Mom defended for keeping diabetic son away from snack stealing stepchildren

Members of a popular internet forum were outraged after one mother revealed why her diabetic 11-year-old will not be riding to school with his stepfather any longer.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/thesmithsthrow (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said her stepchildren have stolen snacks from her son’s lunch, putting his health in jeopardy, and detailed her fury with her husband’s flippant reaction to the repeated thievery.

Titled, “[Am I the a**hole] for refusing to let my husband drive my son to school with his step siblings anymore?” the post has received more than 12,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments since October 18.

“My ex-husband and I [share] custody of our 11 y.o. son,” OP began. “He’s diabetic and since his diagnosis is relatively new, we’re still working on managing things for him.”

Continuing to explain that her son recently asked if she or her ex could drive him to school, the original poster said she discovered that his stepsiblings have been stealing snacks from his lunchbox—snacks he needs to prevent a hypoglycemic episode.

The original poster also said that, after the most recent incident, she was forced to put her foot down.

“His step siblings would take his lunch box from him and take the snacks and only leave him his sandwich and water,” OP wrote. “His stepdad thinks there’s nothing wrong with ‘sharing,’ although I explained to him about a [million] times how important his snacks are.

“I blew up at my husband and told him that my son won’t be riding in his car again with his step siblings after what they’d done and after he allowed it,” OP continued. “He lashed [out] at me saying that I was driving a wedge between the kids and teaching my son to grow up being selfish.

In the U.S., more than 40 percent of married couples with children are considered step-couples, or blended families, in which at least one partner was accompanied by a child from a previous relationship, according to SmartStepfamilies.

But while Pew Research Center reports that the number of children in the U.S. living in blended families has remained between 15 and 16 percent since the 1990s, transitioning from separate units into one happy family continues to be easier said than done.

A common challenge faced by blended families is the rocky relationship between new stepsiblings.

“Children in blended families may face insecurities and feel they have to act out to fight
for attention,” licensed mental health counselor and ChoosingTherapy.com expert Dr. Jaclyn Gulotta, Ph.D., told Newsweek.

“They may feel neglected by their parents,” Gulotta added. “They may feel they are competing against their new siblings for attention.”

Stepsiblings entrenched in deep or dangerous conflict need parental guidance toward resolution. And the best course of action often involves clear communication and a high level of respect.

“Parents can create a sense of unity by showing mutual respect to each child and creating a stable environment,” Gulotta said. “Having family check-ins and meetings that allow the children to create some of the new family rules can help them feel they have a voice and place in the home.”

But mutual respect requires equal participation, especially from parents tasked with providing an adult perspective when children are unable to mediate problems on their own.

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors pointed out a glaring lack of respect on the part of the original poster’s husband and questioned how a grown man could not understand the difference between “sharing” and stealing snacks from a diabetic child who desperately needs them.

“Unless your husband has some kind of rare cognitive impairment that means he doesn’t understand the meaning of ‘medical condition,’ he’s the one who’s the [a**hole] here,” Redditor u/bethbethbeth01 wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received more than 21,000 upvotes.

“Even if he doesn’t understand the severity of the medical issues, he does understand that his sons are stealing the majority of his stepson’s lunch,” Redditor u/rosered936 interjected, receiving more than 4,000 upvotes.

Redditor u/GM_Pax, whose comment has received more than 9,000 upvotes, took a more direct approach.

“It’s time to have a conversation with your husband about possibly modifying the custody arrangements for your son, because he is neglecting the boy’s very real medical needs in a way that can have very dire health consequences,” they wrote.

“Why are [you] with someone who endangers the life of your child?” Redditor u/Livid-Flan questioned, receiving more than 2,000 upvotes. “Knowingly not providing for a child’s medical needs is known as medical neglect.”

“[You are] exposing your son to your husband who has no regard for him or his medical condition,” another Redditor chimed in. “Do the right thing and get a divorce and your son away from this toxicity.”

Newsweek has reached out to u/thesmithsthrow for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.