YMCA also doubles as a fundraising opportunity. With construction on a tight timeline and the 2028 Olympics looming, supporters say community backing will be vital to move the project forward.
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When completed, the new YMCA will restore a trusted name to Inglewood while expanding access to recreational and wellness centers for a community that has gone without it for far too long.
A woman was outsourced from her company under suspicious circumstances. The reason she may think this is why? She left on her lunch break to go to the gym.
In a video with over 4,500 views, Whitney Lawrence (whit.moves) explained how her position in human resources had an “unspoken” rule for its employees: don’t leave the office, or you may get canned.
Worker uses lunch break to visit gym
Lawrence said one of the strangest experiences leading up to her position being outsourced involved her decision to start leaving the office for lunch. For the year and a half or two years she had worked there, she never stepped out.
“I had always worked through my lunch, never left,” she said. Over time, though, the work environment began to feel increasingly hostile. She sensed that her termination might be coming, so she decided to take a small step for herself and leave to go to the gym during her lunch break, figuring she might get fired anyway.
“One of the craziest things that happened before my position got outsourced was about a month ago,” Lawrence said. “I decided I’m going to start taking my lunch and leaving [to] go to the gym. Everybody else seems to leave on their lunch. Why can’t I?”
The ‘unspoken rule’
She noted that there seemed to be an unspoken rule specifically targeting HR employees. “I have always felt like there was this unspoken rule of like, ‘HR isn’t allowed to leave,’ so I just never did,” she added. She also felt the weight of her boss’s disapproval. “I felt like my boss frowned upon it.”
When she was eventually outsourced, she wasn’t necessarily surprised. However, the interaction she had with the company owner’s wife left her stunned.
“She asked me, ‘Oh where are you going?’ Mind you, I don’t even know what this lady does for the company, but she’s there everyday looking over everyone’s shoulder,” she said. “I said, ‘Oh I’m going to the gym.’ She’s like, ‘Oh you’re going to the gym on your lunch?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’
The woman proceeded to snarkily reply, “‘OK well, I hope you’re not planning on eating when you come back since you’re spending your lunch [there].’”
Sometime after that interaction, Lawrence got outsourced and let go.
Commenters dig into the company
Many TikTok users thought that the interaction was unnecessarily hostile, especially given the fact that Lawrence could technically do whatever she needed with her lunch hour.
One wrote, “The unspoken rules and vibes shifts that take place in an office needs to be studied.”
Another added, “I foam at the mouth, thinking of these situations, hoping they would happen to me. That lady would have learned that day, why she should myob.”
Another person referenced the company that Lawrence supposedly worked for, but didn’t mention what that company is. They said, “I used to work at the same company you did. They put up such a front that it was a big family. Biggest sack of lies.”
The first time I tried Pilates in 2021, it was so challenging that I swore I’d never go back. Recently, though, on one of my #HotGirlWalks, I passed by a Club Pilates location, and it looked far more approachable than the previous studio I’d visited, which enticed me into giving it a try.
Even though I skipped the free 30-minute introductory course Club Pilates offers and dove right into a level-one Reformer Flow class, during the actual session I never felt like I was working too hard; I wasn’t profusely sweating or breathing too heavily. But I certainly felt the burn in the days after.
Below, find my full (and honest) Club Pilates review.
Club Pilates is a chain of reformer Pilates-based workout studios with locations across the United States as well as internationally, in places including the Dominican Republic, Germany, and Singapore.) In addition to reformer Pilates workouts, Club Pilates offers classes that utilize TRX, Exo-Chairs, Bosu balls, dumbbells, mats, and rollers.
The company was founded in San Diego in 2007. The techniques offered by Club Pilates include some updates to the classical Pilates method, namely expanding the equipment participants use during classes. But the company’s core offerings and workout methods are inspired by the philosophy of Joseph Pilates, the founder and namesake of Pilates.
What Is Club Pilates Like?
Put simply, Club Pilates is as approachable as a fitness class can get. The location I went to looks like a regular Pilates studio. There are boxes, foam rollers, reformers, rings, weights, and yoga mats. The studio is adorned with mirrors along the walls adjacent to the reformers so that you can see (and correct, when necessary) your form.
