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How do soaps’ baddies get away with everything? Check out what Digest columnist Carolyn Hinsey has to say about what’s happening across the daytime dial.
Characters doing terrible things is Soaps 101, but only the top troublemakers can get away with it.
Good dialogue helps. DAYS’s Victor Kiriakis was the gold standard (sniff) and one-note baddies Alex, Sloan, Dimitri, Talia and Colin are not filling his formidable shoes. I had Megan in that category until they sent her to prison and teamed her with her sudden sister, legendary nutbag Kristen DiMera.
Kristen (re: a letter): “Hand it over.”
Megan: “What’s the magic word?”
Kristen: “Hand it over or I’ll rip your throat out.”
Megan: “That’s nine words.”
See, that’s funny. The psycho sisters share a father (Stefano DiMera) and a bottomless need for the men who have repeatedly rejected them (Bo for Megan, Brady for Kristen) so — combined with good writing — the whole is becoming greater than the sum of its parts.
Ditto Anna and Nicole, currently working together to pull the wool over Salem’s collective eyes.
Nicole: “We have to figure out what to do with this new secret.”
Anna: “Lay it on me.”
Nicole: “I’m pregnant and I don’t know if the father is EJ or Eric.”
Repetition of the word “secret” aside (hic!) it’s so refreshing to have A-listers face a realistic problem instead of hallucinogenic biscuits and the devil jumping from body to body.
EJ: “All’s well, now that everything is out in the open.”
Cut to Nicole arranging a paternity test…
If there’s a model for peak scoundrel, it’s GH’s Tracy Quartermaine. She made her bones in 1980 withholding lifesaving heart medication from her father so we never expect warm fuzzies. Her latest escapade involved blackmailing her granddaughter Brook
Lynn with damaging info about Chase to get her to spy on Deception. When BL balked, Tracy called Chase.
Tracy: “Shall we have lunch?”
The cop was understandably confused, so he turned to his partner.
Chase: “Do you speak Quartermaine?”
Dante: “It’s Tracy. She’s got an agenda.”
Bingo. We know exactly what to expect from A-list nasties: Drama!
Unfortunately, Nina’s not making the grade lately because she’s not owning her actions. She claims to want a relationship with her sudden daughter Willow but then goes out of her way to ruin the people Willow loves. Nina also lied to that dying ember Willow that she’d make peace with Carly.
Ava: “You tipped off the SEC before you promised Willow.”
Nina: “I don’t think it’s going to matter that I took revenge on Carly before she asked me not to.”
Never mind what Sonny will do when he learns his fiancée ratted out the mother of his kids. Luckily Ava was there to counsel her bestie when Nina debated coming clean.
Ava: “Carly will weasel her way out of it, hopefully after she suffers. You’ve gotten away with murder. Don’t tell anybody where to find the body.”
The difference there is that Ava doesn’t pretend to be anything other than a coldhearted gold digger out for herself. Ditto Sonny, who’s unabashedly running guns through his warehouse for money. It would have taken a lot more than Hardy Boys Michael and Dex to bring him down.
I’m waiting for the day B&B’s Deacon is brought down for hiding Sheila because that’s going to be fun. In the meantime, must we watch every Forrester claim, “Thomas has changed!” 72 times per episode? He killed Emma, stalked Hope, framed Brooke for calling CPS on him and broke up Ridge and Brooke.
Steffy: “I really feel Thomas is a changed man.”
R.J.: “That doesn’t erase everything he put my mom through.”
Thank you! Ignoring Thomas’s past won’t redeem him, a necessary step if we’re ever going to believe Hope would cheat on her solid husband with her sketchy stepbrother (ew).
Liam (greeting Hope with candles and wine): “We’re celebrating that you weren’t forced to spend the night alone with Thomas in San Francisco! Did he try anything? You promise? Nothing at all?”
That’s some solid marriage you got there.
No one beats Y&R’s Victor for troublemaking and he did it again recently, offering Sally money to leave town if she left his unborn grandchild behind.
Nick: “Sally is not for sale.”
Victor: “Has it occurred to you that by turning me down she was upping the ante?”
I don’t like Sally because she committed a ton of crimes on B&B but is now this whiny victim who needs to be protected by either her boyfriend or her baby daddy, who are, of course, brothers. (Only a seasoned harlot like B&B’s Brooke Logan could pull off a family affair of that magnitude.) Still, Victor’s offer went too far so Nick turned to his mom for sympathy.
Nick: “Dad tried to pay off Sally.”
Nikki: “I was just reminding your sister how your father plays by his own rules.”
Victoria (sarcastic): “I was shocked!”
Nikki: “I’ll give you two some privacy so you can complain about your parents.”
That scene illustrates why Victor gets away with everything — because it’s entertaining.
It’s not as enjoyable when the pot-stirrers are annoying, but that’s another case where putting two together with snappy dialogue can work.
Adam: “Enjoying early retirement? Must be nice to be out from under the burden of a failing empire. McCall is mine.”
Tucker: “I did hear Victor intended to hand it over to you as a bailout for your failures at Jabot and Newman.”
Adam: “How did you let things get so bad?”
Ashley: “He was busy becoming a better person.”
Adam: “Self-improvement can be a burden.”
Ashley: “How would you know?”
Add Ashley to the list of agitators who can say or do anything. We’ll see if Phyllis proves she is still a top troublemaker in the difficult weeks to come…
Hey. It’s only my opinion.
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