bitchy | Us Weekly: Prince William & Kate are ‘more in sync than ever’ & ‘in awe of each other’

Us Weekly’s cover story this week is about Prince William and Kate, who seem for all intents and purposes to be separated physically and emotionally. That’s not the point of Us Weekly’s cover story though – it’s all about how they’re closer than ever (?) and how much William hates Harry (!) and how much William loves it when Kate gropes his ass in public (lol). My best guess is that this is propaganda from Middleton Manor, because William’s comms shop is all about reinforcing his Big Single Guy Energy. Got to appreciate the fact that Us Weekly chose this photo for the cover too – this is from QEII’s death-anniversary, when these two horse’s asses arrived in Wales over an hour late for a ten-minute memorial service. Will and Kate were all smiles, gawping and gurning at the handful of “fans” who waited over an hour to see them. Some highlights from the cover story:

More in sync than ever: “William and Kate are more in sync than ever,” a palace insider tells Us. “They cherish what they have with each other. For them, family comes first, and it always will.” According to the palace source, William and Kate, both 41, have both been deeply affected by the loss of the queen. “Her death hit them extremely hard,” says the source. “In many ways, it’s only now really sinking in that she’s gone. They’re the first to admit it’s been a tough year, but everyone agrees William and Kate have done a wonderful job staying strong in the face of such adversity.”

In awe of each other: All of the challenges have brought William and Kate closer. “They’re in awe of each other,” says the source. “William tells anyone who will listen that he couldn’t do it without Kate, and she echoes that right back.”

Kate’s ass-groping: They’ve even been engaging in some PDA lately, sharing a sweet kiss at a polo match in July.“William used to be quite awkward about showing too much affection,” says the source, “but Kate’s helped him relax.”

William’s obsession with all things Harry: The source says William’s estrangement from Harry, 39, remains a sore spot. “William hasn’t spoken to Harry in a long time. The standoff is mutual, and it doesn’t look like it will end anytime soon. William is furious over all the things Harry’s said about him,” says the source, noting that the way he was portrayed in Spare “tipped him over the edge.” Any hints of peace talks have stalled. “Even if Harry were to come crawling back with an apology, it’s hard to imagine William forgiving and forgetting. The only silver lining of this situation is that it’s motivated William to keep his family unit very firmly intact.”

The move to Adelaide Cottage: They’re enjoying their new home away from the hustle and bustle of the city. “Adelaide feels like a more serene environment for them,” explains the source. “William and Kate are proud to serve and help people in any way they can,” says the source. “But more than anything, they’re proud of their marriage and beautiful family.”

[From Us Weekly]

“Even if Harry were to come crawling back with an apology…” These morons really pinned all of their hopes on that. They thought if they were sadistic enough, if they punished Harry enough, if they smeared Meghan enough, that Harry would come “crawling back” to them, begging for forgiveness. That’s how they operate, that’s how they think, that’s their entire all-stick-no-carrot approach to life and negotiations. The only thing which reads true, to me, in this entire mess is this part: “The only silver lining of this situation is that it’s motivated William to keep his family unit very firmly intact.” While we talk a lot about how the knives are seemingly out for Kate and what it all means, I still maintain that Kate is in it to the bitter end and William won’t dump her unless he has someone else waiting in the wings. They’ll live separate lives and Kate won’t do much of anything, but that’s actually fine with William. He loves his “family man” image, he just wants to also be seen as a sexy heartthrob who is ready to screw around on his wife with anyone.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, cover courtesy of Us Weekly.