What I loved most about Club Pilates is that the staff is friendly and helpful. My instructor, Megan Wallace, made each of us feel really comfortable on our reformers. She provided clear instructions, gently reminded us to work with our breath, and gave us positive feedback when she heard us doing so. And while this is a small detail, at the end of class Wallace nudged us to spray and wipe down our reformers, and each participant did so happily. To me, this display of hygiene and gym etiquette always bodes well for a class’s cleanliness and overall vibes.
While Club Pilates doesn’t have Equinox-like facilities, the bathroom is well-stocked with some favorites – including Batiste Dry Shampoo and Dove Spray-On Deodorant. I was meeting up with a friend post-Pilates and needed to freshen up, so I especially appreciated these perks.
There are also cubbies for your belongings at the North Hollywood location I visited. They were really roomy, fitting my tote, sandals, water bottle, and sunglasses with tons of room to spare. The shelf is rather large, and it seems to have more cubbies than reformers, so finding a cubby (even if you’re running late) shouldn’t be a problem.
Is Club Pilates a Good Workout?
Even at level one, I’d say that Club Pilates is a good workout. Throughout the entire Reformer Flow class, I didn’t really sweat. And while I did struggle during several moves, the class as a whole didn’t feel super challenging, so I didn’t think that I actually got a good workout in. But when I woke up the next day, my abs were sore. I couldn’t even giggle without feeling my core hurt a bit. To me, that’s the sign of a solid workout.
There are four different levels of classes at Club Pilates, starting off super easy at level one. From here, the classes ascend in difficulty by half a point measure at a time, with the highest level of difficulty for a given class being 2.5. Not all classes go this high, though. The Restore class only goes up to 1.5, and certain locations may not offer all difficulty levels. (The NoHo studio’s Reformer Flow class only goes up to level 2, for instance.)
There are also different types of classes, including Cardio Sculpt (high intensity), Center + Balance, Control, Restore, Suspend (the TRX-based class), F.I.T. (bootcamp style), and teen. If you’re looking for the best or most difficult workout, Wallace recommends the highest level Reformer Flow.
But another sign that Club Pilates is more concerned with making sure everyone gets the best workout for them, versus just filling classes: to sign up for Reformer Flow 2, participants need instructor approval, Wallace says. “This class is for clients with extensive reformer experience, as it focuses on balance, strength, and advanced Pilates movements using lighter spring tension,” she says. If you don’t have the experience but want to work hard, your instructor can help point you to a more appropriate class to help you build the experience you need. Wallace notes that the first two levels can still give you a good workout, especially if you focus on engaging your core and keeping the right form.
Regardless of the difficulty level or class that you choose, Club Pilates is a welcoming space where folks don’t judge each other. I felt comfortable taking the modifications Wallace offered and never felt like people were staring at me or thinking that I was unfit. And that’s the kind of energy that’ll keep me coming back to a group workout.
What’s Worth Noting About Club Pilates
While I had a great time and will be returning, I’d be remiss not to mention that I felt a little out of place at first. My class was full of white-presenting people, and I was one of two women of color. That said, once the class started, those things didn’t matter – again, a credit to the welcoming ethos of Club Pilates and the warmth of my instructor. We were all there to move our bodies in a judgment-free zone. I got out of my head and just started doing the movements. (Also, of course, the makeup of your class will depend on where your studio is located and even when you go: though my class was mostly white, the intro class at 5 p.m. had only women of color in it, so I could tell it was a welcoming space.)
Also worth knowing ahead of time: you’ll need grip socks for all classes. You can bring your own, or purchase them at the studio’s store for around $20.
Who Club Pilates Is Good For
After attending a Club Pilates class for myself, I highly recommend it to anyone who’s curious about Pilates, including those who are new to the workout modality and especially people who’ve been put off by it before. It’s a great workout, although if you’re looking for something super sweaty or intense, you may want to sample one of the more difficult offerings on the Club Pilates menu. Regardless, the folks at Club Pilates made the class less intimidating and reassured me at every turn, which is exactly what I want to get out of my fitness class.
Natalie Arroyo Camacho is a San Fernando Valley-based journalist with more than five years of experience in the well-being and lifestyle space. A proud child of immigrants and first-generation Mexican American, Natalie has landed her byline in the Los Angeles Times, GQ, Teen Vogue, Remezcla, PS, and many others.
