bitchy | Donald Trump indicted by New York grand jury, will likely surrender next Tuesday

LMAO. So, earlier this week, Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg let everyone believe that it could be late April or early May before the grand jury indicted Donald Trump. Then by the end of business on Thursday, Bragg was like “hey, here’s a 34-count indictment on Trump.” Glorious! The indictment is still sealed, so we don’t know exactly what he’s being charged with, nor do we know the extent of the evidence against Trump. Considering this grand jury has been empaneled since January, I think we can safely say that Bragg has a lot of evidence of fraud, criminality and shenanigans, all related to Trump’s hush-money payments to Stormy Daniels, an American hero and icon. We also know that these charges could involve significant jail time. LMAO.

The New York Times has been doing rolling updates on the situation all of yesterday evening and into this morning. New York law enforcement is bracing for a sh-tshow of violent morons demonstrating on behalf of their orange god. About 20 people (SAD) showed up outside Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach to cheer for Trump. Trump is currently living in Mar-a-Lago, his Florida compound, and there seems to be a lot of energy towards getting him to peacefully surrender in New York next week, likely Tuesday. I imagine there will be a lot of coordination with his Secret Service too. Meanwhile, Florida’s governor, Ron DeSantis, has already huffed and puffed about how New York law enforcement better not try to extradite Trump from Florida.

What else? Trump has been going bonkers on Truth Social and there are very real fears that he is once again trying to incite his army of heavily armed sh-theads to do something awful. Still, I can’t wait for the perp walk. LMAO.

BREAKING: Governor Ron DeSantis says Florida ‘will not assist in an extradition request’ for Trump pic.twitter.com/bJiNDzTwKv

— Insider Paper (@TheInsiderPaper) March 30, 2023

He will be fingerprinted. He will be photographed. He may even be handcuffed.

Now that a Manhattan grand jury has voted to indict Donald Trump, here’s what will happen when he is arrested. https://t.co/1rzwYG7y30

— The New York Times (@nytimes) March 30, 2023

The front page of The New York Times for March 31, 2023. https://t.co/Y3WOVhr1wj pic.twitter.com/aLjLVdPMP7

— The New York Times (@nytimes) March 31, 2023

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Backgrid.