Today I’m going to issue you a challenge, and it will only require 20 seconds.
It could change your life.
I know 20 seconds doesn’t seem like a lot of time., but I’ve come to learn that when it comes to getting healthy, taking risks, and living a life worth living, 20 seconds is often more than enough to change one’s path.
What began as a fun mental strategy to overcome fear has since become a rallying cry for our community here at Nerd Fitness.
And today, I’m gonna help you do that thing that scares the crap out of you.
The Discovery of 20 Seconds of Courage
As I explain in the video above, today’s concept comes from an obscure Matt Damon movie: We Bought a Zoo.
In it, Matt Damon meets his wife by mustering up strength for a mere 20 seconds of courage to talk to her, despite being a complete nervous wreck before and after.
Had he never taken those 20 seconds to step outside of his comfort zone, he never would have met the love of his life.
One decision changed everything:
What does 20 seconds of courage have to do with leveling up our lives?
We Can Do Things Differently
As we think about our lives and how much we think we might be stuck on a certain path…
There are two realizations that might help us break free:
REALIZATION #1: Our lives are made up of a never ending series of decisions that actually take very little time:
Walking through a door.
Picking a seat on the train.
Signing up for a class.
Starting an uncomfortable conversation.
Filling out a form.
Of course, there’s lot of internal thought, plenty of inertia, and years of ingrained behavior that happen before an action is taken…but the action itself is often a split second.
This means that no matter what decisions we’ve made up until now, we still have infinite paths available to us moving forward.
As Alan Watts points out:
You are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago.
I’m reminded of this amazing graphic from my friend Tim Urban at Wait But Why:
Each decision creates a new branching path in our history. We can’t change the past, but we can decide to make act differently moving forward and change our fate.
REALIZATION #2: Humans (especially us nerds) tend to be risk averse, comfortable, and wary of doing things that scare us.
This isn’t surprising or unusual: we’re hardwired to trust our gut and be cautious of things that raise our anxiety. The decision to avoid certain things is what kept us alive during our cave-dwelling days.
In other words, a cautious cavewoman 120,000 years ago listened to that instinct, avoided the scary noise coming out of the brush, and lived long enough to pass along her cautious genes to you today.
These days, we’re still wired to avoid things that scare us – not animals in the brush, but rather conversations with strangers, activities that might embarrass us, and events that are anxiety-inducing.
If we are going to get the things we actually want out of life, it’s going to require us to overcome that fear mechanism to make a decision that is counter to 120,000+ years of DNA-sequencing.
Which ain’t easy.
But boy it can be life changing at best, or a lesson learned at worst:
“I can do hard things. Doing hard things has intrinsic value, and they will make me a better person, even if I end up failing.”
Why 20 Seconds of Courage works
By using 20 seconds to do something you normally would have avoided, or saying YES when you normally say NO, three amazing things happen:
If it doesn’t work out, you learn a lesson and become more resilient. You quickly learn the world didn’t end, and you are more likely to try new things in the future because failure wasn’t that bad! And you can develop some crucial self-compassion.
If it DOES work out, your life is now better as a result of your targeted bravery. A relationship, a new job, a new hobby, lifelong friend, are often results of a single decision made by somebody. This is you taking action rather than waiting for fate to intervene.
You NEVER have to wonder “what if?” when thinking about what could have been had you done that thing!
How 20 Seconds of Courage Can Change Your Life.
“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” – John Wayne, clearly a fan of 20 Seconds of Courage.
Here’s how to implement 20 Seconds of Courage into your life:
Identify the thing you terrified of.
Put ALL of your focus into a single specific action that will take less than 20 seconds but will result in you attempting the thing you’re scared of.
Work yourself up into a frenzy if you need to. Give yourself a pep talk in the mirror. Recruit a buddy if you have to.
Get scared to hell before.
Pee your pants (preferably after).
Just focus on the 20 seconds required for you to start or complete the action that is needed for you to change your path.
And then, welp… you’ve already started, and the hard part is done, might as well keep going:
Afraid of the free weight section at your gym? Turn on Berserker mode. Give yourself 20 seconds and walk into the section before you realize how scared you are. After your 20 second are up, you can go back to being afraid, but you’re already IN the free weight section, maybe even with a weight in hand. Might as well do the workout now, right? Who cares about the people around you – they’re too busy being self-conscious anyway.
Don’t think you can start your workout? Too tired? Put on a great freaking pump up song, jump around, psyche yourself up, and just GET started. Don’t worry about what happens in the 20 seconds after you get started. JUST focus on those 20 seconds that are needed to get you out of bed or out the door.
Afraid to sign up for a class? Afraid to try something new? No problem, be afraid. Sign up in those 20 seconds and make your commitment before you have a chance to back out. All of a sudden, you’re signed up and have to follow through!
Are you typically a push over? Do you never stand up for yourself at work? Beast mode. At the next meeting, take 20 seconds to really stand up for yourself and present YOUR opinions. Work up the courage to begin the conversation with your boss about getting that raise you deserve. Once you’re in the office and the conversation has begun, you might as well keep going.
See that cute person at the coffee shop? Normally you say NOTHING, and then go home and wish you had? Give yourself 20 seconds of courage. Be scared shitless before and scared shitless after, but give yourself 20 seconds of courage: “Hey, I need to get back to my friend/work, but I saw you from across the room and wanted to come introduce myself. Can I buy you a cup of coffee sometime?” At the very least, give them a drive-by compliment. You’ll never have to wonder “what if…”
Lao Tzu once said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
A life where you actually might get what you want and deserve begins with 20 seconds of courage.
Make the step. Approach that person.
Sign up for that club/class/speaking engagement.
Have that uncomfortable conversation you’ve been avoiding.
I’ve used 20 seconds of courage dozens of time in my life too.
Sometimes with health or fitness, sometimes with relationships, and other times with my own life level up quests, which I discuss in my book, Level Up Your Life.
“Steve this is great. But I’m still cautious and Matt Damon is cool and all, but give me nerdy stories I can learn from regarding 20 seconds of courage!”
Fine! Here are my favorite examples of 20 seconds of courage:
Super Mario Bros: Star Power makes Mario invincible for a short amount of time. He’s normal before and after, but in those few seconds he can cover some serious ground and wipe out a LOT of Koopas.
Transformers: Some transformers had the ability to transform from a robot into an animal form, just for a time. This was referred to as “Beast Mode!”
Ancient Viking lore: Berserkers were Norse warriors who worked themselves into a rage before battle, and fought in a nearly uncontrollable, trance-like fury.
Lord Urthstripe in the Redwall Series: A badger lord who goes into “bloodwrath” mode to vanquish his foes.
Will Ferrell in Old School: He puts together less than 20 seconds of pure genius in his debate with James Carville. Sure, afterwards he has no recollection of his answer (and before he was probably freaking out), but this 20 seconds saved his fraternity:
The 20 seconds Of Courage Challenge!
Today, I’m issuing a 20 Seconds of Courage Challenge.
You have 7 Days to use 20 Seconds of Courage to do something you’re scared of.
Everybody is fighting their own demons and chasing their own dragons (not a euphemism),
Leading an army of Transformers against the Decepticons.
January is a time when most people sign up for gym membership and other fitness programs. But did you know that your health insurance plans may cover your gym membership? That means that you might get your gym membership for free, or at a steep discount.
Insurance companies want you join a gym and be a healthy individual. It is more cost efficient for them to pay for all or part of your gym membership, if it improves your overall health and lowers the number of times that you end up using your health insurance in the future.
How to Get Free Gym Membership from Insurance
The exact rules and benefits vary based on your health insurance plan. But if you pay for a gym membership or plan to join, it’s always a good idea to check the benefits of your health insurance, and see what they offer.
Typically, you can log into your insurer’s website to review what is included in your health insurance plan. You can also call and ask, or check with your HR department at work.
It’s a good idea to do this before signing up for a new gym membership. Often, your health insurance provider will have ties to certain gym franchises.
Many health insurances have a Flexible Spending Account option, which is a tax-free account where you put aside a certain amount of money to help pay for any out-of-pocket health expenses. An FSA helps you pay for prescribed medications, some medical procedures, co-pays, and sometimes even your gym membership. But you have to make sure that the benefit is specifically listed. But if it’s no, you may still qualify for reimbursement if it’s medically necessary.
Heath Insurance with Free Gym Membership
Here are some examples of health insurance plans that offer gym benefits:
AmeriHealth: This plan offers a reimbursement up to $150 if you join an eligible gym and work out at least 120 days a year.
Cigna: Up to $150 per individual, or $300 per family per calendar year in qualified health club membership fees, fitness class fees, or online fitness class subscriptions.
Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield: Eligible members have a total of $200 per family to use towards reimbursement for any fitness clubs or exercise centers of their choosing in their eligible coverage year.
Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield of New Jersey: $20 reward per month ($240 per year) for members enrolled in the fitness incentive program. Members must work out at least 12 times a month at participating gyms.
Medicare does not cover the cost of gym membership. Many MA and Medigap plans will cover all or most of a gym membership through access to the Silver&Fit, Silver Sneakers, and Renew Active programs.
These are just some examples, and not a full list. Most insurances will offer this benefit. Let us know in the comments if yours does.
Guru’s Wrap-up
Reading through pages of health insurance documents is not fun. But knowing all your benefits is important. Being able to save $300-$400 a year on your gym membership just by filling out a form is a no-brainer.
If you already pay for a gym membership, or plan to sign up, it’s helpful to know that there are ways that your health insurance can help with those expenses.
You should also check the credit card you have in your wallet and see which one earns you the best rate on gym memberships. This quarter for example, you can earn 5% with the Chase Freedom Flex card.
You’ve probably heard of the regular barbell row. You pick up a barbell, bend over at the waist (keeping your back straight), and pull the weight up towards your chest.
It looks something like this:
This can be a great exercise, but improper form could cause complications or you might not have access to a barbell and plates.
Luckily, the bodyweight row (or inverted row) takes care of all of that.
By the way, I’ll be using “bodyweight row” and “inverted row” interchangeably in this article.[1]
When doing this movement, you only need a bar to lean back from and your body weight. There’s also no extra stress on your back, like with a traditional barbell row.
As an added bonus, you get a decent core workout too.
I know, that’s worth celebrating…
Think of it like this: “bench press” is to “pushing” as “inverted row” is to “pulling.”
Balance FTW!
Why the inverted bodyweight row is so great:
I’m a huge fan of compound exercises (like the squat and deadlift, pull-ups and push-ups), and I’m also a huge fan of exercises that don’t require expensive machines or lots of extra bells and whistles.
Set the bar (or your rings) around waist height. The lower the bar, the more difficult the movement becomes.
Position yourself under the bar lying face up. Lie on the floor underneath the bar (which should be set just above where you can reach from the ground).
Grab the bar with an overhand grip, slightly wider than shoulder-width (palms facing AWAY from you).
Contract your abs and butt, and keep your body in a completely straight line. Your ears, shoulders, hips legs, and feet should all be in a straight line (like you’re doing a plank).
Pull yourself up to the bar until your chest touches the bar.
Lower yourself back down with proper form.
If this movement is TOO difficult, nbd, we just need to back up a few steps.
Set the bar higher so that when you lean back, your body isn’t down on the ground; maybe it’s only at a 45-degree angle.
We’ll walk you through a row progression right here.
Here’s Staci again demonstrating it at a higher angle:
By setting the bar higher, it takes more of your body’s weight out of the equation.
As you get stronger (and/or lose weight), you’ll be able to drop the bar until you’re parallel when pulling yourself up.
I grabbed a video of Senior Coach Staci from Team NF demonstrating a bodyweight row with gymnastic rings, but the instruction you’ll get in the video will really be helpful too.
How to do a bodyweight row (with video explanation):
To keep proper form when doing an inverted bodyweight row:
Don’t let your butt sag (squeeze your buttcheeks, flex your stomach, and keep your body rigid from head to toe).
Don’t flail your elbows. Grab the bar with your hands a little closer than you would if you were doing a bench press, and keep your elbows at that angle from your body.
Pull the bar towards the middle of your chest. Don’t pull the bar up towards your throat, or down towards your belly button. Right in the middle!
Keep your abs tight. Keep your abs tight throughout the whole routine. Your body should be a straight line the whole time, and the only thing moving is your arms.
Pull your shoulder blades down and back towards each other through the movement. Don’t shrug your shoulders. Imagine you’re trying to pinch a pencil between your shoulder blades to keep it from falling!
GO all the way. Don’t half-ass it. Lower yourself until your arms are completely extended, and raise yourself until your chest touches the bar.
If you are building your own workout plan, you can mix in bodyweight rows wherever you normally do your pull exercises (pull-ups, pull-downs, rows, etc.).
Both days work my full body, I can do a full routine in less than 40 minutes, and I’m building strength.
If you can’t do dips on Day 1, you can do push-ups.
If you can’t do pull-ups on day 2, you can substitute assisted pull-ups.
On the rows, aim for 3 sets of 10. We cover this in our “sets and reps” article, but you can never go wrong with 3 sets of 10!
If you can’t do that, do 3 sets to however many reps you can do, and build your way up to 3 sets of 10.
Once you can do that, put your feet up on a chair, throw some weights in a backpack, put it on reverse (so the bag is hanging in front of you), and then do the rows.
Are you doing your moves correctly? Should you be lifting more weight or less? What do you eat to reach your goals?
We created the Nerd Fitness Coaching program to tackle these questions directly. Your own coach will get to know you, build a program based on your experience and goals, and check your form on each movement (via video):
Just because you don’t have access to a gym doesn’t mean you can’t work out your back, you just need to get VERY creative.
Here’s how you can do Inverted Bodyweight Rows at Home:
PATH ONE: Use your kitchen table. Or your desk. Be very careful with this one.
Lie underneath your table so your head and shoulder are sticking out above it.
Grab the table edge with an overhand grip, and pull yourself up (just like it’s explained above).
Warning, don’t pull the table over with you, and make sure you don’t break the thing!
PATH TWO: Get a really thick wooden dowel or pipe, something strong enough to support your weight. Lie it across two of your kitchen chairs, and then lie down underneath it.
Make sure it’s sturdy, and the bar isn’t going to break/move on ya, and pull yourself up.
Don’t forget, you want to stay in balance.
If you don’t have a pull-up bar and gymnastic rings, find a way to do some bodyweight rows whether it’s between two chairs or under a table.
Any more questions about the inverted bodyweight row?
Leave em below!
-Steve
PS: Our new app Nerd Fitness Journey will walk you through doing simple rows, all the way up to a full pull-up! Instead of worrying about what to do next, simply follow the workouts built into the app!
PPS: Be sure to check out the rest of the Strength Training 101 series:
You can also get the guide free when you sign up in the box below and join the Rebellion!
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Outside the door, I heard a flurry of thudding that reverberated back through the floor. I looked at my friend, then stepped in behind her. The room was damp and stuffy, despite a fan droning loudly in the corner. Six people were dispersed across the floor, weaving to their own rhythms. I was 18 and hadn’t been to a gym more than twice in my life; this was my first boxing class.
Though I was the least fit person in the room, the coach put me through all the drills: shadowboxing in front of the mirror (fine), punching a bag (cathartic), light sparring (rough). The coach struck my nose, my forehead, my jaw, my abdomen as he reminded me to keep my hands up and to keep moving. My legs were screaming; even a gentle tap on the nose stung. (It didn’t help that mine’s been broken since I was 7.) I realized that I liked martial arts anyway.
I wasn’t trying to be an amateur fighter, but I wanted to keep getting stronger and quicker. In this boxing class held at my college gym, and at the gyms I found to train in over summers, sparring was a given. The whole point of training was to get better at landing punches (and eluding them) in the ring. I liked to feel myself improving concretely every time I stepped back in to face a real opponent. But after graduating, I discovered that the experience I’d had that first day, an immediate induction into boxing by light sparring, was almost impossible to find.
Over the past several years, the popularity of “fitboxing” classes, which involve intense cardio, strength training, and ab workouts, has skyrocketed. These classes might look a lot like boxing, but they have a key difference: For the grand finale, you get to punch … a bag. Many of these gyms are entirely “noncontact,” and the few that do let you spar tend to charge extra for it. I asked Bryan Corrigan, my coach that first day, what he sees as the value of sparring—why had he started me on it the very first time I’d boxed? “It’s the whole mind game behind boxing and the science of it,” he told me. Yes, getting hit can be scary, but you learn to keep your calm and be strategic in the face of it. Without sparring, “that gets lost.”
For a long time, boxing gyms were, by nature, fighting gyms: You couldn’t find one without a ring. “In the beginning, we only had professional players and amateur fighters,” Bruce Silverglade, the owner of Gleason’s Gym, in Brooklyn, New York, told me. Many gyms were in low-income areas, and many of the people who fought in them were new immigrants or members of minority groups. Some viewed the sport as “a positive alternative to the streets.”
By the time “fitboxing” started to gain ground, that landscape had shifted. Many professional boxing matches had moved to pay-per-view TV, some fans had come to question the sport’s inherent brutality, and others were gravitating toward MMA fights. Professional fights were harder to find in New York and other storied boxing cities; those shows had moved largely to Las Vegas. Many free programs such as Cops and Kids, which made boxing accessible and provided a pathway for promising fighters from underserved neighborhoods, had also shrunk or shut down altogether. People inside and outside the sport were contending with boxing’s violence, and the brain damage that often resulted.
Meanwhile, fitness classes everywhere were exploding: barre, hot yoga, spinning. Fitboxing soon joined the ranks, and enough white-collar professionals were interested to start a sea change: Michael Hughes, the head trainer at Church Street Boxing, in Manhattan, New York, dates this shift to about 2012. Boutique boxing gyms sprang up to cater to this new clientele; many old-school fighting gyms had to revamp their offerings too. “Today, probably 85 percent of my members are businessmen and women that are just here for conditioning workouts,” Silverglade said.
And most of these newer boxers just weren’t interested in sparring, gym owners told me. As a result, now even many more traditional boxing gyms either don’t offer sparring or separate it out from their regular classes. Joey DeMalavez, the owner of Joltin’ Jabs, in Conshohocken, Pennsylvania, explained that sparring is simply not profitable, especially when gym owners have to contend with increasing rents and high insurance costs. “There’s just not enough people that want to get in there and do that,” DeMalavez told me. “To offer sparring into a regular boxing class will scare a lot more people than it’ll help.” What people really want is the experience of boxing without the possibility of getting hit.
The fear concerning safety is real, and it makes sense. Katalin Rodriguez Ogren, the owner of Pow! Gym Chicago, acknowledges the tension. “An old-school boxing gym doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a safe training environment,” she told me in an email. While these gyms will give you what Rodriguez Ogren calls an “authentic” experience, many “don’t understand injury prevention, or have the education to provide safe training classes,” she said. That’s not to say gyms can’t be both safe and authentic to boxing. With sparring (as opposed to actual fighting), the point is not to hurt someone or knock anyone out; it’s to hone accuracy and reflex. You take knocks where your defense is weak, and there is always a risk of accidents, much as in any sport, but the shots are not full power. Being hit and being hurt are different.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a boxing-inspired workout—all of the boxing coaches I spoke with agreed. It has some very real fitness benefits: It’s good cardio and can build strength and coordination. But fitboxing is not growing in popularity alongside boxing; it’s overtaking boxing. The few authentic boxing gyms I was able to find in Manhattan and Brooklyn can cost more than $100 a month to join. And boxing without sparring is a fundamentally different activity. “I kind of look at it like, Zumba is super fun and I love Zumba, but I’m not going to go to a Zumba class if I actually want to learn how to salsa dance,” Rodriguez Ogren said.
The risk of getting hit gives you direct, instant feedback about how much better you’re getting—and an extra boost of confidence and reward when you find that you are. “In order to keep you safe, you rely on your skill,” Peter Olusoga, a senior psychology lecturer at Sheffield Hallam University who has a background in sports and exercise psychology, told me. “The confidence boost that you get from seeing yourself improving and feeling more competent is really beneficial.” Although simply rehearsing boxing moves, as in fitboxing, can give you a taste, sparring enhances that feeling. Actually trying to hit another person, and keep yourself from being hit, represents a higher level of difficulty and intimacy with your sparring partners.
When I asked people in the boxing world what they consider the inherent value of sparring, many spoke to the discipline gained, or the visceral lessons it offers in dealing with adversity. But for me, it’s even more basic. A boxing-inspired workout is a great way to get in shape; sparring is a mind game. No matter how much I do it, I’ll still get hit, but I can now hold my own in the ring (mostly). I may never want to fight, but sparring is more than a workout—it’s a form of problem-solving that’s equal parts mental and physical. If you’re interested in boxing, I suggest slipping into the ring and actually trying it out.
PORT SAINT LUCIE, Fla., February 9, 2023 (Newswire.com)
– The Heroines are one of the first professional women’s paintball teams in the world and in their new two-part documentary premiering Super Bowl Sunday on YouTube, they are taking viewers into a new paintball universe. The game of paintball has long been dominated by men. Now, women are on a mission to inspire and empower young female athletes to change that.
In paintball, players can be any age, any skill or any gender to compete. Traditionally women have competed on the same field on co-ed teams with men. It’s one of the things that makes this sport unique. The problem? No one ever really knew the women were there, until now.
In 2021, six paintball field and team owners decided it was time for paintball to have a league that offered women and girls a place to compete in a sport they loved while becoming visible mentors and role models to other female athletes. At the largest event of the season, NXL World Cup – an exhibition match between two all-star women line-ups, would solidify the birth of a new all-women’s professional league: The WNXL.
The league made its debut in 2022 and the Original 6 teams competed at three events held across the country. One of these original six teams are The Heroines. Based in Port St. Lucie Florida, the team is made up of girls and women ages 16-32 from all over the country who have competed all over the world, some representing the USA selected to Team USA Paintball. Their coach is a world championship 15-year professional player veteran.
“The Heroines: The Documentary” shines a light on some of the world’s top female paintball players while magnifying their hard work and dedication to a sport that is often overlooked by many. Take a journey into the world of Women’s Professional Paintball and follow The Heroines as they return one year later hoping to secure a win and a season championship in the place it all started, the biggest stage in the game: World Cup.
This action packed series will give fans an inside look at the intensity and passion of these female athletes as they battle for top honors and fight to make history. Witness firsthand the effort, dedication and passion that these incredible women put into their game. From grueling practices, tough losses and thrilling tournament wins, The Heroines will inspire more women to become involved in paintball and challenge traditional gender roles within sports. With determination and grit, this female team is leading a revolution for female athletes everywhere.
If you’re looking for the ultimate adrenaline rush this will check the box.
Follow The Heroines on YouTube, be inspired, find a field, get in the game!
HONG KONG, December 10, 2022 (Newswire.com)
– The respected team at Halytus, made up of fitness lovers and deep tech enthusiasts creating innovative home gym solutions, just announced the launch of HooKee, a new smart home gym that can be used for over 100 fitness exercises with up to 100 lbs of resistance. This lightweight and compact home gym system lets busy people get in shape and stay in shape faster, conveniently, at home or on the road. Combining high technology and intelligent workouts, HooKee is an important tool for a healthier lifestyle and is available for pre-sale now.
HooKee is a revolutionary smart home gym device. Based on HydroFlex technology, it can output a variable resistance that makes it easy to perform both low-impact exercises and heavy lifting with a maximum of 100 lbs constant force. Built around this HydroFlex system, HooKee provides constant force output for a more balanced exercise. This innovative flexible materials design, driven by hydraulics allows maximum versatility in a compact package without adding extra weight and lets people work out in a more convenient way at home that is safe even for beginners.
“People today are busier than ever. Although everyone cares about their health, finding time to get to the gym can be hard. Not only that, but training with free weights or complicated machines at the gym often requires experience or the help of a trainer to ensure proper technique and avoid injury. Our goal with HooKee was to create an intelligent, easy-to-use, home and travel gym that could eliminate time-consuming trips to the gym and provide people with smart, app-guided workouts that were safe and easy to do at home. HooKee applies the latest in exercise technology with innovative materials that provide high output force, full adjustability, and a safer way to get fit. It lets you exercise on your terms, when and where you choose and save time and money.” Shen, Director, Halytus
Because it utilizes HydroFlex technology rather than bulky free weights, HooKee is compact, lightweight, and easy to carry anywhere, even while traveling. Paired with various available accessories, the device can provide over 100 body-shaping fitness exercises covering all muscle groups of the body. This smart exercise system utilizes UltraLink for interaction with its App while working out, displaying data in real-time, with multiple workout routines that eliminate the need for a personal trainer and provide a modern guided workout that is fun and effective.
This incredible new smart home gym concept with HydroFlex technology defines a new fitness experience and makes it easy for anyone to increase muscle, tone the body, and live a healthier lifestyle with fast, efficient body conditioning. HooKee is available now for pre-sale with rewards and special deals for early adopters. Learn more HERE.
